Falling Feels like Flying (in a Vee): Five

[qblackheart]

 



It was snowing steadily by the time practice wrapped up and everyone headed home; Danneel, Sandy, Jensen and Jared walking the kids who lived on their street home. The stroll was good, the conversation and the atmosphere hushed, even the kids, all of them entranced by the gently falling snow way more than any Canadian had the right to be, seeing as they saw so much of it. It was still magical though, that first snowfall of the year, and Jared loved it.

He would have also given anything to be able to hold Jensen's hand in his right now, nothing between them but skin, no gloves and no more obstacles. It was too soon though, and even if it meant exercising some patience, Jared figured Jensen was worth it.

One by one, the kids were dropped off at their houses, the twins and Danneel heading indoors just before Jensen turned onto his walkway. Once there, though, he paused, looking uncertain, and it gave Jared cause for concern.

"Hey, you guys wanna stay for dinner?" Tyler asked them, before turning to his father. "They can, right dad?"

Jensen nodded, looking vaguely relieved, and Jared felt hope stirring in his chest again. "Yeah. Absolutely."

"Awesome!" Ryan whooped, obviously as loath to end this day as the rest of them. "Movie?"

Tyler looked to be deep in thought as they walked into the house. "The Goonies."

"Dude," Ryan looked at him with new respect and Jensen looked at Jared with a smirk.

The Goonies had been their favorite movie as kids; Jared laughed as he recalled how often Jensen had coaxed him into doing the Truffle Shuffle.

"Shut up, Jen," Jared said as they moved into the kitchen.

Jensen chuckled. "I didn't say anything."

"I can hear you thinking from over here!"

"Don't worry," Jensen teased, his green eyes sparking with heat as they raked down Jared's torso, "you don't have any truffle to shuffle anymore."

And Jesus - Jared suddenly felt the urge to go out and bury his body in the snow, it got so hot in the room.

It didn’t bode well for the rest of the evening, but in the best way possible, both of them comfortable around each other, brushing shoulders and hands as their gazes met with a smile every so often.

The boys cleaned up as Jensen - pretty little house-husband that he had become - cooked for them. Jared sat at the kitchen table after his contribution to the meal - the salad - had been made and watched Jensen move around the kitchen with ease, still surprised when just over an hour later, the boys were helping to set the table while Jensen dished out a perfectly delicious meal of fettuccini alfredo with grilled chicken and broccoli on the side.

They all settled in to watch the movie after that, snug on the couch, the boys between the men. He and Jensen snuck glances at each other throughout the movie, teasing smiles tugging at their mouths as they recalled how many times they had done this before, parroting the dialogue from the classic kid’s flick.

It was the best day in Jared’s recollection in years.

He was fully prepared to bring it to an end though, but Jensen had brought out a couple of beers each and the boys had dozed off, and suddenly there was no question of Jared driving home, especially not when Ryan looked so much at home huddled into Jensen’s side, fast asleep, while Tyler was snuggled into his chest.

“Stay,” Jensen said softly, studying him over their sons’ sleeping forms. “We can put them to bed in Ty’s room.”

“Okay,” Jared breathed.

“Wait. What about Harley and Sadie?”

And that right there just endeared Jensen to him even more. “They’re in Kingston this week because I was so busy with work.”

“Oh. Umm… You could take the couch,” Jensen suggested, his eyes drifting off to one side hesitantly as Jared held his breath. “You’re not gonna fit though… so maybe… maybe you can stay with me.”

“Okay.” Jensen looked up at him at that, biting his lip and really Jared should not be thinking dirty thoughts with their kids so close by.

Luckily Jensen was on the ball, and he picked Ryan up, so Jared did the same with Tyler and followed Jensen upstairs, neither of them saying much as they put the boys to bed and tucked them in.

“I’m through here,” Jensen told him as they closed the door of Tyler’s room behind them, leading him down the hall to the master bedroom. “Er… I’m just gonna go lock up. Linen closet’s there if you need a towel, and I keep my stuff in that dresser, so help yourself to whatever.”

Jensen disappeared, taking his time, psyching himself up no doubt, so Jared calmly changed into one of Jensen’s tees and a pair of sweats, brushing his teeth with his finger and toothpaste, acting as if his heart wasn’t about to beat right out of his chest.

When Jensen returned, he went right into the bathroom to change, and by the time he emerged Jared was just standing by the bay window in the room, staring out at the winter wonderland that was the back yard. He turned when the bathroom door opened and the light clicked off, leaving only the lamp at the bedside and the full moon shining through the window to illuminate the room.

“I wasn’t sure which side you wanted,” Jared told him, his eyes flicking to the bed.

“The left. Same as always,” Jensen told him, biting his lip again, looking contemplative. “I had to switch with Hannah. Never did get used to it though.”

Jared just nodded. He never slept on the right side of the bed - his usual side - when he had someone else in bed with him. It had never felt right unless he was sleeping with Jensen.

They were quiet as they pulled the covers back and climbed in, both too hesitant to upset the status quo, the weird tension in the air was stifling to the point where Jensen actually jerked away when Jared’s hand accidentally brushed his. That was just wrong.

“Jensen.”

“This is harder than I thought it would be, Jay.”

“We don’t need to do anything. Just sleep.”

Jensen sighed and Jared turned onto his side face him. “Please. Just give this a chance. Give us a chance to do this right,” Jared begged. “You said… you said you would follow my lead.”

Jensen was silent for so long that Jared almost thought he was going to fall asleep that way, but then, finally, he spoke, his voice whisper soft and raw with emotion. “You... you didn't just break my heart when you said no, Jay, you broke me. Me. Everything I was, everything I wanted to be... none of it mattered afterwards. Do you know how long it took me to come to terms with that? To get over you?”

Jared inhaled deeply in an effort to stem the helpless tears that sprung into his eyes. “Jensen…”

“Well, to think I was over you...,” Jensen continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “I thought I could do this, but now that we’re here, and you’re here... I can't go through that again, Jared. I can't. Not when I have Ty depending on me now. I know we shared a bed in Cobourg... but this is my bed. My home. My life... If I have you here and you leave me again…”

“Jensen, please...”

“I'm not ready...”

“Will you ever be?”

“I don't know.”

“I'm not going to leave you,” Jared vowed. “You're it for me, Jen. It's always only ever been you.”

“You said no.”

“Then ask me again!”

A choked sob ripped through Jensen’s throat and he finally turned to face Jared. “I can't! I can't put everything on the line like that again...”

“You have to trust me, Jensen,” Jared pleaded. “Can you trust me?” The ensuing silence spoke volumes. “Okay. Okay,” he nodded, tears running unheeded down his face, his voice breaking right alongside his heart.

“I’ll take the couch,” Jensen offered, quietly getting up, but Jared stayed him with a hand to his chest, his conversation with Tyler suddenly echoing inside his head. He took a deep, calming breath, and swiped away his tears.

"It's fine. Baby steps. I'll prove to you that you can trust me again. I'll show you that you can love me again. It happened once, it can happen again."

“Jared…”

Jared threw back the covers and got out of bed, looking at Jensen even though it hurt to do so. “I'll be by to pick Ryan up in the morning.”

“I’m not letting you drive…”

“I'll call a cab. Don't worry about me,” Jared knelt on the bed and pressed a soft kiss to Jensen’s mouth. “Goodnight. I love you, Jensen.”

And then, with everything he had in him, he grabbed his clothes and left.



Jensen stared at the bedroom door as it closed behind Jared, swallowing past the lump in his throat, calling himself every kind of fool for his cowardice.

If he closed his eyes, he could still feel the residual heat from Jared’s body under the covers so he threw them off and stumbled out of bed, going to stand by the window, staring out at the blanket of snow that had been steadily building over the back yard since they had come home from practice.

Had he done the right thing sending Jared away? It had felt like it was the logical move to make. Protect himself and Tyler first; that made sense, right? So what if his heart and body and soul and maybe even a small part of his mind were protesting the inherent wrongness of it all? He had led with his heart before and what had it gotten him? Almost half a lifetime of pain.

And a son he would move heaven and earth for.

He scrubbed a hand down his haggard face and looked up at the moon, full and shining like a beacon in the night sky.

To the moon and back.

The words filtered through the recesses of his mind, the voice of a boy but still very much his, an echo from an eon ago.

His answer to the first time Jared had ever asked him that question, right after confessing his feelings, hesitant and shy and determined…

I love you, Jen.

I know, dumbass.

No! I mean... I really… I’m… in love… Oh God. I’m in love with you, Jensen. I love you.

Right after Jared had kissed him for the first time, nervous and terrified and perfect…

Do you… do you hate me?

I could never hate you, Jay!

Do you think you could… love me too?

Right after the universe had clicked into place, and everything made sense and all those feelings he'd been bottling up inside overflowed and spilled out of him, right there for everyone to see…

I already do, Jared. I love you, too. To the moon and back.

And Jensen was a fucking idiot.

Heedless of the fact that he was in his boxers and a t-shirt, and never mind that he was barefoot and it was snowing, he bolted out of his bedroom, slip-sliding down the stairs in his haste to make it out the front door, sending his fervent thanks heavenward when he saw Jared still standing in the middle of his walkway, blowing into his gloved hands as his eyes searched the street.

“Stay,” he choked out, his voice raspy and gruff in the still of the night. Jared turned, startled and speechless, and Jensen forged on. “I know I said that before too, but what I meant was… I didn’t want you to leave. I was afraid if you left, you wouldn’t be back and then I’d always picture you in my bed and it’d be so hard to forget that… God. I meant, I want you to stay, Jared, and not leave in the morning… not leave ever,” Jensen tried to explain, his words tripping over his tongue, and he prayed that he was making some sort of sense.

Jared remained eerily silent.

“Stay,” Jensen begged this time, his voice barely a whisper now, his hands fisted in Jared’s coat, “in my bed, in my home, in my life. I need you to stay. Tonight and every night. Please.”

A taxi pulled up to the curb, the sound of its rumbling engine finally breaking the silence in the most unwelcome manner possible. Especially when Jared pulled Jensen’s hands from his coat and turned and walked away.

Jensen froze in place, his breath hitching in his chest as his heart seized.

This must be what it feels like to die, he mused distractedly, absently noting Jared talking to the cab driver; he was pretty sure he hadn’t felt this bereft the last time he had lost Jared.

But then suddenly, the cab was driving away and Jared was walking back to him and he was able to exhale and then inhale again, and exhale and inhale, and sure, his heart skipped a beat or two at the look on Jared’s face but none of that mattered anymore because Jared was right there in front of him, wrapping him up in his coat and in his arms, lifting him up so his frozen feet now rested on top of Jared’s boots, and Jared was kissing him, and… yeah.

The universe clicked back into place, and everything in Jensen’s world shifted firmly into… Right. Perfect.

Meant-to-be.

“You’re a fucking idiot, you know that?” Jared whispered against his mouth.

“Yeah. I got that.” Jensen panted, feeling like he’d just run a marathon, leaning in to kiss Jared again. “But I’m a fucking idiot who loves you.”

“Yeah. I got that.” Jared huffed, pressing his mouth to Jensen’s, more for the connection than for the kiss. “God, I love you too, Jen. So much.”

“That’s awesome,” Jensen said, his voice stuttering as a violent shudder racked though his body, setting his teeth chattering. “Can we go inside now? I’m no good to you dead.”

“Shut up. Moron,” Jared muttered, annoyed, as he half-carried, half-pushed Jensen back towards the house. “You couldn’t take two seconds to put on some shoes?”

“I wanted to catch you.”

“Always were a drama queen,” Jared mumbled with an eye roll, both of them tumbling through the front door, and once inside, he took off his coat and wrapped it around Jensen’s shivering body instead, squatting down to brush the snow off his bare feet. He sighed and sat back on his heels, looking up at Jensen as he used those big hands to rub his icy feet warm. “What am I going to do with you?”

“Ta..take me to b..bed, or lose m..me forever.”

Jared snorted, his shoulders shaking with laughter as he stood, peering right into Jensen’s face. “Now there’s the goofball I grew up with. I’ve missed him.” And with that, topped with a little kiss on his nose, Jared picked him up and carried Jensen up the stairs. Oh, and lest he forget: like a goddamn girl.

“Jared?”

“Shut up, I’m being romantic.”

Jensen smirked, winding his arms around Jared’s neck and enjoying the ride, now that he was feeling warmer. He couldn’t help but give one of Jared’s rock-hard biceps a tentative squeeze. “You got guns. Big guns.”

“All the better to carry you with, my love,” Jared murmured, his voice deep and husky as he said the last two words, causing Jensen to shiver, and not from the cold. Jared turned so he could slip them into Jensen’s bedroom sideways.

“Now there’s the dork I grew up with,” Jensen teased, mostly to be an ass, and he was rewarded with a fond smile. Just before Jared dropped him on the bed, grinning as he actually bounced in place.

“Let’s get rid of this,” Jared said, grabbing his coat to drop it on the floor while Jensen scrambled under the covers. Then, he stripped out of his jeans and got into bed with him. “No more freak outs?” Jensen flushed guiltily and shook his head. “Can you feel your feet?” Jensen nodded; his feet weren’t numb anymore and it was toasty under the blankets. “Good,” Jared muttered, before smothering Jensen and kissing the breath from his body.

They kissed for a long time; slow and languorous, taking the time to explore each other with tongues and hands, mapping out those tried and tested spots that were guaranteed to send shivers racing down spines and spark nerves into firing all the right messages. Everything felt heady and overwhelming, intensified by Jared cradling Jensen’s face like he was something precious, someone he needed to hold onto.

Desire and need and want swelled inside Jensen, his blood thrumming to the erratic beat of his heart, his body heating, flushed with passion as Jared moved so they intertwined, his thigh slipping between Jensen’s legs, his knee hitched up, snug against Jensen’s crotch, giving him something to grind down into as he hardened against Jared, and Jared hardened against him, neither of them willing to let go, their breaths soft, moist puffs against each other’s faces as they breathed the same air.

Jensen’s hands slipped under Jared’s t-shirt - Jensen’s t-shirt - and roved over the smooth, muscular planes of his strong back, learning him again, seeing how Jared’s body had grown since the last time they had done this, cataloging the changes.

Jared moaned from deep in his chest, his hands leaving Jensen’s face as he propped his body up, pulling Jensen with him just enough to divest Jensen of his tee before yanking off his own. Bodies heaving, they stared at each other. Jensen knew what Jared was seeing; he had kept in shape over the years, not at a gym but by working hard, his job was mostly manual labor after all, and by playing baseball in a local league in the summers. He knew he was toned and trim; he had never been ashamed of his body.

He was leaning that way now though, because Jared, straddling Jensen, towering above him, was… beautiful. Like one of those Greek sculptures; perfect pecs, perfect six-pack abs, perfect, flawless, warm golden skin - so much of it, and so gorgeous - that perfect, tantalizing cut of his hips accentuated by the snug black boxer briefs he wore. Jensen’s mouth watered at the thought of licking and biting just there, moving down further to mouth over his full cock, tasting Jared, teasing Jared, making Jared crazy…

“You take my breath away,” Jared whispered, his voice and hands reverent as they moved over Jensen, Jared’s thumbs flicking over his nipples, while his big hands spanned themselves across the breadth of his chest.

“You’re crazy,” Jensen scoffed, breathing hard, his own hands running all over Jared’s hard body. “Fuck, look at you...”

“Shhh...” Jared muttered absently, his gaze intent on the path his fingers were trailing across Jensen’s chest, up over his shoulders, down his arms, up along his sides and over his abs, his touch so sensually worshipful that Jensen’s body peppered with goosebumps, the light hair on his arms raising with heightened arousal. “So many new freckles,” Jared declared wondrously, “I thought it was just on your face, but it’s all over…” Jared sounded way too gleeful suddenly, but when he looked at Jensen, his gaze was piercing and covetous. “I’m going to kiss every single one of them.”

Then he ducked, his mouth latching onto Jensen’s nipple with such ferocity that Jensen involuntarily bucked off the bed, moaning at the sensation of Jared’s lips there, honed in on that tiny nub, licking and laving and suckling.

Holy fuck, it felt like he could come from just that, Jensen thought in the back of his mind. Then Jared’s hands were set in motion again, this time sliding lower, slipping beneath his boxers, those long, elegant fingers wrapping around his cock, tight and perfect. Jensen moaned, long and loud, and Jared lifted his head, his mouth instead crashing into Jensen’s.

“Missed this,” Jared murmured against his lips, “missed you… missed us.”

“Me too,” Jensen gasped. “Never...” his voice broke as Jared’s thumb brushed over the sensitive tip of his cock, delving into the slit there, spreading the moisture leaking from it to ease his way as his hand sped up; Jensen could do no more than hang onto to Jared, his hands gripping those firm forearms, just concentrating on breathing and not falling to pieces. “Never like this with anyone else.”

“Only you, Jen,” Jared told him, panting. “Always you.”

And suddenly, Jensen didn’t want this… their first time in thirteen years to be quick and desperate with just their hands on each other.

This meant something, and he wanted to cherish this moment.

“Wait,” he stilled Jared’s hand, “not like this.”

“What?” Jared asked, sounding more than a little distracted.

“I want you inside me, Jay, please,” Jensen begged, not caring how needy he sounded. “Make love to me.”

Jared froze over him, blinking down at him, his hazel eyes darkening to a mossy green at the rims as his pupils dilated. His breathing became erratic and jaw clenched rigidly as he swallowed, and all Jensen could do was marvel at this man who was the same and yet so different from the boy he had fallen in love with. “Yeah. Yeah, okay. Do you have anything?” Jensen, mind clouded with desire, was momentarily confused, so Jared elaborated with a huff. “Lube? Condoms?”

“Shit,” Jensen swore succinctly. It had been a long goddamn time, so he was unprepared. No condoms, and since he had never been with another man since Jared, no lube either. He racked his brain for a substitute. “Oh! In the bathroom, there’s a bottle of baby oil under the sink.”

Jared was up like a flash and back before Jensen could move a muscle. “Got it,” he grinned, dimpling mischievously. “Do we need…?”

“No,” Jensen interrupted. He wanted to feel all of Jared inside him and from the look on Jared’s face - fiercely possessive and wanton at the same time - Jensen didn’t have to say another word, just slip his boxers down his legs as he shifted towards the middle of the big bed.

Jared stripped too, his hard cock bouncing against his belly as soon as it was freed, long and fat and stiff and just begging for Jensen’s mouth. He indulged himself, leaning over without preamble, swallowing Jared down, his grip punishing on Jared’s hip as he sucked, bobbing his head a bit, teasing the tip of Jared’s dick with his tongue.

“Whoa, Jen…” Jared cursed vehemently. “I’m not gonna last if you keep that up.”

Jensen pulled back with an almost obscene plop. “Just getting reacquainted,” he teased.

Jared smirked. “Plenty of time for that later,” he said, arranging himself on his knees between Jensen’s legs as he spread himself wide for Jared. One long finger traced the line of Jensen’s cock, from the crown to the base, down past his sac, tormenting him as it grazed the soft skin behind his balls and brushed across his opening, over and over and over again until Jensen feared for his sanity.

“Jared…”

“So pretty and pink and tiny, Jen,” he whispered, sounding awed, “and all mine.”

“All yours,” Jensen choked out, and with a look of intense resolve, Jared flipped the cap on the bottle of baby oil, and drizzled a generous amount into his palm, slicking up his cock and his fingers, one of them pushing inside Jensen before he could process anything else.

It was a measured slide in, deliberate and calm, guaranteed to minimize the pain of the intrusion, but Jensen was having none of it. “Just get to it, Jay. Nnngh… fuck me.”

“Patience is a virtue,” Jared grunted, but he relented, a second finger pushing in, and then Jensen gasped as a third was added not long after, stretching him open, finding his prostate, rubbing with delicious intent, tormenting and driving him crazy as those fingers slid out again and Jared lined up his cock, grazing the leaking tip of it over his hole.

The slide of Jared’s cock inside him, prolonged and intimate and right, almost unhinged Jensen, it had been so long. The intrusion was just shy of painful, but the ache was good in a wholly satisfying, bone-meltingly wonderful kind of way, and it made Jensen’s pulse spike and his temperature skyrocket. “Jared… please…”

“Shhh…” Jared panted past gritted teeth, the tendons in his neck tensing, the muscles across his chest, his shoulders, and his arms, all bunched and taut with rigid control as he moved maddeningly slow, bracing himself on one hand flat on the bed, while the other gripped Jensen’s thigh, spreading it wider. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

The tone of his voice gave Jensen pause, his breath stilling as something hot and tight and sweet burst inside his chest. I’m never going to hurt you again, is what he heard, the words falling unspoken between them.

He loosened his hold on the sheets where they were fisted in his hands and grasped Jared’s face between his palms, forcing Jared’s gaze from where he was entering Jensen with single-minded determination, up to his eyes. “I love you,” Jensen swore fiercely, “I never stopped…”

His words were cut off by Jared’s mouth crashing into his, their chests colliding in slick heat as Jared bottomed out, burying himself inside Jensen to the hilt as his strong arms bore beneath Jensen’s body, pulling him into a crushing hug, Jensen’s rock hard dick pressed between their bellies as he wrapped his legs around Jared’s hips, anchoring him in place.

Their tongues dueled as they devoured each other, love and lust and both their bodies melding into each other, a tangle of arms and legs, and Jensen could hardly catch his breath as he ripped his mouth free. “Jared, move!”

“Still bossy,” Jared grumped, smirking, biting Jensen’s bottom lip as he withdrew and his cock slid out of Jensen smoothly, almost to the rim, only to plunge inside again, with a languid roll of his hips, honed in to rub deliciously against his prostate as Jensen struggled to breathe.

“Again, again… oh!”

“Fuck,” Jared groaned, his body tense, every muscle focused on fucking Jensen through the mattress and out of his mind. “So goddamn tight, Jen… you’re perfect…”

Jensen could only moan in response, electric heat zipping down every nerve as Jared rutted into him, hard and fast, just the way he liked it.

The way they both loved it.

And he could tell Jared was close, could tell from the way his body bore down on him, from the way his jaw tightened, from the way he looked down at him, all focused and intense. Jensen could feel his own response heightening, burgeoning out of control, the friction against his cock amazing as they rubbed against one another, tension coiling in the base of his spine, sparking into flame as he came with a shout muffled into Jared’s neck, spurting warm between their bodies, pulsing with want even as Jared kept moving, his pace frantic now.

Seconds later, with Jensen clenching around him, Jared’s breath hitched as he came, filling Jensen up on the inside, wrapping him up on the outside, tender and rough all at once.

It was minutes before they could breathe normally again, and longer still before Jared started to move off him, fucked-out lassitude weighing him down, but Jensen shrugged out of his stupor long enough to flex his fingers where they rested against Jared’s hips, right on the curve of his ass.

“Stay.”

Jared raised his head, his hair, sweaty and sticking out all over the place, getting in his eyes. “What?”

“Stay inside me,” Jensen wasn’t too proud to plead, “just for a little while longer.”

Jared swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat, his voice gruff as his hand reached out to touch Jensen’s face, thumb caressing his cheek. “I’m heavy.”

“I like it.” With a greedy growl at those words, Jared took possession of his mouth again, pressing impossibly closer, his hands branding Jensen with their heat wherever they touched him: his face, his body, his fingers as they intertwined as Jared raised Jensen's arms over his head, Jared’s mouth swooping lower, biting and feasting on his neck, and the soft skin behind his ear.

“You’re beautiful,” Jared whispered, just before sucking Jensen’s earlobe into his mouth.

“So are you,” Jensen groaned and turned his head, nuzzling into Jared’s face, nipping and kissing whatever bit of gorgeous skin he could reach, feeling his dick twitch between them so obviously that Jared looked at him and huffed out a soft laugh, his cheeks dimpling, looking so delectable that Jensen had to reach up and lick into them.

“We’re not getting any sleep tonight, are we?” Jared asked, right against his mouth.

“Got a lot of lost time to make up for,” Jensen teased, smiling, liking the way their lips brushed, moist and warm.

“Got forever to do it.”

Green eyes met hazel ones, both pairs amused and full of love. “Yeah?”

“You bet.”

“Well, then get to it,” Jensen challenged, and Jared chuckled, gently pulling out of his body with a sigh that Jensen echoed from somewhere deep within his soul.

Jared gathered him up in those big, strong arms of his, pulling him close, Jensen’s back flush against his chest, and he pulled the blankets up tucking them both in snugly. “Nap first. I’m not as young as I used to be. I need time to recuperate, ‘cause in case you didn’t notice, I was the one doing all the work.”

“Oh, really?” Jensen turned to first bite and then kiss the forearm that was his pillow. “Does this mean I do the work next time?”

“Mmm…” Jared moaned, licking the back of Jensen’s neck. “Definitely.”

“And soon?” Jensen asked, sleepy now but still eager.

“Soon,” Jared chuckled, “I promise.”

Jensen smiled, sated and satisfied, as Jared’s arms tightened around him, his long legs pushing until they were entwined with Jensen’s, Jared’s dick soft and snug against his ass, for the moment at least.

He could live with soon.

“Love you, Jay.”

“To the moon and back, Jen.”



The enticing aroma of pancakes had Tyler out of bed and into the bathroom to brush his teeth in a hurry. Usually, his dad made pancakes on a Sunday, so he didn’t understand why they were doing it on a Saturday this week, but he certainly wasn’t about to question it. He got a clue when he bumped into Ryan coming out of the bathroom, though.

“Dude!”

Ryan grinned at him. “Good morning.”

“You stayed the night.”

“We slept in the same bed, stupid,” Ryan told him. “Also, you drool. So not classy.”

Tyler laughed and poked him in the belly, brushing his teeth while Ryan sat on the toilet telling him about all the other things Tyler did while he was sleeping.

“I do not talk about X in my sleep,” Tyler groused, snapping his towel at Ryan after he wiped his face. “Shut up!”

“Hey, are those pancakes I smell?” Ryan said, sniffing the air as they walked out of the bathroom. “I love pancakes!”

“Yeah, dad must’ve made them ‘cause you’re here,” Tyler said as they made their way downstairs. Then something occurred to him and he froze mid-step. “You think your dad stayed over too?”

Ryan blinked. “I dunno. Jeez, I hope so. That would be a good sign, right? Especially after yesterday?”

“Yeah, for sure,” Tyler smiled sappily as he recalled their two dads on the ice, skating with a sort of magical harmony, which had been the same way they had moved around the kitchen later that night, Jared helping his dad with dinner. It made Tyler feel warm and fuzzy inside. “Last night was awesome, right?” he asked Ryan softly, not quite sure why he was whispering.

“Yeah,” Ryan agreed, a faraway look in his eyes like he was picturing it all again in his head too. “Kind of like a real family.”

Tyler bumped Ryan’s shoulder with his and smiled in complete understanding. “Exactly.”

They nodded as one and then kept going until they got to the kitchen, both of them freezing in the doorway, Tyler’s jaw dropping in shocked surprise, a squeak rising in his throat that was very effectively muffled by Ryan’s hand clamping over his mouth.

His dad.

And Jared.

Kissing.

Tyler blinked, squeezing his eyes tightly shut for a few seconds before opening them again.

They were still kissing, his dad backed up against the kitchen counter with his arms around Jared’s neck and Jared’s arms around his waist and… They. Were. Kissing.

Holy crap!

He looked at his similarly dumbstruck best friend who was shaking his head as if to clear it, and then blinking rapidly, obviously not believing his eyes, but Tyler, now that he realized that the scene in front of him was not a figment of his imagination, suddenly understood the one thing that had been eluding them so far.

The Why.

Max hadn’t been kidding; love made people do all sorts of crazy crap like not talk to each other in thirteen years when they so obviously love each other, and in this sea of confusion and logic swirling in his head, Tyler got it, like a bolt from the blue: this had always been about love.

And if he had any lingering doubts about that, they were blown to smithereens when his father spoke, his voice low and affectionate, his thumb brushing Jared’s cheek as they just looked at each other, as if fascinated.

“I missed these,” he sighed.

“What?” Jared asked, puzzled.

“Dimples.” Dimples that grew with Jared’s smile.

“I missed these,” Jared said, his finger running along his father’s face, across his cheek, over his nose, and down the other side. His dad smiled and nuzzled Jared’s face, their noses bumping. “Freckles.” Jared kissed his dad's cheek. "This little scar I gave you." That was kissed too. "Pretty green eyes." More kisses.

Jeez, what a sap, Tyler thought, barely holding back a snort as his father laughed out loud.

“Sappy idiot.”

“Your sappy idiot.”

“True. All mine,” his dad smirked, and then they kissed again.

Tyler backed up into the hallway, dragging Ryan along with him.

“Whoa,” Ryan said, soft and shocked.

“Yeah.”

“Coach shaved his beard!”

Tyler did a double take. “That’s what you noticed? Dude!”

“’Kay, it was kinda hard to miss all the kissing,” Ryan said sheepishly, “but that explains a lot actually.”

“No kidding.”

“Is it wrong that the first thing I thought - umm, after the beard thing - was: awesome, now Josie can’t brag about how cool it is to have two dads any more?” Ryan looked at him guiltily, and since the same thought had crossed Tyler’s mind for a split second, too, he shook his head. “Is this bad? Apart from the general sappiness?”

Tyler giggled. “It’s a little mushy, but I don’t think there’s anything bad about.”

Ryan heaved a relieved sigh. “Cool, ‘cause I didn’t think so either…" He bit his lip and scuffed his socked foot against the tiled floor. "And it is kind of romantic. If you like that sorta thing.”

Tyler cleared his throat, feeling the red rising in his cheeks. “I guess. It was more like it was… inevitable,” he said, the same time as Ryan murmured, “… meant to be.”

“Forever and always," Tyler agreed, grinning as a thought suddenly occurred to him, and elbowed Ryan in the stomach. “Dude, you know what this means, right?”

“We’re gonna be…” Ryan grinned right back at him, both of them speaking at once.

“Brothers.”

They bumped fists and did a quiet little happy dance, both of them busting out some truly dorky dance moves; they may even have bumped butts, but no one saw it, so it totally didn’t happen.

“Wait!” Ryan suddenly said, looking at him in horror. “How do we know they’re gonna get married?”

“Puh-lease,” Tyler scoffed. “Daddy was looking at Jared like he hung the moon.”

Ryan snorted softly. “Kinda like you look at X.”

“Which is exactly like you look at Cat.” Tyler smirked when the smile momentarily slipped off Ryan’s face.

“Shut up.” Ryan looked towards the kitchen doorway. “I’ve never seen Dad look at anyone like that before, like he’s… enchanted.”

“Totally,” Tyler nodded in sage agreement. “They're spellbound.”

“It’s like a Disney movie, dude.”

“And those always end in happily-ever-after!”

Ryan smiled goofily and Tyler couldn’t help but return it. “It’s in the bag. How do we do this?”

Tyler’s face scrunched up in thought. “Follow my lead.”



Jared kissed the delectable nape of Jensen’s neck one more time as he flipped the last of the pancakes onto a plate and placed them on the kitchen island just before turning off the heat and turning into Jared’s embrace, his arms winding around Jared’s neck, fingers burying themselves in his hair as he kissed him.

“I could get used to this,” Jared murmured against Jensen’s mouth, in between tiny little of kisses.

“I’m not making you pancakes every morning, Jay.”

Jared huffed playfully, biting Jensen’s bottom lip before soothing his little yelp away with a lick. “Why you gotta be so mean?”

“It’s all part of my plan. I’m gonna teach you how to make ‘em yourself,” Jensen told him, smirking, “then maybe I can sleep in once in a while, and you can bring me breakfast in bed.”

“You’re evil.”

“I’m adorable.”

“Yeah, you are,” Jared agreed with a sigh, his thumb grazing the smooth skin of Jensen’s jaw. He smirked, recalling how they had woken up that morning, him hard from spooning Jensen most of the night, finding him still a little loose from their first time, unable to resist fucking slowly into him, savoring every thrust into his body as he brought them both to orgasm.

They had both tumbled into the shower shortly after, then brushed their teeth side by side at the sink, Jared teasing Jensen about how his beard hid his pretty, pretty face until Jen had just hopped up on the countertop and asked Jared to shave it off.

And who on God’s green earth could have resisted that request? Not Jared, that’s for sure, because while Jensen with facial hair was hot, clean-shaven Jensen was hot like the sun.

“We should go wake the boys,” Jensen murmured, distracting him from his exploration of all that soft, clean-shaven skin with his mouth. “Pancakes’ll get cold.”

“Mmm…” Jared muttered absently, continuing on his quest.

“Jay…”

“M’kinda busy, Jensen…”

Jensen chuckled, his voice rich and rumbling against Jared’s neck; it practically made him melt and he couldn’t resist mapping out a path to his mouth, moaning softly as they kissed.

Jensen just looked at him as their mouths pulled apart with the yielding plop of spit-slick lips. "I missed you every goddamned day we were apart." Jared swallowed at the quiet sincerity in his voice, his gut clenching because he knew exactly how Jensen felt; it had been the same for him. "There wasn't a time when I didn't think of you; some days, it was like everything reminded me of you, of us..."

"I know," Jared choked out, "believe me, I know exactly what you mean."

"I was a fool to walk away..."

"Yeah, and I was an idiot not to follow you and bring you back where you belonged." Jared soothed, his hands pulling Jensen even closer, their bodies flush, snug together, exactly the way they were meant to be. "But we're here now, Jen; that's all that matters."

"Yeah." The corner of Jensen's mouth tipped up in a rueful smile. "Yeah, okay. Enough with the past. From now on we focus on the here and now."

"Excellent idea," Jared agreed wholeheartedly, pressing his words into Jensen's lips with a kiss. "How about we focus on how we tell the boys?"

"How you tell the boys what?"

The sound of Tyler's voice caused them to spring apart in shock, both of them gaping as the boys scrambled up on the barstools on the opposite side of the kitchen island from them. Elbows on the countertop and little chins propped up on their hands, both boys smiled angelically at them.

Jensen sputtered, speechless, and even though he tried, Jared's mind blanked.

"Er..." he managed, ineloquently.

Tyler smirked. "New house rule: no making out in the kitchen. Kissing is cool, just not a lot, okay?"

"Yeah." Ryan grinned. "We eat in here. No mushy stuff."

Jensen's hand fisted in Jared's t-shirt, as if to stay upright, and Jared covered that hand with his, because hell if he wasn't feeling quite as steady on his feet either. Their sons, on the other hand, looked like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Like the sight of their fathers kissing each other in the kitchen was something they had borne witness to every day of their lives so far.

Jared coughed, mostly to expel the air from his lungs and continue breathing. "You guys don't want to talk about this?"

"Nope," came the response, in unison.

"Why not?" Jensen rasped, still looking a bit shell-shocked, his eyes flicking from Tyler to Ryan to Jared and then back again.

"Why should we?" Ryan wanted to know.

"Yeah," Tyler agreed. "We're cool with it if you are."

"And it's pretty obvious you're both cool with it," Ryan giggled, with a pointed nudge for his snickering partner-in-crime. Jared wanted to squish them both; they were so freaking cute and the fact that they seemed so okay with this... everything? Bonus.

It hit him right then and there that he and Jensen had done a remarkable job raising them right; it was an incredible feeling.

Next to him, Jensen took a deep breath and cleared his throat. "O-kay. Somehow I thought - and this is just a shot in the dark here - I thought, maybe you two might be at least a little surprised." He looked to Jared for confirmation and Jared nodded, first at him and then at their boys.

Ryan looked at Tyler who just waved his hand, allowing him to speak. "Dad," Ryan said, his gaze fixed on Jensen, and Jared's breath hitched in his chest. "Er... can I call you Dad?" The fist in Jared's shirt clenched tighter, and Jensen's features were stunned, but he darted a look at Jared and then nodded at Ryan. "Awesome," his son continued as if nothing significant and life-altering had just happened, "it's not like it's a big deal. Josie has two dads..."

"And this girl Angie in my class has two moms," Tyler helpfully supplied. "It's all good. A family is just a bunch of people who love each other a lot."

That, apparently, was what it took to propel Jensen into motion; he reached across the island and grabbed his son, pulling him up onto his knees on the countertop, close enough to cradle his face and kiss his forehead and freckled cheeks before yanking Ryan close to give him the same treatment.

And Jared was crying; screw his masculinity. Especially when the boys and Jensen reached out for him at the same time, pulling him into their little group hug, close and tight and a family.

It made Jared lightheaded enough to speak without really thinking about his words first. "Why don't we just get married and make it official?"

Three heads swiveled in his direction in surprised shock, and while the boys were the first to recover, completely incapable of holding their gleeful whooping back, Jensen just stared at him in stunned silence.

"Say yes, daddy," Tyler begged, just as Ryan pleaded soulfully, "Please, dad!"

Jared figured he should take a page from their book. He leaned in towards Jensen until their foreheads touched. "I love you, Jensen. Please say yes."

Jensen bridged the inch-wide gap between them with a kiss. "Yes," he breathed. "Please," he added with another kiss. "I love you, too."

Jared laughed through his tears, kissing Jensen deep, hugging him closer, and then kissed the tops of all three heads around him, chuckling when Tyler pulled back, his small hand trailing down Jared's face, wiping away the tears.

"You're such a girl," Tyler teased, smirking at an amused Ryan and pointedly ignoring the fact that his father was also teary-eyed. "I'm gonna hafta call you Mom." There was nothing for it; just as Jensen and Ryan burst out laughing, Jared playfully smacked Tyler's bottom.

Jensen turned on him, green eyes sparkling with mirth. "Did you just hit my kid?"

Jared pouted. "He's my kid too."

"Huh," Jensen grinned. "Well, all righty then..." He paused for effect. "Mom."

Both boys collapsed against Jensen's broad chest, giggling madly, and Jared... Jared joined in, quite unable to resist the temptation of Jensen's smiling mouth as he leaned down to kiss him. The boys actually snuggled into them and held on, their twin sighs of contentment going straight to Jared's heart. It lasted all of maybe twenty seconds before someone's stomach rumbled, and Jared was hard-pressed to figure out which one of them it had been before the boys pulled away from them, breakfast now foremost on their minds.

"Pancakes, daddy."

"Where's the maple syrup?"

"All right, all right," Jensen smirked, seeing to the boys' breakfast before refilling their coffee mugs, his actions already routine as the four of them sat back down to eat.

Tyler raised his glass of cold milk and motioned Ryan to do the same. "To the successful completion of Operation BFF."

Ryan clinked their glasses together as Jared and Jensen looked on in surprise. "To Operation BFF: way more successful than any of us could have hoped."

"Do we even want to know?" Jensen looked from one kid to the other.

"Probably not," Tyler responded.

"Yeah. We can't be grounded right now. We got practice and a big game coming up."

"Right..." Jared looked at Jensen who looked back at him and shrugged. On a need-to-know basis, apparently they were good with not needing to know this.

"So Pop," Tyler grinned cheekily at Jensen. "Are we gonna celebrate today?"

"Ooh!" Ryan jumped on the bandwagon. "Lunch at Red Lobster!"

"Oh man!" Tyler pleaded, "Please, daddy, please!"

"Yeah. Absolutely. We gotta celebrate," Jensen told the boys... their boys. "Make sure your homework is all done first, Ty."

"I'm on it."

Jensen looked at Ryan. "And what about your homework, squirt?"

"I have my backpack in the car."

"Get gone, then, the both of you. Finish it, shower, change and then we can head out."

Both boys hopped down from their perch on the barstools and headed out, Tyler looking back at the kitchen doorway. "Hey dad, can we take your Escalade?"

Jensen had to elbow him in the ribs for Jared to realize that Tyler was talking to him. Grinning wide, but still kind of speechless, he just nodded, biting his lip and refocusing on the love of his life.

Jensen, chin resting on his palm, and a goofy grin on his face that Jared was sorely tempted to kiss off - so he did - said, as soon as he was able to speak, "I was kinda hoping you'd wanna move in today."

Jared gulped, happiness filling his chest fit to bursting. "I... we can do that," Jared said. Jensen blushed, and then tried to hide his face in his hand, looking way too adorable for his own good. Jared wrapped his arm around him until their sides were flush against one another. "After lunch, maybe?" Jensen nodded. "Wanna come snuggle on the couch with me until the boys are done with their homework?" Jared asked, thrilled when Jensen nodded again and stood, grinning down at Jared when he tried to follow.

"Not so fast, sasquatch," he wagged a finger at him. "I cooked. Which means you're on clean up duty. Also, we have an entire driveway to shovel. This isn’t your fancy condo; gotta do it ourselves."

Jared bit his lip to stop from beaming. "That's the way it's going to be, huh?"

"Yup."

Jared moved fast, grabbing Jensen before he could escape, smiling down into his handsome face, trying not to drown in those gorgeous green eyes. "Yeah. Okay," Jared breathed against his mouth, their noses bumping. "I can live with that."