So I have recently found out a lot of things...

[the__jester]

I know I said I would never write on here again, but you know.. if I vent anywhere else, people will see and I will probably get bitched at for no reason as usual. So you see, here is my dilemma, I am stuck in a circle of a bunch of fucking high school bull shit.. Honestly, you figure when people always complain about how they are so mature, and

Comments

[the__jester]

You are welcome, considering when I asked anyone about it, I got shit blown my way.. I have never told your mom shit that you asked me to keep quiet, and so fucking what if I get mad at you, time goes by and life moves on, big fucking deal.. You want to act like a big girl, then be a big girl, stop asking people to cover for your mistakes.. You know what, I wouldn't cover for shit, if it meant that it would ruin my life instead of theirs, it depends on how good my life is at that time, and if I gave a shit if it got ruined.. I am sorry if I am apparently not up to your brother standards, but if you children would stop trying to act like adults, and just accept responsibility for your actions, and quit lying to people then none of this shit would happen.. I do love you to death, and I have given you no reason to get pissed at me. And yes I am stuck in it, because one Chase is my best friend, and anything that happens to you or Katie, or him automatically get's passed through my ears, I keep my mouth shut.. I may ask a question here or there about what happened, but I don't choose sides unless I am put in a situation where there is no other choice.. then when my personal life seems to be invaded, by someone telling my girlfriend something, and then making her swear not to tell me.. well yeah, when I asked her what she knew, she didn't tell me.. I dropped it there, she said Katie said that she couldn't tell me.. right then I knew that it was you who smoked the cigarette, because of the whole Texas shit that you pulled.. I have had that assumption ever since Katie flipped out on me about Chase(which at that time I had no fucking clue what she was talking about until today...)

So before you go saying I stir shit up, why don't you stop and think before you let others take actions in order to protect you, and ruin both of your lives, because you know what.. Mom could have easily been like "Katie, you smoked in my house, in my daughters room, and I don't fucking like it.. never show your face in this house again" Just like she threatened to do to me like a year ago.. When I have showed nothing but respect for Mom and Dad, they are my 2nd parents, and I will continue to treat them with the utmost respect even though I don't agree with how this situation played out, I mean I understand that it was you, and that she was covering for you, but if it had been me to smoke in your house, or to offer any of you a cigarette, or pot, or anything I gurantee the situation would have been treated a lot more critical by Mom and Dad.. they love me, yeah, but I can buy cigarettes, and I have family who can get me pot, and alcohol.. but I don't do those things, and Mom apparently at that time thought I did, cause that's what she told Chase..

So you know, sorry that you and Katie took that the wrong way, but it was my venting, that had nothing to do with you two as my friends, other than the whole thing where you know "We thought you would be pissed if you knew" well yeah, but that's just cause you only have one chance to make it in life, and if you fuck that up, there is no going back and being like "Well at this time I will choose not to smoke unlike before where I did" I mean yeah, there is time for fun, and what not.. but I just worry about you kids, cause of a lot of the things you are going to get into within the next few years, and if you fuck up your life, you are going to make a lot of people wonder "What if I had tried harder to stop her?" There just isn't that time, and I am sorry that I don't live up to the blessings of your love Amber, but what you see as me showing you just how much Chase and I are alike, just goes to prove that you took the worse parts of what I said, and put them into literal meaning.. That is how I write when I feel a little vandalized by my friendships..

[xmonkeyxlovex]

I didnt ask katie in the first place to take the blame, she told me that she was, so then i realized that if i go ahead and tell chase that i did, he would just use that against me as blackmail and i hate that shit, he gets mad at me for no reasons at times and he will use that blackmail whenever he feels like it, but once he started saying shit that didnt need to be said about katie it really pissed me off, and so finally i had had enough of all of this, this really all could have been avoided. Paul, you know i say a lot of things that i dont mean when im really pissed, im sorry that i compared you to chase. You know how i feel about him and you. But what im not sorry about is the stuff i said about chase. I have told you how i feel, and now i am finally going to COMPLETLY stand up for myself, matt told me to relax and calm down, no, not this time. Im tired of all of this shit, im tired of being yelledat for no reason at all. Im just sick and tired. This is all stupid if you really think about it, i mean really. Im sorry if i said anything that really offended you. Really i am.