the shit just hit the fan...
Idk how this stupid shit came up, but now its tearing a rift into me. I was finally confident about myself, and then Heather tore me apart, nd w/e its her opinion, but idk... joking about it, nd laughing it off don't help. I'm really exhausted right now... i just wanna sleep... i feel like we're drifting... its true, really nd u no i'm a runner, if theres gonna be rain, im on my way as fast as possible... its really fucking hard to have a real relationship under the circumstances. She works all week, i work all weekend, in school we're constantly surrounded by people who are still freaked out... then theres no communication because she said not to call... Now school sucks, work sucks, my family sucks, my friends are all i have left, and i'm tired. nd broke too... i wish i could just get away... if i had more days like last friday night, i'd be so freaking happy. Sara nd i talked more than we have in forever, kerstin made me laugh, and ordered me some pretty good coffe, and heather was around. I feel like shit. My father tells me im stupid, i'm not doing well in my classes. At pv, i've amounted to nothing. I didn't get into NHS and i'll probably get rejected at the colleges i want to go to. My fathers' a basturd. all he does is fight w/ me i swear i want to fight him, maybe a fist fight would calm me down. Its everything at once thats overwhelming me... my father, my job, the holiday, my mother, college, school, heather, all at once. i can't stand up ne more. its not worth getting up in the morning...