The Doctor is in...

[teenagerenegade]

It's probably not totally professional of him. In fact, it's not. Professional. Still. What Charlie's got is tonnes and tonnes of experience of being sent to psychiatrists and what he knows is this: that, sometimes, you can talk and talk and still, people just aren't listening. And, when you're a kid, there's nothing worse. Charlie might be

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[dancin_maxxie]

Maxxie's not sure what to make of the sign. He stares at it for a few minutes, wondering if there's a joke there that he's missing and, if so, what it is. He would think doctor is a euphemism for dealer, but this isn't home and dealers never listen.

Finally he decides to take the chance and enters the restroom. It appears empty and he thinks maybe the sign got left up from an earlier game or it's a prank of some kind. Maxxie shrugs it off and turns to check himself out in the mirror, and that's when he sees the pair of feet poking out from under a stall. He stops adjusting his shirt and tilts his head curiously. "What sort of doctor are you then?" he asks, hoping that this isn't some random bloke innocently trying to use the loo.

[teenagerenegade]

"I qualified with the Psych office," says Charlie, looking up from his notebook and reaching out to pull the stall door open. "But, you know, some people find the office totally intimidating. I used to do this back home and it always worked out pretty well."

[dancin_maxxie]

He’s in a public restroom looking for a doctor. That the doctor in question is barely older than Maxxie is, if that, shouldn’t be as surprising as it is. But Maxxie stares at the other young man’s reflection in the mirror and decides that getting cozy in a stall with him wouldn’t be a bad thing at all.

“I get that,” he says. “About the office. But a restroom? That’s the best choice?” His mouth quirked in a faint smile, Maxxie turns and leans back against the sink counter. “Do I get in there with you?”

[teenagerenegade]

It says a lot about Charlie Bartlett that the implications of his location haven't even occurred to him. He idly chews on the lid of his pen.

"Habit from back home - there wasn't really anywhere else at school to do it." He huffs a laugh through his nose. "Don't think my boyfriend'd be that keen on that. Next door's better anyway; it's easier to talk if you don't have to look at the person who's listening."

[dancin_maxxie]

Maxxie tilts his head slightly to the side as he reconsiders this guy, who apparently spent his time at school dealing with other people's problems. Maxxie usually cared about his friends' problems, but to volunteer to care about others took something else.

He straightens up, about to say it was curiosity only that sent him in here, but he hesitates. He hesitates too long and realizes he's going to end up in that stall.

"Alright," Maxxie says finally and slips into the neighboring stall. He pushes the door close, slides the lock in place and sits down. "So how do I start?"

[teenagerenegade]

"You find something you want to talk about," says Charlie, simply, shifting his weight on the toilet seat that he's sitting on. "And then you talk and I listen. Hopefully you feel better in the end."

[dancin_maxxie]

"Okay

[teenagerenegade]

Sitting quietly, Charlie patiently listens while the other guy talks. He tilts his head to the side, idly picking at a stray thread in the knee of his jeans. When he's sure that the kid's finished, he clears his throat.

"What it sounds like to me," he says carefully, "Is that the love? Kind of isn't the problem. How would you feel if his boyfriend found out?"

[dancin_maxxie]

"Well, no," Maxxie grudgingly admits. He still isn't sure how he feels on that count, thinking it too dangerous, but at the rate they're going anyway, it's not like it matters much

[teenagerenegade]

"Right," says Charlie. "You know, my girlfriend Susan, she used to say that you don't have to worry about disappointing people. You're always going to disappoint other people. What you've got to figure out is whether you care about disappointing yourself or not."

[dancin_maxxie]

Maxxie stops to think about that, and he guesses it's true. Honestly, the only people he truly cares about disappointing are his parents, but it's hard to willingly disappoint others, too. It's like knowingly giving a bad performance; it turns Maxxie's stomach.

"I guess I am a little disappointed," he admits. "Back home, T- he made a move on me, before. But it was shit timing and he had a girlfriend and I didn't think he was interested in me, you know? It was like I was something to check off a list, or a hobby. And now he says, you know, he loves me, and I think I believe him. And I know I said I didn't want to be in a relationship with him. But I don't really like being the person Tony fucks behind someone else's back. It's great at the time. And it's not like it's all that awkward after. But it's.. I don't know what I want. So I'm not sure if this is really what I want. And it feels like he's making me want it."

Maxxie frowns at his knees and shakes his head. "Does that even make sense?"

[teenagerenegade]

"Yeah," he says. "That makes sense. So, I guess my question is: if he's making you want it, and you feel like shit when you think about it, is it really worth it at the time?"

He leans his head back against the wall of the cubicle.

"Because, from where I'm sitting? It sounds like T's the only one who's winning."

[dancin_maxxie]

"I don't feel like shit," Maxxie hedges. "More... uncertain. And I get a good shag, so that's a win. And it's not like I'm pining over him and not shagging anyone else in the meanwhile. He's just so hard to figure sometimes."

He pauses, licking his lips and staring at the ground. "He depended on me once, you know? I don't need that or anything. I love the fact that he's normal again, that none of that stuff ever happened. But we were close. And.. I believe that he loves me enough.. to believe that it's not just fucking. It's mostly just fucking, you know, wanting sex, but there's something else. And if we stop, he'll get pissed and I don't know how else to be sure that he cares. He's not sweet. He's not really nice. He does things in his own way and I only understand some of it. So I get that. That.. reassurance, I guess? I feel close to him then."

[teenagerenegade]

"I'm not sure that that sounds entirely healthy to me," says Charlie, carefully, shifting his weight a little, scuffing his trainer against the floor. "I mean...a lot of people take sex when they can't get anything else. I feel like...you need to feel close to him. Is there...like, a chance that he's exploiting that?"

[dancin_maxxie]

There's a pause, a long one, as Maxxie wars within himself about what he wants to believe and what he really does think. Then he huffs out a dry laugh and shakes his hanging head. "There's always a chance," he admits quietly.

"But what do I do then?" he asks, looking up at the stall wall beside him. "If I say that, even if I don't say that and he guesses, he'll be pissed. And I want to believe in him. I don't think a lot of people really do."

[teenagerenegade]

And Charlie feels like kind of an asshole for pointing it out but, maybe, somebody had to. He rubs one hand over his face.

"You have to do what's right for you," says Charlie quietly. "And, if that's believe him and...screwing him on his terms? Worse things have happened. But you've got ot be sure it's right."