wow
So, a couple of days ago, I was not going to college. I had actually made it this far only to be defeated. I received my email progress report from FLVS.. "blah blah blah he will be dropped from the course." So I just kind of figure, cut myself a break for once and give up. I can take off a semester. Or maybe put more time into working, get the money to buy a mello, and join the Marine band. But why is it the phrasing was future tense rather than past or present? So fine, opportunity is violently knocking; I am still able to log in and complete work. So, I stay up half of Wednesday night doing this, go to bed around 3ish. I probably wouldn't have even woken up to my alarm for school had I not received a phone call... which only woke me up the second time she attempted calling. Last night.. well, this morning, I continued doing this, went to bed at 5, pretty much fell asleep in time for a cat nap before school...
First period, we're supposedly not allowed to sleep. Whatever. I finished my freshman work in about five minutes and stuck my face on my desk. I didn't have the energy to hold my head up in second period for long, but I can't bring myself to fall asleep in Ms. Ledman's class. She knows I was listening. Third period I spent with Mr. Hudson making fun of the guidance couselors and how the stupid financial aid video they showed us actually violated separation of church and state, while simultaneously providing no information whatsoever. Fourth period. AP calc. This morning, Okun actually commented, "I notice you took a nap yesterday.. hopefully you got the proper rest last night." I looked at him with what I'm pretty sure were blood shot eyes and just told him that I went to bed at 5 am. He just said, "I don't know what you have going on, but it is your grade." I tried like hell to stay awake today. No avail. But I have at least gathered how integration works, and how derivitizing and integrating transposes velocity into time and initial starting point, and that damn it, you'd better remember that + C when you integrate any f(x).
So I just go straight home after school and take a nap for an hour before I had to go to work. We've never been as busy as we were tonight in the entire time I have worked there. Whatever. Another nine hour shift without a break. I finally get home around 2, get in and out of the shower, and look around my inbox. Two emails that collectively scare the shit out of me. A livejournal entry that exacerbates the feeling. So fine, it's 2:30 in the morning, not much I can do about it, so I will deal with it tomorrow.
Tomorrow, I go back to work at 9 in the morning for a meeting... well, less than six hours from right now. Fine. I get out, hopefully address the subject of one of the aforementioned emails, come home, and do more spanish. At the rate at which I have started getting back into it, I can have the course finished in about ten days. Which I had better, because adult ed starts on the 26th of this month. So I may not have completely screwed myself on college after all. Anyways, after this, my work schedule is as follows:
Saturday (today): 4:30 - 11:00
Sunday: 5:00 - 9:00
Monday: off
Tuesday: 5:00 - 9:30
Wednesday: 5:00 - 9:00
Thursday: 5:00 - 9:30
Friday: 5:00 - 2:00 am
Saturday: 5:00 - 9:00
Sunday: 12:00 - 9:00
All of this while doing spanish, bringing up my grade in AP Lit, AP calc, and not starting off badly in AP Gov. And hopefully practicing my solo for horn, because I will not forgive myself if I have to DNA this one. Hell, I will probably not forgive myself if I get anything less than a superior.
So, there is no longer any need to ask me, "how are you?" The answer is stressed and tired. There is no reason to ask me, "what are you doing tonight?" The answer is not hanging out with you, nor is it catching up on sleep, or getting more than an hour or two of sleep period. So, I apologize in advance, for being sarcastic, forgetful, and stand-offish. I don't mean it. I am just stretched very, very thin. That being said, I would also rather not have anyone call me just to chat. I am sorry, but I don't have time, or likely the energy to coodinate breathing and moving my lips. The people that I love know that I love them and have no reason to feel put off or worried about losing touch. I am not going anywhere. Or, if I do turn up missing, I guarantee I will turn up at pizza hut within 12 hours.
Also...
*I will sooner let it all kill me than give up. I will never, ever give up, not when there's so much to lose. I think I've proven at least that much by now*
Finally, I would apologize for this entry being so long, but it's my journal, and this is apparently what I have it for. Also, in being considerate to those who may actually be interested in reading, I utilized paragraph form to make it less of a headache... on you, and on me when I go back to read this sometime in the not too distant future. In the meantime, I am going to stop robbing myself of the skosh of sleep I should be getting right now. It's kind of nice to get all this crap in text form and out of my mind.. Goodnight.
First period, we're supposedly not allowed to sleep. Whatever. I finished my freshman work in about five minutes and stuck my face on my desk. I didn't have the energy to hold my head up in second period for long, but I can't bring myself to fall asleep in Ms. Ledman's class. She knows I was listening. Third period I spent with Mr. Hudson making fun of the guidance couselors and how the stupid financial aid video they showed us actually violated separation of church and state, while simultaneously providing no information whatsoever. Fourth period. AP calc. This morning, Okun actually commented, "I notice you took a nap yesterday.. hopefully you got the proper rest last night." I looked at him with what I'm pretty sure were blood shot eyes and just told him that I went to bed at 5 am. He just said, "I don't know what you have going on, but it is your grade." I tried like hell to stay awake today. No avail. But I have at least gathered how integration works, and how derivitizing and integrating transposes velocity into time and initial starting point, and that damn it, you'd better remember that + C when you integrate any f(x).
So I just go straight home after school and take a nap for an hour before I had to go to work. We've never been as busy as we were tonight in the entire time I have worked there. Whatever. Another nine hour shift without a break. I finally get home around 2, get in and out of the shower, and look around my inbox. Two emails that collectively scare the shit out of me. A livejournal entry that exacerbates the feeling. So fine, it's 2:30 in the morning, not much I can do about it, so I will deal with it tomorrow.
Tomorrow, I go back to work at 9 in the morning for a meeting... well, less than six hours from right now. Fine. I get out, hopefully address the subject of one of the aforementioned emails, come home, and do more spanish. At the rate at which I have started getting back into it, I can have the course finished in about ten days. Which I had better, because adult ed starts on the 26th of this month. So I may not have completely screwed myself on college after all. Anyways, after this, my work schedule is as follows:
Saturday (today): 4:30 - 11:00
Sunday: 5:00 - 9:00
Monday: off
Tuesday: 5:00 - 9:30
Wednesday: 5:00 - 9:00
Thursday: 5:00 - 9:30
Friday: 5:00 - 2:00 am
Saturday: 5:00 - 9:00
Sunday: 12:00 - 9:00
All of this while doing spanish, bringing up my grade in AP Lit, AP calc, and not starting off badly in AP Gov. And hopefully practicing my solo for horn, because I will not forgive myself if I have to DNA this one. Hell, I will probably not forgive myself if I get anything less than a superior.
So, there is no longer any need to ask me, "how are you?" The answer is stressed and tired. There is no reason to ask me, "what are you doing tonight?" The answer is not hanging out with you, nor is it catching up on sleep, or getting more than an hour or two of sleep period. So, I apologize in advance, for being sarcastic, forgetful, and stand-offish. I don't mean it. I am just stretched very, very thin. That being said, I would also rather not have anyone call me just to chat. I am sorry, but I don't have time, or likely the energy to coodinate breathing and moving my lips. The people that I love know that I love them and have no reason to feel put off or worried about losing touch. I am not going anywhere. Or, if I do turn up missing, I guarantee I will turn up at pizza hut within 12 hours.
Also...
*I will sooner let it all kill me than give up. I will never, ever give up, not when there's so much to lose. I think I've proven at least that much by now*
Finally, I would apologize for this entry being so long, but it's my journal, and this is apparently what I have it for. Also, in being considerate to those who may actually be interested in reading, I utilized paragraph form to make it less of a headache... on you, and on me when I go back to read this sometime in the not too distant future. In the meantime, I am going to stop robbing myself of the skosh of sleep I should be getting right now. It's kind of nice to get all this crap in text form and out of my mind.. Goodnight.