audition

[mjeevas]

The scene was dressed up like something out of a domestic advertisement. It was fake and showed a glimpse of something he wasn't actually offering, but there were enough snatches of reality in between to leave the future uncompromised. It wouldn't be anything this clean, this hopeful. The rooms were flooded with light and whatever warmth the

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[mjeevas]

Seconds trembled in expectation. Even the way the razor swiped down Leon's thighs and how the man forced himself to stay still for this excited him. The thought of humiliating Leon and forcing him to ask for more appealed to him more than he could understand, the silence between them full of lust and tension. He wanted to cover the man's bared skin with kisses or throw Leon out of the building and into the streets, naked and ridiculous, to put him where other men could suppress the man's protests with force and fuck him raw. His mouth came close to Leon's shoulder, his hand caressing up the man's spine as he got to his feet. Leon's request to be fucked was thrilling and he wanted to fuck him. He just wanted to continue degrading him more.

"I don't care if you can't wait. I told you I'd fuck you in the dress." He let go of Leon to set the razor down and step out. Unhooking the shower head, he turned it toward Leon, turning the water on to soak the other man again. Water licked its way down to wash the soap and hair down the man's body to his feet. "I want to see you in everything that goes with it too," he told Leon with a faint leer, letting the blast of water caress him briefly before he shut it off. "Make yourself into my bride and I'll fuck you like one." He left the shower head hanging from the hose and wiped his wet hands on his clothes. "Get out of there and go to the bedroom to dress."

It was obscene to think of Leon in the stockings and corset a bride might wear. The clothes had been brought for this purpose, the idea of dressing a man as a woman something he'd planned on, even if he hadn't expected to be so turned on by the idea as he was now. None of the men who'd come before Leon had been worth the bother. "Maybe I'll even call a judge down to marry us while I fuck you."

[lionguard]

It hurt so fucking badly to be denied. He pressed his face against the tile as the water washed over his skin and cleaned away the last traces of foam and cut hair, the spray of it between his legs making him twitch. He'd never felt need so strong that it was like a physical pain, never imagined that the desire to be fucked could be bad enough to twist in him this way like fingers gripping his intestines and he wanted to beg again but the words wouldn't work themselves out of him. Every time Matt spoke to him the invisible hand around his throat tightened and cut off breath and made him a useless, wordless thing, fighting to get his breath back, struggling with the effort just to ask for what he needed so fucking badly. Being denied was like a gut punch and knowing that Matt wouldn't stop making him degrade himself in the hopes that this man might finally fuck him made it hurt that much worse.

"I will," he said finally, through a dry mouth, because he'd already promised to do anything this man told him to. He'd already signed his body over to him and it didn't feel like an audition anymore. There wasn't anything he was trying to prove with this, there was only this man's hands on him and his words and the way he obeyed all of it. The idea of putting on a dress and the accoutrements of a bride and having Matt fuck him like one was still sickening, but he gathered himself and turned back and stepped out of the tub, moving past the man, going blindly to the bedroom.

He hadn't been in here before now but finding it was instinctive, the dress there on the bed with the things that went with it, everything feminine and twisted and he looked at it in silence for a moment before turning away. The nearby dresser took the weight of his body, leaned against his hands with the mirror catching his stare and he couldn't bring himself to do it yet, even knowing he would eventually. The man would probably come in to watch, anyway. There was a camera hidden in the mirror; it took him a moment to see it, designed like a piece of the woodwork, only a shiny black glass button staring out, seeing everything. There were cosmetics on the dresser and he flipped open a jar of lotion and wiped a thick dab of it over the tiny lens with his thumb. "It doesn't bother you to be watched?" he said aloud to Matt, his voice still tight and strained and he hadn't really heard the man come in after him but he thought he felt his presence there regardless.

[mjeevas]

It was intoxicating to watch Leon struggle with the idea of this. Having him simply agree wasn't enough, he liked the way it took Leon a moment to force himself to say the words and knowing the idea repulsed the man. It wouldn't have meant half as much otherwise. Making Leon debase himself like this was better than wasting the energy to do it to the man instead and it was so goddamn attractive, the way inhibition seemed to drag claws into hesitation and still end up smothered down in the name of lust. He didn't think about Leon's deal with the men who sent him here now, didn't want to think of it as anything but wanting between them. The desire in the other man was visible enough, drenching his voice and making him want to moan just to be close to him. He couldn't have made this easy for the man, not without cheapening the gesture. Fucking Leon without the clothes would have been meaningless, an empty fucking victory.

His eyes followed the man out the door and then he moved for another cigarette, more poison to inhale in the name of addictions. It was hard to break free, just like it was hard to keep himself from moving toward the room after the other man. He wanted to watch him force himself into the clothes. The room was lit only by the streetlights streaming through open blinds and he flipped on the lights to make the reality of everything inside of the room vivid. Insinuation existed in every corner, carrying it's filth and perversity in the various white dresses and clothing that littered the room. "I don't notice it anymore," Matt lied, watching Leon cover the camera. "They're not watching me anyway. It's you they're looking at."

He could have been any faceless cock. It was Leon who debased himself by being here. In a way, the camera was another thrill and another piece of blackmail to hold against these people if they chose to come back and reclaim their lost pride. "Step away from the dresser," he told Leon, exhaling cigarette smoke into the room. "Go back to the bed and put on the garter and the stockings first." He couldn't begin to imagine Leon in them but that only made him want to see it more. There were other tools for feminizing a man in the room, fake cunts to hide Leon's erection behind and to fuck, but he wasn't interested in them with this man. He didn't really want to turn him into anything. He just wanted to humiliate him.

[lionguard]

Every word Matt spoke seemed to settle at the top of his spine and then work its way down like fingers pressing along his vertebrae. They were left in the small of his back, in the pit of his stomach and in the way he was aching to have something inside of him again, to be roughly, mercilessly used. That hollow pain drove him away from the dresser when Matt told him to and he wanted to disobey but he couldn't have, not when desire was eating at his insides this way. It hurt so fucking much. He didn't have to look at Matt to feel the weight of his gaze or how much his own want was twisting in him and he wasn't trying to make this man marry him now, he wasn't doing anything but waiting to be fucked, obeying every edict in the hopes that the other man would give him what he'd promised. He went to the bed where the underthings were laid out, pulling on the garter first, rolling up the stockings one by one. The elastic of them pressed into the skin of his hairless thighs. Just the act of putting them on was choking him in humiliation and all he could do was try not to look at himself, to see his body incongruous with the white feminine lace, his cock heavily erect below the garter, his skin shaved strangely naked and smooth. He tried not to think about any of it, to just stare at a corner of the room and do what he was told because it didn't really matter as long as Matt got to see what he wanted.

Once begun it was easier to keep going. He put on the panties beneath the garter, his cock straining against smooth white satin. They were tight, they went between his ass cheeks and cradled his balls close to his body and he'd never felt so fucking emasculated. It was absurd, it would have been ludicrous if it were happening to anyone else, if it weren't so tied up in all of his goddamn fucking need. Disobedience or defiance seemed very far away now, like concepts in a foreign language; they had nothing to do with him when he was already so thoroughly used. He wondered briefly if they married if the man would make him do this every day, dress like a woman; he wondered what he would become if he lived as this man's toy every day for the rest of his life and the thought was so fucking terrifying that it dizzied him, his hands braced against the mattress for a moment, his body bent and his head hanging low and his lungs struggling for breath. He grabbed blindly for the next garment, the corset, turning it over and over in thick fingers that didn't know what the fuck to do with it and he finally choked out, "I can't."

Breath struggled in. He drew another, and another, until he finally had enough oxygen again to think and amended, "I can't put this on. I don't--I need your help with it." He glanced briefly at Matt but looked away just as soon.

[mjeevas]

Even just this half dressed sight of the man, caught in the stockings and panties made his mouth dry and his pulse feel like it was going to pound out of his control. His desire for him grew continuously, watching the humiliation writing itself on Leon made everything else feel unattractive and he did step forward to the bed when while the man held on to the corset as if he didn't know what he would do with it. He reached out, fingering the elastic of the panties, tracing beneath them along the man's ass, and he let go to take the corset from him, turning it and wrapping it around Leon's waist. "I wouldn't believe you to be a woman," he told Leon, "Even if we did paint your face like a whore and hide you behind dresses. But I still like the idea of it." He closed the corset around Leon while he spoke, tiny hooks meeting each other behind him and the urge to fuck him now was gripping him by the cock and making him nauseous with every attempt to hold back.

"Put on the shoes while I get the dress," he suggested, knowing Leon wouldn't be able to really stand in the heels long but it didn't matter. They didn't need to really move away from the bed. The urge to marry this man while he was dressed like this was a disastrous idea but he couldn't get rid of it either and he wished he had called someone over to take care of it so that he only fucked him as his lawfully wedded spouse. He kissed Leon's shoulder wetly, licking across it to his neck, and his fingers crawled down Leon's back to rest against his ass.

"I do want to marry you. I want you more than any of the others that have shown up here. None of them have been as satisfying to watch struggle like you are. I wouldn't be able to use them the same way I can use you." He let go of him, stepping away to pick up the dress. He wasn't very careful with it and watched Leon instead.

[lionguard]

He couldn't understand what it was about this that attracted the man, that brought him in behind as though there was a force of gravity between them to pull him, his hands on Leon's skin making him flinch with how badly he wanted it. It couldn't have been how he looked in these garments, there couldn't have been anything about it that wasn't absurd and laughable and ugly in spite of the way Matt's hands helped to dress him, closing the corset around his waist. It relieved him to let him do it, to clutch at the bedspread until it dented beneath his fingers and listen to the man and try to understand. He didn't, even after Matt explained why he wanted to marry him over the rest but he was far too deep in the thick mire of his degradation to see it from the other side. Breathing was something he had to concentrate on just to remember how to do it. The wetness of the man's kiss crawled along his skin and he closed his eyes against the urge to beg for touch, for any touch.

He remembered how to move when Matt stepped away. The shoes were already there at the side of the bed and he stepped into them slowly, the heels pushing him forward so that it was a struggle to straighten again and turn and reach for the dress that the man gave to him. It felt as though any moment he would forget how to stand, would go to his knees and not get up from them again, but he took the dress and pulled it over his head, the thing settling smooth and fragile around him, his body caught in the web of the other man's lust, of his lust, and he couldn't look at Matt looking at him this way so he turned again and went to his knees on the bed like there was a hand shoving him down, wanting to press his face into the bedspread until he choked on fabric. He thought about how he would tell him that this was enough, that he didn't want marriage, that the man could take his marriage and fuck himself with it because he was done with this, but nothing came, the thought was as useless and impotent as he felt dressed in the trappings of a bride. His fists dragged at the sheets and Matt's gaze on him was a weight he didn't think he could bear for another moment.

"Stop looking at me." The words were choked and his lungs felt as twisted up as the rest of him, every part of him in agony while he knelt there waiting to be touched. "I'll marry you, I'll do what you want, I'll do any fucking thing you want, just fuck me, just fucking use me, do what you said you would do."