The Ultimate Office Space Moment

[the51ax0r]

The Navy has this thing called CMAT (command manpower assesment team) which is a veritable hairball of analysts and paperwork held together with sticky meaningless business buzzwords. We call them the Bobs, and they came through my workspaces yesterday. I'm at my desk doing my thing, rocking out to Scissor Sisters and deleting one of many unread

Comments

clarification

[jezebel01]

I really shouldn't be suprised that you didn't take my comment the way I meant it, and yet I was taken aback by your response. I sometimes (very stupidly) forget that we no longer have that innate understanding of one another that we used to share. It sucks, but it's to be expected I guess. At any rate, I would like to explain myself a bit.

The basis for my original comment was that as far as I know you were the only person to ever put any music on my Ipod; first you put a little bit of the stuff I like, then when you borrowed it for your trip you put all your stuff on it. I expected the answer to my question of where that stuff came from to be your creepy Purdue roommate who used to download strange things to your computer and that it had been left in as an oversight.

I meant it in a sarcastic/just giving you a hard time kind of a way; I know full well you're not a racist and I would figure that any friends that read your journal would know that as well. I am sorry for the confusion. You're probably right that we shouldn't be friends; I believe I've said the same a few times. I'm not sure what you mean about the way I've been acting; aside from this miscommunication I thought we'd been getting along pretty well.

Re: clarification

[the51ax0r]

I really should of slept on that response. I thought about it, but I'm not that clever yet. I also felt the need to quickly rebuke the charge. I don't know if you're aware, but Johnny Rebel is a very real douche-bag. I was horrified to hear that name and searched all my music for any mention of it to make sure I hadn't actually given or received that filth. If you follow the link above, I think you'll see what a serious accusation you made. I only hope you didn't make the connection...either that or you need to seriously reevaluate your sense of humor.

And you're right, I don't know if you're joking or not anymore. I don't know how to take you half the time. You can only get away with jokes like that when there is a foundation of trust. I think that foundation has been pretty well destroyed in both directions. For better or worse, we've both hurt and been hurt. It sucks. You've been really mean in the past, my first response to something like that is always going to be defensive. I don't want to leave myself vulnerable to you again. It's a big ugly change for us I know, but it's an unfortunate reality.

We were sortof getting along. I enjoyed your company that night I made Quesedillas. However, the memory of the day you came to tell me you'd made it into cat A is still fresh in my mind. And I'd be lying if it didn't bother me a little sitting around our old house with your mother the night before you went on your trip as you did what I can visualize all to well to the new boy. We're not completely okay in spite of our best intentions, not sure we ever will be.

We've both changed a lot since our relationship, we've also picked up a lot of assumptions about the other's attitude and character. It's easy to fall into a false sense of familiarity or old feelings. I don't think there is a way to throw them out, but I think we'd do better if we were both more aware of them.