FIC | RPS < J2 < Dark Light < 07/??
Title: Dark Light [07/??]
Fandom: RPS - Actors
Pairing: Jensen Ackles / Jared Padalecki
Rating: NC17 (overall)
Warnings: AU, language, slash, sexual content, bottom!Jared, violence, character death, crack.
Summary: Ever since he can remember, Jared's had strange dreams, most of them involving a man he's never even met before. But then one day, he finds himself being followed, stalked by the very same mysterious stranger. Much to his disbelief, however, this isn't the worst of his problems -- it's probably the best thing to happen to him ever. Until the trouble starts.
Disclaimer: No harm, no foul.
Words: This Part: 4,814 ; Full Story: 36,107
Note: Sorry for the wait; I'd had most of this chapter already typed up and waiting for me, but I had trouble finishing it. I promised you guys that you'd like this chapter, and I certainly hope I wasn't wrong. ;P
Previous Chapters:
{ MASTERPOST}
DARK LIGHT
s e v e n
"Jared."
The voice that broke into his dreams was soft and familiar, the tone warm. As Jared started to come into consciousness, he took a deep breath and inhaled that wonderful smell he'd already grown quite used to. His name was said again, and as much as he wanted to ignore it, to go back to sleep, he knew better.
His eyes cracked open, and he blinked a few times. Jensen was standing over him, and when Jared looked up at him, the older man gave him a small smile. Swallowing, Jared reached up to rub at his eyes, wondering what time it was, scared that it might be too late.
"I should get you home," Jensen said lightly. "It's half past eight."
Jared spoke before he could stop himself. "I don't want to go home." His voice cracked slightly, as if he hadn't used it in a while, and he cleared his throat a little. "I want to stay here."
A few different expressions passed over Jensen's face, the one to remain being puzzlement. His eyebrows were pinched together, but there was a little smile lingering on his lips still. "Why?" he asked.
Jared's cheeks were heating up before he even answered. "I...like it here," he said. "It's cool being somewhere that actually feels safe." He had to fight to keep from adding that the main reason was because he liked being around Jensen.
"I can't keep you here forever," Jensen said, playfully throwing Jared's words back at him.
Jared gave a little laugh, and he shifted onto his side, propping himself up on an elbow. He bit at his bottom lip, then raised his eyebrows at Jensen. "Maybe just the night?"
Jensen studied him, then turned away. One of his hands went to the back of his neck, and his voice sounded kind of weird when he replied, strained.
"Would Sharon mind?" he asked.
"Not if I tell her I'm at Chad's," Jared answered. "I used to stay at his place all the time." He paused, then used the tone Megan usually used when she wanted something -- he knew it was wrong, but he was doing it before he could even think about it. "Unless you don't want me to stay..."
"No," Jensen said quickly, turning back to him, his green eyes slightly wider. "I mean, I don't -- I don't mind."
"It's not like I want to put you out or anything either," Jared added. "I'll sleep on the floor --"
"You certainly will not," Jensen said. He swallowed, then his gaze softened slightly. "Of course you can stay here. I'll grab Christian's phone for you."
When he left the room, Jensen seemed kind of flustered, and Jared had another moment of strange smugness. He sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, and he combed the fingers of his right hand through his hair, flattening it against his head.
Energy swelled inside of him; it felt like the Power (for he'd learned that's how it was to be referred to) was greeting him. It was nice, of course, almost as if he was reuniting with an old friend, even though they hadn't really been apart.
He glanced towards the door, then let his eyes fall closed. He knew what Jensen had said about meditating again, but what could a few seconds hurt? He definitely felt revived after his little nap, so it wasn't like he was too drained for it or anything.
He tapped into the Power, and warm comfort flooded his body. He didn't want to get too deep into it, of course, if Jensen was going to be returning any moment, but it was a good feeling to have the Power thrum in his veins for just a little bit.
When Jensen returned, he felt it rather than heard it, felt the arrival of more energy, another body of Power. But he felt something else too, something that kind of confused him. Some kind of emotion was rolling off of that second body of Power in waves, something that felt like...affection? Was that right? Why would Jensen feel that way, and how could Jared know that?
"What are you doing?"
Jared made himself open his eyes, and he looked up at Jensen, who was standing in the doorway. He studied Jared's expression, and Jared tried to keep it casual, though he was still kind of confused about what he'd felt.
"Nothing," he answered. "Still trying to wake up." For good measure, he added, "Meditation was a lot more draining than I thought it would be."
This answer seemed to please Jensen, and he entered the room fully, holding out a cordless phone. "You okay?" he asked, and as Jared took the phone, Jensen crossed his arms.
Jared nodded quickly, tossing the older man a reassuring smile. He looked down at the phone, but he paused.
"Can I ask you something? About our...bond?"
Jensen shrugged his shoulders. "Sure."
"When you said we were connected," Jared started, "You mentioned that you could feel what I was feeling. Is it like...possible for me to feel what you feel too?"
Jensen shifted on his feet, lowering his gaze, and he seemed kind of flustered again. "Yes," he answered. "If you wanted to."
"How?" Jared asked. "How do you do it?"
"You would reach out with your mind," Jensen explained. "Focus on me and on how I feel. It's a lot easier than you'd think."
"How do I feel?" Jared asked. "Tell me; I just want to see how it works."
Jensen paused, then took a deep breath. His eyes fluttered closed for a moment, and his brow furrowed, his head cocking slightly. "Curious," he said, "And you feel comfortable, yet still a bit shy. You're hopeful of something -- what?"
It was kind of weird -- Jared hadn't felt a thing, yet Jensen had gotten all of his uppermost feelings nailed. It definitely wasn't like getting your mind read, and he was a little surprised. At Jensen's question though, he shrugged his shoulders. He had no clue what he was hopeful of, must've been a subconscious thing.
"I don't know," he answered. "I didn't even know I was feeling it."
Despite his earlier nervousness, Jensen smiled. He gestured to the phone. "Better call Sharon before it gets too late," he said. "I'll be back."
Jared watched as Jensen left the room again, and he glanced down at the phone as he started to dial. Sharon answered after two rings, and it wouldn't have surprised him if she'd been sitting at the phone all day waiting for him.
"Hey Mom," he said. "Sorry I didn't call earlier."
"That's okay, hon," she said. "Where are you?"
"Chad's," Jared answered. "I was starting to fall asleep, figured I'd give you a call and let you know I'm just gonna stay here for the night."
"Oh...okay," Sharon said. "Are you sure? I could come pick you up."
"I'm sure," he said. "We're just playing some games and stuff. I'll have him drop me off tomorrow morning or something."
"Well, okay. Just as long as you're back for your appointment with Dr. Morgan."
"Sure thing, Mom," he said. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Call me if you need anything," she threw in quickly.
"Uh huh, love you." He hung up.
He glanced towards the door again, and he was glad Jensen hadn't come back yet. He closed his eyes, seeking Jensen out with his mind and attempting to focus on his emotions, like Jensen had said. Curiosity killed the cat, he knew, but sometimes the cat just couldn't help himself.
He felt a wide range of emotions, it was so strong it was almost like a hit to the face. First there was trepidation and nervousness, then struggle. Wonder followed by attraction, which then brought conflict. And then there was love. It was so powerful that Jared couldn't stand to feel it any longer, and his eyes snapped open on their own accord, the Power still buzzing in him, as if confused at how fast it'd ended.
Jensen was feeling all that?
Jared was a little worried about all the inner turmoil Jensen seemed to be dealing with, but the two emotions that had stood out the most were the attraction and love. Jared's cheeks heated up, a warmth traveling through him at the way those feelings had radiated from his guardian.
He didn't want to get his hopes up or anything, but he had a small hunch that Jensen felt those things about him. He realized that that was what he'd been hopeful of -- he'd been hoping that that first burst of affection he'd felt from Jensen had been intended for him.
But love? Did Jensen love Jared? Was it merely platonic? A paternal love? Was it more than that? It was hard to imagine, but not entirely impossible, Jared supposed.
Or was he overreacting? Reading too far into this?
Footsteps in the hallway announced Jensen's return, and Jared stood up just as the older man entered the room. Jensen glanced at him, but Jared had already put on his poker face.
"What'd she say?" Jensen asked.
"What I thought she'd say," Jared answered with a shrug. "She doesn't mind."
He held the phone out, and as Jensen reached forward to take it, their fingers brushed. Heat raced up Jared's whole arm, and at the way Jensen's body stiffened, he knew the older man had felt it too. Jared couldn't enjoy this knowledge though, because at that moment Jensen stepped away like he'd been burned. That actually kind of stung a bit.
"Are you hungry?" Jensen asked quietly, looking down at his hands as he turned the phone over in them.
"Something about me you should always know," Jared said slowly, trying not to let his disappointment show, "I'm always hungry."
Jensen smiled one of his rare smiles, and Jared felt a little better about what'd happened.
"Do you want to order something?" Jensen asked. "Go somewhere?"
Jared paused thoughtfully. He didn't really feel like leaving, but as safe as this place was, it was also quite small. "Let's go somewhere," he said. "You can choose."
As they were leaving the shop, Jared couldn't help but feel a little giddy inside. It was dumb of him, he knew, but this could've been considered a first date. He side-glanced Jensen as they walked, maybe hoping for once he'd be able to read the older man's face. He couldn't of course, and he sighed noticeably.
* * *
"What? No twenty questions tonight?"
Jensen and Jared had ended up at a fast food joint, though it'd been Jared to make the final decision. They were sitting across from each other in the small restaurant, and Jensen was smirking at him, one of his eyebrows raised.
Jared lowered his gaze, shrugging one of his shoulders. The only questions he really had on his mind were a bit personal, and he didn't think Jensen would appreciate them.
"I don't know," he said. "It's not really a questions kind of moment."
"But you still have them," Jensen said.
"Of course," Jared gave a little smile of his own.
"You should ask them," Jensen said. "Unless you'd rather us sit in silence and stare awkwardly at each other all night."
"This is awkward for you?" Jared asked, kind of surprised. He was feeling quite comfortable -- he always felt that way with Jensen.
"You always make me feel awkward." The look on Jensen's face said that he clearly hadn't meant to say that, but he didn't try to take it back or anything.
Jared didn't know what to make of the comment, much less what to say. "If it makes you feel any better," he tried, "I don't do it intentionally."
Jensen smiled at him, but dropped his gaze.
There was a long pause. "Okay, here's a question," Jared said, sitting up in his chair a little more so that he could lean over the table slightly. He lowered his voice just a bit. "How is the shop safe like it is? What kind of...magic is Christian doing if he isn't exactly, you know... Is he strong enough for that?"
Jensen seemed glad to be on a different topic, and he relaxed. "Believe it or not," he said, "What Chris did has nothing to do with the Power."
"Really?"
A couple passed their table, and Jensen waited. Then he leaned in a little closer as well, so close that Jared was half-tempted to try and count his freckles.
"It's the small-time stuff," the older man answered. "Rituals, spells -- stuff anyone who shops there could probably do. It's just...enhanced because of the Power that ran through his family, the small bit that runs through him."
"Well how does it work?" Jared asked.
Jensen's gaze locked on Jared's, but he didn't respond right away, almost as if he was deciding the right way to answer. He looked down at the table before he spoke.
"It cleanses the area, protects it from evil." He sighed lightly. "The fact that you haven't had your mind read today just proves that whoever's doing it means you harm." He made a noise in the back of his throat, maybe it was a scoff of sorts. "If it was, as you said, some random person with the ability just looking into random minds out of boredom, then Christian's 'trick' would do nothing against it."
Well that certainly sent a chill down Jared's spine. He blinked a few times, relaxing back in his chair, and Jensen studied him, his eyes searching his face intently.
"Or maybe they just haven't had a chance to try today," Jared said slowly, though he honestly didn't believe that.
Jensen sighed again, reaching up to rub at his face. "Jared," he said, "Why are you making excuses for this person? You need to take this seriously, you need to not be so damn naïve."
"I'm not making excuses," Jared argued, "And I'm not being naïve. It's just that --" he caught himself, then shook his head. "Nevermind."
"No, what?" Jensen asked. "What were you going to say?"
Jared paused, and as he looked down at the table, he could feel heat creep up his neck. "It's just that I know you'll never let anything happen to me," he said. He made himself meet Jensen's gaze. "I trust you with everything in me." He meant it whole-heartedly.
Jensen's eyes softened, his features going into one of his famous unreadable expressions. He looked almost surprised, and his mouth started to open, but closed again. Jared wanted to say something else, maybe something to lighten the mood, but he didn't know what would work. He chewed on his bottom lip, picking at the chipped table top -- now things felt kind of awkward.
"I told Chris I'd bring him something," Jensen said shortly, standing up.
Jared watched him walk to the front counter, and he gave a little sigh, looking around. After a quick moment of contemplation, he closed his eyes and focused only on Jensen. The Power felt like it was raring to go, ready for anything -- so Jared tried to read Jensen's emotions again.
First he felt bewilderment, then a sense of doubt. He was starting to feel something that could've been chagrin, but there was a sudden sharp pain to his right temple.
He took in a quick breath, one of his hands going quickly to his forehead, and he let go of the Power immediately -- it seemed to fold in on itself, almost guiltily. The pain lessened to a dull throb pretty much instantly, and he massaged his temple lightly, cursing under his breath. Was this what Jensen had meant when he'd said Jared could hurt himself?
"What's wrong?"
Jared glanced up -- Jensen was standing next to the table, brow furrowed and a bag of food in one of his hands. Jared quickly dropped his arm, and he tried to ignore the slow pain.
"Just a small headache," he answered. "Does Christian have any aspirin?"
Jensen nodded, but he didn't say anything -- he stared hard at Jared for a long moment, as if he were trying to figure him out. Jared was almost feeling a bit nervous, it was a childish kind of fear, the fear of getting caught doing something you know you're not supposed to.
Finally, Jensen asked, "You ready?"
Instead of answering, Jared stood and started gathering his trash. His head didn't feel like it was going to stop hurting anytime soon, and the Power was still humming inside of him, like it was begging him to use it.
Jensen had told him that some found the Power like a drug, strongly addicting. Jared made a quick vow to himself as they were leaving the restaurant -- he was never going to lose control.
Especially if it would cause him such nasty headaches.
* * *
"So where are you going to sleep?"
They were climbing the stairs of the Turning Wheel, after having entered through the back door and relocking up for the night. Christian wasn't around, so Jared assumed he was in his own room.
"There's a couch in Chris' room," Jensen answered casually.
Jared glanced over his shoulder at the older man, feeling bad. "I can sleep there," he said quickly.
"I don't mind, Jared." Jensen passed him a little smirk as they stopped in the hallway, turning to each other.
"Well I do," Jared said. "I asked to stay here even though I know how small this place is. Talk about incredibly rude."
"It's fine," Jensen tried to assure him. "And besides, Christian's a talker -- he'll keep you up all night."
"I just don't want to make you give up your bed." Jared couldn't let it go.
Jensen started to say something, though his voice was too low for Jared to hear, but he changed his mind and turned to walk away. Jared hesitated.
"Tell me," he said.
Jensen turned back to him. "I was going to say that my bed is the very least of the things I would give up for you."
Without waiting for a response, he went to Christian's closed door, knocking on it lightly. Jared felt himself blush, not at Jensen's words, but the way he'd said them, and he slipped into Jensen's room. He made his way slowly to the bookshelf, running his fingers through his hair as he gazed over the large collection his guardian had working. Most of the books didn't have titles, but in all reality, he didn't care. He was too busy trying to figure out how he felt for Jensen.
He knew whatever it was he felt for him was growing fast, and he knew it was strong -- whether or not it was the bond, Jared didn't know. He hadn't had much luck in this department of life, but he was almost sure that this is what was called sexual tension. Whenever he was around Jensen the air just seemed to crack with it.
He just wished he could know if Jensen felt it too. Maybe there was just something wrong with Jared, it was an unnatural side-effect of the awakening of his powers or something.
The older man came back to the room, entering it slowly, but his footsteps stopped. Jared barely glanced over his shoulder to find Jensen standing just inside the doorway, his hands in his pockets, and his gaze on Jared.
"What are you thinking about?" he asked.
Jared shook his head, turning back to the books. "Nothing important," he said. He obviously couldn't tell Jensen that he was thinking about how bad he wanted to kiss him, just to see what it was like -- just knowing that he was thinking about it was making his cheeks burn.
"I'm sorry," Jensen said. He cleared his throat, letting out a nervous-sounding chuckle. "I -- ah, I was a little moody earlier, wasn't I?"
Jared smirked, then shook his head, keeping his back to Jensen. "I'm used to it," he said playfully.
He heard Jensen move again, and felt him approach. His stomach twisted up slightly as Jensen stopped beside him, and Jared wished he was just a little more brave, wished he could be cool about this.
"Are you feeling okay?" Jensen asked, no falseness to his concern.
Jared nodded quickly. Truth was, he was feeling kind of breathless, kind of nauseous. He supposed it showed; he was practically sweating bullets.
"Did you want that aspirin?" Jensen asked next.
Jared shook his head, and a silence settled over them like a blanket. His head hadn't actually stopped hurting, but it wasn't so important to him anymore, especially since he figured aspirin wouldn't help a Power-related headache.
Their gazes met and locked, and this was one of those rare times that Jared felt uncomfortable with Jensen. He swallowed against his dry throat, wanting to say something, but finding he was at a loss, yet again.
"Jared --"
It was as if something else had suddenly taken over his body, he didn't know what had come over him, but with a sudden stroke of courage, Jared leaned forward and cut Jensen's words off by pressing his lips to the older man's. Just the contact made sparks fly through Jared's body -- inside of him, the Power's buzz intensified.
He didn't know if this was a mistake or not, but at the moment, he didn't particularly care.
* * *
Fire engulfed Jensen's entire body, his heart starting to beat faster, and he felt like the room had started spinning. Jared's lips were soft and sweet, brushing over his own and resting there -- as if he were too nervous to go on, obviously it was his first time. Any and all stress left Jensen for the moment, and everything was right in the world.
The kiss could've lasted ten seconds or ten minutes, but the wrongness of it all hit Jensen. Hard.
Despite the calling inside of him, the way the Power in him was reacting to Jared, Jensen broke the spell. He stepped away quickly, taking in a deep breath and turning his back to Jared. His heart was thundering in his ears, heat rising to his face, and he wanted to kick himself.
Behind him, Jared was breathing somewhat heavily, and Jensen felt horrible. This was low of him, he didn't want to do this to Jared. It didn't matter how he felt about the kid, or how strongly that feeling was -- this was just wrong. He was Jared's Protector, he wasn't supposed to take advantage of Jared like this.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly.
"Jensen --"
"I can't." He closed his eyes, hating the way his body reacted to the the way it sounded when Jared said his name. "This isn't right."
When Jared spoke again, he sounded almost angry, defensive. "Because we're both guys?"
"No!" Jensen turned to him quickly. "No, Jared -- there's no problem with that."
"Well why then?" Jared's face was red, and his expression was mixed. Jensen had always been rather good at reading people, but sometimes Jared was such a damn enigma.
"You're so much younger than I," Jensen said slowly.
"Only because you're ageless!" Jared exclaimed.
"I've known you your whole life," Jensen said. "Since you were a child."
"I'm not a kid anymore." Jared all but pushed his chin out.
"That doesn't make it any easier on me," Jensen said, realizing how pleading his tone sounded. "I just don't think your real mother --"
"I don't care," Jared said, shaking his head. "This might not be what she'd had in mind, but she obviously liked you, trusted you -- she'd want the both of us to be happy."
Jensen wished he could make Jared see things through his eyes. It was hard to explain, especially with the way Jared was looking at him. The kid was hurt and offended, without question stung at Jensen's reaction. It was like a physical pain to Jensen to see that.
"Jared --" he started.
"You don't like me?" Jared's voice cracked.
Jensen's chest tightened in a way he wasn't used to, and not thinking, he took a step towards Jared again. "No -- that's not it," he said softly, "Not at all."
Jared lowered his gaze, blinking a few times as he bit his lower lip. Jensen fought the urge to reach up and touch Jared's face, shoving his hands into his pockets instead.
"It's just that I really like you." Jared was shy again, all of his former irritation replaced with his normal timidity.
Jensen wanted to pull Jared into his arms, but he turned away again. He slowly crossed the room so that he could close the door, even though he was sure Christian had heard enough already. He then sat down on his bed, keeping his back to Jared.
He looked down at his hands in his lap, and after a long moment of thought, he sighed. "I like you too, Jared," he said, feeling that the word 'like' was way too meaningless in this situation. "Believe me."
A few minutes felt like a few hours, and Jared came to sit next to Jensen. "I'm sorry," he said, still chewing on his lip. "I know I shouldn't have done that. I don't want to do anything to mess up our friendship."
Jensen paused, then turned his whole body slightly to face the kid, who looked up in confusion.
"Read my mind, Jared."
"What?" He was incredulous.
Jensen grabbed Jared's right hand, pulling it up to his own forehead -- Jared's hand was warm and comforting. Soon he wouldn't need physical contact for this, but Jensen knew it was easier this way.
"I want you to read my mind," Jensen said. He gave a dry little smile. "I'm no good with words, but you need to know."
"I can't -- I don't know how --"
"Yes you do," Jensen said. "I know you can."
Jared's brow furrowed, but when Jensen nodded, Jared closed his eyes. It took a little while, but Jensen was patient, and soon that unforgettable feeling slowly slipped into his mind. He didn't try to hide what he was thinking, didn't try to mask it or cover it up with something inane -- he let it all hang out. He let Jared see the things that were always running through his mind.
He knew when Jared had gotten a clear view of it all -- his mouth fell open slightly, he was surprised.
"It's always like this," Jensen said.
Jared pulled his hand away while his other went to his temple, massaging it lightly. Jensen tried not to jump to conclusions, telling himself it was just a little headache and that there was nothing wrong with Jared. He opened his mouth to ask if Jared wanted that aspirin now, but Jared shook his head before he could get it out.
"I'm fine," Jared said, dropping his hand. He quirked a brow at Jensen. "You think about me a lot?" he asked, sounding a little like he was in disbelief.
"All the time," Jensen admitted, embarrassed. He gave an uncomfortable smirk. "No matter how hard I try, I can't get you to leave me alone, you know."
As Jared looked away, his cheeks turned an endearing shade of magenta again. "Really?"
"You sound...satisfied," Jensen said, raising his eyebrows.
Jared laughed, his breath leaving him in a bark of sorts, his shoulders sagging in relief it seemed, and Jensen smiled, his own worry disappearing. Jared side-glanced him, aimlessly licking his lips as he thought, and he shrugged his shoulders.
"It's nice to know I'm not the only one with that problem," he said. Jokingly, he pretended to roll his eyes. "You think you could leave me in peace when I'm supposed to be doing my schoolwork?"
And just like that, things were suddenly fine.
The Power shifted inside of Jensen slightly, pulling towards Jared, and Jensen threw away all of the doubt, all of the conflicting feeling he'd been dealing with. He'd been alone for a long time -- what if Jared was what he needed? What if it was his purpose in life to not only protect Jared, but to love him and to get the same in return?
He didn't care anymore, he didn't care about how wrong this was. The honesty in Jared's eyes gave him all the reassurance he needed -- this couldn't be all bad.
He reached up and brushed his fingertips over one of Jared's cheeks, tracing the bone lightly. Jared's eyes widened a little, his breath catching in his throat, and after a moment, he leaned into Jensen's touch. Hesitating, Jensen moved in, and as Jared's eyes fluttered closed in anticipation, he kissed Jared, allowing the fire to sweep through his body once more.
NEXT.
Fandom: RPS - Actors
Pairing: Jensen Ackles / Jared Padalecki
Rating: NC17 (overall)
Warnings: AU, language, slash, sexual content, bottom!Jared, violence, character death, crack.
Summary: Ever since he can remember, Jared's had strange dreams, most of them involving a man he's never even met before. But then one day, he finds himself being followed, stalked by the very same mysterious stranger. Much to his disbelief, however, this isn't the worst of his problems -- it's probably the best thing to happen to him ever. Until the trouble starts.
Disclaimer: No harm, no foul.
Words: This Part: 4,814 ; Full Story: 36,107
Note: Sorry for the wait; I'd had most of this chapter already typed up and waiting for me, but I had trouble finishing it. I promised you guys that you'd like this chapter, and I certainly hope I wasn't wrong. ;P
Previous Chapters:
{ MASTERPOST}
DARK LIGHT
s e v e n
"Jared."
The voice that broke into his dreams was soft and familiar, the tone warm. As Jared started to come into consciousness, he took a deep breath and inhaled that wonderful smell he'd already grown quite used to. His name was said again, and as much as he wanted to ignore it, to go back to sleep, he knew better.
His eyes cracked open, and he blinked a few times. Jensen was standing over him, and when Jared looked up at him, the older man gave him a small smile. Swallowing, Jared reached up to rub at his eyes, wondering what time it was, scared that it might be too late.
"I should get you home," Jensen said lightly. "It's half past eight."
Jared spoke before he could stop himself. "I don't want to go home." His voice cracked slightly, as if he hadn't used it in a while, and he cleared his throat a little. "I want to stay here."
A few different expressions passed over Jensen's face, the one to remain being puzzlement. His eyebrows were pinched together, but there was a little smile lingering on his lips still. "Why?" he asked.
Jared's cheeks were heating up before he even answered. "I...like it here," he said. "It's cool being somewhere that actually feels safe." He had to fight to keep from adding that the main reason was because he liked being around Jensen.
"I can't keep you here forever," Jensen said, playfully throwing Jared's words back at him.
Jared gave a little laugh, and he shifted onto his side, propping himself up on an elbow. He bit at his bottom lip, then raised his eyebrows at Jensen. "Maybe just the night?"
Jensen studied him, then turned away. One of his hands went to the back of his neck, and his voice sounded kind of weird when he replied, strained.
"Would Sharon mind?" he asked.
"Not if I tell her I'm at Chad's," Jared answered. "I used to stay at his place all the time." He paused, then used the tone Megan usually used when she wanted something -- he knew it was wrong, but he was doing it before he could even think about it. "Unless you don't want me to stay..."
"No," Jensen said quickly, turning back to him, his green eyes slightly wider. "I mean, I don't -- I don't mind."
"It's not like I want to put you out or anything either," Jared added. "I'll sleep on the floor --"
"You certainly will not," Jensen said. He swallowed, then his gaze softened slightly. "Of course you can stay here. I'll grab Christian's phone for you."
When he left the room, Jensen seemed kind of flustered, and Jared had another moment of strange smugness. He sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed, and he combed the fingers of his right hand through his hair, flattening it against his head.
Energy swelled inside of him; it felt like the Power (for he'd learned that's how it was to be referred to) was greeting him. It was nice, of course, almost as if he was reuniting with an old friend, even though they hadn't really been apart.
He glanced towards the door, then let his eyes fall closed. He knew what Jensen had said about meditating again, but what could a few seconds hurt? He definitely felt revived after his little nap, so it wasn't like he was too drained for it or anything.
He tapped into the Power, and warm comfort flooded his body. He didn't want to get too deep into it, of course, if Jensen was going to be returning any moment, but it was a good feeling to have the Power thrum in his veins for just a little bit.
When Jensen returned, he felt it rather than heard it, felt the arrival of more energy, another body of Power. But he felt something else too, something that kind of confused him. Some kind of emotion was rolling off of that second body of Power in waves, something that felt like...affection? Was that right? Why would Jensen feel that way, and how could Jared know that?
"What are you doing?"
Jared made himself open his eyes, and he looked up at Jensen, who was standing in the doorway. He studied Jared's expression, and Jared tried to keep it casual, though he was still kind of confused about what he'd felt.
"Nothing," he answered. "Still trying to wake up." For good measure, he added, "Meditation was a lot more draining than I thought it would be."
This answer seemed to please Jensen, and he entered the room fully, holding out a cordless phone. "You okay?" he asked, and as Jared took the phone, Jensen crossed his arms.
Jared nodded quickly, tossing the older man a reassuring smile. He looked down at the phone, but he paused.
"Can I ask you something? About our...bond?"
Jensen shrugged his shoulders. "Sure."
"When you said we were connected," Jared started, "You mentioned that you could feel what I was feeling. Is it like...possible for me to feel what you feel too?"
Jensen shifted on his feet, lowering his gaze, and he seemed kind of flustered again. "Yes," he answered. "If you wanted to."
"How?" Jared asked. "How do you do it?"
"You would reach out with your mind," Jensen explained. "Focus on me and on how I feel. It's a lot easier than you'd think."
"How do I feel?" Jared asked. "Tell me; I just want to see how it works."
Jensen paused, then took a deep breath. His eyes fluttered closed for a moment, and his brow furrowed, his head cocking slightly. "Curious," he said, "And you feel comfortable, yet still a bit shy. You're hopeful of something -- what?"
It was kind of weird -- Jared hadn't felt a thing, yet Jensen had gotten all of his uppermost feelings nailed. It definitely wasn't like getting your mind read, and he was a little surprised. At Jensen's question though, he shrugged his shoulders. He had no clue what he was hopeful of, must've been a subconscious thing.
"I don't know," he answered. "I didn't even know I was feeling it."
Despite his earlier nervousness, Jensen smiled. He gestured to the phone. "Better call Sharon before it gets too late," he said. "I'll be back."
Jared watched as Jensen left the room again, and he glanced down at the phone as he started to dial. Sharon answered after two rings, and it wouldn't have surprised him if she'd been sitting at the phone all day waiting for him.
"Hey Mom," he said. "Sorry I didn't call earlier."
"That's okay, hon," she said. "Where are you?"
"Chad's," Jared answered. "I was starting to fall asleep, figured I'd give you a call and let you know I'm just gonna stay here for the night."
"Oh...okay," Sharon said. "Are you sure? I could come pick you up."
"I'm sure," he said. "We're just playing some games and stuff. I'll have him drop me off tomorrow morning or something."
"Well, okay. Just as long as you're back for your appointment with Dr. Morgan."
"Sure thing, Mom," he said. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Call me if you need anything," she threw in quickly.
"Uh huh, love you." He hung up.
He glanced towards the door again, and he was glad Jensen hadn't come back yet. He closed his eyes, seeking Jensen out with his mind and attempting to focus on his emotions, like Jensen had said. Curiosity killed the cat, he knew, but sometimes the cat just couldn't help himself.
He felt a wide range of emotions, it was so strong it was almost like a hit to the face. First there was trepidation and nervousness, then struggle. Wonder followed by attraction, which then brought conflict. And then there was love. It was so powerful that Jared couldn't stand to feel it any longer, and his eyes snapped open on their own accord, the Power still buzzing in him, as if confused at how fast it'd ended.
Jensen was feeling all that?
Jared was a little worried about all the inner turmoil Jensen seemed to be dealing with, but the two emotions that had stood out the most were the attraction and love. Jared's cheeks heated up, a warmth traveling through him at the way those feelings had radiated from his guardian.
He didn't want to get his hopes up or anything, but he had a small hunch that Jensen felt those things about him. He realized that that was what he'd been hopeful of -- he'd been hoping that that first burst of affection he'd felt from Jensen had been intended for him.
But love? Did Jensen love Jared? Was it merely platonic? A paternal love? Was it more than that? It was hard to imagine, but not entirely impossible, Jared supposed.
Or was he overreacting? Reading too far into this?
Footsteps in the hallway announced Jensen's return, and Jared stood up just as the older man entered the room. Jensen glanced at him, but Jared had already put on his poker face.
"What'd she say?" Jensen asked.
"What I thought she'd say," Jared answered with a shrug. "She doesn't mind."
He held the phone out, and as Jensen reached forward to take it, their fingers brushed. Heat raced up Jared's whole arm, and at the way Jensen's body stiffened, he knew the older man had felt it too. Jared couldn't enjoy this knowledge though, because at that moment Jensen stepped away like he'd been burned. That actually kind of stung a bit.
"Are you hungry?" Jensen asked quietly, looking down at his hands as he turned the phone over in them.
"Something about me you should always know," Jared said slowly, trying not to let his disappointment show, "I'm always hungry."
Jensen smiled one of his rare smiles, and Jared felt a little better about what'd happened.
"Do you want to order something?" Jensen asked. "Go somewhere?"
Jared paused thoughtfully. He didn't really feel like leaving, but as safe as this place was, it was also quite small. "Let's go somewhere," he said. "You can choose."
As they were leaving the shop, Jared couldn't help but feel a little giddy inside. It was dumb of him, he knew, but this could've been considered a first date. He side-glanced Jensen as they walked, maybe hoping for once he'd be able to read the older man's face. He couldn't of course, and he sighed noticeably.
* * *
"What? No twenty questions tonight?"
Jensen and Jared had ended up at a fast food joint, though it'd been Jared to make the final decision. They were sitting across from each other in the small restaurant, and Jensen was smirking at him, one of his eyebrows raised.
Jared lowered his gaze, shrugging one of his shoulders. The only questions he really had on his mind were a bit personal, and he didn't think Jensen would appreciate them.
"I don't know," he said. "It's not really a questions kind of moment."
"But you still have them," Jensen said.
"Of course," Jared gave a little smile of his own.
"You should ask them," Jensen said. "Unless you'd rather us sit in silence and stare awkwardly at each other all night."
"This is awkward for you?" Jared asked, kind of surprised. He was feeling quite comfortable -- he always felt that way with Jensen.
"You always make me feel awkward." The look on Jensen's face said that he clearly hadn't meant to say that, but he didn't try to take it back or anything.
Jared didn't know what to make of the comment, much less what to say. "If it makes you feel any better," he tried, "I don't do it intentionally."
Jensen smiled at him, but dropped his gaze.
There was a long pause. "Okay, here's a question," Jared said, sitting up in his chair a little more so that he could lean over the table slightly. He lowered his voice just a bit. "How is the shop safe like it is? What kind of...magic is Christian doing if he isn't exactly, you know... Is he strong enough for that?"
Jensen seemed glad to be on a different topic, and he relaxed. "Believe it or not," he said, "What Chris did has nothing to do with the Power."
"Really?"
A couple passed their table, and Jensen waited. Then he leaned in a little closer as well, so close that Jared was half-tempted to try and count his freckles.
"It's the small-time stuff," the older man answered. "Rituals, spells -- stuff anyone who shops there could probably do. It's just...enhanced because of the Power that ran through his family, the small bit that runs through him."
"Well how does it work?" Jared asked.
Jensen's gaze locked on Jared's, but he didn't respond right away, almost as if he was deciding the right way to answer. He looked down at the table before he spoke.
"It cleanses the area, protects it from evil." He sighed lightly. "The fact that you haven't had your mind read today just proves that whoever's doing it means you harm." He made a noise in the back of his throat, maybe it was a scoff of sorts. "If it was, as you said, some random person with the ability just looking into random minds out of boredom, then Christian's 'trick' would do nothing against it."
Well that certainly sent a chill down Jared's spine. He blinked a few times, relaxing back in his chair, and Jensen studied him, his eyes searching his face intently.
"Or maybe they just haven't had a chance to try today," Jared said slowly, though he honestly didn't believe that.
Jensen sighed again, reaching up to rub at his face. "Jared," he said, "Why are you making excuses for this person? You need to take this seriously, you need to not be so damn naïve."
"I'm not making excuses," Jared argued, "And I'm not being naïve. It's just that --" he caught himself, then shook his head. "Nevermind."
"No, what?" Jensen asked. "What were you going to say?"
Jared paused, and as he looked down at the table, he could feel heat creep up his neck. "It's just that I know you'll never let anything happen to me," he said. He made himself meet Jensen's gaze. "I trust you with everything in me." He meant it whole-heartedly.
Jensen's eyes softened, his features going into one of his famous unreadable expressions. He looked almost surprised, and his mouth started to open, but closed again. Jared wanted to say something else, maybe something to lighten the mood, but he didn't know what would work. He chewed on his bottom lip, picking at the chipped table top -- now things felt kind of awkward.
"I told Chris I'd bring him something," Jensen said shortly, standing up.
Jared watched him walk to the front counter, and he gave a little sigh, looking around. After a quick moment of contemplation, he closed his eyes and focused only on Jensen. The Power felt like it was raring to go, ready for anything -- so Jared tried to read Jensen's emotions again.
First he felt bewilderment, then a sense of doubt. He was starting to feel something that could've been chagrin, but there was a sudden sharp pain to his right temple.
He took in a quick breath, one of his hands going quickly to his forehead, and he let go of the Power immediately -- it seemed to fold in on itself, almost guiltily. The pain lessened to a dull throb pretty much instantly, and he massaged his temple lightly, cursing under his breath. Was this what Jensen had meant when he'd said Jared could hurt himself?
"What's wrong?"
Jared glanced up -- Jensen was standing next to the table, brow furrowed and a bag of food in one of his hands. Jared quickly dropped his arm, and he tried to ignore the slow pain.
"Just a small headache," he answered. "Does Christian have any aspirin?"
Jensen nodded, but he didn't say anything -- he stared hard at Jared for a long moment, as if he were trying to figure him out. Jared was almost feeling a bit nervous, it was a childish kind of fear, the fear of getting caught doing something you know you're not supposed to.
Finally, Jensen asked, "You ready?"
Instead of answering, Jared stood and started gathering his trash. His head didn't feel like it was going to stop hurting anytime soon, and the Power was still humming inside of him, like it was begging him to use it.
Jensen had told him that some found the Power like a drug, strongly addicting. Jared made a quick vow to himself as they were leaving the restaurant -- he was never going to lose control.
Especially if it would cause him such nasty headaches.
* * *
"So where are you going to sleep?"
They were climbing the stairs of the Turning Wheel, after having entered through the back door and relocking up for the night. Christian wasn't around, so Jared assumed he was in his own room.
"There's a couch in Chris' room," Jensen answered casually.
Jared glanced over his shoulder at the older man, feeling bad. "I can sleep there," he said quickly.
"I don't mind, Jared." Jensen passed him a little smirk as they stopped in the hallway, turning to each other.
"Well I do," Jared said. "I asked to stay here even though I know how small this place is. Talk about incredibly rude."
"It's fine," Jensen tried to assure him. "And besides, Christian's a talker -- he'll keep you up all night."
"I just don't want to make you give up your bed." Jared couldn't let it go.
Jensen started to say something, though his voice was too low for Jared to hear, but he changed his mind and turned to walk away. Jared hesitated.
"Tell me," he said.
Jensen turned back to him. "I was going to say that my bed is the very least of the things I would give up for you."
Without waiting for a response, he went to Christian's closed door, knocking on it lightly. Jared felt himself blush, not at Jensen's words, but the way he'd said them, and he slipped into Jensen's room. He made his way slowly to the bookshelf, running his fingers through his hair as he gazed over the large collection his guardian had working. Most of the books didn't have titles, but in all reality, he didn't care. He was too busy trying to figure out how he felt for Jensen.
He knew whatever it was he felt for him was growing fast, and he knew it was strong -- whether or not it was the bond, Jared didn't know. He hadn't had much luck in this department of life, but he was almost sure that this is what was called sexual tension. Whenever he was around Jensen the air just seemed to crack with it.
He just wished he could know if Jensen felt it too. Maybe there was just something wrong with Jared, it was an unnatural side-effect of the awakening of his powers or something.
The older man came back to the room, entering it slowly, but his footsteps stopped. Jared barely glanced over his shoulder to find Jensen standing just inside the doorway, his hands in his pockets, and his gaze on Jared.
"What are you thinking about?" he asked.
Jared shook his head, turning back to the books. "Nothing important," he said. He obviously couldn't tell Jensen that he was thinking about how bad he wanted to kiss him, just to see what it was like -- just knowing that he was thinking about it was making his cheeks burn.
"I'm sorry," Jensen said. He cleared his throat, letting out a nervous-sounding chuckle. "I -- ah, I was a little moody earlier, wasn't I?"
Jared smirked, then shook his head, keeping his back to Jensen. "I'm used to it," he said playfully.
He heard Jensen move again, and felt him approach. His stomach twisted up slightly as Jensen stopped beside him, and Jared wished he was just a little more brave, wished he could be cool about this.
"Are you feeling okay?" Jensen asked, no falseness to his concern.
Jared nodded quickly. Truth was, he was feeling kind of breathless, kind of nauseous. He supposed it showed; he was practically sweating bullets.
"Did you want that aspirin?" Jensen asked next.
Jared shook his head, and a silence settled over them like a blanket. His head hadn't actually stopped hurting, but it wasn't so important to him anymore, especially since he figured aspirin wouldn't help a Power-related headache.
Their gazes met and locked, and this was one of those rare times that Jared felt uncomfortable with Jensen. He swallowed against his dry throat, wanting to say something, but finding he was at a loss, yet again.
"Jared --"
It was as if something else had suddenly taken over his body, he didn't know what had come over him, but with a sudden stroke of courage, Jared leaned forward and cut Jensen's words off by pressing his lips to the older man's. Just the contact made sparks fly through Jared's body -- inside of him, the Power's buzz intensified.
He didn't know if this was a mistake or not, but at the moment, he didn't particularly care.
* * *
Fire engulfed Jensen's entire body, his heart starting to beat faster, and he felt like the room had started spinning. Jared's lips were soft and sweet, brushing over his own and resting there -- as if he were too nervous to go on, obviously it was his first time. Any and all stress left Jensen for the moment, and everything was right in the world.
The kiss could've lasted ten seconds or ten minutes, but the wrongness of it all hit Jensen. Hard.
Despite the calling inside of him, the way the Power in him was reacting to Jared, Jensen broke the spell. He stepped away quickly, taking in a deep breath and turning his back to Jared. His heart was thundering in his ears, heat rising to his face, and he wanted to kick himself.
Behind him, Jared was breathing somewhat heavily, and Jensen felt horrible. This was low of him, he didn't want to do this to Jared. It didn't matter how he felt about the kid, or how strongly that feeling was -- this was just wrong. He was Jared's Protector, he wasn't supposed to take advantage of Jared like this.
"I'm sorry," he said quietly.
"Jensen --"
"I can't." He closed his eyes, hating the way his body reacted to the the way it sounded when Jared said his name. "This isn't right."
When Jared spoke again, he sounded almost angry, defensive. "Because we're both guys?"
"No!" Jensen turned to him quickly. "No, Jared -- there's no problem with that."
"Well why then?" Jared's face was red, and his expression was mixed. Jensen had always been rather good at reading people, but sometimes Jared was such a damn enigma.
"You're so much younger than I," Jensen said slowly.
"Only because you're ageless!" Jared exclaimed.
"I've known you your whole life," Jensen said. "Since you were a child."
"I'm not a kid anymore." Jared all but pushed his chin out.
"That doesn't make it any easier on me," Jensen said, realizing how pleading his tone sounded. "I just don't think your real mother --"
"I don't care," Jared said, shaking his head. "This might not be what she'd had in mind, but she obviously liked you, trusted you -- she'd want the both of us to be happy."
Jensen wished he could make Jared see things through his eyes. It was hard to explain, especially with the way Jared was looking at him. The kid was hurt and offended, without question stung at Jensen's reaction. It was like a physical pain to Jensen to see that.
"Jared --" he started.
"You don't like me?" Jared's voice cracked.
Jensen's chest tightened in a way he wasn't used to, and not thinking, he took a step towards Jared again. "No -- that's not it," he said softly, "Not at all."
Jared lowered his gaze, blinking a few times as he bit his lower lip. Jensen fought the urge to reach up and touch Jared's face, shoving his hands into his pockets instead.
"It's just that I really like you." Jared was shy again, all of his former irritation replaced with his normal timidity.
Jensen wanted to pull Jared into his arms, but he turned away again. He slowly crossed the room so that he could close the door, even though he was sure Christian had heard enough already. He then sat down on his bed, keeping his back to Jared.
He looked down at his hands in his lap, and after a long moment of thought, he sighed. "I like you too, Jared," he said, feeling that the word 'like' was way too meaningless in this situation. "Believe me."
A few minutes felt like a few hours, and Jared came to sit next to Jensen. "I'm sorry," he said, still chewing on his lip. "I know I shouldn't have done that. I don't want to do anything to mess up our friendship."
Jensen paused, then turned his whole body slightly to face the kid, who looked up in confusion.
"Read my mind, Jared."
"What?" He was incredulous.
Jensen grabbed Jared's right hand, pulling it up to his own forehead -- Jared's hand was warm and comforting. Soon he wouldn't need physical contact for this, but Jensen knew it was easier this way.
"I want you to read my mind," Jensen said. He gave a dry little smile. "I'm no good with words, but you need to know."
"I can't -- I don't know how --"
"Yes you do," Jensen said. "I know you can."
Jared's brow furrowed, but when Jensen nodded, Jared closed his eyes. It took a little while, but Jensen was patient, and soon that unforgettable feeling slowly slipped into his mind. He didn't try to hide what he was thinking, didn't try to mask it or cover it up with something inane -- he let it all hang out. He let Jared see the things that were always running through his mind.
He knew when Jared had gotten a clear view of it all -- his mouth fell open slightly, he was surprised.
"It's always like this," Jensen said.
Jared pulled his hand away while his other went to his temple, massaging it lightly. Jensen tried not to jump to conclusions, telling himself it was just a little headache and that there was nothing wrong with Jared. He opened his mouth to ask if Jared wanted that aspirin now, but Jared shook his head before he could get it out.
"I'm fine," Jared said, dropping his hand. He quirked a brow at Jensen. "You think about me a lot?" he asked, sounding a little like he was in disbelief.
"All the time," Jensen admitted, embarrassed. He gave an uncomfortable smirk. "No matter how hard I try, I can't get you to leave me alone, you know."
As Jared looked away, his cheeks turned an endearing shade of magenta again. "Really?"
"You sound...satisfied," Jensen said, raising his eyebrows.
Jared laughed, his breath leaving him in a bark of sorts, his shoulders sagging in relief it seemed, and Jensen smiled, his own worry disappearing. Jared side-glanced him, aimlessly licking his lips as he thought, and he shrugged his shoulders.
"It's nice to know I'm not the only one with that problem," he said. Jokingly, he pretended to roll his eyes. "You think you could leave me in peace when I'm supposed to be doing my schoolwork?"
And just like that, things were suddenly fine.
The Power shifted inside of Jensen slightly, pulling towards Jared, and Jensen threw away all of the doubt, all of the conflicting feeling he'd been dealing with. He'd been alone for a long time -- what if Jared was what he needed? What if it was his purpose in life to not only protect Jared, but to love him and to get the same in return?
He didn't care anymore, he didn't care about how wrong this was. The honesty in Jared's eyes gave him all the reassurance he needed -- this couldn't be all bad.
He reached up and brushed his fingertips over one of Jared's cheeks, tracing the bone lightly. Jared's eyes widened a little, his breath catching in his throat, and after a moment, he leaned into Jensen's touch. Hesitating, Jensen moved in, and as Jared's eyes fluttered closed in anticipation, he kissed Jared, allowing the fire to sweep through his body once more.
NEXT.