Wowwee!
It's been a few years since I have been on LJ, and I have some current things that I would just like to ramble about. I was in my first serious relationship with a woman (yes, I am bi-sexual), and it was so emotionally crazy. Not really on my part, I did love her, had amazing sex, and was with her for over a year until just very recently. I couldn't stand anymore emotional and mental abuse, and have learned to recognize the signs or flags, after going through some therapy, and refreshing myself on the topic. It doesn't matter who I date, I now know what I can, and cannot accept. I feel like I should be balling my eyes out, and have at times, since I am the one who chose to end the relationship, it has been hard, but not as hard as I thought it was going to be when I finally got to the point where I have cut off all contact with this person. Yes, I am a little lonely, and had been trying to break up for a couple of weeks. I think basically just the loneliness kept drawing me back into the situation more than a few times. When I had finally had enough, I had enough. I blocked her from Face Book, and took the big step of blocking her telephone number so that I would no longer receive abusive texts. And believe me, there were plenty, and the service shows me when it blocks a call, and I can also see how many texts have been sent. I still have a twinge or soft spot in my heart for her, but as my therapist said, when the thought of dealing with the pain of being with that person is more than the love you have for them, you will let go. And I have. I no longer want to deal with her and her roommate's family's drama, or the emotional or mental abuse and unnecessary jealousy and her version of honesty. Not to get into all of the things that have gone on, but it was her first time being with a woman, and that may have contributed, may not have, at this point I don't know or care. Before, pretty much 90% of my time was dealing with her crap, and I lost a few friends and family along the way, but I am trying to move on. Now I have all this excellent free time to get things done finally in my new apartment, and in other areas of my life. Now how's that for honesty? :)