*~* why do i feel like this all of a sudden *~*

[the1uwant2bwit]

~*so let me start this off by sayin that he does not make me feel any of this its just a feeling i get ~ so i dont want this to sound like im blaming him because im not hes the best thing to come into my life ~ its just that i feel like im not good enough for him ~ i mean he wld give me the world if he cld & do anything for me like i wld for him so y do i feel so lazy ~ i see him with all of this energy playing with jayden & running around with him and all i can do is lay there and watch or lay there with my eyes closed ~ i feel like such a bad mother when i do that ~ do i rlly deserve him?? ~ what did i do to deserve someone so great in my life ~ i mean im not beautiful like all these other girls i see or the smartest girl ~ i have a baby which means baggage ~ i have to put my life on hold for my son & sometimes i feel like im holding him back from doing the things he wants to do ~ i see girls all around me & wish i looked like them because i have never been pretty before in my eyes ~ i think "why cant i look like that" ~ i wanna be good enough for him & he makes me feel like i am so why dont I feel like I am??? ~ i see the love in his eyes & i hope he sees the love in mine ~ i wldnt want anything to change between us ~ we can only get closer*~

~*baby i love you so much ~ your whats keeping me going right now ~ u asked me why i cant open up to you and the reason i dont is everytime i have in the past the guy has always left ~ im just so afraid that ur gonna leave for good ~ i know you have to leave come september but you know wut i mean when i say leave ~ i just dont want a repeat of past relationships because this is one that i feel is so right ~ i love u so much & nothing will ever change that*~