forget your troubles, happy days are here again / you better chase all your troubles away

[highf]

So here's what you missed on Glee:

After getting slushied in the face for years and dealing with Karofsky's bullying, Kurt's decided to take a few defense lessons from the Black Widow herself - ( "I... just wanted to say thank you, again, for letting me participate in this course, and how much I'm looking forward to future lessons. You kind of blew

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[highf]

If there's anything Kurt wasn't expecting, it was for the aftermath to be even more impossible than the kiss itself. During the kiss, observation bled away any sense of embarrassment, the knowledge that a first kiss- a first real kiss- was only something that would happen once in a lifetime, take it or leave it. But now that he finds himself coming down from the thrill, his ears are pounding, his skin tingling where Maxxie's fingers lightly brush, and Kurt is suddenly struck by an abundance of thought. How was it for Maxxie? It doesn't seem like a stretch to say that this wasn't Maxxie's first kiss, couldn't have been, and probably not by a long shot. Kurt closes his eyes, his lips still turned in a smile, but mind all caught up in trying to tell himself that it's fine, that it should be fine if this wasn't perfect.

"Yes," he nods, inhaling a shaky breath at the sensation against his neck as his own hand searches for a place to rest, settling on a spot just above Maxxie's collarbone, where neck and shoulder meet. The other hand, he realizes, is still holding the water balloon, and it's with a helpless little laugh and an impulse that he just tosses it away, over his shoulder, hearing the soft splash of water as it spills over grass. In a vague attempt at humor, the result of a young boy trying not to set himself up for a fall (remember Blaine, he tells himself), he nods.

"Think you earned that," he adds, tilting his head towards the direction of the throw.

[dancin_maxxie]

The game is the last thing on his mind, but Maxxie laughs at the gesture nonetheless, his smile bright and amused. One kiss, and a good one, is definitely worth the reprieve, he agrees. But such a vote of approval makes him wonder.

There's a hundred great things about sex, about snogging, about fooling around and innocent flirting that don't need to be named, but for Maxxie the simplicity of it appeals, too. He can stand here, staring into Kurt's eyes, memorizing the lines of his face with the critical eye of an artist, and think of nothing but his lips, his neck, of where to touch him next, of what might happen between them. The party's there; he can hear the music spilling out into the open air, voices and laughter, but it's just a thing.

"Does that mean we're not going back to the party for a bit?" he asks, a hopeful look in his eyes as his hand travels, slow but sure, from Kurt's hip to the small of his back.

[highf]

If the hand on his hip was enough to cause thoughts to short-circuit, it's precious little compared to the fingertips sliding slowly up his back, Kurt blinking at the sensation, his hips shifting just a touch. Blinking as he meets Maxxie's gaze, his lips part, words useless to him, out of his reach. Years spent picturing the theater, the subtle touch of hand to hand, and suddenly his imagination goes wild, stripping further away from the rest. But the unsettling feeling in his stomach seems to be too much, too fast, and Kurt knows himself better than this, feels his hopes already climbing.

He'll only have himself to blame, at this rate.

"I, uh. I think usually, kisses come after a date," he breathes with a huff of a laugh, pressing his lips together. "At least in my neck of the woods. And I didn't want to assume- not that I'm trying to pressure, but it's-"

[dancin_maxxie]

A date. Shit.

Maxxie tries very, very hard not to simply freeze with Kurt in his arms, like he's said something weird or off-putting. Even though he has. There's nothing wrong with the concept. Kurt's not at fault for saying that. It's perfectly reasonable. But it's not exactly what Maxxie's used to and, more importantly, it's kind of impossible. Maxxie will kiss and mess around and more with anyone who's game and that he likes, but dating is something else entirely. It's something he's pretty sure is forbidden by his arrangement with Marshall. Whether it is or not, the thought of going on a date with Kurt while he's messing around with Marshall is enough to make his stomach flip. And not in the good, butterflies kind of way.

"No, I--" Maxxie glances down as he takes half a step back, releasing Kurt. "You're not pressuring, I just.. can't. I can't do that really. Sorry."

[highf]

It feels like there aren't expectations, until suddenly they all come falling down, brick by brick. In the grand scheme of things, this matters very little. (It isn't even his first kiss, a voice in his head reminds him; Karofsky took that, and that didn't pan out in the right way, either.) They've only just gotten to know each other. Kurt knows plenty of guys at McKinley who jump around from girl to girl; there's no reason to assume that orientation would change those numbers. Now, it's the discomfort that comes across more clear than anything else. The fact that the night air is slightly humid still, that the shoulder of his blazer is chafing, that the right side of his left sock is wet from where he ran through tall grass.

First kiss, maybe, but as pop culture's told him countless times, he shouldn't have expected too much from that.

"Back to the party, then," he declares in a voice too high and words too quick, offering a quick smile before he turns on his heel and retreats before Maxxie has a chance to speak (or at least, allowing himself enough time to pretend like he doesn't hear at all).

[dancin_maxxie]

He tries. He really does try to call after Kurt. His mouth opens but no words come out because... Well, what could he say? Explaining about Marshall would only make things worst, make Maxxie look more like an ass and maybe make Kurt feel irrationally guilty. Justifying some other way, claiming he isn't ready for a relationship as he would have said months ago, would be awkward as well. He can't take it back and ask Kurt out on a date anyway.

No, he's just got to deal with the fact that he has royally fucked up everything.

Maxxie watches Kurt walk away, too brisk, back too straight, and looks just as crestfallen as he feels. Feeling a heel, he takes his time retrieving his jacket, not wanting to go back into the party looking like the miserable clod he is.