springed
You guys, I'm so happy lately and I don't know why. I can't comprehend it, and frankly, I'm afraid to ask too many questions of it. I just feel like I'm in a good spot in life, celebrating what's good and simply accepting what's bad. I can't understand why people worry and complain so much. I can't understand how people can just sit around all day: wake up, go to work, go to a restaurant, watch TV, go to bed. I'm almost seriously considering just quitting my job in a few weeks because I don't want to have to deal with feeling like I have to work full time in an office all my free time this summer. Maybe I'll go in for an afternoon here and there. But I'll probably never get anywhere near full time.
I ran across something purported as being a "Navajo prayer" on the Internet tonight:Beauty is before me
And beauty is behind me
Above and below me hovers the beautiful
I am surrounded by it
In my youth I am aware of it
And in old age I shall walk quietly
The beautiful trail!
I'm seeing beauty everywhere lately. I just want to dance and celebrate! But being here in Council Bluffs I haven't had as much of an opportunity to do that as I would like: I seem to be confined mostly to cars, houses, and stores as everyday life flows on here. Soon I will be back in Iowa City, I will walk all over the place, I will make plants grow, I will play music. And it will be delicious.
Today at Cara's graduation party I went out back and bounced on the trampoline with all the little kids. Their laughter and joy just made me so happy. I used to not like little kids much, and I don't know why, but suddenly I absolutely love them. Cara's little two-year-old cousin was just so fun (not that I had much chance for interaction with her: she was a huge hit among everybody there) and I loved making faces at her and making her laugh so hard.
Also, I learned that Cara's Uncle Fred, a Methodist minister in Ames, knows my paternal grandparents! My grandfather (actually step-grandfather, but I've known him as Grampa Ron my whole life) is a retired Methodist minister in Des Moines, and has been on committees and stuff with Fred. Fred also apparently taught a sex-ed class to junior high kids with my Grandma Ruth Anne. Very strange. And Cara's Aunt Jan and Uncle Whosits have stayed in Schwaebisch-Hall (the town where I'm going to be during August), and Jan talked with me at length about what she calls "cowboy music", which seems to be just old-timey folk music.
Last night Cara and I made a fruit pizza. It was no ordinary fruit pizza: it was piled so high with so much fruit (kiwis, strawberries, raspberries, mangoes, bananas, pineapple, grapes, probably more) that it was almost a mountain of fruit instead of a fruit pizza. It was amazing, and apparently a huge hit at the party today.
Also last night was one of my breakthrough nights with music. But it wasn't anything big; actually it was something really small. I just stopped worrying about what I was doing and stopped trying so hard. The rock'n'roll stuff I had been trying to do was tough, probably too hard, and so I'm probably going to abandon it at least for now. I went back and revisited (and reinvented) a lot of the old folk songs that I still remember (and some I had to refresh on) and felt almost effortless. I had been trying too hard lately without even realizing it.
Another really good thing is school. I got all A's and A-minuses this semester, something I hadn't done since my freshman year of high school. I think it's because I really cared about almost everything I was learning. This is why I like college. I went through and planned courses for me to take over the next couple years, and decided it's totally feasible for me to triple-major in linguistics, Spanish, and German and also earn a music minor, and if I can keep my GPA up I can also move into the five-year combined BA/MA linguistics program.
I'm reminded of Taoism lately. I don't really dig on the whole dogma of organized Taoism, or even making it a ritualized personal religion. But I love the ideologies. Everything just kinda is, and if you don't squint all the time, it's all pretty much the same. Let stuff happen to you when and how it happens, don't try to force it. Everybody and everything is important. Change happens, so just let it happen and don't sweat it. Embrace life and where you are and what is happening. It's nice to relax. I have no idea why I'm so relaxed these days, but I like it, and as I said earlier, I'm definitely not going to question it.
I ran across something purported as being a "Navajo prayer" on the Internet tonight:Beauty is before me
And beauty is behind me
Above and below me hovers the beautiful
I am surrounded by it
In my youth I am aware of it
And in old age I shall walk quietly
The beautiful trail!
I'm seeing beauty everywhere lately. I just want to dance and celebrate! But being here in Council Bluffs I haven't had as much of an opportunity to do that as I would like: I seem to be confined mostly to cars, houses, and stores as everyday life flows on here. Soon I will be back in Iowa City, I will walk all over the place, I will make plants grow, I will play music. And it will be delicious.
Today at Cara's graduation party I went out back and bounced on the trampoline with all the little kids. Their laughter and joy just made me so happy. I used to not like little kids much, and I don't know why, but suddenly I absolutely love them. Cara's little two-year-old cousin was just so fun (not that I had much chance for interaction with her: she was a huge hit among everybody there) and I loved making faces at her and making her laugh so hard.
Also, I learned that Cara's Uncle Fred, a Methodist minister in Ames, knows my paternal grandparents! My grandfather (actually step-grandfather, but I've known him as Grampa Ron my whole life) is a retired Methodist minister in Des Moines, and has been on committees and stuff with Fred. Fred also apparently taught a sex-ed class to junior high kids with my Grandma Ruth Anne. Very strange. And Cara's Aunt Jan and Uncle Whosits have stayed in Schwaebisch-Hall (the town where I'm going to be during August), and Jan talked with me at length about what she calls "cowboy music", which seems to be just old-timey folk music.
Last night Cara and I made a fruit pizza. It was no ordinary fruit pizza: it was piled so high with so much fruit (kiwis, strawberries, raspberries, mangoes, bananas, pineapple, grapes, probably more) that it was almost a mountain of fruit instead of a fruit pizza. It was amazing, and apparently a huge hit at the party today.
Also last night was one of my breakthrough nights with music. But it wasn't anything big; actually it was something really small. I just stopped worrying about what I was doing and stopped trying so hard. The rock'n'roll stuff I had been trying to do was tough, probably too hard, and so I'm probably going to abandon it at least for now. I went back and revisited (and reinvented) a lot of the old folk songs that I still remember (and some I had to refresh on) and felt almost effortless. I had been trying too hard lately without even realizing it.
Another really good thing is school. I got all A's and A-minuses this semester, something I hadn't done since my freshman year of high school. I think it's because I really cared about almost everything I was learning. This is why I like college. I went through and planned courses for me to take over the next couple years, and decided it's totally feasible for me to triple-major in linguistics, Spanish, and German and also earn a music minor, and if I can keep my GPA up I can also move into the five-year combined BA/MA linguistics program.
I'm reminded of Taoism lately. I don't really dig on the whole dogma of organized Taoism, or even making it a ritualized personal religion. But I love the ideologies. Everything just kinda is, and if you don't squint all the time, it's all pretty much the same. Let stuff happen to you when and how it happens, don't try to force it. Everybody and everything is important. Change happens, so just let it happen and don't sweat it. Embrace life and where you are and what is happening. It's nice to relax. I have no idea why I'm so relaxed these days, but I like it, and as I said earlier, I'm definitely not going to question it.