Crazy Day
Well, today started out really shitty.
I thought for a while and i came up in my own stupidity to break up with James. My reasons, i'm not going to share.
It was painful, i was a wreck, crying. As was he. So then around 4, Steph took me to give him his disc man. He met me outside. I walked up to him and he took the disc man from my hands and threw it on the ground, grabbed me and hugged me. We had at that time agreed to be friends. He then kissed me and said "I'll keep my head up". I started to cry, and just walked away.
Then me and Steph went to Mixbreed's. Love those guys.
Left there around 6:30. Stalked some kid from Steph's past. Then round 7, i came up with this crazy notion to call Craig. So he told me he was playing a, ice hockey game in Feasterville. So Steph goes "Lets find it!!" So we search and search, ask around and what not. We end up at some skate place on York rd. There was sure enough men playing there that night, YET I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL THE KID LOOKS LIKE SO I WAS JUST LIKE GAA!! Oh my lord it was so cold in there. And i'm in summer clothes. But some very nice lady lent me her fleece blanket to use. We kinda gave up and left. He was there, i can feel it.
We came home and watched some HBO movie with my mom. Afterwards, we went outside to smoke a cigarette and she said she was going to bed. I wanted to go for a walk. So i tried to call James, his phone was off. It kind of just clicked in all at once, i really do love James, and tho there are things that bother me about us, and the way i feel. Hes been nothing but great towards me. I was stupid to even break up with him to begin with. I had had a stomach ache all day. So i just flipped and started to power walk towards his house. A little more then half way there, i called Steph and told her what i was doing. She told me that it was the right thing to do. She said i should go all like "teen movie" and have a sappy "please take my back speech." So i got to his house and i went around back and since he has an air conditioner in it, i didn't know if he would hear it, cause he was sleeping, but i threw pennies at his window, when i ran out, i grabbed a hold of my balls and walked around front and knocked on the front door.
One of his little brothers answered it (Keep in mind, this is around midnight) and then his step dad came to the door and i asked if it was ok if he let me in to talk to James, he said of course. So his other brother went and woke him up. While the other sat with me and told me all about his blanky (Twin 11y/o's) So i hear Marty's voice call me and i walk down the hall towards, James' room and hes standing in the door way and i smile. I walk in and as soon as Marty shut the door, i fell apart. My eyes were like a never ending fountain. And i confessed that i was a moron and that i had made the wrong decision and that a relationship should be serious and that i need to grow up with it and that i loved him and i was so sorry. He just grabbed me and told me he forgave me. We kinda just laid in bed for a while. Talked. He told me that he didn't believe his brother when he said i was here. And after all that, my 12 hr stomach ache went away. I was relieved.
Now there are times where things can sour. And there are times when you said "What if?" and Times where you just want to be alone, but i tell you, flying back into his arms tonight never felt so right, so warm. I'l seriously grateful and so happy. Everything is now in play. Thank you baby.
(Our song)
Coldplay ~ Yellow
Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah, they were all yellow.
I came along,
I wrote a song for you,
And all the things you do,
And it was called "Yellow."
So then I took my turn,
Oh what a thing to have done,
And it was all "Yellow."
Your skin
Oh yeah, your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful,
You know, you know I love you so,
You know I love you so.
I swam across,
I jumped across for you,
Oh what a thing to do.
Cos you were all "Yellow,"
I drew a line,
I drew a line for you,
Oh what a thing to do,
And it was all "Yellow."
Your skin,
Oh yeah your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful,
And you know for you,
I'd bleed myself dry for you,
I'd bleed myself dry.
It's true, look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine for,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine.
Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And all the things that you do.
I thought for a while and i came up in my own stupidity to break up with James. My reasons, i'm not going to share.
It was painful, i was a wreck, crying. As was he. So then around 4, Steph took me to give him his disc man. He met me outside. I walked up to him and he took the disc man from my hands and threw it on the ground, grabbed me and hugged me. We had at that time agreed to be friends. He then kissed me and said "I'll keep my head up". I started to cry, and just walked away.
Then me and Steph went to Mixbreed's. Love those guys.
Left there around 6:30. Stalked some kid from Steph's past. Then round 7, i came up with this crazy notion to call Craig. So he told me he was playing a, ice hockey game in Feasterville. So Steph goes "Lets find it!!" So we search and search, ask around and what not. We end up at some skate place on York rd. There was sure enough men playing there that night, YET I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL THE KID LOOKS LIKE SO I WAS JUST LIKE GAA!! Oh my lord it was so cold in there. And i'm in summer clothes. But some very nice lady lent me her fleece blanket to use. We kinda gave up and left. He was there, i can feel it.
We came home and watched some HBO movie with my mom. Afterwards, we went outside to smoke a cigarette and she said she was going to bed. I wanted to go for a walk. So i tried to call James, his phone was off. It kind of just clicked in all at once, i really do love James, and tho there are things that bother me about us, and the way i feel. Hes been nothing but great towards me. I was stupid to even break up with him to begin with. I had had a stomach ache all day. So i just flipped and started to power walk towards his house. A little more then half way there, i called Steph and told her what i was doing. She told me that it was the right thing to do. She said i should go all like "teen movie" and have a sappy "please take my back speech." So i got to his house and i went around back and since he has an air conditioner in it, i didn't know if he would hear it, cause he was sleeping, but i threw pennies at his window, when i ran out, i grabbed a hold of my balls and walked around front and knocked on the front door.
One of his little brothers answered it (Keep in mind, this is around midnight) and then his step dad came to the door and i asked if it was ok if he let me in to talk to James, he said of course. So his other brother went and woke him up. While the other sat with me and told me all about his blanky (Twin 11y/o's) So i hear Marty's voice call me and i walk down the hall towards, James' room and hes standing in the door way and i smile. I walk in and as soon as Marty shut the door, i fell apart. My eyes were like a never ending fountain. And i confessed that i was a moron and that i had made the wrong decision and that a relationship should be serious and that i need to grow up with it and that i loved him and i was so sorry. He just grabbed me and told me he forgave me. We kinda just laid in bed for a while. Talked. He told me that he didn't believe his brother when he said i was here. And after all that, my 12 hr stomach ache went away. I was relieved.
Now there are times where things can sour. And there are times when you said "What if?" and Times where you just want to be alone, but i tell you, flying back into his arms tonight never felt so right, so warm. I'l seriously grateful and so happy. Everything is now in play. Thank you baby.
(Our song)
Coldplay ~ Yellow
Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do,
Yeah, they were all yellow.
I came along,
I wrote a song for you,
And all the things you do,
And it was called "Yellow."
So then I took my turn,
Oh what a thing to have done,
And it was all "Yellow."
Your skin
Oh yeah, your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful,
You know, you know I love you so,
You know I love you so.
I swam across,
I jumped across for you,
Oh what a thing to do.
Cos you were all "Yellow,"
I drew a line,
I drew a line for you,
Oh what a thing to do,
And it was all "Yellow."
Your skin,
Oh yeah your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful,
And you know for you,
I'd bleed myself dry for you,
I'd bleed myself dry.
It's true, look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine for,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine for you,
Look how they shine.
Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And all the things that you do.