completely wasted away.
i'm so fucking tired of this. every holiday turns out to be one of the worst days of my life.
i feel like all i've been doing is busting my ass. trying to make money, trying to get my license, trying to do decent in school- trying to make things fucking work. i'm so tired of the position i'm in, and i'm so sick of this life. i keep pushing and i just don't seem to be getting anything in return. i feel so useless. and so fucking invisible. it's just funny how everyone i care about tries to bring me down, when all i want is some support. and some fucking understanding.
nobody has a heart anymore. i'm convinced. and nobody has a fucking ounce of empathy or compassion. i'm so fucking done.
i can FEEL everything slip away.
i don't know where i am anymore. in anything. i don't know where i'll be in five years or what i'll be, or if i'll even be in anything at all. but i can't believe how disrespected i've been lately, and i won't fucking have it. i fucking despise it. it's so wrong. i'm a good fucking person, and that's one thing that i'll say about myself confidently. i may not think much of myself, but i know that i KNOW HOW to love and care for someone or something unconditionally; friends. family. you name it. and i'm just so tired of being treated this way. it's really taking a toll on me now more than ever.
i will never waste years out of my life on a fucking tarnished piece of nothing ever again, and i'll never try to make plans with friends or do something special with a family member. i'll never push myself more than i need to, and i will never go out of my way. not for awhile. not until i know i'm being somewhat respected.
i'm well aware of the things i dont deserve, but i'm still concious of the things i do. i'm not getting any of it. and i've never felt lower in my whole life. all i can do is cry, like a pathetic little fucking child. i've honestly never felt so voulnerable. i'm usually so good at hiding my feelings. i guess i've lost my touch, just like i have with everything else.
it really doesn't matter anymore.
i feel like all i've been doing is busting my ass. trying to make money, trying to get my license, trying to do decent in school- trying to make things fucking work. i'm so tired of the position i'm in, and i'm so sick of this life. i keep pushing and i just don't seem to be getting anything in return. i feel so useless. and so fucking invisible. it's just funny how everyone i care about tries to bring me down, when all i want is some support. and some fucking understanding.
nobody has a heart anymore. i'm convinced. and nobody has a fucking ounce of empathy or compassion. i'm so fucking done.
i can FEEL everything slip away.
i don't know where i am anymore. in anything. i don't know where i'll be in five years or what i'll be, or if i'll even be in anything at all. but i can't believe how disrespected i've been lately, and i won't fucking have it. i fucking despise it. it's so wrong. i'm a good fucking person, and that's one thing that i'll say about myself confidently. i may not think much of myself, but i know that i KNOW HOW to love and care for someone or something unconditionally; friends. family. you name it. and i'm just so tired of being treated this way. it's really taking a toll on me now more than ever.
i will never waste years out of my life on a fucking tarnished piece of nothing ever again, and i'll never try to make plans with friends or do something special with a family member. i'll never push myself more than i need to, and i will never go out of my way. not for awhile. not until i know i'm being somewhat respected.
i'm well aware of the things i dont deserve, but i'm still concious of the things i do. i'm not getting any of it. and i've never felt lower in my whole life. all i can do is cry, like a pathetic little fucking child. i've honestly never felt so voulnerable. i'm usually so good at hiding my feelings. i guess i've lost my touch, just like i have with everything else.
it really doesn't matter anymore.