currier lounging
I'm finding myself falling back into old patterns that I used to hate. Specifically, my thoughts of school as a nuisance in my life. It's something I do here and there but most of my life is other things. That doesn't seem like a healthy attitude, especially for being in college when I'm paying for what I'm learning. I pay no attention to school. I get stuff done and get good enough grades and stuff, but I don't try. I put no effort into anything. The only thing I have tried at lately is getting better at guitar. That's seriously all I care about lately. I need to be in classes I want to be in that really interest me. I think the reason I put off all this stuff until right now is because it just doesn't interest me so I didn't want to think about it. Maybe I need to just not be in school for a while and come back when I really want to do it. I need college to be different from high school, and right now it's too similar.
All I want to focus on is my music. Seriously. This is bad. Also, it's interesting how my overall happiness and satisfaction with myself is usually in direct opposition to how successful I'm feeling in what I'm "supposed" to be doing, A.K.A. school. School is such a weird concept to me.
It's four in the morning and I am not feeling coherent or even conscious really. Urgh, Spanish paper and speech.
Um, I went to some restaurant in Kalona tonight/last night with Jeremiah and we played for about twenty people that were there, mostly people he knows, for about two hours and walked away with $35 each. Not bad. Plus everybody watching us (and, more importantly, Jeremiah) seemed to really like my playing. So yeah. And he was talking about arranging a regular practice schedule.
All I want to focus on is my music. Seriously. This is bad. Also, it's interesting how my overall happiness and satisfaction with myself is usually in direct opposition to how successful I'm feeling in what I'm "supposed" to be doing, A.K.A. school. School is such a weird concept to me.
It's four in the morning and I am not feeling coherent or even conscious really. Urgh, Spanish paper and speech.
Um, I went to some restaurant in Kalona tonight/last night with Jeremiah and we played for about twenty people that were there, mostly people he knows, for about two hours and walked away with $35 each. Not bad. Plus everybody watching us (and, more importantly, Jeremiah) seemed to really like my playing. So yeah. And he was talking about arranging a regular practice schedule.