(no subject)
so i've just gotten back from an all nighter with my very dear friend blake. we sat and talked people were around and honestly, i feel honest. like as if you were to ask me any question right now i could answer it truthfully. the pain that entails i realize now, the burden of having truth on yourside. as humans we're not ones to handle that kind of knowledge, well in the sense complete truth in the whole aspect of things. think yourself more strong willed, thats fine, but at the end of the day, in my eyes atleast, your still fooling yourself. to be able to take knowledge in a whole aspect regardless of how cruel or great it is. is too overwhelming in the human conciousnes. now mind you yes i maybe drunk, (4 shots of yaeger, cheeseburger) but im not drunk enough to not realize that, nor am i saying that we need to be told lies. if anything im saying well im drunk and i feel the need to rant, i think the idea at first was to rant on god with specific points and what have you but, right now they don't seem important especially since, i know talking of it won't help me out nor change anything. if you'd like to know ask. i know im entitled to one drunk rant a month on live journal and i think today is the day i realize that im going to cash that coupon in. can you tell yet? yeah i can too. i don't know, at the end of the day i don't deny god for whats happened i just wish i knew what the plan was. regardless. im kind of stumbling over my words and i'm too impatient to re read what i've typed in any event, disregard this. all of it. perhaps im just a drunk guy who misses how things once were. maybe in a sober state i can make sense of all this. right now i just don't seem to care.