Anything-Can-Happen-August (3/?)
Whew - it's been a busy week, but I finally got this done! This chapter's a bit of fluff, but I hope you like it. I'm thinking the story will wrap up in another 2-3 parts. Comments are appreciated and welcome as always! Much love!
Title: Anything-Can-Happen-August (3/?)
Spoilers: Everything up to and including 2 X 23
Rating: R (just to be safe - since I don’t know where this will go yet)
Word Count: 3,601
Disclaimer: Not mine... although I still wish I had my own Sheldon *sigh*
X-Posted: Paradox http://community.livejournal.com/sheldon_penny/454884.html
August 5, 2011
“Will you two cut it out back there?” Katherine Sawyer yelled with a warning look at the bickering duo in the backseat. “Do not make me pull over, Howard. Penny’s right hook is nothing compared to mine.”
Howard petulantly looked at her in the mirror. “She started it,” he said, pointing to Mandy, who was strapped into a booster seat between him and Raj, looking angelic.
Sam was sandwiched in the third seat of Kate’s massive SUV, between Jim and Johnny Mason - both of whom had insisted on tagging along on this escapade to find Sheldon and Penny. The Sawyer parents followed closely behind in their own car. Leonard, who had drawn shotgun, smothered a smug smile behind his hand, happy that he could let someone else deal with ‘the crazy’ for once.
“Raj, honey,” Kate asked, “would you please give Mandy a juice box? They should be in the cooler bag on the floor there.”
Raj looked startled at her request, but quickly recovered and raised his hand. She was still looking at him in the rear-view mirror.
“Yes, sweetie?” She watched as he pointed to himself. “Yes, you can have a juice box too.” He smiled.
“I want a juice box!” Howard whined.
“Only if you behave, Howard,” Kate warned.
“I’ll behave.”
“Promise?” Mandy piped up, with a saccharine smile.
“I’ll behave if you behave!”
“I’ll behave if you behave,” Mandy mocked, sticking her tongue out at him.
“Both of you behave, or so help me God, neither of you will enjoy the consequences!”
“What’s con-quen-sesses, Mommy?”
“And you call yourself a five-year old?” Howard taunted her.
“Enough!” Kate exclaimed. “Raj - give Howard a juice box. Maybe it’ll shut him up.”
“What about us?” Sam chimed in from the back.
“Juice boxes for everyone,” Kate called out through gritted teeth.
“I don’t want a juice box,” Jim intoned seriously. “Is there any mineral water? I’ll settle for diet soda.”
“All we have is juice - drink it or go thirsty!” Kate screeched, her grip on the steering wheel white-knuckled.
Leonard couldn’t take it anymore - they had only been on the road for all of thirty minutes, and it was a long drive to Texas; it started with a snigger and then progressed to all-out laughter. Kate shot him a withering glance, but couldn’t keep it up. Her face broke into a wide smile as she giggled. All of a sudden, it was as if she had punched him in the stomach again. As realization struck, he abruptly looked away from her and out the window.
Holy crap on a cracker - was he falling for Penny’s sister?
August 6, 2011
“You see that copse of trees over there?” Sheldon pointed to a little thicket of trees and shrubbery just a few feet from the road. “We’ll park the Winnebago there for the time-being - it’ll be out of sight in the dark - and then we can go the rest of the way on foot.” He looked at her, his voice gentle but firm. “I know you must be exhausted driving all this way without any sleep, but I promise, it’s not a very long walk.”
“I don’t get it - I know it’s past midnight, but why don’t we just drive straight to your mother’s?”
“We’re not going to my mother’s. I’d rather not have her worry about all this. We’ll go to Meemaw’s trailer. She’s better than Mom is in crisis situations. And I’d rather walk the rest of the way so as not to announce our arrival to all and sundry.”
“Huh?”
“I don’t want anyone to know I’m back.”
“Oh. Okay,” Penny pulled into the dirt road hidden amongst the trees and parked the vehicle close to a group of large shrubs. “Why wouldn’t you want anyone to know you’re back?” Sheldon sighed in frustration as he got his backpack and messenger bag.
“Why can’t you just do what I say and not ask so many infernal questions?”
“Sweetie - do you even know me?”
“Oh, right. Asker-of-everything and knower-of-nothing...much.” She shot him a dark look, and he smirked as he opened the door and jumped down, his shoes crunching on the gravel.
She stared at him open-mouthed for a second - had he just teased her? She shook her head as if to clear it - she had the strangest feeling that her life would never be this little road-trip with Sheldon. He turned to make sure she locked up properly, and then held out his hand. She slipped her hand into his without thought.
“You know, Sheldon, if I didn’t adore you so much - you’d be so dead right now. That was the longest drive of my life, and I don’t mean mileage-wise!”
“It wasn’t exactly a walk in the park for me either, Penny!” Sheldon whirled on her. “I can’t believe you made me eat at a...” he shuddered, “MacDonald’s.”
“Oh, the horror. All you had were the fries!”
“Those were frozen French fries immersed in boiling oil for a full ten minutes. Any bacterial contamination would have been eliminated at that step. It was the only safe thing on the menu.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t pre-pack all your meals.”
“I didn’t have time! I was slightly distracted by having to rescue you!” Penny stopped and glared at him.
“FYI Sheldon - I didn’t need rescuing as much as you needed to rescue me!” She stared at him defiantly, silently daring him to contradict her. “You have feelings for me, Sheldon. Admit it - you’ve always had feelings for me! How much longer are you going to deny it?”
“That is a ludicrous allegation! I categorically deny everything!” He cried vehemently and it would have been convincing had his face not twitched.
It was enough for Penny. She tugged her hand from his grasp and instead grabbed fistfuls of his white shirt, yanking him down to her level.
“Deny this,” she said, looking deep into his indigo eyes, so there could be no mistaking her intent. He looked like a deer caught in her headlights - she grinned wolfishly.
And there, on a side street just outside of a little place called Sugar County, Texas, Penny Sawyer kissed Sheldon Cooper for the first time.
She kissed him the way she had been longing to kiss him for months now. Her mouth captured his full lower lip, gently tugging at it with her teeth as she slowly sucked and licked it in turn. Then she pulled back, a few fleeting moments later, looking up at him to guage his reaction and feeling slightly lightheaded herself.
Sheldon looked as dazed as she felt. But then, quicker than she could have blinked, he dropped his bags, and cupping her face in his hands - he kissed her back. It was sloppy, it was awkward, it was desperate... and completely, utterly - wonderful.
Penny’s arms wrapped around his waist as she pressed herself as close to his lean body as possible. She moaned as his tongue plunged into her mouth, Sheldon making up in enthusiasm what he lacked in technique. Penny swore she saw stars and heard sirens.
Wait... sirens? She pulled away from Sheldon in time to see the county sheriff’s cruiser pull up next to them.
“Well, well... what do we have here?” The sheriff, her voice a drawling Texas twang, poked her head out of the cruiser and looked at them, one eyebrow raised in a manner that looked strangely familiar to Penny. Sheldon, still breathing hard, turned to look at the policewoman.
“Sherriff, we were just minding our own business,” Sheldon explained, traces of a Texan accent becoming apparent in his voice.
“You two were engaging in lewd public behaviour. That there’s grounds for arrest.”
“Lewd? What?” Penny exclaimed in shock. “We were just kissing!”
“A-ha! So you admit it then! Guilty as charged. Get in the back.”
“We’re not getting in anywhere,” Penny stated, sounding braver than she felt, but Sheldon had already picked up the bags and was moving towards the police car. “Sheldon!” Penny hurried after him, whispering... loudly. “For goodness sake - what if this is some sort of psycho cop who kidnaps unsuspecting travellers and takes them into town where everyone’s a bloodthirsty cannibal?”
“Penny, how many times have I told you not to read Stephen King?”
“I can’t help it... the man is a sick genius. Are you sure about this?” she asked as they got into the back seat of the cruiser.
“This is my hometown, Penny. The townsfolk may be a bloodthirsty lot, but none of them have ever displayed cannibalistic tendencies.”
“And how long have you been away? People change!”
“Would either of you mind if I stopped by the store to pick up some fava beans and a nice Chianti?” The sheriff flashed them a wicked smile. Penny actually squeaked in alarm.
Sheldon gave Penny a scathing look, and then - apparently for good measure - turned that look on the sheriff in her rear-view mirror. She chuckled and kept driving.
In about ten minutes, they pulled up outside a small police station with one other cruiser parked out front. The sheriff parked and got out, and Sheldon followed suit.
“In you get,” she said, ushering them into the station ahead of her. She ushered them straight into the single empty holding cell in the back of the office, and shut the barred door with a loud clang.
Penny was stupefied.
“Sheldon! What the hell’s going on?” Penny felt like she had stepped into the twilight zone. Sheldon was stoic and unresponsive, as if waiting - for what, exactly, was anybody’s guess.
Penny watched as the sheriff perched her ample behind on the edge of a desk and picked up the closest phone. She dialled, and then smiled - it was an evil smile.
“Mary? It’s Maggie. I got Sheldon in lock-up... Uh-huh. How many Sheldons do you know? Nah, he’s got a pretty blonde with him... Maybe. You’re going to have to post bail though. Yup. Bail is set at a full tray of your peach cobbler, but you don’t have to make it tonight - tomorrow’s just as good.” The sheriff - Maggie - chuckled and hung up the phone.
Sheldon huffed.
“This jail cell is filthy,” he deigned to comment haughtily.
“Well, Shelly, it’s not exactly supposed to be the Ritz.”
“Was this charade really necessary?”
“Yes,” Sheriff Maggie said with a grin. “I don’t get to have a whole heck of a lot of fun on the job. I take my kicks where I can get ‘em.” Sheldon rewarded her with a withering glance, and she snorted. “Your death glare’s gotten better with time. Who’s the blonde?”
“This is Penny, my neighbour.”
“Neighbour?” Penny exclaimed turning on him angrily.
“And friend!” Sheldon hastily added to the sheriff, before looking at her. “You didn’t let me finish.”
“That’s it?”
“Oh, honey - don’t get all upset. This is Shelly we’re talking about. He still always calls me Sheriff.”
“Well, that’s what you are,” Sheldon insisted.
“I’m also his Aunt Maggie,” she informed Penny, completely ignoring her nephew. “Mary’s my sister.”
“Oh my God - and I thought my family was crazy.”
“Nope - we’re a whole other kind of crazy.”
“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Penny snorted with a look at Sheldon, and Maggie laughed heartily.
“You want some coffee?” Maggie asked her.
“I’d love some!”
“Great - come on out - I didn’t lock it. Shelly, hot chocolate all right for you, honey?”
“Yes, thank you. The water needs to be completely boiled and...”
“...the mug and spoon washed and sterilized in the boiling water before adding the chocolate. Three heaping - not cut - teaspoons of chocolate, mug filled three-quarters of the way, vigorous - not slow - stirring, so there’s froth.” Penny finished for him with an apologetic smile at his aunt. “I’ll make his hot chocolate.”
Maggie looked at her like she had suddenly sprouted a second head.
“Hell has frozen over and the devil is two-stepping with an angel,” Maggie mumbled to herself, “I never thought I’d live to see the day.”
Penny smothered a grin as she made the hot drink according to his specifications. The look he gave her when she handed him the mug was... smouldering.
His long, lean fingers closed over hers as he accepted the mug, neither of them feeling the heat of the drink, perhaps because the heat simmering between them was much more scorching. They instinctively leaned towards each other but sprang apart almost immediately after when the door was thrown open to admit Mary, Missy and another obvious member - based on her looks alone - of the Cooper clan.
“Shelly!” Mary Cooper descended on her son and enveloped him in a bear hug. Missy did the same but added a noogie at the end. The sister Penny did not know just walked up to him and punched him in the arm.
“Ow! Maddy!”
“I haven’t heard from you in two weeks, Sheldon!” Maddy railed at him. “Where the hell...”
“Language!” Mary yelled at a higher decibel than her daughter was employing.
“Where the heck have you been? You couldn’t even text me?”
“I was busy...” Sheldon started.
“Too busy for your favourite sister?”
“Hey!” This from Missy.
“Just because you shared a womb with him doesn’t mean he loves you best.”
“I love all of you equally.” Sheldon stated flatly.
“But you love me just a little bit more, right?” Maddy asked him with a cheeky grin, and Sheldon’s serious expression slipped a little. A small smile started at the edge of his mouth. Maddy crowed triumphantly and threw her arms around him. Sheldon actually hugged her back - awkwardly, of course, but a hug was a hug. Then Maddy noticed Penny.
“Penny!” She cried excitedly. “I finally get to meet you!” She drew Penny in for a quick hug, as did Missy and Mary. “I’ve heard all about you!”
“Maddy!” Penny exclaimed, as if she had known of her existence before this moment. “It’s so wonderful to finally meet you too!”
“He’s never mentioned me, has he?”
“Not once.” Penny admitted sheepishly and Maddy rolled her eyes at her big brother.
“Well - just so you know, Penny, he talks about you all the time. And we’re a six-pack.”
“He talks about... me?” Penny was intrigued. “Wait - who’s a six-pack?”
“I have six sisters,” Sheldon explained.
“Six? Good Lord!” Penny stared at Sheldon’s mother. “Six girls and Sheldon? You’re Superwoman.”
“Ain’t that the truth.”
“So what was more important than talking to me, Sheldon?” Maddy interrogated her older brother. “Stringy theories again?”
“I was busy breaking up Penny’s wedding.”
“Whaaat?!” All his female relatives exclaimed in unison.
“It’s a long story.”
“No kidding, Shelly,” Missy said sarcastically. “How ‘bout you fill us in?”
“Sheldon discovered that my ex-fiancé had a criminal record as long as my arm. I had no idea. Then we overheard them - Mike, his uncle and cousins - talking about some sort of illegal thing they were planning. It sounded dangerous, they all had guns. This was the night before the wedding. Sheldon and I came up with this plan to get out of the wedding without them finding out that we knew about their plans to do whatever it was they were thinking of doing, and we ran away in a Winnebago and came here.” Penny enlightened them, stopping to breathe as they stared at her open-mouthed in shock.
“These men are very likely on our trail. We managed to lose them on the interstate in Nebraska but they’re criminals and they might have nefarious means of ferreting out information on our whereabouts. We need to hide out here for a while so I can make sure Penny’s safe,” Sheldon explained further. “I thought the safest place to bring her would be to Meemaw’s trailer park.”
“Wow.” This from Mary.
“Wow is right,” Missy reiterated.
“That is so cool!” Maddy exclaimed. “And so romantic!”
“It is not cool!” Sheldon berated her indignantly.
“So you admit to it being romantic, then?” Missy teased as Sheldon glowered at her.
“Is she wearing your shirt? Your Flash shirt?” Mary suddenly asked, looking even more shocked at this than the fact that armed mobsters were after them.
“Well, I couldn’t exactly bring her home to Meemaw in her brassiere and slip.”
“Whaaat?!” All his female relatives exclaimed in unison. Again. Penny snickered.
“Perhaps we should go home now, Mom. It’s late and Penny needs her rest.”
“The girls are home - we don’t have an extra room,” Mary stated, keeping a close eye on Sheldon’s reaction.
“She can sleep on the couch,” Sheldon less than gallantly suggested. Mary looked somewhat relieved.
“She can stay with me,” Maggie offered.
“And Jesse James Buchannon?” Sheldon squeaked in horror. “I think not.” It was said in a tone that brooked no argument.
“Who’s Jesse James Buchannon?” Penny piped up.
“Uncle Eddie’s sister Louise’s husband Frank’s nephew who lives with Uncle Eddie and Aunt Maggie,” Maddy supplied. “He’s a foreman on a ranch just outside of town and he is smokin’ hot.”
Penny grinned at her, liking her more with every word out of her mouth. “Oh, yeah?” she asked, pretending intrigue, while peeking at Sheldon out of the corner of her eye. “Smokin’ hot, you say?”
“Sex on legs,” Missy added.
“Don’t be ridiculous. That is patently impossible,” Sheldon huffed.
“Don’t worry, bro - Jesse only has eyes for Missy,” Maddy informed him.
“He does not!” Missy argued vehemently, with a guilty glance at her mother and aunt.
“Yes, he totally does. He looks at you the way Sheldon looked at Penny just before we came in here,” she grinned cheekily at her brother. “I saw you through the window. You looked like you wanted to throw her down and...”
“That’s enough of that, young lady!” Mary warned her youngest child, before looking at her oldest daughter. “Well, she’s right about Jesse - it’s about damn time ,” Mary stated flatly. She sister nodded in agreement.
“You two have been chasing each other around long enough,” Maggie agreed. “Give it up and get married already. Don’t make me bring out my shotgun...”
“Can we focus on the subject at hand?” Sheldon interrupted before chaos could erupt - as such was the way of all their family discourses, “Penny needs her rest, and frankly, so do I. It’s been a traumatizing two weeks.”
There was a lot more talking versus action, but they finally managed to reach Sheldon’s home less than twenty minutes later. Penny took in her surroundings with a smile as they drove up the driveway.The Cooper residence was just outside of town, and looked more like a small ranch than the suburban home Penny had expected. It large, warm and welcoming, and sat on a big lot with a huge front garden surrounded by a profusion of wildflowers, shrubs and trees.
Penny felt as if she was coming... home.
There were happy - girly - shrieks as they walked towards the house and four girls of varying ages tumbled out on to the wraparound porch and waved excitedly at them. They squealed in delight at the sight of Sheldon and he spent a good five minutes trying to extricate himself from their enthusiastic hugs.
“Penny,” he finally addressed her, sounding winded but happy, “these are my other sisters: Molly, Megan, Moira and Marissa.”
“Wow,” Penny was overwhelmed. This was the best-looking, blue-eyed, brunette brood of siblings she had ever seen.
”Yeah,” Maddy chirped. “We’re like the Von Trapp family - only we can’t sing worth a damn. Except for Shelly but he’s a genius and can do anything,” she finished, looking at her brother adoringly.
“What do you want?” he asked her immediately.
“I dropped my laptop and now there’s no sound. Can you fix it? Please?”
“All right,” he gave a long-suffering sigh. “Can we head inside? Please?”
His sisters shuffled in - noisily - and soon Penny was left alone on the porch with Sheldon. She held him back when he held the door open for her.
“How come you didn’t get an ‘M’ name?”
“I did. We all have the same initials. S.M. Cooper. I just go by my first name.”
“So what’s your ‘M’ stand for?” He pursed his lips tightly shut, and Penny grinned. “I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours,” she whispered, stepping into his personal space, and resting her hands on his chest.
“Penny!” He pushed her hands away, albeit gently and reluctantly. “My mom might see us!”
Penny giggled. “I like your family.” A genuine, unaffected smile lit up his face.
“They like you, too,” he said, his thumb lightly stroking her cheek, “even I can tell that and I’m not usually adept at reading human emotions.”
“You’re getting better at it, though.”
“Thanks, in large part, to you.”
“Aww, sweetie,” she said, pressing a soft kiss on his thumb.
“Welcome home, Penny,” Sheldon whispered with a small smile. Penny blinked rapidly to dispel the prickling in her eyes.
“Thank you for bringing me here, Sheldon.” She rose up on her tiptoes but he was still too high up to kiss. She beckoned him lower with her head, and he obliged, leaning down until their lips met in a soft, sweet kiss.
There was a chorus of “Awwww...” followed by a cacophony of giggles from just inside the front door.
Sheldon turned his death glare on his sisters - and mother - for a few seconds before he gave up and entered the Cooper household, hand in hand with Penny.
Neither of them noticed the black sedan that silently drove by, its pace slow as its occupants coldly surveyed the house and its surroundings.
***
Title: Anything-Can-Happen-August (3/?)
Spoilers: Everything up to and including 2 X 23
Rating: R (just to be safe - since I don’t know where this will go yet)
Word Count: 3,601
Disclaimer: Not mine... although I still wish I had my own Sheldon *sigh*
X-Posted: Paradox http://community.livejournal.com/sheldon_penny/454884.html
August 5, 2011
“Will you two cut it out back there?” Katherine Sawyer yelled with a warning look at the bickering duo in the backseat. “Do not make me pull over, Howard. Penny’s right hook is nothing compared to mine.”
Howard petulantly looked at her in the mirror. “She started it,” he said, pointing to Mandy, who was strapped into a booster seat between him and Raj, looking angelic.
Sam was sandwiched in the third seat of Kate’s massive SUV, between Jim and Johnny Mason - both of whom had insisted on tagging along on this escapade to find Sheldon and Penny. The Sawyer parents followed closely behind in their own car. Leonard, who had drawn shotgun, smothered a smug smile behind his hand, happy that he could let someone else deal with ‘the crazy’ for once.
“Raj, honey,” Kate asked, “would you please give Mandy a juice box? They should be in the cooler bag on the floor there.”
Raj looked startled at her request, but quickly recovered and raised his hand. She was still looking at him in the rear-view mirror.
“Yes, sweetie?” She watched as he pointed to himself. “Yes, you can have a juice box too.” He smiled.
“I want a juice box!” Howard whined.
“Only if you behave, Howard,” Kate warned.
“I’ll behave.”
“Promise?” Mandy piped up, with a saccharine smile.
“I’ll behave if you behave!”
“I’ll behave if you behave,” Mandy mocked, sticking her tongue out at him.
“Both of you behave, or so help me God, neither of you will enjoy the consequences!”
“What’s con-quen-sesses, Mommy?”
“And you call yourself a five-year old?” Howard taunted her.
“Enough!” Kate exclaimed. “Raj - give Howard a juice box. Maybe it’ll shut him up.”
“What about us?” Sam chimed in from the back.
“Juice boxes for everyone,” Kate called out through gritted teeth.
“I don’t want a juice box,” Jim intoned seriously. “Is there any mineral water? I’ll settle for diet soda.”
“All we have is juice - drink it or go thirsty!” Kate screeched, her grip on the steering wheel white-knuckled.
Leonard couldn’t take it anymore - they had only been on the road for all of thirty minutes, and it was a long drive to Texas; it started with a snigger and then progressed to all-out laughter. Kate shot him a withering glance, but couldn’t keep it up. Her face broke into a wide smile as she giggled. All of a sudden, it was as if she had punched him in the stomach again. As realization struck, he abruptly looked away from her and out the window.
Holy crap on a cracker - was he falling for Penny’s sister?
August 6, 2011
“You see that copse of trees over there?” Sheldon pointed to a little thicket of trees and shrubbery just a few feet from the road. “We’ll park the Winnebago there for the time-being - it’ll be out of sight in the dark - and then we can go the rest of the way on foot.” He looked at her, his voice gentle but firm. “I know you must be exhausted driving all this way without any sleep, but I promise, it’s not a very long walk.”
“I don’t get it - I know it’s past midnight, but why don’t we just drive straight to your mother’s?”
“We’re not going to my mother’s. I’d rather not have her worry about all this. We’ll go to Meemaw’s trailer. She’s better than Mom is in crisis situations. And I’d rather walk the rest of the way so as not to announce our arrival to all and sundry.”
“Huh?”
“I don’t want anyone to know I’m back.”
“Oh. Okay,” Penny pulled into the dirt road hidden amongst the trees and parked the vehicle close to a group of large shrubs. “Why wouldn’t you want anyone to know you’re back?” Sheldon sighed in frustration as he got his backpack and messenger bag.
“Why can’t you just do what I say and not ask so many infernal questions?”
“Sweetie - do you even know me?”
“Oh, right. Asker-of-everything and knower-of-nothing...much.” She shot him a dark look, and he smirked as he opened the door and jumped down, his shoes crunching on the gravel.
She stared at him open-mouthed for a second - had he just teased her? She shook her head as if to clear it - she had the strangest feeling that her life would never be this little road-trip with Sheldon. He turned to make sure she locked up properly, and then held out his hand. She slipped her hand into his without thought.
“You know, Sheldon, if I didn’t adore you so much - you’d be so dead right now. That was the longest drive of my life, and I don’t mean mileage-wise!”
“It wasn’t exactly a walk in the park for me either, Penny!” Sheldon whirled on her. “I can’t believe you made me eat at a...” he shuddered, “MacDonald’s.”
“Oh, the horror. All you had were the fries!”
“Those were frozen French fries immersed in boiling oil for a full ten minutes. Any bacterial contamination would have been eliminated at that step. It was the only safe thing on the menu.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t pre-pack all your meals.”
“I didn’t have time! I was slightly distracted by having to rescue you!” Penny stopped and glared at him.
“FYI Sheldon - I didn’t need rescuing as much as you needed to rescue me!” She stared at him defiantly, silently daring him to contradict her. “You have feelings for me, Sheldon. Admit it - you’ve always had feelings for me! How much longer are you going to deny it?”
“That is a ludicrous allegation! I categorically deny everything!” He cried vehemently and it would have been convincing had his face not twitched.
It was enough for Penny. She tugged her hand from his grasp and instead grabbed fistfuls of his white shirt, yanking him down to her level.
“Deny this,” she said, looking deep into his indigo eyes, so there could be no mistaking her intent. He looked like a deer caught in her headlights - she grinned wolfishly.
And there, on a side street just outside of a little place called Sugar County, Texas, Penny Sawyer kissed Sheldon Cooper for the first time.
She kissed him the way she had been longing to kiss him for months now. Her mouth captured his full lower lip, gently tugging at it with her teeth as she slowly sucked and licked it in turn. Then she pulled back, a few fleeting moments later, looking up at him to guage his reaction and feeling slightly lightheaded herself.
Sheldon looked as dazed as she felt. But then, quicker than she could have blinked, he dropped his bags, and cupping her face in his hands - he kissed her back. It was sloppy, it was awkward, it was desperate... and completely, utterly - wonderful.
Penny’s arms wrapped around his waist as she pressed herself as close to his lean body as possible. She moaned as his tongue plunged into her mouth, Sheldon making up in enthusiasm what he lacked in technique. Penny swore she saw stars and heard sirens.
Wait... sirens? She pulled away from Sheldon in time to see the county sheriff’s cruiser pull up next to them.
“Well, well... what do we have here?” The sheriff, her voice a drawling Texas twang, poked her head out of the cruiser and looked at them, one eyebrow raised in a manner that looked strangely familiar to Penny. Sheldon, still breathing hard, turned to look at the policewoman.
“Sherriff, we were just minding our own business,” Sheldon explained, traces of a Texan accent becoming apparent in his voice.
“You two were engaging in lewd public behaviour. That there’s grounds for arrest.”
“Lewd? What?” Penny exclaimed in shock. “We were just kissing!”
“A-ha! So you admit it then! Guilty as charged. Get in the back.”
“We’re not getting in anywhere,” Penny stated, sounding braver than she felt, but Sheldon had already picked up the bags and was moving towards the police car. “Sheldon!” Penny hurried after him, whispering... loudly. “For goodness sake - what if this is some sort of psycho cop who kidnaps unsuspecting travellers and takes them into town where everyone’s a bloodthirsty cannibal?”
“Penny, how many times have I told you not to read Stephen King?”
“I can’t help it... the man is a sick genius. Are you sure about this?” she asked as they got into the back seat of the cruiser.
“This is my hometown, Penny. The townsfolk may be a bloodthirsty lot, but none of them have ever displayed cannibalistic tendencies.”
“And how long have you been away? People change!”
“Would either of you mind if I stopped by the store to pick up some fava beans and a nice Chianti?” The sheriff flashed them a wicked smile. Penny actually squeaked in alarm.
Sheldon gave Penny a scathing look, and then - apparently for good measure - turned that look on the sheriff in her rear-view mirror. She chuckled and kept driving.
In about ten minutes, they pulled up outside a small police station with one other cruiser parked out front. The sheriff parked and got out, and Sheldon followed suit.
“In you get,” she said, ushering them into the station ahead of her. She ushered them straight into the single empty holding cell in the back of the office, and shut the barred door with a loud clang.
Penny was stupefied.
“Sheldon! What the hell’s going on?” Penny felt like she had stepped into the twilight zone. Sheldon was stoic and unresponsive, as if waiting - for what, exactly, was anybody’s guess.
Penny watched as the sheriff perched her ample behind on the edge of a desk and picked up the closest phone. She dialled, and then smiled - it was an evil smile.
“Mary? It’s Maggie. I got Sheldon in lock-up... Uh-huh. How many Sheldons do you know? Nah, he’s got a pretty blonde with him... Maybe. You’re going to have to post bail though. Yup. Bail is set at a full tray of your peach cobbler, but you don’t have to make it tonight - tomorrow’s just as good.” The sheriff - Maggie - chuckled and hung up the phone.
Sheldon huffed.
“This jail cell is filthy,” he deigned to comment haughtily.
“Well, Shelly, it’s not exactly supposed to be the Ritz.”
“Was this charade really necessary?”
“Yes,” Sheriff Maggie said with a grin. “I don’t get to have a whole heck of a lot of fun on the job. I take my kicks where I can get ‘em.” Sheldon rewarded her with a withering glance, and she snorted. “Your death glare’s gotten better with time. Who’s the blonde?”
“This is Penny, my neighbour.”
“Neighbour?” Penny exclaimed turning on him angrily.
“And friend!” Sheldon hastily added to the sheriff, before looking at her. “You didn’t let me finish.”
“That’s it?”
“Oh, honey - don’t get all upset. This is Shelly we’re talking about. He still always calls me Sheriff.”
“Well, that’s what you are,” Sheldon insisted.
“I’m also his Aunt Maggie,” she informed Penny, completely ignoring her nephew. “Mary’s my sister.”
“Oh my God - and I thought my family was crazy.”
“Nope - we’re a whole other kind of crazy.”
“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Penny snorted with a look at Sheldon, and Maggie laughed heartily.
“You want some coffee?” Maggie asked her.
“I’d love some!”
“Great - come on out - I didn’t lock it. Shelly, hot chocolate all right for you, honey?”
“Yes, thank you. The water needs to be completely boiled and...”
“...the mug and spoon washed and sterilized in the boiling water before adding the chocolate. Three heaping - not cut - teaspoons of chocolate, mug filled three-quarters of the way, vigorous - not slow - stirring, so there’s froth.” Penny finished for him with an apologetic smile at his aunt. “I’ll make his hot chocolate.”
Maggie looked at her like she had suddenly sprouted a second head.
“Hell has frozen over and the devil is two-stepping with an angel,” Maggie mumbled to herself, “I never thought I’d live to see the day.”
Penny smothered a grin as she made the hot drink according to his specifications. The look he gave her when she handed him the mug was... smouldering.
His long, lean fingers closed over hers as he accepted the mug, neither of them feeling the heat of the drink, perhaps because the heat simmering between them was much more scorching. They instinctively leaned towards each other but sprang apart almost immediately after when the door was thrown open to admit Mary, Missy and another obvious member - based on her looks alone - of the Cooper clan.
“Shelly!” Mary Cooper descended on her son and enveloped him in a bear hug. Missy did the same but added a noogie at the end. The sister Penny did not know just walked up to him and punched him in the arm.
“Ow! Maddy!”
“I haven’t heard from you in two weeks, Sheldon!” Maddy railed at him. “Where the hell...”
“Language!” Mary yelled at a higher decibel than her daughter was employing.
“Where the heck have you been? You couldn’t even text me?”
“I was busy...” Sheldon started.
“Too busy for your favourite sister?”
“Hey!” This from Missy.
“Just because you shared a womb with him doesn’t mean he loves you best.”
“I love all of you equally.” Sheldon stated flatly.
“But you love me just a little bit more, right?” Maddy asked him with a cheeky grin, and Sheldon’s serious expression slipped a little. A small smile started at the edge of his mouth. Maddy crowed triumphantly and threw her arms around him. Sheldon actually hugged her back - awkwardly, of course, but a hug was a hug. Then Maddy noticed Penny.
“Penny!” She cried excitedly. “I finally get to meet you!” She drew Penny in for a quick hug, as did Missy and Mary. “I’ve heard all about you!”
“Maddy!” Penny exclaimed, as if she had known of her existence before this moment. “It’s so wonderful to finally meet you too!”
“He’s never mentioned me, has he?”
“Not once.” Penny admitted sheepishly and Maddy rolled her eyes at her big brother.
“Well - just so you know, Penny, he talks about you all the time. And we’re a six-pack.”
“He talks about... me?” Penny was intrigued. “Wait - who’s a six-pack?”
“I have six sisters,” Sheldon explained.
“Six? Good Lord!” Penny stared at Sheldon’s mother. “Six girls and Sheldon? You’re Superwoman.”
“Ain’t that the truth.”
“So what was more important than talking to me, Sheldon?” Maddy interrogated her older brother. “Stringy theories again?”
“I was busy breaking up Penny’s wedding.”
“Whaaat?!” All his female relatives exclaimed in unison.
“It’s a long story.”
“No kidding, Shelly,” Missy said sarcastically. “How ‘bout you fill us in?”
“Sheldon discovered that my ex-fiancé had a criminal record as long as my arm. I had no idea. Then we overheard them - Mike, his uncle and cousins - talking about some sort of illegal thing they were planning. It sounded dangerous, they all had guns. This was the night before the wedding. Sheldon and I came up with this plan to get out of the wedding without them finding out that we knew about their plans to do whatever it was they were thinking of doing, and we ran away in a Winnebago and came here.” Penny enlightened them, stopping to breathe as they stared at her open-mouthed in shock.
“These men are very likely on our trail. We managed to lose them on the interstate in Nebraska but they’re criminals and they might have nefarious means of ferreting out information on our whereabouts. We need to hide out here for a while so I can make sure Penny’s safe,” Sheldon explained further. “I thought the safest place to bring her would be to Meemaw’s trailer park.”
“Wow.” This from Mary.
“Wow is right,” Missy reiterated.
“That is so cool!” Maddy exclaimed. “And so romantic!”
“It is not cool!” Sheldon berated her indignantly.
“So you admit to it being romantic, then?” Missy teased as Sheldon glowered at her.
“Is she wearing your shirt? Your Flash shirt?” Mary suddenly asked, looking even more shocked at this than the fact that armed mobsters were after them.
“Well, I couldn’t exactly bring her home to Meemaw in her brassiere and slip.”
“Whaaat?!” All his female relatives exclaimed in unison. Again. Penny snickered.
“Perhaps we should go home now, Mom. It’s late and Penny needs her rest.”
“The girls are home - we don’t have an extra room,” Mary stated, keeping a close eye on Sheldon’s reaction.
“She can sleep on the couch,” Sheldon less than gallantly suggested. Mary looked somewhat relieved.
“She can stay with me,” Maggie offered.
“And Jesse James Buchannon?” Sheldon squeaked in horror. “I think not.” It was said in a tone that brooked no argument.
“Who’s Jesse James Buchannon?” Penny piped up.
“Uncle Eddie’s sister Louise’s husband Frank’s nephew who lives with Uncle Eddie and Aunt Maggie,” Maddy supplied. “He’s a foreman on a ranch just outside of town and he is smokin’ hot.”
Penny grinned at her, liking her more with every word out of her mouth. “Oh, yeah?” she asked, pretending intrigue, while peeking at Sheldon out of the corner of her eye. “Smokin’ hot, you say?”
“Sex on legs,” Missy added.
“Don’t be ridiculous. That is patently impossible,” Sheldon huffed.
“Don’t worry, bro - Jesse only has eyes for Missy,” Maddy informed him.
“He does not!” Missy argued vehemently, with a guilty glance at her mother and aunt.
“Yes, he totally does. He looks at you the way Sheldon looked at Penny just before we came in here,” she grinned cheekily at her brother. “I saw you through the window. You looked like you wanted to throw her down and...”
“That’s enough of that, young lady!” Mary warned her youngest child, before looking at her oldest daughter. “Well, she’s right about Jesse - it’s about damn time ,” Mary stated flatly. She sister nodded in agreement.
“You two have been chasing each other around long enough,” Maggie agreed. “Give it up and get married already. Don’t make me bring out my shotgun...”
“Can we focus on the subject at hand?” Sheldon interrupted before chaos could erupt - as such was the way of all their family discourses, “Penny needs her rest, and frankly, so do I. It’s been a traumatizing two weeks.”
There was a lot more talking versus action, but they finally managed to reach Sheldon’s home less than twenty minutes later. Penny took in her surroundings with a smile as they drove up the driveway.The Cooper residence was just outside of town, and looked more like a small ranch than the suburban home Penny had expected. It large, warm and welcoming, and sat on a big lot with a huge front garden surrounded by a profusion of wildflowers, shrubs and trees.
Penny felt as if she was coming... home.
There were happy - girly - shrieks as they walked towards the house and four girls of varying ages tumbled out on to the wraparound porch and waved excitedly at them. They squealed in delight at the sight of Sheldon and he spent a good five minutes trying to extricate himself from their enthusiastic hugs.
“Penny,” he finally addressed her, sounding winded but happy, “these are my other sisters: Molly, Megan, Moira and Marissa.”
“Wow,” Penny was overwhelmed. This was the best-looking, blue-eyed, brunette brood of siblings she had ever seen.
”Yeah,” Maddy chirped. “We’re like the Von Trapp family - only we can’t sing worth a damn. Except for Shelly but he’s a genius and can do anything,” she finished, looking at her brother adoringly.
“What do you want?” he asked her immediately.
“I dropped my laptop and now there’s no sound. Can you fix it? Please?”
“All right,” he gave a long-suffering sigh. “Can we head inside? Please?”
His sisters shuffled in - noisily - and soon Penny was left alone on the porch with Sheldon. She held him back when he held the door open for her.
“How come you didn’t get an ‘M’ name?”
“I did. We all have the same initials. S.M. Cooper. I just go by my first name.”
“So what’s your ‘M’ stand for?” He pursed his lips tightly shut, and Penny grinned. “I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours,” she whispered, stepping into his personal space, and resting her hands on his chest.
“Penny!” He pushed her hands away, albeit gently and reluctantly. “My mom might see us!”
Penny giggled. “I like your family.” A genuine, unaffected smile lit up his face.
“They like you, too,” he said, his thumb lightly stroking her cheek, “even I can tell that and I’m not usually adept at reading human emotions.”
“You’re getting better at it, though.”
“Thanks, in large part, to you.”
“Aww, sweetie,” she said, pressing a soft kiss on his thumb.
“Welcome home, Penny,” Sheldon whispered with a small smile. Penny blinked rapidly to dispel the prickling in her eyes.
“Thank you for bringing me here, Sheldon.” She rose up on her tiptoes but he was still too high up to kiss. She beckoned him lower with her head, and he obliged, leaning down until their lips met in a soft, sweet kiss.
There was a chorus of “Awwww...” followed by a cacophony of giggles from just inside the front door.
Sheldon turned his death glare on his sisters - and mother - for a few seconds before he gave up and entered the Cooper household, hand in hand with Penny.
Neither of them noticed the black sedan that silently drove by, its pace slow as its occupants coldly surveyed the house and its surroundings.
***