Even if she had been any good at hiding the feelings bubbling within her, pretty much all pretense was gone when she made the mistake of glancing back, face flushing anew. It didn't help that he was so close, skin only just separated as he joined her under the water. At least she was less likely to turn around due to the limited space, so the risk of having to look at him fully was minimal.
She had brought herself to task the ring off, not wanting to push her luck, but even at that moment, her hand made a point of stroking the finger on her right hand, almost missing the feeling of the piece of jewellery there. She was dwelling on this too much, and she knew it. Something was simply not allowing her to let go though, no matter what she tried.
Sam's voice snapped her back to reality, silently glancing to the side so she knew where his hand was to give him the bar of soap. The contact might have been little, but even the lightest touch of wet warm skin was enough to made her shudder as she tried not to stare at his chest. Of course, she overlooked how his height probably allowed him a fair vantage point of hers.
He could see her chest easily, were he to be honest. And the sight was appealing as hell. Well, it always was, but especially now. Despite this, he was preoccupied. She had made that movement of touching her finger again. Her ring finger. His suspicions were pretty much confirmed at that. Damn it. He should have seen this happening. Why had he let it go on for so long?
Sam took the bar of soap, only to set it on a ledge nearby. Instead, his hand went up to touch her shoulder.
Her form stiffened at the touch, eyes flickering back and forth, unsure of whether to look at Sam or avoid his gaze entirely. Fingers lacing together, immediately tracing one digit in particular, she sighed, knowing her error. It was going to be hard, but she have never imagined pretending would have taken this big of a toll, making her question why she was still waiting.
At that however, she could only blame herself. Maybe she was being too patient, but what could she expect? Sam had a lot to deal with, it was foolish to think she could just make it all better with some kind words of support. It really showed how childishly she thought in hoping for such a quick fix.
"It's nothing, I'm being silly, thinking about this too much, I'm sorry." she rambled on, burying her face in her hands. "I'll be okay, I-...I can pull it together and get this job done, I promise."
last edit i swear ;A;exorsusOctober 26 2011, 01:26:22 UTC
Those words hit him hard, like being punched in the gut on the job. He'd known this was coming. Somehow, he'd known since the very first time they slept together. But every time it didn't happen, every time she didn't bring it up, he felt like they were dodging the bullet. And the thing about bullets? They could ricochet back to tear you apart.
Sam Winchester had absolutely no idea what to do and no surefire way to clean this up. Basically, he was in just another mess he'd made. So he did the only thing he could think of. He wrapped his arms around her and attempted to pull her into an embrace.
"No. Don't say that," he said quietly. "You're not being silly." He swallowed.
<3 And sorry for the delay, needed to sleephealsforjusticeOctober 26 2011, 07:56:04 UTC
She didn't struggle at his attempts, and somehow turned herself around to lean against Sam, hiding her face in his chest. Honestly, she couldn't resist anyway, she didn't have the will to turn away from him.
On hearing the apology, she shook her her head, feeling worse; her attempts at being there to help him seemed to have only caused more problems. This wasn't supposed to happen.
"Don't be sorry, it's my own fault." she murmured, voice almost drowned out by the water running over them. "I got too caught up in all this, but I'll be fine. You...have enough to think about without me getting on your case about any sort of answer."
it's fine. sleep is wonderful.exorsusOctober 26 2011, 16:10:32 UTC
If he hadn't been listening so intently, he wouldn't have heard her. But what he did hear? It made him wish he hadn't. For a second, he lost his cool. He'd been trying to hold on to it in order to be the reasonable Sam he always was, but listening to her degrade herself once again was not how he'd wanted this to go.
"It's not your fault," he said, voice raising. He almost sounded...annoyed? No, not annoyed. Not quite angry, either. Upset, maybe. Whatever it was, it wasn't his normal way of addressing her.
"Stop blaming yourself for everything. It's not all about me, okay? This is about you." He grasped her shoulders to push her away just enough to try and get her to look up at him.
Still curse my timezone though. healsforjusticeOctober 26 2011, 17:01:55 UTC
When he gripped her shoulders, particularly after using the sterner tone of voice, she couldn't help but flinch a little. At first she thought he might just push her away and leave altogether, but then realized he hadn't let go of her after putting distance between them. It took a moment, but eventually she lifted her head, clearly unsure of herself and worrying over .
She almost apologised again, but thought better of it. That was what made him upset in the first place. It seemed than the efforts made not to pressure Sam had backfired in her face, all because she couldn't separate her own hopes and what they needed to do for work.
"I thought...you needed a chance to consider things first. Was that wrong?" she murmured, continuing on, not sure if he would answer her anyway. After all, the way she had been behaving was rather immature, it was fairly obvious she had been mistaken. "This is just an act anyway, I shouldn't have took it so seriously, and risked the whole case."
well, I've been working on a giant term paper this morning, so I wouldn't have been on too muchexorsusOctober 26 2011, 17:23:27 UTC
He could kick himself. The way she was looking up at him with those eyes, so large and sad, made him feel like he was the worst person in the world at the moment. Really, he probably was. What was he doing? Trying to make her feel better by raising his voice and confusing her even more? Nice going, asshat.
He closed his eyes, the shower continuing to sprinkle down on him as he tried to pull everything he wanted to say together.
They really were different people. She was so good at pretending, acting like how she thought he would want, that the fact slipped his mind every now and then. But she was really just Amelia.
"No, I did," he said. He was speaking softer now. He took a deep breath. "But I was wrong for that. It's not right for me to lead you on, no matter what."
And I was in classes most of the day too, so it's all good.healsforjusticeOctober 26 2011, 17:56:50 UTC
Amelia stood in place, watching him wearily, both hopeful and scared of what he would say next. If he decided to just make everything end then and there, she wasn't sure how she would react. What they had wasn't just a physical attraction, at least on her end, and she honestly wanted to believe it was the same for him. Then again, this whole thing had shown she could easily get things wrong.
Yes, maybe bottling up her own feelings to spare his hadn't been smart, but honestly, that was the way she was. Putting other people first was second nature to her, particularly with those who were important to her. And Sam certainly ranked very highly on that list.
She had made enough mistakes, she just hoped what would come next wouldn't be another.
"I know you wouldn't do that to me on purpose though." she whispered, voice wavering as her hand reached up, pressing against his face gently. "Anyway, you'd be worth waiting for Sam." she finished, honesty clear in her features. She could take any ache that came; after all, she had told him this, to her, was better than being numb.
His eyebrows knitted together, forming that crease that he often got when he was thinking hard. She said he was worth waiting for. He'd never know why she thought he was. Maybe there were just some things he couldn't understand.
He tilted his head into her hand. It was true. He had been grateful that she hadn't pressed him for decisions about what they were. Things were hard enough keeping things together and trying to figure out what the demon had in store. Relationships took on an entirely different facet when you weren't sure if you were going to live another week or even be yourself for that much longer.
But, he knew now, he couldn't imagine life without Amelia. Or he could, but he chose not to. For their line of work, that was dangerous. If someone found out, she would be a weakness. A liability.
Then again, just being here with him at all was a liability. He figured he owed it to her to be honest. The truth was...well.
Like everything it was different. But there was something there.
"You're not going to have to wait any more," he began, reaching down to take her other hand. "I think I'm ready to face the obvious now." There was a self-deprecating little quirk of his lips.
The fact that he was taking this seriously was enough, easing the lingering worries she held over still being too immature. Then again, Sam had never treated her differently due to her age, but based everything on what he knew of her, and like him, she had to wonder what he saw in someone like her. Perhaps they simply couldn't see their own good points, but the other one could, and that's why they fit together.
She knew she couldn't imagine how hard this may have been for him, what he had to endure or how much courage it took to trust someone enough to let them in after what he'd been through. All she could do was be glad he had given her that chance, and be sure not to waste it. There would always be risks, but Amelia could recognise she would have much more regret in playing it safe.
They probably wouldn't reach the status of normal for a relationship, but it didn't matter. Together, they had stability, which was what was needed in such a risky line of work; a small life preserver that they could both depend on, each other.
Her eyes were wide and glassy as he spoke, trying to take it in. He didn't need to say anything overly romantic, those simple words were plenty. There wasn't even a need for her to check if he was sure; after all this, there could be no doubt, not the way he had just spoken. It just reflected who Sam was, and what he was willing to give. That was all she could ever want or need.
Eyes watering a little, though hard to tell under the spray of the shower, she returned the hold, her finger tracing the features of his face. Leaning up a little, she got as closer as her small stature would allow, lips and nose brushing against the skin she could reach affectionately. "Then I suppose there's no reason to change what works so well." she whispered back with a smile.
In his own way, he did want to say something romantic. There had always been a part of him that was a bit starry-eyed and reckless. It was what had put him at odds with his family during his earlier life. He'd secretly wanted to sweep someone off their feet and have an intimate but normal life. That had only kind of worked.
Since then, he'd grown up a lot, so he didn't even dream of that. But he could make Amelia see, through the ways they'd grown use to communicating, that he meant every word.
"All right," he said, brushing his thumb along the side of her hand. "But I think I can do better." To clarify his eloquently stated points, he shifted to lift her chin upwards and leaned down to press his lips against hers.
Things were hardly perfect, and what they had gone through was no ideal fairytale, but even at that, Amelia wouldn't have changed any of it. Sam was still very much what she had hoped she would find, only much more grounded and real. It was a comfort to know he wasn't like some fantasy that was going to disappear. Even so, she took the chance preserve the moment in her memory, just so she wouldn't forget just how special it was.
She enjoyed the touch, savouring the sensations felt in her hands and face, letting him bring her closer, eyes falling shut as they kissed. All the emotion she felt at that moment was poured into the movements of her lips, her body pressing against his for support. Her head fell back, a soft whine escaping her throat as her hand continued to touch his face intimately.
Sam certainly had succeeded to a degree; she was swept up in it all, and didn't wish to end. With that in mind though, it would be a question of if they would remember about the party they were supposed to go to soon or not, or for that matter if they could bring themselves to pull apart in order to get ready.
Sam, of course, would say that they could. Just a little affection wouldn't be too much of a distraction. They were working a job. There were things to be taken care of. Despite that, things probably would get heated. It was easy for him to lose himself in her, for better or for worse.
His hand untangled with hers, only to touch her again on her hip and push her completely flush with him. He had only meant for it to be a chaste kiss, but at the sound of her little moan, he began to deepen the kiss. His other hand brushed through the damp hair at the nape of her neck.
Hopefully, the resort wouldn't charge them extra for all their hot water use.
The issue was a mutual one, as she found the idea of pulling back from Sam less and less appealing by the second. Each movement of his lips and the touch of his finger through her hair just let her slip further into the moment.
Her free arm wound around his body, clinging on so as not to lose the contact between them. Being this close, she couldn't help but shiver and squrim, the warm water only increasing the pleasant sensations. It didn't help that their wet skin aided in the friction of their bodies, Amelia unable to suppress the need to squirm a little against him, legs shaky and form trembling.
She continued to trace her fingers over his skin, grazing over his ear, cheek and jaw, a constant reminder of intimacy shared. The feeling was only getting more intense the more time she spent with Sam, making her heart swell in her chest. Did they really have to go to this party and wait till later to be like this again?
She had brought herself to task the ring off, not wanting to push her luck, but even at that moment, her hand made a point of stroking the finger on her right hand, almost missing the feeling of the piece of jewellery there. She was dwelling on this too much, and she knew it. Something was simply not allowing her to let go though, no matter what she tried.
Sam's voice snapped her back to reality, silently glancing to the side so she knew where his hand was to give him the bar of soap. The contact might have been little, but even the lightest touch of wet warm skin was enough to made her shudder as she tried not to stare at his chest. Of course, she overlooked how his height probably allowed him a fair vantage point of hers.
Reply
Sam took the bar of soap, only to set it on a ledge nearby. Instead, his hand went up to touch her shoulder.
"Amelia, what's wrong?"
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At that however, she could only blame herself. Maybe she was being too patient, but what could she expect? Sam had a lot to deal with, it was foolish to think she could just make it all better with some kind words of support. It really showed how childishly she thought in hoping for such a quick fix.
"It's nothing, I'm being silly, thinking about this too much, I'm sorry." she rambled on, burying her face in her hands. "I'll be okay, I-...I can pull it together and get this job done, I promise."
Reply
Sam Winchester had absolutely no idea what to do and no surefire way to clean this up. Basically, he was in just another mess he'd made. So he did the only thing he could think of. He wrapped his arms around her and attempted to pull her into an embrace.
"No. Don't say that," he said quietly. "You're not being silly." He swallowed.
"I- Amelia, I'm sorry."
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On hearing the apology, she shook her her head, feeling worse; her attempts at being there to help him seemed to have only caused more problems. This wasn't supposed to happen.
"Don't be sorry, it's my own fault." she murmured, voice almost drowned out by the water running over them. "I got too caught up in all this, but I'll be fine. You...have enough to think about without me getting on your case about any sort of answer."
Reply
"It's not your fault," he said, voice raising. He almost sounded...annoyed? No, not annoyed. Not quite angry, either. Upset, maybe. Whatever it was, it wasn't his normal way of addressing her.
"Stop blaming yourself for everything. It's not all about me, okay? This is about you." He grasped her shoulders to push her away just enough to try and get her to look up at him.
Reply
She almost apologised again, but thought better of it. That was what made him upset in the first place. It seemed than the efforts made not to pressure Sam had backfired in her face, all because she couldn't separate her own hopes and what they needed to do for work.
"I thought...you needed a chance to consider things first. Was that wrong?" she murmured, continuing on, not sure if he would answer her anyway. After all, the way she had been behaving was rather immature, it was fairly obvious she had been mistaken. "This is just an act anyway, I shouldn't have took it so seriously, and risked the whole case."
Reply
He closed his eyes, the shower continuing to sprinkle down on him as he tried to pull everything he wanted to say together.
They really were different people. She was so good at pretending, acting like how she thought he would want, that the fact slipped his mind every now and then. But she was really just Amelia.
"No, I did," he said. He was speaking softer now. He took a deep breath. "But I was wrong for that. It's not right for me to lead you on, no matter what."
Reply
Yes, maybe bottling up her own feelings to spare his hadn't been smart, but honestly, that was the way she was. Putting other people first was second nature to her, particularly with those who were important to her. And Sam certainly ranked very highly on that list.
She had made enough mistakes, she just hoped what would come next wouldn't be another.
"I know you wouldn't do that to me on purpose though." she whispered, voice wavering as her hand reached up, pressing against his face gently. "Anyway, you'd be worth waiting for Sam." she finished, honesty clear in her features. She could take any ache that came; after all, she had told him this, to her, was better than being numb.
Reply
He tilted his head into her hand. It was true. He had been grateful that she hadn't pressed him for decisions about what they were. Things were hard enough keeping things together and trying to figure out what the demon had in store. Relationships took on an entirely different facet when you weren't sure if you were going to live another week or even be yourself for that much longer.
But, he knew now, he couldn't imagine life without Amelia. Or he could, but he chose not to. For their line of work, that was dangerous. If someone found out, she would be a weakness. A liability.
Then again, just being here with him at all was a liability. He figured he owed it to her to be honest. The truth was...well.
Like everything it was different. But there was something there.
"You're not going to have to wait any more," he began, reaching down to take her other hand. "I think I'm ready to face the obvious now." There was a self-deprecating little quirk of his lips.
"We've kind of been together for a while."
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She knew she couldn't imagine how hard this may have been for him, what he had to endure or how much courage it took to trust someone enough to let them in after what he'd been through. All she could do was be glad he had given her that chance, and be sure not to waste it. There would always be risks, but Amelia could recognise she would have much more regret in playing it safe.
They probably wouldn't reach the status of normal for a relationship, but it didn't matter. Together, they had stability, which was what was needed in such a risky line of work; a small life preserver that they could both depend on, each other.
Her eyes were wide and glassy as he spoke, trying to take it in. He didn't need to say anything overly romantic, those simple words were plenty. There wasn't even a need for her to check if he was sure; after all this, there could be no doubt, not the way he had just spoken. It just reflected who Sam was, and what he was willing to give. That was all she could ever want or need.
Eyes watering a little, though hard to tell under the spray of the shower, she returned the hold, her finger tracing the features of his face. Leaning up a little, she got as closer as her small stature would allow, lips and nose brushing against the skin she could reach affectionately. "Then I suppose there's no reason to change what works so well." she whispered back with a smile.
Reply
Since then, he'd grown up a lot, so he didn't even dream of that. But he could make Amelia see, through the ways they'd grown use to communicating, that he meant every word.
"All right," he said, brushing his thumb along the side of her hand. "But I think I can do better." To clarify his eloquently stated points, he shifted to lift her chin upwards and leaned down to press his lips against hers.
Reply
She enjoyed the touch, savouring the sensations felt in her hands and face, letting him bring her closer, eyes falling shut as they kissed. All the emotion she felt at that moment was poured into the movements of her lips, her body pressing against his for support. Her head fell back, a soft whine escaping her throat as her hand continued to touch his face intimately.
Sam certainly had succeeded to a degree; she was swept up in it all, and didn't wish to end. With that in mind though, it would be a question of if they would remember about the party they were supposed to go to soon or not, or for that matter if they could bring themselves to pull apart in order to get ready.
Reply
His hand untangled with hers, only to touch her again on her hip and push her completely flush with him. He had only meant for it to be a chaste kiss, but at the sound of her little moan, he began to deepen the kiss. His other hand brushed through the damp hair at the nape of her neck.
Hopefully, the resort wouldn't charge them extra for all their hot water use.
Reply
Her free arm wound around his body, clinging on so as not to lose the contact between them. Being this close, she couldn't help but shiver and squrim, the warm water only increasing the pleasant sensations. It didn't help that their wet skin aided in the friction of their bodies, Amelia unable to suppress the need to squirm a little against him, legs shaky and form trembling.
She continued to trace her fingers over his skin, grazing over his ear, cheek and jaw, a constant reminder of intimacy shared. The feeling was only getting more intense the more time she spent with Sam, making her heart swell in her chest. Did they really have to go to this party and wait till later to be like this again?
Reply
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