okay. i do have to say
probably disregard my last two posts.
i'm just really chaotic sometimes.
you know, i really feel like maybe i should see a therapist.
people have told me before that they think i should see a therapist
and i think maybe i should. but as far as i'm concerned, therapy is expensive.
but at the same time, i like being an emotional wreck.
i think it gives my life something a little bit interesting.
and i normally get inspired then. but that makes sense i suppose.
not only that, but i almost have a fear of therapists.
i mean not really a fear because i've never seen one or anything.
but it's like. in my eyes, seeing a therapist is like putting yourself under
a the cerebral knife if you know what i mean. assuming that therapists or
better yet psychologists are skilled enough to do that sort've thing, which,
i would assume they are. its just a scary thought for me.
i have two extra senses and thats a fact let me tell you. the 6th is that i
have like a built in lie detector and it never fails me. the 7th is that i am
an EXTREMELEY good judge of character. and thats what scares me.
i know what its like to psychologically dissect someone without them even knowing,
and the thought of someone doing that to me bothers me.
not only that, but i would never be able to get past the fact that i would be
pouring myself out to this person, this stranger, who is only listening to me
because they're getting paid for it. it's not genuine help.
all in all, i've just been thinking about things a lot. and my past.
two major situations. one is a very angry situation, and the other is a very depressing
situation. so i have both ends in extreme on my hands and i just want them to go away.
but at the same time, i don't. one of them i want to forget all in all.
the other, i don't. i just want to fix the other. i can't fix it. but i want to.
i just need something. to just get something to get me to fix it.
but i think in reality, the situation is doomed. i want to fix it, but i know that i cannot, really.
the odds are so greatly running up against me, i just can't fix it.
i dunno. i'm sick of giving you guys this bullshit and i'm sorry.
i'm just really losing right now and this is the only thing i can do about it.
i'm just really chaotic sometimes.
you know, i really feel like maybe i should see a therapist.
people have told me before that they think i should see a therapist
and i think maybe i should. but as far as i'm concerned, therapy is expensive.
but at the same time, i like being an emotional wreck.
i think it gives my life something a little bit interesting.
and i normally get inspired then. but that makes sense i suppose.
not only that, but i almost have a fear of therapists.
i mean not really a fear because i've never seen one or anything.
but it's like. in my eyes, seeing a therapist is like putting yourself under
a the cerebral knife if you know what i mean. assuming that therapists or
better yet psychologists are skilled enough to do that sort've thing, which,
i would assume they are. its just a scary thought for me.
i have two extra senses and thats a fact let me tell you. the 6th is that i
have like a built in lie detector and it never fails me. the 7th is that i am
an EXTREMELEY good judge of character. and thats what scares me.
i know what its like to psychologically dissect someone without them even knowing,
and the thought of someone doing that to me bothers me.
not only that, but i would never be able to get past the fact that i would be
pouring myself out to this person, this stranger, who is only listening to me
because they're getting paid for it. it's not genuine help.
all in all, i've just been thinking about things a lot. and my past.
two major situations. one is a very angry situation, and the other is a very depressing
situation. so i have both ends in extreme on my hands and i just want them to go away.
but at the same time, i don't. one of them i want to forget all in all.
the other, i don't. i just want to fix the other. i can't fix it. but i want to.
i just need something. to just get something to get me to fix it.
but i think in reality, the situation is doomed. i want to fix it, but i know that i cannot, really.
the odds are so greatly running up against me, i just can't fix it.
i dunno. i'm sick of giving you guys this bullshit and i'm sorry.
i'm just really losing right now and this is the only thing i can do about it.