(no subject)
there's a sadness always just a touch below the surface.
it comes at unexpected times, with or without my permission.
so why fight against myself, right?
so i'm dressing myself in sadness tonight, listening to sad songs, smoking sad cigarettes, praying sad prayers for the drunk kids and for the lovers and for the fighters and for the catholics and for all those with their hearts on their sleeves who are destined to fall sooner or later (all great civilizations and empires will fall...), drinking sad coffee so i can stay awake and think about how this is a sad saturday morning.
sadness is so lovely, like a dress that fits her just right and blows so softly in the wind.
full of fragile grace.
sometimes i feel really melodramatic, jon said something about that once.
i don't really know how else to be, though.
things strike me in such strange ways, there are two things i know how to do well:
one. fall in love
two. be upset
sometimes i hate that nothing's permanent.
no matter how much you eat, sleep, fuck, put gas in your car, clean, brush your hair, breathe...
it never lasts long enough.
mostly i'm okay with this.
sometimes it just makes me very tired and makes me think that life is just a neverending cycle of us losing the upper hand we fight so hard to hold.
not that i would have created the world any differently.
it just makes me tired.
brandon.
it comes at unexpected times, with or without my permission.
so why fight against myself, right?
so i'm dressing myself in sadness tonight, listening to sad songs, smoking sad cigarettes, praying sad prayers for the drunk kids and for the lovers and for the fighters and for the catholics and for all those with their hearts on their sleeves who are destined to fall sooner or later (all great civilizations and empires will fall...), drinking sad coffee so i can stay awake and think about how this is a sad saturday morning.
sadness is so lovely, like a dress that fits her just right and blows so softly in the wind.
full of fragile grace.
sometimes i feel really melodramatic, jon said something about that once.
i don't really know how else to be, though.
things strike me in such strange ways, there are two things i know how to do well:
one. fall in love
two. be upset
sometimes i hate that nothing's permanent.
no matter how much you eat, sleep, fuck, put gas in your car, clean, brush your hair, breathe...
it never lasts long enough.
mostly i'm okay with this.
sometimes it just makes me very tired and makes me think that life is just a neverending cycle of us losing the upper hand we fight so hard to hold.
not that i would have created the world any differently.
it just makes me tired.
brandon.