For in Darkness we grieve....
Wow, life is scaring me lately. I don't know where I am in mine. I don't know where I will be living next year, or even where I'm going to be going to school. Which scares me. For the last almost 18 years now, I have known for the most part about where I'd be living and who my friends were and how I'd be paying for things, etc. A few mix -ups in location and groups of friends over the last few years, but you get the point. I don't have a clue of any of this right now. Even as far as tomorrow, I don't know a lot about friends, I have a few people I can call and talk about anything, but for some reason I still don't feel like they're my "best friends". I get the feeling if I disappeared, they'd be sad of course, but would find someone new the next day. I don't feel like I'm someone special anymore, I don't feel like I'm something good for anyone. I don't think I make a difference in anyone's life at all. That makes me sad. I've never really known where I was going in life, don't know what I'm going to major in or even a hint of an idea at what career I might want or anything. But I always used to have the pleasant thought of oh well, my friends are all that matters now. Without them I'd have nothing, or I don't know what I'd do/they'd do without me. Not anymore. And it's tragic. I just want to lock myself up in my room. No one would miss me..would they? Well if you've even read this far, I'm sure it must mean something, because I've been babbling about my life, something none of you really want to know about. You've got your own lives to worry about. And on that note I will peace out now! If peace were only suitable.....