floor 6,403,120 | sex, drugs & rock n' roll | aphro to taste
The concert had been a blasting success, the fans were delirious and satisfied, if not wanting more. Although most of their focus were usually on the lead singer, and perhaps the other guitarist, rather than on him, the bassist. But Nikita didn't mind not being in the spotlight, preferring to contribute in other ways possible, and leave it all to
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The normally quiet Ritsuka was a different person on the stage. He became charged with an invisible energy that pulsed within him. His dark past seemed to get erased in each strum of his guitar. And even though he would get a little crazy on stage, the talent was obvious to anyone listening and watching. This band.. this was all he had. And it seemed today, his little pseudo-family was as happy as ever. And that was reflected in his own emotions.
He was still in 'costume', wearing a deep V-neck T-shirt and a black vest. Gray and black pinstriped skinny jeans hugged his legs. Not too tight, and not too loose. Just right.
"You were awesome!" He tilted his head up to stare up at the other, amethyst eyes sparkling and arms still hanging on tight to the Nikita's torso. His ears were perked up on his head and his tail was arched in the air, the tip twitching back and forth excitedly.
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Tonight was no different, though it was something extra special to be singing together with Ritsuka. This piece of song was particularly close to his heart, after all, and it meant the world to him. He wondered if the boy knew exactly to who the lyrics were directed at. He had been reluctant to sing, but was no glad that Ritsuka managed to convince him otherwise.
He didn't mind the boy's arms still around him, actually welcomed it and chuckled lowly at the compliments. Nikita continued to toy with one of his ears, returning the smile with his own. "I only sing one song, and am not as good as you. Are you allowed to be here? Is the fan meetings done?" He asked as he looked toward the front podium, still hearing the fans crying out for the vocalist.
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Of course, signing together with Nikita had been an experience Ritsuka knew that he would treasure. From the moment that he managed to convince the other to sing with him, he'd been excited about it. Counting down the days until this one fest. He knew that the song was special, and written for someone that Nikita held close to his heart. Ritsuka didn't know who, but he didn't think that he had the right to ask about it either. Music was a personal thing most of the time. Shared only to a certain degree determined by the writer themselves, not by outsiders asking and prodding for answers. He believed that Nikita would tell the world of the meaning of his music when he wanted to.
Ever since he met Nikita, he'd thought that the other was so mysterious. So utterly devoted to his music that the world outside didn't seem to matter so much to the man. Ritsuka admired his ability to focus, felt honoured to have someone like that in their band. And though they both had a tendency to keep themselves distant from others, he believed that that tendency is what drew them closer to each other. After somewhat gathering himself and his composure, Ritsuka answered the question. "No... but that's okay. Cus I signed a lot of stuff already and I didn't wanna be there... without you." He loved their fans, but he didn't want the small bond that he felt like they developed tonight to be severed so easily. "I don't think they want me there without you either."
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He kept to himself most of the time, rather than joining Ritsuka and his band mates, preferring to remain in the background and appear only when needed. But the young boy had definitely drew him in to their circles, slowly opening him up and building a social connection with them. It was this one time when they'd all came to visit him after falling ill from lack of sleep (and food, too much focus on his music) that broke the ice. Nikita was still the silent type, but at least he felt freer amongst those he could call 'friends'.
The fans were still chanting even as Nikita looked down at Ritsuka, unsure of how to interpret his words. It had became the norm for him to be in the background, and to leave the fans to the young boy and their manager. So it made him a little nervous to be there. "I... Are you sure they want me there?"
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However, the fact that Nikita always made himself fade back into the background was slightly bothering for Ritsuka. He understood that he wasn't a 'people' type person, but they had fans. And Nikita had his fans. Loyal people who loved him for his mysterious and silent nature, just like Ritsuka. "Yeah, 'cus some of them were asking me about you." Ritsuka nodded. Because it was true. But what was even more true was that his motive for coming back here to Nikita was the fact that he wanted to spend some time with him. Whether it was backstage or in the front with fans didn't really matter. "If you want, we can go to them... or... if you don't want, we can stay here. Or go somewhere else." Suggesting escape? What? The night seemingly had its effects on Ritsuka's normal, obedient nature.
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Nikita really wasn't the social type of person, even toward people who weren't his fans. But Ritsuka was right, he had a few loyal fans, even if they were small in numbers. They were still his fans nonetheless, and that was all it mattered to keep him going. He tilted his head when Ritsuka suggested otherwise, finding it a bold statement from the young vocalist.
"Do you want me to join you? Stay with you. Here?" There was a light teasing in his voice, different from how his stoic tone of voice usually was. He leaned nearer so only Ritsuka could hear him as he whispered at his ear. "Where should we go?"
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But usually, Ritsuka couldn't do anything to hold his emotions. Especially not now, when his arms were still wound around Nikita's waist, his head still tilted up to look at the other. When the other's voice took on a teasing tone though, Ritsuka couldn't help but tilt his head back down and hide his face in Nikita's shoulder as he felt it heat up. "I asked you first! W-whatever Nikita wants to do..." To Ritsuka, it didn't matter so much where they were going, but he was never one to force anyone to do anything they didn't want.
((OOC: What timezone are you in? I'm in GMT-5. It's almost like we keep missing eachother D:))
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The days when they were in a slump was the worst of times, though there was no point wallowing in their misfortunes or lack of recognition. Nikita himself tried not to let it bother him, rarely complaining since he chose to join Ritsuka's band. He had felt it wasn't in his place to even voice his displeasure for their situation. But things were different now, and the old times were something he could look back on and feel grateful about.
Nikita brought his hand up again to pat the boy's head, though this time he was mindful to avoid those sensitive ears, lest he got reprimanded again. His other arm moved to wrap around the other's shoulder, pulling him in closer. He didn't care if there was anyone looking, what mattered to him now was Ritsuka, whom he had come to cherish and care for. It was a little strange, and made him a bit hesitant when he was given the permission to do whatever he wanted.
He pulled back and tilted Ritsuka's face to glance into his eyes, expression almost unreadable, even though his heart was pounding within his chest. "Are you sure?"
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Ritsuka was pretty sure that it was these small gestures of affection that had his heart fluttering in his chest, had him smiling to himself when he was alone. The pats that Nikita would deliver to his head once in a while, or smiles that he was gifted with once in a while. Ritsuka didn't know what it was exactly, but somehow, he found that the moments when Nikita did it were ingrained in his mind, making him happy whenever they happened or when he thought back on them.
He let himself be pulled a little closer, and stared up at the other, partly confused at the question and expression yet excited at the same time. Slowly, he nodded, not sure what Nikita could have possibly meant by asking him that. It wasn't a huge deal... was it? At least, not to Ritsuka it wasn't. Doing anything with the other would have been okay to him right now. But with that serious look on Nikita's face, he was suddenly wondering what the other was thinking. "Yeah... lets go do something that Nika wants..."
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Ritsuka had changed him in many ways. In the past, he usually wore a perpetual frown or had on his poker-face, keeping his thoughts and feelings to himself, and the times when he did let his emotions override him only ended with violence. Nowadays, he was more mellow, slower to burst of anger, and lest likely to be snappish. But that was only toward Ritsuka and their band mates, it still remained mostly the same with strangers and other acquaintances.
Nikita debated with himself on what he should do next. Actually, he knew just what he need to do. Had to. He just wasn't sure if Ritsuka felt the same way about him, not wanting to be rejected once again. It hadn't been easy to open up to the boy after what he went through in the past. He looked into the other's eyes and searched within him for an indication, a sign that would at least provide him a clue.
In the end, he leaned closer and kissed Ritsuka's forehead as he kept his voice low. "Then let us go to my room." The hotel they stayed at was only a few streets away, and surely the other band members wouldn't mind their 'disappearance' for a few hours. Besides, Ritsuka had called him by his pet name. That had to mean something, right?
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Ritsuka loved the fact that Nikita had eventually opened up to them. Of course, they had to work to have him open up. At first, it'd been attempts to invite him to whatever they were doing. It kind of worked, though he usually still kept to himself, only talking when needed, that sort of thing. Then, they'd added actions of affection. Of course, that'd only sort of worked too, though not really. And then their precious band mate had gone and gotten himself sick from no sleep, no food, and practically no anything except his music. Yes, Ritsuka was still mad at him for making all of them worry... especially him, but it seemed as if when they showed that they genuinely cared, Nikita had started to actually open up to them.
Now, it wasn't as bad. Nika still liked to stay in the background of things, but Ritsuka was sure that they had finally at least partly convinced him that he was a part of them now. That he belonged here with them and that they wanted him every bit as much as they wanted any of the others. Yes.. but Ritsuka was pretty sure that he just wanted him more.
But this. This whole... room thing. This was what Nikita wanted to do with him? To.. go to his room and do... do what? Ritsuka was naive, but he knew what suggesting to get a room meant. The thought in itself was so mind boggling... Of course, he could just be assuming things. Maybe his innocence had been tainted so much by the lifestyle of rock n' roll that his thoughts had automatically taken to that route. Ritsuka blinked up at him, amethyst eyes wide, feeling his cheeks heat up at the kiss. Then, after a moment, Ritsuka nodded and decided that assuming Nikita wanted to do... those things was assuming a little too much. So he let an innocent little smile touch his lips, scratching the thought, deciding that he would be out of his mind to think that. "Kay. Just me and you then." No fans. No manager. No other band mates.
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The period when he had fallen ill wasn't pretty at all. Day after day he'd tried to lock his room door to shut them all out, preferring to stick to himself and will his sickness away. It wasn't until he was nearly at the point of slipping off to an eternal sleep that Ritsuka managed to get the landlord to break open his door, and greeted by a sight worst than death. Of course, that was also the first time he had seen a furious and angry Ritsuka, and it snapped something within him and made the bassist realise what he truly meant to the band.
What happened after was a kind of systematic plan by Ritsuka to integrate him properly into their band life, in the many activities and to bare open his soul. It hadn't been easy, but the moment he did, it wasn't the same any more. And Nikita was glad that it had turned out the way it did today.
At this moment, Nikita was still rather hesitant, even when the boy had given him the green light. He didn't want to force him to do anything he wouldn't consent to, nor was he even sure what he wanted to do with his vocalist. This was it. Perhaps he could finally reveal what he truly felt for Ritsuka. He half feared that he might be jumping to conclusions, debating with himself whether he should be clear about the boy's feelings before taking him anywhere. The smile directed at him was so innocent, trusting of him that Nikita was beginning to have second thoughts. "Ritsuka... I--"
It was also at this time that their manager spotted them, calling out and urging both of them to return to meet the fans. Nikita turned toward where the manager was standing, frustrated and impatient, and then back at Ritsuka. He sighed deeply and pressed their foreheads together, his breath ghosting over the other's lips as he spoke. "Later. After this."
For once, Nikita was grateful for the fans greeting sessions. It gave him time and excuse to rethink properly and rearrange his thoughts.
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Ritsuka remembered that sight, thought he would rather not. Those were the bad days, when he had spent so much time sitting by Nikita, worrying himself out of his mind. And though he did try, he wasn't very good at taking care of people. He couldn't cook, couldn't do much of anything for the other except sing him soft, heartfelt songs by his bed. It was a helpless feeling, but they had all gotten through it. From there on, it'd been uphill.
Whether it was because they'd improved a lot as a band or because they'd just gotten more publicity, Ritsuka didn't quite know, but he knew that in a matter of months after Nikita had finally become himself again, their singles started to climb the charts. Though they still weren't on top yet, they'd gained a lot more fans and became recognized as one of the newest bands with the most potential. And to Ritsuka, who was so young, who hadn't even known how to deal with the losses he'd had in his young life up to joining this band, well, it was more than he could ever ask for.
However, a pout immediately settled itself on his features as Nikita stopped talking and his manager's voice reached his ears instead. There was a fleeting moment where he had become caught up in those beautiful, clear blue eyes of his. The breath brushing against his lips sending tingles down his spine. Then, it'd all been broken. 'Ritsuka, I...' Ritsuka, I - what? What? He desperately wanted to know. No, he didn't want to wait till later, after this. But as much as Ritsuka wanted to turn Nikita around many times during the greetings, he knew he wouldn't. He couldn't do that to his fans, and couldn't do that to Nikita, putting him on the spot like that.
And so, he signed autographs on notebooks, pictures, CDs, and even a few body parts. He handed out handshakes and smiles in abundance, even a few hugs, generously trying to talk to as many people as he could. Yet at the same time, he couldn't help but stay close to Nika, following him along as they drifted through the masses of screaming fans along with a few of the other bands that were here.
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The fan greeting worked like a charm, taking his mind off the issue for a good while, doing the same as Ritsuka and the other band members: signing, shaking hands, no hugging though. There were a few times when Nikita looked over at the boy, averting his gaze the moment their eyes met, feeling a sense of apprehension welling in him with each passing moment.
Ritsuka had looked so confused by what he was about to say. What did he actually wanted to say? That he liked him? Admire? Appreciate? Love?
He almost stopped in his tracks at that train of thought, wondering when had that word entered his mind. He stole a glance toward Ritsuka's direction as the boy signed another autograph, smiling widely at the fans and receiving the hugs. Did Ritsuka felt the same way for him? Could he even call it 'love'?
They weren't given time to be alone when the band was urged into their limousine, announcing the end of the fan greeting as the vehicle skidded off back to their hotel, and then ushered back to their respective rooms. Nikita took in a deep breath as he entered his room, his bass guitar case beside the bed and a few snacks and drinks on the counter in case he was hungry.
His and Ritsuka's rooms were accessible by a connecting door, and he stared at the door for a good long minute, hand hovering over the knob and contemplating his next action.
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When they'd finally gotten back to the hotel, and when Ritsuka was finally back in what he called 'home' for now, he felt the day slowly easing itself into his sytem. Sure, he was tired, and sure, he was confused, but there was no doubt in the contentment that he felt. The concert was a huge success. Tiny mistakes here and there, but that happened with every show. Little glitches that had been smoothly eased over didn't bother them anymore.
He sat on the bed, his guitar beside him, also on the bed, flipping through the pictures on his camera and let himself drift through the memories of today. His thoughts fell to Nikita, and his gaze eventually ended up on the door. He didn't want to go bother the other. After all, Ritsuka was sure that Nika was probably just as tired, if not more, since meeting the fans had surely been something new for him. But the more he stared, the more he wanted. Eventually, he found himself perched on the edge of his bed, ears perked up, listening for anything, really. For a sign that maybe Nikita was still awake... and Ritsuka could go visit.
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The door was the only barrier that stood in their way, and Nikita raised his free hand, as if to knock on the door, but stopped short even as his other hand still fingered with the knob. To knock? To turn? He rest his forehead against the cool material, breathing in deeply as he strained to catch signs of movements from the other room, not realising that Ritsuka too was doing the same.
In the end, he pulled away from the door and moved to his bed, grabbing his guitar and strumming a few random chords. Actually, not so random as the tune was vaguely of the song that he'd sung today. He played it softly, fingers plucking idly at the strings instead, making an odd muted sound as he hummed along to it.
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