audition

[mjeevas]

The scene was dressed up like something out of a domestic advertisement. It was fake and showed a glimpse of something he wasn't actually offering, but there were enough snatches of reality in between to leave the future uncompromised. It wouldn't be anything this clean, this hopeful. The rooms were flooded with light and whatever warmth the

Comments

[lionguard]

There was a moment with the handle held suspended inside of him when he thought that this man might stop, and the sound he made when it started to move in him was tight and choked and humiliating. It forced in hard and it was too fucking slick, thick with lube and too easy to move through him, the strokes of it long and deep and shoving him forward. His hands took his weight with every forward thrust, thighs spread and strained. No one had ever done this, had ever done anything like this to him, splitting him open with some foreign object never meant to be inside a human body. There was a wrongness to this fuck and it was crawling down his spine with the dull ache in his ass and the way his breath shuddered and tightened by alternate turns, every gasp, every pant audible in the too-quiet room.

He didn't want to take this. Whatever this man intended from this, he didn't want it and it was fucking with his mind, how it could be possible to feel so opened, so torn into, every sensation unraveling him with the way the thing fucked into him and fucked into him. He jerked again with Matt's hand on his balls, his cock, the caress of it almost soothing in some taunting way compared to how the mop handle split him apart. He wanted to tell him again to stop but his voice had locked in his throat. The sounds that came from him were grunts and thick moans, nothing that sounded entirely human.

The man's words stroked down his spine like audible caresses. He resented every implication, every way his body was warping to this fuck, heat moving endlessly through him. He was going to come, he knew that already and it was tearing him apart. "I've never wanted it," he said without forethought, thick and savage, his hands clenching into fists against the floor. "I don't want it now. I don't want you, I don't want this." He stumbled when Matt kicked his leg and went down on his knees, aching, his ass slick and full and there was too much motion in him, too deep to take. "Fuck. Fuck." He dropped onto his elbows, forehead pushing against the floor and he was coming in jerks of his hips, his semen spilling onto the tiles. 

[mjeevas]

He watched Leon's legs crumple, the man's body looking surprisingly vulnerable as it crouched down. The urge to rub Leon's face over the ground came and went viciously and he didn't know what it was about the man that made him want to keep him like this. Matt kept the mop lifted to force Leon's hips drastically high, watching how semen hit the kitchen floor from between the man's parted thighs. Instead of pulling the mop out of him, he continued to fuck him with it while the man came, half wanting to twist it to watch Leon's hips writhe along with it. He dropped it instead, watching it clatter to the ground while still shoved up the other man's ass and returning to the counter for another drag of the cigarette as if this had just been a pause, a commercial break, and not actually part of the audition.

"You're shouldn't really tell me you don't want to marry," he mentioned, leaning against the counter to watch Leon. "There's no point in choosing you when there are people who are willing to take what you can't. And you'll be going through all this bullshit for nothing if I don't choose you." Except picking Leon as his spouse would be the worst choice he could make. He needed people he could mold into what he wanted, not someone who was going to fight him as soon as they were married.

He didn't want him to leave yet though. The resentment in the man's voice felt like a challenge and he wanted Leon tell him he wanted to be fucked and mean it. "I could let you change your mind though," he said, throwing the words away like scraps. There was a knock on the apartment door and Matt glanced in its direction, setting the cigarette down again to walk over to Leon and nudged him with the toe of his boot. "If you're staying, crawl to the door and open it with your mouth."

[lionguard]

The handle fucked him raw through his release and he pressed hands against the floor and took it, his head hanging low, the sickness of having come so quickly crawling through him. He was gasping when Matt let the handle fall and clatter against the floor. His body throbbed, heat twisting through him in a sly, sinuous way and he hated this feeling that was like desire, prickling at him every time Matt spoke. The man had put his hands on him and he'd bent to him so fucking easily.

It was hideous. He had come here because he had no other choice, because it was marry this man or find himself knifed and bleeding out in a dark alley some nearby evening, but everything he said or did to him seemed like a threat not just to his life but to his mind, his sanity. His possession of himself. And the man was right, he shouldn't have said those words but the idea of taking them back was a horror to contemplate. Everything about this threatened to tear apart his illusions of what he thought he was. "I can take anything you want to give to me," he said instead, his voice ragged and sullen, and as he spoke he reached behind him to grasp the handle of the mop. It slid out of him slick and hard and his breath hissed in, releasing again when it clattered to the floor.

"Fuck," he muttered, staying on his knees after the knock. He wondered what would happen if he got to his feet and went to Matt now. He wondered what he would do. If he would try to kill him, if he'd be capable of killing him before he was killed himself. But there was no choice here, nothing he could do but what he was told and he didn't try to get up, turning instead toward the door, moving to it on hands and knees. It had a latch instead of a knob and he felt Matt's eyes on him with every motion, his teeth closing on it to pull until the door clicked and began to swing open.

[mjeevas]

He'd been attracted to the sight of Leon on his knees but his lust grew, attempting to drag all of his existence through its filth, while Leon crawled to the door. He wanted to make the man eat his words. It was the resentment that drew him in, he thought, but it was hard to tell for certain when Leon seemed instilled with the hint of a character he wanted to watch collapse. Fucking him with the mop wasn't enough, and neither was watching him swing the door open to let the person on the other side catch sight of him on his hands and knees.

It was a telegraph boy with a message in hand and his eyes grew fractionally in surprise but there was all forms of filth in this city and he seemed to grow accustomed to the idea in a matter of seconds while calling out Matt's name and presenting his message.

Crossing the room, Matt took the paper. It was a brief, cryptic note from the people who'd sent this man to him and he leaned against the door frame to read it out. It said enough and he crumbled it to let it fall to the ground before turning to look at the kid (he couldn't have been very old, even with the knowing street glint in his eyes), following his curious stare to Leon before motioning him in. "Have you ever ridden a horse?" Taking a step back, he nudged Leon a forward. "Get on."

"Must be the same as riding a bike," the kid noted, watching while Matt slipped a couple of bills out of his wallet and, bunching them messily, tossed them into the room. There was a visible debate and then the boy moved to clamber on Leon's back, straddling him. "I get the money after?"

"Ride him around the room a couple of times first," Matt told him, walking to where Leon had left his clothes and taking one of the man's belts. Coming back with it, he closed it around Leon's neck and gave the kid the other end. The boy looked greedily to the money, seeming to ignore he was on a naked man and not a horse. Snorting, Matt smacked Leon's ass. "Go."

[lionguard]

There was so much perversion in this. He didn't look at the kid while he and Matt spoke, tried to blot out the words, his very existence from a scene that was too sick for anyone to witness, let alone someone still young. But it wasn't out of place in this city, where filth lurked in every corner, even in a place as bright as this; he'd probably seen his fair share of obscenity before now. The lights streaming down from overhead made him feel like he was on a stage, a display made out of him in his exposure, the way he was crouched naked on hands and knees, struggling not to look at or acknowledge anything that was happening around him. But he tensed when Matt's foot nudged against his ribs and he told the kid to ride him like an animal.

He thought of getting to his feet then but one glance at the note Matt had let drop to the floor kept him where he was. It was those people, their messages, the sword he could feel hanging above his neck. It was one easy step to letting it drop if he didn't cooperate. He didn't want to die but he didn't want these perversions either, the dread of a marriage to this man that Matt had forced on him with the mop handle inside his ass. Nothing that was happening here that told him anything other than that this might break him, might tear him apart and he had no choice but to stay here on his hands and knees and degrade himself in every way the man told him to. Hope that he could bear the damage after it was done.

He didn't move while the kid straddled his back, every limb, every muscle rigid with tension. His head was bowed low and he stared at the floor and his hands were clenched into fists against it; he couldn't remember making them. He didn't look up as Matt crossed the room and went to the pile of his clothes on the floor. Lust felt so thick in the air he thought he might choke on it. It was a dangerous obscene feeling, filling him up, pressing outwards until his skin felt tight and chafed and he was hard again like he'd never stopped, swelling even more when Matt wrapped his own belt around his throat. In the kid's hand it felt tight and choking and he jerked when Matt struck his ass before moving forward. Slowly, a shuffle on hands and knees, his gaze low to the floor all the while. He made his way around the kitchen while everything inside him twisted and seethed and he could only hope that a couple of time would be all that was asked for, that this would be done as soon as possible.

[mjeevas]

The way Leon's fists had curled on the ground turned him on more than the man's protests could have done. It was an entirely different world, these humiliations that he pushed on people until they finally balked or satisfied his desire to see them dragged through everything his mind could think up. He stared after Leon while the man crawled and wished he had a strap on tail to shove inside of him to humiliate him further but he wasn't that fucking prepared. It was enough to stare at him though and know he was turned on by this too, the man's erection making his own pulse with need inside his clothes. "Go faster," he told Leon instead, lighting another cigarette while he followed after them, kicking Leon's ass when the man didn't move fast enough. "Show him how well you can run on your hands and knees."

He wasn't as perverse enough to fuck Leon while the boy rode him but he wanted to. There was a desire to catch his hips in mid motion and drag them to his prick and fuck him like the mop had fucked him. It was going to smother him with his desire for it but this wasn't how he intended to fuck this man, there was still more than this.

It was torturous for him too but every single audition had felt like torture while driving the men and women that'd come to see him through unexpected hoops.

After Leon started a third circuit around the room, Matt walked closer, reaching for the end of the belt the boy held and jerking it to a stop. He glanced at the kid and motioned to where the bills had been deserted. "Take the money and go now."

The child managed an absentminded pat to Leon's head before slipping off him and racing to the bills, scooping them up and disappearing, leaving the door gaping open behind him. Matt untied the belt from around Leon's neck, letting it drop and went to shut the door. "If you're going to play the part of my bride, you should probably shave," he told Leon when he came back, reaching around him to run his fingers over the man's erection, as if Leon needed to be made more aware of it. His fingers swept over the man's pubic hair next and pulled. "Or maybe I'll do it for you. I want to leave you hairless and fit you inside a wedding dress to see what it'd be like to defile you as a bride."

[lionguard]

The belt choked him, yanked hard in Matt's fingers so that he finally came to a stop in the midst of a mired degradation, the pull of it beneath his hands and feet dragging him down into something that felt like a void. It was roaring in his ears and he barely sensed the boy getting off of his back and taking the money before escaping the room but he was aware at every moment of Matt, of how the man undid the belt from him and walked away to shut the door and walked back to him. He heard the words that drove themselves into him like needles beneath his flesh and felt the hand that ran careless and proprietary over his cock before tangling in his pubic hair. His breath stuck in his throat with a feeling like panic and he jerked away suddenly from the touch.

It seemed like the prelude to getting to his feet and turning on the man but he didn't, he stayed on hands and knees as though shackled to the floor, dropped down to his elbows and shoved his forehead against one of his forearms like he couldn't stand to look at Matt kneeling next to him. It disgusted him that he was hard. Everything about this disgusted him, every look and every touch, the kid riding him like a horse and Matt painting an image of him hairless like a woman to be fit for marrying him. "Don't fucking touch me," he told the man in a hoarse, tight voice and every word ignored the fact that he had never wanted anything so badly as this man's hands on him. He couldn't stand the need for this, the way it dragged itself through his body and left him feeling scraped and hollow like the fuck from the mop handle. Nothing had ever felt like this. Nothing ever done to him had made him feel so torn open.

He pressed fingertips to the floor, fists dragging together and then loosening again while he tried to gain some control and not give this man any more blooded pieces of himself to toy with. He pushed himself up finally, his head hanging low as he kept avoiding Matt's gaze. "I didn't mean that." It was a struggle to speak, every word sticking as he tried to force them out through the tightness in his throat. "I'll do what you say. I'll be a wife if that's what you want from me."

[mjeevas]

There was something attractive about the way Leon struggled to keep control of himself. He knew Leon would have been gone a long time ago if there hadn't been something holding him here and the nature of the debt he owed was a growing curiosity, even if he wouldn't ask. His lack of intention to marry this man made him feel monstrous but he couldn't make himself stop. The more Leon seethed, the more he wanted to see him brought down, and he was just getting off on this man's humiliation but it didn't feel like there could have been any other reason but lust to sate by doing this. "Fine," he told him, "If you didn't mean it, then crawl to the bathroom." His fingers tightened around the man's prick again. "Don't get off your knees until I've said you can. Until you've been shaved, you aren't a human being."

He couldn't stop thinking of things he wanted to do to this man. The fact that he'd given in to this, just meant he wanted to find something else to subject him to after it was done, because degrading him seemed like a challenge he needed to see through completely. He didn't want Leon to ever forget crawling through this apartment and if he was capable of buying the man's life from the men holding the knife to his throat, he would, just to make sure he lived with the humiliation longer.

Despite all his thoughts though he also just wanted to take this man's erection in his mouth and suck him off until he'd come inside his mouth too. He let go of him and moved to his feet though, stepping around Leon to start out of the kitchen. "Come on, the bathroom is this way." He didn't wait to see if Leon followed, moving down the hall to a moderately spaced bathroom. None of the rooms here were familiar, the entire apartment building had been set up specifically for this, but everything inside of it was something he'd asked for and he brought out what he wanted and set it on the sink while he waited for Leon to crawl in. He hadn't had a chance to shave a man in this yet but then they hadn't made him want to fuck with their heads the way Leon did.

[lionguard]

Nothing about this made him feel like a human being. It was his skin crawling in unfamiliar ways, this man's voice and word keeping him on his knees as though he'd had his hands on him and the strength to hold him down. Nothing else seemed to be required. He turned his face as Matt's hand tightened around his cock but he didn't move otherwise or make any protest, and when the man got to his feet to lead the way to the bathroom he followed him on hands and knees like a docile animal. Panic was a feeling rushing in and out of him like a bird fluttering from one wall of a cage to another. His breath kept stuttering on it and his heart felt like it was seizing up in his chest but there was a resignation sinking into him too, slipping heavy and insidious down his spine. It wasn't so far to crawl, at least. The bathroom tiles felt hard and cold beneath his knees and his palms and he stopped in the middle of the floor and knelt there tense and unmoving, his gaze slipping briefly to Matt while the man piled things onto the counter.

It returned to the floor afterwards. He stared at the tile between his hands and thought of things he could say or ask about this but he was afraid to start talking, afraid that he would lash at him not to touch him again. Or else that he would beg him to put hands on him, and that was worse, that was a need that had infected him like a disease and he couldn't stand the way it twisted in him. He thought of being shaved hairless and fucked like a woman would be, how sick it would feel to be made a parody of something feminine and weak. Then he thought of the possibility of Matt doing something else after he shaved him, making him crawl forever on hands and knees waiting to feel this man's cock tearing into him and it made his stomach clench with that beating breathless panic, his lungs tightening so that breath came short and quick.

"Put something in me when you're shaving me." He spoke very low, the request another humiliation and he had to close his eyes to try and stop himself from feeling it too deeply. He just couldn't take this, this waiting, the ache in him, he way he felt as though he wanted nothing so badly but to be used. He couldn't take the thought of trying to control himself while a razor scraped him smooth.

[mjeevas]

There wasn't really much he needed. A razor. Shaving gel. He moved them from the sink to the edge of the tub and looked at Leon after the man's request. "No. I'm going to shave your ass too. I don't want anything to be inside of you when I do." The prospect of scraping this man's skin clear still turned him on more than it should have, lust feeling like something that would keep coursing through him until it drove him insane or he decided he couldn't wait for the games to be over before fucking the man. Turning the shower on hot, he moved back to let Leon reach the tub. "Get under the water for a bit. When you're in the dress I'll fuck you and you won't need anything else inside of you."

He wondered if he really had the patience to shave this man entirely but it wasn't really a matter of whether he did or not. He would make sure it happened. The desire to take away every trace of masculinity in the other man was too strong, and while shaving him wouldn't really do so, it was a start.

He left the bathroom without waiting to see Leon crawl into the tub, going into the other room to light a cigarette. He came back with an ashtray in one hand and the cigarette in the other, and setting the tray on the closed lid of the toilet, he turned to take long pulls of the cigarette while he watched at Leon under the spray of the water. It was too easy to be aroused by how it beat his hair to his skull and the way the man was something that he could do whatever the hell he wanted with because of some previous indiscretion being held against him. It didn't really matter why Leon did what he asked though, just that he did.

Turning to set the cigarette on the tray, he walked to the shower and turned off the spray of water. Picking up the gel, he squirted it into his palm, dropping to his knees on the other side of the tub to look at Leon. "Kneel up," he told the man, gripping his dick with his clean hand even before the man obeyed. He stroked it slowly, his fingers dragging over him as if exploring every inch of the man's erection. He lathered his pubic hair first, following the start of it at his navel and down to where it trailed around his cock to his balls. It smelled like a fabricated idea of a man, nothing real, and he wiped his hand on Leon's thigh before taking the razor. He didn't bother to talk, thinking of leaning close to drag his mouth against Leon's but he couldn't take the distraction. The razor dragged down from the man's navel instead, cutting through the foam to leave a stretch of bared skin.

[lionguard]

The words were something to hold inside him even if he didn't want to look too closely at why he needed this much to know that Matt would fuck him, that he would give him that before this ended whichever way it did. He'd never wanted any man so badly or so brutally and everything the man did to him, every step through this mire of degradation was the feeling swelling in him until he thought he was going to go insane from it. His skin felt chafed and tight as though stretched too thin over his frame, as though the black void of need in him was too big for his own body to contain. He went into the tub saying nothing, still not looking at him, shamed to silence and sullenness and he flinched when the water first struck him. It was hot and it slid over his skin like a caress, running down his back and his shoulders, his arms and his legs, pooling at the small of his back and stroking through his ass crack, soaking his hair until it hung in thick wet strands around his face. He was drenched when Matt told him to kneel upright and he put a hand on the wall of the shower as he obeyed, as though needing the support.

Matt was there with a razor and the shaving gel in hand and he had felt his gaze on him while the water was soaking him, the way he stood and watched and smoked, his awareness of this man a constant form of torment. His hand on his dick manipulating Leon where he wanted to go. He felt so fucking vulnerable in this man's fingers. It was a relief when he let go to smear the gel down from his navel and he stared wordlessly at the man's hands as the razor glided cold and sharp through his hair, leaving a trail of smoothness behind. There was something so obscene about it, about each swath of hairless skin the razor revealed as it stroked downward again and again. His throat was stuck again, his ribs expanding and contracting in quick succession as breath struggled in his chest. He didn't understand how it could be possible to feel more vulnerable than he already was, but the shaving was accomplishing it, taking his idea of himself as a man and erasing it with every stroke. His skin looked too clean, too bare and exposed. Shaving the hair from around his cock made it look even more obscenely thick and swelled, an erection that had no place in a body that had been so humiliated and all he could think was that he was a whore, he looked like a whore, felt like a whore. Filthy and desperate for every depravity this man gave him.

He wanted to pull away but he couldn't. "I don't understand what you want from me," he said in a thick, hoarse voice, staring away because he couldn't stand to keep watching and what he really wanted to say was that he didn't understand why he needed him so badly.

[mjeevas]

The reactions written on the man's skin, contracted with each breath, slid want down his spine and when he was done shaving around Leon's cock and over his balls. He shaved down the man's hips to his thighs and licked at the freshly bared skin to taste the gel and wet skin. "I want to see how far you'll let me go," Matt told him, the words not totally serious, and he cupped Leon's balls for a moment to feel the smoothness of the skin like electricity down his spine. It was hard to know exactly what made this so intoxicating but the helpless way Leon looked away only made him want to keep forcing him to take more of this. His hand swept over the man's dick, his thumb sweeping over the ridge before he leaned in to lick him. The feel of Leon's erection in his hand dragged need wildly to the surface and he thought briefly of not giving the man what he wanted, of fucking himself on this instead and taking away the other man's chance to be filled, but he pushed the thought away. "Anyway, you said you had a debt. I'm making sure you pay it off correctly."

The nature of the debt wasn't important, it was the fact that Leon had been sent here to take care of it. He was tempted to accept this man, to marry him, just to see if Leon would let the humiliation drag to a day to day basis or if he would lash out but no matter how big of a joke the audition was, this wasn't the type of spouse he expected to end the day with.

Taking the gel again, he filled his palm with it, this time taking the time to lather Leon's chest, fingers slipping up to the man's neck in a partial caress before moving down over his chest again, rubbing his nipples, tracing over ribs and his stomach. It was insinuation in every touch, dragging back over Leon's torso before he finally stopped. He picked up the razor and turned on the faucet, letting the water wash off the hair on the blades before bringing it back to Leon's chest this time, cutting slowly through foam and hair. "The men who sent the message aren't very good about letting debtors go. I'm surprised they're letting you off at all." He expected choosing Leon would mean owing a favor back and it became another reason why he shouldn't bother with this man, even if Leon's lust excited him and filled the entire room. "What clears you in the end? Being here or marrying me?"

[lionguard]

His skin itched where the hair had been scraped away and when Matt's hand cupped over his cock he shifted as though to pull away before stopping himself, with a set jaw. He couldn't stop these reactions and the way they pulled him in two different directions, wanting touch, wanting to run away. Wanting to go free and wanting to be this man's toy to use for as long as he cared to. He didn't know how long he could kneel there with contradictions tearing him apart but he did it because he was made to, because there was no other choice. Or if there were choices, yanking away from this man's hand on him would be one of them and he already knew of the consequences. "This doesn't help me pay it off." His voice was thick and unsteady and every word felt like it would stick in his throat. He wanted to ask why this man wanted to marry but he didn't. The question was there but his voice wouldn't form the words. His body jerked as Matt licked at him and his mouth felt like it could scald him, like every touch would leave scars all over his skin.

The gel went cool and slick over his chest, spread by Matt's intrusive fingers and he hated being touched the way a lover might touch him before the razor came back to scrape at him, make him smooth and exposed. Everything about those caresses spoke implications that chilled him and heated him all at once. His hands rose as though to grasp at the man, briefly, and then fell again. "Marrying you," he answered, staring away. He thought of being married to this man, subjected to this every day, how long it would take before he broke under the strain of it. He had never wanted marriage but it had never seemed like such a horror as it did now.

"Help me kill them." The words were an impulse, dragged out of him like desperation. He was breathing hard and tightly between speaking them, as though he'd been running. "Marry me and then help me kill them. I'll give you anything you want." Matt was right to think that they would trap them both. It would never be enough just to marry him and he saw himself in a cage that was his lust, wearing it like a collar around his throat and being free of his debtors meant nothing if it ended with him kneeling at this man's feet.

[mjeevas]

"Make it worth my time to marry you," he said. "I'm not the one trapped by them, you are. If I don't choose you, then why should I care if they live or die? It won't affect me." The fact that it affected Leon wasn't his problem unless he decided to marry this man. There were cameras here too and the men he worked for would know that this man had too much baggage. If he chose to marry Leon, he knew it would make things harder for him. But maybe they would like the excuse to see those men taken out after all. Leon made it tempting enough to. He'd finished with Leon's chest, scraped down his sides and stomach to leave him as hairless as a premature boy. His hand swept over the skin there too, as if he were addicted to the feel of this newly shaved skin. He couldn't get enough of it. It was hard to stop touching him but Matt forced himself to his feet and away.

The water was twisted on again and he let it clear more of the man's hair from the razor to make an ugly mess in the water that pooled below. "There isn't anything you can give me but this. Maybe I'l tell you to fuck me later and show me you you're still a man despite everything I'm doing to you now." He turned the shower on abruptly, letting the water crash over Leon again to watch it drag bits of hair down the man's skin. "Turn around." Filling his palm with the gel again, Matt stared at Leon and the urge to keep humiliating him was too fucking strong, like a disease that'd caught hold and didn't want to let go. There was something about the man's assurance that made him want to drag him down to the bottom, lost in the way he thought Matt should care about what happened to him. "Get off your knees and crouch where you are instead. I want you to lift your ass up to me and spread yourself apart while I shave down your crack."

He wanted to lick along it too, to drag his mouth down to the man's balls and suck on them like he'd suck on the man's still opened asshole before shaving him.

[lionguard]

The way the man's hands kept stroking over his skin was making everything inside him twist. Hands on him felt unfamiliar with his skin shaved smooth and his body wasn't his own, it was the body of some stranger's that knelt here and submitted to everything this man did to it. He hadn't known it was possible to feel more naked than he'd already been, before Matt had taken the razor to him. It was more than his life that he could lose the longer he stood here; the panic squeezed at him, compressed every breath and his sanity felt like a thing that could dissolve into shreds to be picked apart by this man's fingers. He remembered how he'd told him there had been men and women desperate for depravity.

His voice struggled on words dredged up from the turmoil his insides had become. His thoughts were a quagmire, slow and unrecognizable, filthied. "I'll die if I leave here." He would die if he stayed here, too; whatever he was now would be gone soon enough and the panic struck again at the thought of it but it was a distant thing. "Keep me here with you. You don't have to marry me. Just tell them you want to keep me. Buy me time." He wasn't looking at Matt as he spoke. The words kept coming and they were hideous and he wanted to make them into begging. He thought again of Matt's other auditions, determined to win forward by proving themselves more obscene than the last. "I'll figure out how to kill them on my own."

The water coming on startled him. It splattered loud against the floor and drowned out sound, pounded on his shoulders, ran hot down his skin to wash his hairless skin clean. He looked at Matt with the gel and the razor in hand and instead of turning around he got to his feet and backed away against the shower wall. On his feet he was looking down at him and he stood taller than the man by nearly a head. It would have been so easy to reach out and seize hold of his throat and choke life out of him before the men behind the cameras could think to do anything more than stare. It would have taken nothing, the barest of effort. He just couldn't move, he couldn't take a single step towards him and every thought of reaching for him felt as hollow and useless as begging for his help had been. Desire pressed down on him, smothered him with velvet hands and his body told him to obey, to get to his knees again and lift his ass for this man because he'd already proved himself to be his toy, but every thought of motion was spinning itself away in his mind. His fingers were curving the wall behind him as though looking for something to grip, sweat crawling down his skin. His eyes were rigid on Matt and what he wanted to grasp was him and he couldn't fucking breathe.

[mjeevas]

He didn't know what turned him on so badly about being asked for help and turning it down. He'd be sending Leon out to die a horrible death and no one deserved that, his conscience shouldn't have allowed it, but he felt vicious around this man and he'd never claimed to be anything. There shouldn't have been any expectations because he hadn't fucking offered any. No one had asked something particular of him like this but it was all closely related, his eyes on Leon and his guts twisted with desire for him. He shifted the razor into the same hand as the gel container and reached out for Leon's shoulder, pulling him in to mouth along his neck to his shoulder, "I'm not going to listen to anything you want until you're completely bare."

Looking up was watching his own desire reflected back at him and control felt like something shaky, something he couldn't completely take hold of, but he'd managed to drag himself back plenty of times tonight and if he held still then maybe lust could be more manageable than this. He moved forward to kiss Leon despite what his mind wanted, his hair flattened by the water that beat against it and then slid down his neck and down his clothes, the way Leon held back reminding him too much of a cornered animal and being this close could have been dangerous but he didn't give a fuck.

"I've told you," he started, pulling back awkwardly because he had no intention of stepping inside. "Make it worth my time to marry you and I might." It felt a lot in these seconds like he would but he couldn't understand that feeling so he didn't listen. His shirt was dragging and wet and after a moment, he pulled back, setting the gel and razor down on the toilet seat to pick up his cigarette. He smoked while pulling off his boots, dragging them off his feet and tossing them aside. The cigarette went back on the ash tray and he went back to Leon with the shaving gel filling his palm. He set the container down on the edge of the tub and reached for Leon again, this time stepping inside while rolling him to face the wall. The shaving gel went over his back, coating it with slow drag of his hands over Leon's back. "You don't expect to get anything for nothing, do you?"

The words were slightly hypocritical considering what these auditions consisted of.