Jays2 (18/?)
Title: Jays2 (18/?)
Genre: J2 RPS, AU
Pairing: Jensen/Jared although - Heh! You know major league teams have 25-man rosters, right?
Rating: Adult
Warnings (overall): Language, Baseball, Schmoop, Angst, Boy-Sexin’ (wait, what kind of warning is that?)
Word Count: ~ 4,200
Disclaimer: Fiction not fact. All these beautiful guys belong to themselves. Jensen and Jared belong to each other, we all know that :D Only the words are mine. No copyright infringement intended for the use of the MLB teams/players/logos, the Toronto Star, or Rogers Sportsnet. This is for fun, not profit.
A/N: It’s all really always been boiling down to this *grins* I hope y’all like it. Enjoy! Comments = Love!
Summary: Jensen is in for the surprise of his life. How will Jared react though, and what does this mean in their fight for freedom? Desperate times will no doubt call for desperate measures soon.
| Master Post |
EIGHTEEN: A DATE WITH DESTINY IN DALLAS
Jared was easing fluffy chocolate chip pancakes onto a plate when Jensen walked into the kitchen the next morning. He took one look at Jared and glommed onto him, his mouth crashing into Jared’s in an exuberant kiss. Jared grinned into the kiss, laughing when Jensen growled.
“Careful,” Jared chuckled, “after all that cuddling last night and now this, I might think you missed me or something.”
Jensen bit his bottom lip so hard that Jared yelped. “Or something,” he teased unrepentantly. Jared stuck his tongue out at him and handed him his plate of pancakes.
“Here you go. Short-stack for my short-stack.” Jensen huffed out a laugh and turned to put his plate on the marble countertop of the centre island, dragging a barstool towards him. Before he could perch himself on it though, Jared spun him around and pinned him in place against the island, and this time when they kissed, it was slow and languorous, with breathy exchanges of moist air, and moans that emanated from deep within their chests, their hands lovingly framing each other’s faces. Kissing Jensen was as close to bliss as Jared had ever gotten in his life.
Needless to say, Jared found it really hard to focus. Pun wholeheartedly intended.
He drew back shakily, and smiled when he saw the dazed look on Jensen’s face as he blinked his eyes open and stared up at him. “What?”
“Nothing,” Jensen licked his lips, the corners of his mouth twitching humorously. “It’s just... I keep forgetting.”
“Forgetting what?”
“It’s funny kissing you.”
Jared frowned, not quite sure whether or not to be insulted, as Jensen’s body shook with mirth. “Funny ha-ha, or funny weird?”
“Just different... I have to look up, you know? I’m usually the one who has to bend down.”
Jared smirked at him. “Easily fixed,” he said with a laugh, effortlessly picking Jensen up by his waist and sitting him down on the countertop in a smooth move that had the man he loved gasping in surprise and then just blinking down at him speechlessly. Jared settled himself into the vee of Jensen’s legs and ran his hands along Jensen’s thighs, revelling in the feel of taut muscle under the expensive material of his trousers, before they spanned his hips. The new position gave Jensen a couple of extra inches on him, so he tipped his head up. “Better?”
“I love you,” Jensen whispered against his lips, his legs wrapping around Jared’s hips while his arms wrapped Jared close; a full bodied hug that warmed Jared from head to toe. “And I missed you. So much.”
“I missed you too,” Jared told him in between kisses and caresses and smiles, “and I love you too. So much.”
Jensen ran his hands through Jared’s hair, laughing when Jared’s stomach rumbled. “Eat up. The guys will be here soon...,” he started just as the doorbell rang. “Too late. Kiss your pancakes goodbye.”
Jared gave him one last, playful smooch before going to get the door. “I made extra, but you know Chad. Make sure you get your share!”
In a minute, the large kitchen was crowded with their teammates as they pretty much demolished the pancakes and the contents of Jensen’s refridgerator, which had thankfully been well-stocked just the day before. Jared leaned into Jensen’s body and swiped another bit of syrup-covered pancake from the plate he had ended up sharing with Jensen, and he marvelled at how intimate that was - sharing someone’s plate, their food. Sure, he and Jensen shared a bed - just to sleep and cuddle, of course; well, for the moment anyway - but this just meant something more; something Jared wanted to hold close to his heart and cherish forever.
He couldn’t help pressing a soft kiss to Jensen’s cheek. Jensen sighed and they nuzzled each other’s faces affectionately, neither of them noticing the sudden quiet in the kitchen until the silence became deafening. Then they turned as one to find the team watching them with unabashed avid interest - not to mention knowing smirks - and Jensen blushed; Jared didn’t even have to look at him to know, because he could feel the heat from Jensen’s skin where their cheeks still touched.
“Oh, halle-fucking-lujah,” Chad didn’t mince his words, “the fuckers finally got a clue.” He looked at Misha. “Can we return to our regularly scheduled programming now? We left hot, freaky babes and Miami Beach for these two lovebirds. Our work here is done, dude.”
Misha glared at him. “It’s not done until we get Jensen back on the team. That was the plan.”
“Speaking of plans,” Jensen ventured, clearing his throat and pointedly ignoring Chad’s comment, “what is your plan?”
“Not my plan,” Misha told him, “it’s Mike’s plan.”
Mike looked up from where he was lazily sucking on a wedge of orange, blinking innocently, and Jared had to stifle the urge to laugh. “Yeah. Plans. Big plans. Search-and-rescue type plans. You know, of the epic variety.”
“Oh God!” Tom exclaimed, his big hand smacking into his face as he slid down his chair, before he turned to Mike and practically snarled: “You don’t have a plan?”
“Of course I have a plan, Tommy,” Mike assured him, “we’re all here, aren’t we?”
“Yeah, okay,” Tom humoured him for all of two seconds, “what the hell were we supposed to do once we got here?”
Mike bit his lip, and looked so sheepish that he could have put the actual animals to shame. “Wing it?”
“Micheal!” Tom’s yell was drowned out in a chorus of groans from the rest of the team while Jensen just laughed, his head thrown back and his whole body shaking, until he ended up hiding his face in Jared’s shoulder to curb his amusement. Jared slipped his arm around Jensen and just savoured the feel of him, so head over heels for Jensen that he didn’t really care who was watching.
“You guys are awesome,” Jensen managed when he could breathe again, “but don’t be too hard on Mike. I have my own plan to get back to baseball. What I do need your help on is trying to stop this stupid wedding.”
“Dude, no brainer,” Jared vehemently declared and Jensen smiled softly at him.
“What do you have planned, Jensen?” Mike asked.
“It’s complicated, man, it has to do with my end of the business,” Jensen stated, “if it works, I’m free. It’s just that this is the way it has to be, you know? I have got to face my father on his turf.”
“Just remember that this is the man who sent guys with guns after you,” John reminded him, looking and sounding concerned.
Jensen smirked at him. “Don’t worry, kid. It’s cool. I have my own guys with guns watching them watch me.”
“Jesus,” Tom muttered, as Jared instinctively tightened his hold on Jensen. He had met and knew all about Jensen’s security detail but that didn’t mean he had to like it.
“So, do you guys have non-search-and-rescue plans for today?” Jensen asked them.
“Bunch of us are gonna check out what Dallas has to offer,” Chris told him, his waving hand indicating the majority of the guys, before suggestively waggling his eyebrows at their centre fielder. “Except for Aldis, of course.”
Aldis grinned goofily. “Beth said she would show me around downtown Dallas if I took her out to lunch,” he bashfully tugged at his ear as Jensen chuckled. “What? She’s freaking cute. And really sweet. And man, she was wearing my jersey. Damned if I know what’s hotter than that!”
“Tell her to take the rest of the day off when you go pick her up,” Jensen relayed, winking when Aldis lit up at that. “Helps that you’re friends with her boss, huh?”
“About time you were of some use to me.”
Jensen just smiled. “On that note, I better head out,” he announced, grabbing his suit jacket from where it was slung across the back of his barstool. “Y’all have fun now, y’hear.”
“Hey,” Jared called out to him as they left the kitchen, the guys very deliberately on their tail, “I’m gonna chill with Tommy and Mike but do you maybe wanna go out to lunch with me? Er... us?”
“Yeah, but it has to be later in the afternoon,” Jensen informed him, as Jared absently wondered how he could surreptitiously kiss Jensen goodbye. “I have some paperwork to sign off on this morning and I need to head down to the Dallas County Clerk’s office around eleven.”
Jared was a little surprised at that. “What for?” He raised an eyebrow when Jensen’s gaze became a little shifty. “Jen?”
“I have to apply for the marriage license.”
“What?” Chad shouted before Jared could recover. “Christ! Back to square one.”
“Jen, what the fuck are you talking about?” Jared demanded, whatever good humour he had vanishing.
“It’s just a formality, Jared,” he explained, as Jared tried to rein in his temper. “My father has this whole list of things he wanted me to take care of for the wedding. Legal stuff, and some of the planning. His people are keeping tabs on me, and you already know they’re watching my every move. I can’t let on that I’m deviating from the plan, Jared - then everything I’ve been working on gets fucked up and I’ll be screwed.”
“You seriously don’t know how much I wanna go ape-shit on your father’s ass right now.”
“You’ll have to take a number.”
“Marriage license, huh?” Jared accepted unhappily. “Fine, but I’m coming with you.”
“Great,” Jensen grinned at him, hugging him close and brushing his mouth with the lightest of kisses that still made Jared’s body heat. “It’ll probably require taking a number and waiting around for a while, so I wouldn’t mind the company. Will you meet me at the office?”
“Yeah. Like I said yesterday, Jen, I’ll be there.”
|*|*|*|
“Next.” The woman behind the counter of the Dallas County Clerk’s office called out. She eyed Jensen - who had been accompanied by not only Jared, but also Tom and Mike - with an inquiring eyebrow, before laying her spiel on them in a bored monotone. “Good morning. My name is Delores. How may I help you?”
“Good morning, Delores...” Jensen started, before the other three guys chorused their greetings too. Delores’ eyebrows rose another fraction of an inch. “I’m here to apply for a marriage license,” Jensen told her as he deposited all the relevant paperwork on the countertop in front of her.
“Same sex marriage is banned in the state of Texas. Next.”
“What?” Jensen actually did a double take as the rest of the guys sniggered. “No! We’re not getting married!” He darted an awkward look at Jared.
“Yeah, we’re already married,” Jared helpfully supplied. Jensen rolled his eyes but couldn’t prevent the smirk from forming on his face.
“Fake married,” he corrected.
Jared shrugged. “Semantics.”
Jensen sighed and turned back to the woman behind the counter. “I’m here to get a marriage license so that I can get married. To a girl,” he felt the need to clarify, seeing but resolutely ignoring the small frown on Jared’s face. “Well, a woman.”
Delores regarded Jared, Tom and Mike with mild interest. “Which one of them is the woman?”
Three manly jaws dropped as Jensen huffed out a laugh. “She’s not here. She’s in Paris. I have her proxy forms right here and all the other paperwork should be in order...”
“Let me be the judge of that,” Delores declared in a lazy drawl as she shuffled the pages around, giving them a cursory scan. “Looks like you have the right forms here,” she mumbled before pinning Jensen with her dark gaze. “So you’re not married to him?”
“No,” Jensen succinctly stated just as Jared, Mike and Tom said, “Yes.” In unison.
Delores grimaced and blew out a breath. “Well, which is it?”
“We’re fake married,” Jensen explained. “It was a prank.”
“You’re fake married.” Delores said it like fake marriages weren’t quite the thing in Texas, which, to be fair, Jensen supposed, was true. But he still felt the need to defend his... er... fake marriage.
“Yes. In Canada.”
Delores’ suspicious expression cleared up into one of derision. “Oh, y’all are Canadian.” She made it sound like an insult, and Jensen was affronted on behalf of the entire Canadian nation.
“No, I’m American. I’m Texan.”
“So, you’re fake married in Canada and now you want to get real married here in Texas?”
Jensen smiled. Delores was not so quick on the uptake, but who was he to complain? “Yes,” he said.
“No,” came the simultaneous response from the three morons standing next to him. He glared at them, and then realized they did have a point. He just wanted the license; he so did not want the accompanying marriage.
“Well, no, but I still need the license,” Jensen attempted to elucidate. Not surprisingly, it didn’t work.
Delores frowned. “I’m confused.”
“Join the club,” Tom quipped.
“When you say fake married,” Delores eyed Jensen shrewdly, “do you really mean gay married in Canada, but not here in Texas?”
And there was that none-too-subtle dig at his adoptive home country again. Jensen bristled. “No.”
“Yes.”
Jensen glowered at his companions. “Would you all please shut up?” He asked through clenched teeth, before turning a tight smile towards the woman behind the counter who, along with Jared and his teammates, seemed intent on turning his life into a farce. “We’re fake married - it was prank. A joke. A gag. We got punk’d.”
His sarcasm sailed over Delores’ head. “Because if y’all are really gay married in Canada, it still counts. So you can’t get married here in Texas without an annulment or a divorce, for which I would need to see the appropriate paperwork. Y’all should be aware that bigamy is a felony in the state of Texas.”
“I’m not married!” Jensen growled.
“Just fake married,” Mike helpfully pointed out.
“Fake gay married,” Tom obligingly expanded.
Jared thankfully stayed silent, so Jensen just scowled at the other two. “Will you both shut the hell up?”
He supposed it was too soon to reserve judgement on Jared, who chose that particular moment to point out, “If we were really gay married - these two would be like our bratty adopted kids.”
Jensen couldn’t help the stuttered laugh that escaped his lips. “We wouldn’t have bratty adopted kids.”
Jared looked aghast. And a little sad. “Jensen! You don’t want kids?”
“Of course I want kids, Jared,” Jensen quickly assured him, “I’m just saying that with us for parents, they won’t be bratty.”
“Oh,” Jared grinned, practically blinding Jensen in the process, “you’d be a great mommy.”
“You would be the mommy.”
“Me? No way. I keep telling you, angel; you’re the pretty one.”
“That may be, but have you seen your stupid foofy hair?”
Jared looked offended. “Shut up! You love my foofy hair!”
“Yeah okay,” Jensen smirked, “maybe a little.”
“Riiiight, that’s why you keep trying to yank it off every time we...”
“Jared!” Jensen blushed to the roots of his own - thankfully not so foofy - hair, before sheepishly looking at Delores who had been watching their exchange like a spectator at a tennis match.
“Are y’all sure you’re not gay married?”
“Yes!” Jensen vehemently declared, slapping a hand over Jared’s mouth before he could contradict him.
“They should be though,” Tom and Mike chimed in together.
Delores huffed in annoyance. “Let me get me get this straight.. er... I mean, let me get this right,” she shook her head as if to clear it before continuing. She pointed at Jensen. “You’re not married,” then she pointed at Jared, “and you’re not married,” and then she waved her finger at them both, “but y’all are fake gay married to each other?”
“That’s pretty much it in a nutshell,” Jensen told her. “It was a prank.”
“It was an awesome prank,” Jared expounded. “There was a wedding and invitations and presents and a cake with two little guys on the top. Oh, and steak.”
“Well, we’re both Texans,” Jensen imparted, as if logic had been the order of the day so far, “of course, there was steak.”
“Amen, brother,” Jared grinned at him as they fist-pumped each other.
Delores rubbed her temples. “Wait - now y’all are brothers?”
“No!” That was sharply stated by all four of them.
“Because incest is a felony...,” Delores began.
“...in the state of Texas,” they chorused.
Mike squinted at Delores, before snidely inquiring, “Is breathing a felony in the state of Texas?”
Delores narrowed her eyes menacingly at Mike. “Not for Texans.”
Mike blinked. “Gotcha. I’m shutting up now.”
“Good. Okay. So getting back to the point I was trying to make,” Delores spoke directly to Jensen, “neither of you are married but you want to get married to a woman who’s not here but you have her proxy forms.”
“Exactly.”
“Fine,” Delores declared and Jensen heaved a sigh of relief as she began inputting information into her computer. “You need a signature from a witness on this form, and I need to type in the witness’ name here. Spell it for me please; last name first.”
“Padalecki. P-a-d-a-l-e-c-k-i. First name Jared. J-a-r-e-d.”
“Okay. He’ll have to sign this form here,” she shove a sheet of paper back at him.
“No,” Jared suddenly spoke from beside Jensen. “No, Jen. Not okay.”
“What? Why? You’re just witnessing it.”
“I don’t wanna witness it, Jensen. I don’t want my name on that... that travesty. Get Tommy or Mike to do it.”
Jensen got it. He totally got it and he couldn’t blame Jared for not wanting to do it. “All right, all right, relax.” Tom was closer, so he pushed the paper towards him while he spelled Tom’s name out to Delores. She then gathered all the sheets together and set about stamping the shit out of them.
“It’ll be ready in a few days. You’ll need to pay the processing fee. It’s $41. We only take cash,” she stated officiously.
“Oh - er..., crap,” Jensen rummaged through his wallet, which though filled with gold and platinum cards of all the major credit companies, only yielded a couple of fives. He looked at Jared, who rolled his eyes and dug his wallet out to fork over the difference.
“For a rich guy,” Jared didn’t pull any punches, “you suck.”
“Shut up.”
“And here I thought I was getting a sugar daddy.”
Jensen snorted. “The amount of candy you eat, that’s literally a given.”
Delores cleared her throat loudly, in what was clearly a pre-emptive maneuver to curb yet another verbal tennis match. “I’m also required to tell you that if you take our pre-marital education course - it’s a five hour course offered by the Dallas County Clerk’s office - we will waive the fee.”
“You need to take a course to get married?” From the look on Delores’ face, Jensen supposed he looked as horrified as he felt.
Tom leaned in close, his interest quite obviously peaked. “Do you need to pass it to get married?”
Even Jared appeared intrigued. “What if you fail?”
“Texas makes things so complicated,” Mike declared with a sigh - only to find himself on the receiving end of another of Delores’ fiery glares. “You don’t like me much do you?”
“I don’t like any of you,” she snapped. “So - no course?”
“No course,” Jensen affirmed, handing over the money.
“Fine. The license will be ready in three days; it’s valid for three months, so you better get real married in that period.” She pushed a little appointment card towards him. “Here’s your time to come pick it up; that way you don’t have to take a number and wait in line.”
Jensen gave her his first genuine smile since walking through the County Clerk office’s door earlier that morning. “Thank you.”
Delores looked a little dazed. What? His smile had that effect on people. See Exhibit A: Jared Padalecki.
“No, thank you,” she assured him. “Most entertainment I’ve had all week. Next!”
|*|*|*|
Three Days Later
“You again.” Delores muttered when he approached her counter. The she smiled. Or at least Jensen thought it was a smile, and chose to appreciate it over being apprehensive about it.
“Yes, ma’am, and may I just say that you look lovely this morning.” Delores harrumphed but Jensen could see she was pleased. Score.
“Where’s your entourage?”
“After what happened last time? You’re kidding me, right?”
“Good point. All righty then,” Delores pinned him with her gaze. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t have you arrested right now.”
Jensen blinked, not sure if he had heard right. “Excuse me?”
“Did I or did I not mention that bigamy was a felony in the state of Texas?”
Jensen was flummoxed. “You did, but what has that got to do with me?”
“You’re married.”
Jensen groaned. Not this again. “I’m fake married.”
“Do you realize that you use the present tense every time you say that?” Delores looked him, her eyes sly and sympathetic at the same time and Jensen really didn’t know how to respond to that. “Yes, I noticed, but I didn’t think you had. Just thought I’d point it out.”
“Er... Thank you?”
“Mmmhmm. Back to the bigamy.”
“There is no bigamy.”
“Well, not now, but if I issue this license, there sure as hell will be.”
Jensen stifled the urge to fall to the floor and throw a tantrum. “What are you talking about?”
“After your little performance here the other day,” she stoically advised him, “I thought I would do some checking. Just in case. I take my job very seriously. This is about marriage after all - people’s happily-ever-afters are at stake here. Like this girl you want to get real-maybe-married to.”
“Of course,” Jensen said, just because he couldn’t really think of anything else to say to that, “I’m sure she’d appreciate you looking out for her.”
“I made a few enquiries,” Delores continued as if he hadn’t spoken at all. “Then I contacted Registry Services in Toronto.”
“O-kay.” Jensen had absolutely no clue what the fuck the woman was talking about. Luckily, she was in a sharing mood.
“Turns out you and Mr. Pada... er...”
“Padalecki.”
“That’s right - the tall drink of water you were here with the other day. The one you’re fake married to?”
“That’s him,” Jensen couldn’t help the fond smile on his face, or the way his nose crinkled just a bit at the mere thought of Jared. “He’s kinda hard to miss.”
“Mmmhmm. Turns out y’all are not fake married.”
“Umm, isn’t that a good thing?”
“Depends on your perspective. You see, y’all are real married. Y’all are real gay married. To each other. Forever and ever, amen.”
Jensen’s eyes grew wide as his breath stuttered in his chest and he lost the ability to speak. He gaped at Delores for a good thirty seconds before she actually reached out and pinched his hand. “Ow! Er... thanks. Wait. Just hold on for a second. That... that’s impossible. We’re not married. Jared and I are not married.”
“That’s not what it says here,” she relayed, tapping her screen with an acrylic fingernail.
“We’re fake married!”
“Lower your voice, Mr. Ackles.”
“Sorry,” Jensen apologized, immediately contrite, although what she expected when he was standing there slowly losing his mind, he had no idea. He tried again. “It was a prank!”
“Well, that’s for you and Mr. Padalecki to sort out amongst yourselves. As for the Dallas County Clerk’s office, we cannot issue you a marriage license unless you divorce Mr. Padalecki.”
The very thought of divorcing Jared was appalling; divorce and Jared didn’t belong in the same sentence where Jensen was concerned. “I can’t divorce him!”
“Then I can’t help you.”
Jensen gritted his teeth. “I can’t divorce him because I’m not married to him!”
“The official records beg to differ. And before you can think of taking this to another county? I put a note in the system right here. If your name comes up in a marriage license application, there’s a good chance you could be charged with a felony. Bigamy. Not everyone is as nice as I am,” Delores very kindly informed him after her rant, and Jensen’s eyebrows shoot up at that. This was nice? He shuddered to think of what constituted nasty. “Just a heads up,” Delores flashed a distinctly not-nice smile at him. “Have a nice day, Mr. Ackles. Next!”
“Wait a minute! Wait just a goddamn minute!” Jensen stalled in desperation. “There has to be some sort of mistake here!”
“There is no mistake, Mr. Ackles. I confirmed it and then, just for kicks you understand, I reconfirmed it. The papers were filed in Toronto,” she paused for the full effect, her teeth gleaming in the overhead fluorescent lighting. “Congratulations. You and Mr. Padalecki are married.”
“Says who?” Jensen practically sobbed.
“Oh, I don’t know, let me see here,” Delores deadpanned. “For starters, the City of Toronto. Also, the Province of Ontario. And oh yes, the Commonwealth of Canada.”
Oh God. Jensen raised his palm in front of her face to forestall her from speaking, and turned to address the poor bastard waiting in line behind him. “Next.”
|*|*|*|
Genre: J2 RPS, AU
Pairing: Jensen/Jared although - Heh! You know major league teams have 25-man rosters, right?
Rating: Adult
Warnings (overall): Language, Baseball, Schmoop, Angst, Boy-Sexin’ (wait, what kind of warning is that?)
Word Count: ~ 4,200
Disclaimer: Fiction not fact. All these beautiful guys belong to themselves. Jensen and Jared belong to each other, we all know that :D Only the words are mine. No copyright infringement intended for the use of the MLB teams/players/logos, the Toronto Star, or Rogers Sportsnet. This is for fun, not profit.
A/N: It’s all really always been boiling down to this *grins* I hope y’all like it. Enjoy! Comments = Love!
Summary: Jensen is in for the surprise of his life. How will Jared react though, and what does this mean in their fight for freedom? Desperate times will no doubt call for desperate measures soon.
| Master Post |
EIGHTEEN: A DATE WITH DESTINY IN DALLAS
Jared was easing fluffy chocolate chip pancakes onto a plate when Jensen walked into the kitchen the next morning. He took one look at Jared and glommed onto him, his mouth crashing into Jared’s in an exuberant kiss. Jared grinned into the kiss, laughing when Jensen growled.
“Careful,” Jared chuckled, “after all that cuddling last night and now this, I might think you missed me or something.”
Jensen bit his bottom lip so hard that Jared yelped. “Or something,” he teased unrepentantly. Jared stuck his tongue out at him and handed him his plate of pancakes.
“Here you go. Short-stack for my short-stack.” Jensen huffed out a laugh and turned to put his plate on the marble countertop of the centre island, dragging a barstool towards him. Before he could perch himself on it though, Jared spun him around and pinned him in place against the island, and this time when they kissed, it was slow and languorous, with breathy exchanges of moist air, and moans that emanated from deep within their chests, their hands lovingly framing each other’s faces. Kissing Jensen was as close to bliss as Jared had ever gotten in his life.
Needless to say, Jared found it really hard to focus. Pun wholeheartedly intended.
He drew back shakily, and smiled when he saw the dazed look on Jensen’s face as he blinked his eyes open and stared up at him. “What?”
“Nothing,” Jensen licked his lips, the corners of his mouth twitching humorously. “It’s just... I keep forgetting.”
“Forgetting what?”
“It’s funny kissing you.”
Jared frowned, not quite sure whether or not to be insulted, as Jensen’s body shook with mirth. “Funny ha-ha, or funny weird?”
“Just different... I have to look up, you know? I’m usually the one who has to bend down.”
Jared smirked at him. “Easily fixed,” he said with a laugh, effortlessly picking Jensen up by his waist and sitting him down on the countertop in a smooth move that had the man he loved gasping in surprise and then just blinking down at him speechlessly. Jared settled himself into the vee of Jensen’s legs and ran his hands along Jensen’s thighs, revelling in the feel of taut muscle under the expensive material of his trousers, before they spanned his hips. The new position gave Jensen a couple of extra inches on him, so he tipped his head up. “Better?”
“I love you,” Jensen whispered against his lips, his legs wrapping around Jared’s hips while his arms wrapped Jared close; a full bodied hug that warmed Jared from head to toe. “And I missed you. So much.”
“I missed you too,” Jared told him in between kisses and caresses and smiles, “and I love you too. So much.”
Jensen ran his hands through Jared’s hair, laughing when Jared’s stomach rumbled. “Eat up. The guys will be here soon...,” he started just as the doorbell rang. “Too late. Kiss your pancakes goodbye.”
Jared gave him one last, playful smooch before going to get the door. “I made extra, but you know Chad. Make sure you get your share!”
In a minute, the large kitchen was crowded with their teammates as they pretty much demolished the pancakes and the contents of Jensen’s refridgerator, which had thankfully been well-stocked just the day before. Jared leaned into Jensen’s body and swiped another bit of syrup-covered pancake from the plate he had ended up sharing with Jensen, and he marvelled at how intimate that was - sharing someone’s plate, their food. Sure, he and Jensen shared a bed - just to sleep and cuddle, of course; well, for the moment anyway - but this just meant something more; something Jared wanted to hold close to his heart and cherish forever.
He couldn’t help pressing a soft kiss to Jensen’s cheek. Jensen sighed and they nuzzled each other’s faces affectionately, neither of them noticing the sudden quiet in the kitchen until the silence became deafening. Then they turned as one to find the team watching them with unabashed avid interest - not to mention knowing smirks - and Jensen blushed; Jared didn’t even have to look at him to know, because he could feel the heat from Jensen’s skin where their cheeks still touched.
“Oh, halle-fucking-lujah,” Chad didn’t mince his words, “the fuckers finally got a clue.” He looked at Misha. “Can we return to our regularly scheduled programming now? We left hot, freaky babes and Miami Beach for these two lovebirds. Our work here is done, dude.”
Misha glared at him. “It’s not done until we get Jensen back on the team. That was the plan.”
“Speaking of plans,” Jensen ventured, clearing his throat and pointedly ignoring Chad’s comment, “what is your plan?”
“Not my plan,” Misha told him, “it’s Mike’s plan.”
Mike looked up from where he was lazily sucking on a wedge of orange, blinking innocently, and Jared had to stifle the urge to laugh. “Yeah. Plans. Big plans. Search-and-rescue type plans. You know, of the epic variety.”
“Oh God!” Tom exclaimed, his big hand smacking into his face as he slid down his chair, before he turned to Mike and practically snarled: “You don’t have a plan?”
“Of course I have a plan, Tommy,” Mike assured him, “we’re all here, aren’t we?”
“Yeah, okay,” Tom humoured him for all of two seconds, “what the hell were we supposed to do once we got here?”
Mike bit his lip, and looked so sheepish that he could have put the actual animals to shame. “Wing it?”
“Micheal!” Tom’s yell was drowned out in a chorus of groans from the rest of the team while Jensen just laughed, his head thrown back and his whole body shaking, until he ended up hiding his face in Jared’s shoulder to curb his amusement. Jared slipped his arm around Jensen and just savoured the feel of him, so head over heels for Jensen that he didn’t really care who was watching.
“You guys are awesome,” Jensen managed when he could breathe again, “but don’t be too hard on Mike. I have my own plan to get back to baseball. What I do need your help on is trying to stop this stupid wedding.”
“Dude, no brainer,” Jared vehemently declared and Jensen smiled softly at him.
“What do you have planned, Jensen?” Mike asked.
“It’s complicated, man, it has to do with my end of the business,” Jensen stated, “if it works, I’m free. It’s just that this is the way it has to be, you know? I have got to face my father on his turf.”
“Just remember that this is the man who sent guys with guns after you,” John reminded him, looking and sounding concerned.
Jensen smirked at him. “Don’t worry, kid. It’s cool. I have my own guys with guns watching them watch me.”
“Jesus,” Tom muttered, as Jared instinctively tightened his hold on Jensen. He had met and knew all about Jensen’s security detail but that didn’t mean he had to like it.
“So, do you guys have non-search-and-rescue plans for today?” Jensen asked them.
“Bunch of us are gonna check out what Dallas has to offer,” Chris told him, his waving hand indicating the majority of the guys, before suggestively waggling his eyebrows at their centre fielder. “Except for Aldis, of course.”
Aldis grinned goofily. “Beth said she would show me around downtown Dallas if I took her out to lunch,” he bashfully tugged at his ear as Jensen chuckled. “What? She’s freaking cute. And really sweet. And man, she was wearing my jersey. Damned if I know what’s hotter than that!”
“Tell her to take the rest of the day off when you go pick her up,” Jensen relayed, winking when Aldis lit up at that. “Helps that you’re friends with her boss, huh?”
“About time you were of some use to me.”
Jensen just smiled. “On that note, I better head out,” he announced, grabbing his suit jacket from where it was slung across the back of his barstool. “Y’all have fun now, y’hear.”
“Hey,” Jared called out to him as they left the kitchen, the guys very deliberately on their tail, “I’m gonna chill with Tommy and Mike but do you maybe wanna go out to lunch with me? Er... us?”
“Yeah, but it has to be later in the afternoon,” Jensen informed him, as Jared absently wondered how he could surreptitiously kiss Jensen goodbye. “I have some paperwork to sign off on this morning and I need to head down to the Dallas County Clerk’s office around eleven.”
Jared was a little surprised at that. “What for?” He raised an eyebrow when Jensen’s gaze became a little shifty. “Jen?”
“I have to apply for the marriage license.”
“What?” Chad shouted before Jared could recover. “Christ! Back to square one.”
“Jen, what the fuck are you talking about?” Jared demanded, whatever good humour he had vanishing.
“It’s just a formality, Jared,” he explained, as Jared tried to rein in his temper. “My father has this whole list of things he wanted me to take care of for the wedding. Legal stuff, and some of the planning. His people are keeping tabs on me, and you already know they’re watching my every move. I can’t let on that I’m deviating from the plan, Jared - then everything I’ve been working on gets fucked up and I’ll be screwed.”
“You seriously don’t know how much I wanna go ape-shit on your father’s ass right now.”
“You’ll have to take a number.”
“Marriage license, huh?” Jared accepted unhappily. “Fine, but I’m coming with you.”
“Great,” Jensen grinned at him, hugging him close and brushing his mouth with the lightest of kisses that still made Jared’s body heat. “It’ll probably require taking a number and waiting around for a while, so I wouldn’t mind the company. Will you meet me at the office?”
“Yeah. Like I said yesterday, Jen, I’ll be there.”
|*|*|*|
“Next.” The woman behind the counter of the Dallas County Clerk’s office called out. She eyed Jensen - who had been accompanied by not only Jared, but also Tom and Mike - with an inquiring eyebrow, before laying her spiel on them in a bored monotone. “Good morning. My name is Delores. How may I help you?”
“Good morning, Delores...” Jensen started, before the other three guys chorused their greetings too. Delores’ eyebrows rose another fraction of an inch. “I’m here to apply for a marriage license,” Jensen told her as he deposited all the relevant paperwork on the countertop in front of her.
“Same sex marriage is banned in the state of Texas. Next.”
“What?” Jensen actually did a double take as the rest of the guys sniggered. “No! We’re not getting married!” He darted an awkward look at Jared.
“Yeah, we’re already married,” Jared helpfully supplied. Jensen rolled his eyes but couldn’t prevent the smirk from forming on his face.
“Fake married,” he corrected.
Jared shrugged. “Semantics.”
Jensen sighed and turned back to the woman behind the counter. “I’m here to get a marriage license so that I can get married. To a girl,” he felt the need to clarify, seeing but resolutely ignoring the small frown on Jared’s face. “Well, a woman.”
Delores regarded Jared, Tom and Mike with mild interest. “Which one of them is the woman?”
Three manly jaws dropped as Jensen huffed out a laugh. “She’s not here. She’s in Paris. I have her proxy forms right here and all the other paperwork should be in order...”
“Let me be the judge of that,” Delores declared in a lazy drawl as she shuffled the pages around, giving them a cursory scan. “Looks like you have the right forms here,” she mumbled before pinning Jensen with her dark gaze. “So you’re not married to him?”
“No,” Jensen succinctly stated just as Jared, Mike and Tom said, “Yes.” In unison.
Delores grimaced and blew out a breath. “Well, which is it?”
“We’re fake married,” Jensen explained. “It was a prank.”
“You’re fake married.” Delores said it like fake marriages weren’t quite the thing in Texas, which, to be fair, Jensen supposed, was true. But he still felt the need to defend his... er... fake marriage.
“Yes. In Canada.”
Delores’ suspicious expression cleared up into one of derision. “Oh, y’all are Canadian.” She made it sound like an insult, and Jensen was affronted on behalf of the entire Canadian nation.
“No, I’m American. I’m Texan.”
“So, you’re fake married in Canada and now you want to get real married here in Texas?”
Jensen smiled. Delores was not so quick on the uptake, but who was he to complain? “Yes,” he said.
“No,” came the simultaneous response from the three morons standing next to him. He glared at them, and then realized they did have a point. He just wanted the license; he so did not want the accompanying marriage.
“Well, no, but I still need the license,” Jensen attempted to elucidate. Not surprisingly, it didn’t work.
Delores frowned. “I’m confused.”
“Join the club,” Tom quipped.
“When you say fake married,” Delores eyed Jensen shrewdly, “do you really mean gay married in Canada, but not here in Texas?”
And there was that none-too-subtle dig at his adoptive home country again. Jensen bristled. “No.”
“Yes.”
Jensen glowered at his companions. “Would you all please shut up?” He asked through clenched teeth, before turning a tight smile towards the woman behind the counter who, along with Jared and his teammates, seemed intent on turning his life into a farce. “We’re fake married - it was prank. A joke. A gag. We got punk’d.”
His sarcasm sailed over Delores’ head. “Because if y’all are really gay married in Canada, it still counts. So you can’t get married here in Texas without an annulment or a divorce, for which I would need to see the appropriate paperwork. Y’all should be aware that bigamy is a felony in the state of Texas.”
“I’m not married!” Jensen growled.
“Just fake married,” Mike helpfully pointed out.
“Fake gay married,” Tom obligingly expanded.
Jared thankfully stayed silent, so Jensen just scowled at the other two. “Will you both shut the hell up?”
He supposed it was too soon to reserve judgement on Jared, who chose that particular moment to point out, “If we were really gay married - these two would be like our bratty adopted kids.”
Jensen couldn’t help the stuttered laugh that escaped his lips. “We wouldn’t have bratty adopted kids.”
Jared looked aghast. And a little sad. “Jensen! You don’t want kids?”
“Of course I want kids, Jared,” Jensen quickly assured him, “I’m just saying that with us for parents, they won’t be bratty.”
“Oh,” Jared grinned, practically blinding Jensen in the process, “you’d be a great mommy.”
“You would be the mommy.”
“Me? No way. I keep telling you, angel; you’re the pretty one.”
“That may be, but have you seen your stupid foofy hair?”
Jared looked offended. “Shut up! You love my foofy hair!”
“Yeah okay,” Jensen smirked, “maybe a little.”
“Riiiight, that’s why you keep trying to yank it off every time we...”
“Jared!” Jensen blushed to the roots of his own - thankfully not so foofy - hair, before sheepishly looking at Delores who had been watching their exchange like a spectator at a tennis match.
“Are y’all sure you’re not gay married?”
“Yes!” Jensen vehemently declared, slapping a hand over Jared’s mouth before he could contradict him.
“They should be though,” Tom and Mike chimed in together.
Delores huffed in annoyance. “Let me get me get this straight.. er... I mean, let me get this right,” she shook her head as if to clear it before continuing. She pointed at Jensen. “You’re not married,” then she pointed at Jared, “and you’re not married,” and then she waved her finger at them both, “but y’all are fake gay married to each other?”
“That’s pretty much it in a nutshell,” Jensen told her. “It was a prank.”
“It was an awesome prank,” Jared expounded. “There was a wedding and invitations and presents and a cake with two little guys on the top. Oh, and steak.”
“Well, we’re both Texans,” Jensen imparted, as if logic had been the order of the day so far, “of course, there was steak.”
“Amen, brother,” Jared grinned at him as they fist-pumped each other.
Delores rubbed her temples. “Wait - now y’all are brothers?”
“No!” That was sharply stated by all four of them.
“Because incest is a felony...,” Delores began.
“...in the state of Texas,” they chorused.
Mike squinted at Delores, before snidely inquiring, “Is breathing a felony in the state of Texas?”
Delores narrowed her eyes menacingly at Mike. “Not for Texans.”
Mike blinked. “Gotcha. I’m shutting up now.”
“Good. Okay. So getting back to the point I was trying to make,” Delores spoke directly to Jensen, “neither of you are married but you want to get married to a woman who’s not here but you have her proxy forms.”
“Exactly.”
“Fine,” Delores declared and Jensen heaved a sigh of relief as she began inputting information into her computer. “You need a signature from a witness on this form, and I need to type in the witness’ name here. Spell it for me please; last name first.”
“Padalecki. P-a-d-a-l-e-c-k-i. First name Jared. J-a-r-e-d.”
“Okay. He’ll have to sign this form here,” she shove a sheet of paper back at him.
“No,” Jared suddenly spoke from beside Jensen. “No, Jen. Not okay.”
“What? Why? You’re just witnessing it.”
“I don’t wanna witness it, Jensen. I don’t want my name on that... that travesty. Get Tommy or Mike to do it.”
Jensen got it. He totally got it and he couldn’t blame Jared for not wanting to do it. “All right, all right, relax.” Tom was closer, so he pushed the paper towards him while he spelled Tom’s name out to Delores. She then gathered all the sheets together and set about stamping the shit out of them.
“It’ll be ready in a few days. You’ll need to pay the processing fee. It’s $41. We only take cash,” she stated officiously.
“Oh - er..., crap,” Jensen rummaged through his wallet, which though filled with gold and platinum cards of all the major credit companies, only yielded a couple of fives. He looked at Jared, who rolled his eyes and dug his wallet out to fork over the difference.
“For a rich guy,” Jared didn’t pull any punches, “you suck.”
“Shut up.”
“And here I thought I was getting a sugar daddy.”
Jensen snorted. “The amount of candy you eat, that’s literally a given.”
Delores cleared her throat loudly, in what was clearly a pre-emptive maneuver to curb yet another verbal tennis match. “I’m also required to tell you that if you take our pre-marital education course - it’s a five hour course offered by the Dallas County Clerk’s office - we will waive the fee.”
“You need to take a course to get married?” From the look on Delores’ face, Jensen supposed he looked as horrified as he felt.
Tom leaned in close, his interest quite obviously peaked. “Do you need to pass it to get married?”
Even Jared appeared intrigued. “What if you fail?”
“Texas makes things so complicated,” Mike declared with a sigh - only to find himself on the receiving end of another of Delores’ fiery glares. “You don’t like me much do you?”
“I don’t like any of you,” she snapped. “So - no course?”
“No course,” Jensen affirmed, handing over the money.
“Fine. The license will be ready in three days; it’s valid for three months, so you better get real married in that period.” She pushed a little appointment card towards him. “Here’s your time to come pick it up; that way you don’t have to take a number and wait in line.”
Jensen gave her his first genuine smile since walking through the County Clerk office’s door earlier that morning. “Thank you.”
Delores looked a little dazed. What? His smile had that effect on people. See Exhibit A: Jared Padalecki.
“No, thank you,” she assured him. “Most entertainment I’ve had all week. Next!”
|*|*|*|
Three Days Later
“You again.” Delores muttered when he approached her counter. The she smiled. Or at least Jensen thought it was a smile, and chose to appreciate it over being apprehensive about it.
“Yes, ma’am, and may I just say that you look lovely this morning.” Delores harrumphed but Jensen could see she was pleased. Score.
“Where’s your entourage?”
“After what happened last time? You’re kidding me, right?”
“Good point. All righty then,” Delores pinned him with her gaze. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t have you arrested right now.”
Jensen blinked, not sure if he had heard right. “Excuse me?”
“Did I or did I not mention that bigamy was a felony in the state of Texas?”
Jensen was flummoxed. “You did, but what has that got to do with me?”
“You’re married.”
Jensen groaned. Not this again. “I’m fake married.”
“Do you realize that you use the present tense every time you say that?” Delores looked him, her eyes sly and sympathetic at the same time and Jensen really didn’t know how to respond to that. “Yes, I noticed, but I didn’t think you had. Just thought I’d point it out.”
“Er... Thank you?”
“Mmmhmm. Back to the bigamy.”
“There is no bigamy.”
“Well, not now, but if I issue this license, there sure as hell will be.”
Jensen stifled the urge to fall to the floor and throw a tantrum. “What are you talking about?”
“After your little performance here the other day,” she stoically advised him, “I thought I would do some checking. Just in case. I take my job very seriously. This is about marriage after all - people’s happily-ever-afters are at stake here. Like this girl you want to get real-maybe-married to.”
“Of course,” Jensen said, just because he couldn’t really think of anything else to say to that, “I’m sure she’d appreciate you looking out for her.”
“I made a few enquiries,” Delores continued as if he hadn’t spoken at all. “Then I contacted Registry Services in Toronto.”
“O-kay.” Jensen had absolutely no clue what the fuck the woman was talking about. Luckily, she was in a sharing mood.
“Turns out you and Mr. Pada... er...”
“Padalecki.”
“That’s right - the tall drink of water you were here with the other day. The one you’re fake married to?”
“That’s him,” Jensen couldn’t help the fond smile on his face, or the way his nose crinkled just a bit at the mere thought of Jared. “He’s kinda hard to miss.”
“Mmmhmm. Turns out y’all are not fake married.”
“Umm, isn’t that a good thing?”
“Depends on your perspective. You see, y’all are real married. Y’all are real gay married. To each other. Forever and ever, amen.”
Jensen’s eyes grew wide as his breath stuttered in his chest and he lost the ability to speak. He gaped at Delores for a good thirty seconds before she actually reached out and pinched his hand. “Ow! Er... thanks. Wait. Just hold on for a second. That... that’s impossible. We’re not married. Jared and I are not married.”
“That’s not what it says here,” she relayed, tapping her screen with an acrylic fingernail.
“We’re fake married!”
“Lower your voice, Mr. Ackles.”
“Sorry,” Jensen apologized, immediately contrite, although what she expected when he was standing there slowly losing his mind, he had no idea. He tried again. “It was a prank!”
“Well, that’s for you and Mr. Padalecki to sort out amongst yourselves. As for the Dallas County Clerk’s office, we cannot issue you a marriage license unless you divorce Mr. Padalecki.”
The very thought of divorcing Jared was appalling; divorce and Jared didn’t belong in the same sentence where Jensen was concerned. “I can’t divorce him!”
“Then I can’t help you.”
Jensen gritted his teeth. “I can’t divorce him because I’m not married to him!”
“The official records beg to differ. And before you can think of taking this to another county? I put a note in the system right here. If your name comes up in a marriage license application, there’s a good chance you could be charged with a felony. Bigamy. Not everyone is as nice as I am,” Delores very kindly informed him after her rant, and Jensen’s eyebrows shoot up at that. This was nice? He shuddered to think of what constituted nasty. “Just a heads up,” Delores flashed a distinctly not-nice smile at him. “Have a nice day, Mr. Ackles. Next!”
“Wait a minute! Wait just a goddamn minute!” Jensen stalled in desperation. “There has to be some sort of mistake here!”
“There is no mistake, Mr. Ackles. I confirmed it and then, just for kicks you understand, I reconfirmed it. The papers were filed in Toronto,” she paused for the full effect, her teeth gleaming in the overhead fluorescent lighting. “Congratulations. You and Mr. Padalecki are married.”
“Says who?” Jensen practically sobbed.
“Oh, I don’t know, let me see here,” Delores deadpanned. “For starters, the City of Toronto. Also, the Province of Ontario. And oh yes, the Commonwealth of Canada.”
Oh God. Jensen raised his palm in front of her face to forestall her from speaking, and turned to address the poor bastard waiting in line behind him. “Next.”
|*|*|*|