kahlua
This is definately new territory. I used to have people, and I still have people but....different kinds. No e-mails. No calls. No texts. No comments. No messages. It's very strange. I miss having people to tell my stories to. Even though I know they are stupid stories.
Some days I want to scream at the tops of my lungs how unhappy I am. What would be the point? It's not others problem to fix, it's my own. I haven't even decided if it is a problem. I'm so desperate sometimes. Every person that talks to me, I immediatedly have day dreams of us becoming friends and me being so grateful for their presence and we make plans and I keep thinking things will progress and then I snap out of it.
Maybe drinking alone is not the best idea for me.
I keep acting strangely. I get all awkward and insecure, like I need to impress people so they will want to be my friend...but thats just silly because then I'm not being me and so they wouldn't really end up being my friend, they'd end up being the friend of whoever I was pretending to be. I guess there is the root of a lot of my problems lately.
And now comes a proposition...I think I am being given a choice here...and I don't know whether to just say fuck it and go....or be the morally superior person that has been dragging me down forever, but that I may be grateful for one day.....I make no sense.
Some days I want to scream at the tops of my lungs how unhappy I am. What would be the point? It's not others problem to fix, it's my own. I haven't even decided if it is a problem. I'm so desperate sometimes. Every person that talks to me, I immediatedly have day dreams of us becoming friends and me being so grateful for their presence and we make plans and I keep thinking things will progress and then I snap out of it.
Maybe drinking alone is not the best idea for me.
I keep acting strangely. I get all awkward and insecure, like I need to impress people so they will want to be my friend...but thats just silly because then I'm not being me and so they wouldn't really end up being my friend, they'd end up being the friend of whoever I was pretending to be. I guess there is the root of a lot of my problems lately.
And now comes a proposition...I think I am being given a choice here...and I don't know whether to just say fuck it and go....or be the morally superior person that has been dragging me down forever, but that I may be grateful for one day.....I make no sense.