dreadful sorry, clementine

[cibosity]

In more ways than one, Tabula Rasa was a surefire step up from the previous island. A simple look at the way that Sawyer occupied himself on most days was more than enough of an indication; whereas before, he'd spent his days lounging around, scavenging for materials and possessions, often causing factions of the camp to turn against one another,

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[poison_lipstick]

"All that's liable to get you is a broken toe, honey," Saffron informed Sawyer with a mild smile as she came up and nimbly plucked the coffee mug from his hand before he decided to go hopping around in pain and spill more of it. "That jukebox has been the bane of many a person's existence on this island. Seems to be more the bookshelf for me, for whatever reason. Either way it's the gorram island having its way with us, one way or another."

And as if on cue, like the jukebox was reminding her that it, too, could have its fun with her if it wanted, a familiar song started playing. Take my love, take my land, take me where I cannot stand, I don't care, I'm still free, you can't take the sky from me...

Saffron rolled her eyes.

[cibosity]

"Well, maybe it was supposed t'make me feel better, not just takin' all the crap that this island pulls on us," Sawyer immediately shot back, though none of the irritation was directed at Helen herself, who was being that shade of maternal that she always seemed to be around him. Whether that was because she was a whole lot more poised than he'd ever be, or because he behaved like a child and needed to be watched over in some way, Sawyer wasn't sure. Impossibly, his mind shot back to patchier memories, blurred in his mind, of Kate holding him close and feeding him mangoes while he laid in bed.

He shook his head furiously to rid himself of the thought. It wasn't the time.

Wiping his hand on his shirt, Sawyer shot a curious glance over to the jukebox, which had started playing a new song entirely. "That number's for you, I'd wager," he remarked.

[poison_lipstick]

"It is," Saffron confirmed, barely sparing the machine a glance. She'd had enough time with the knowledge of that gorram show that things like that didn't much get to her anymore. "I reckon it has to try and put me in my place once in a while."

She paused, just briefly, wondering before she even asked the question if he would bother giving her an answer. "So what's the story with that other song's got you so worked up you want to kick the jukebox? From what I heard it was just some song about a girl named Clementine." Some woman named Clementine had left him at some point, maybe? She wasn't sure.

[cibosity]

There was a moment when Sawyer looked over in Saffron's direction, his expression nothing but defensive. Perhaps it was a normal question for someone to ask, for anyone who wanted to get to know him better or cared about his welfare to ask. But there was something about being asked by her in specific, the woman who had lived a similar kind of life, that made him want to snap, pushed as close to the edge as he already was by the song alone.

Of course, though, he didn't have to answer. Didn't have to give her the truth.

"Maybe I don't wanna tell that story," Sawyer replied, and while it wasn't too normal for him to take on that overall air of petulance, perhaps it fit the moment. "I had a girl named Clementine." He paused, his hand about to rub at his lips, before he looked up at her with his eyes wide.

"That ain't somethin' I meant to tell you."

[poison_lipstick]

She'd been about to say that if he didn't want to tell the story, she wasn't going to push, but then he came out and not only said it, but up and told her he hadn't wanted to say it.

Something was definitely up.

"No, I reckon not," she said slowly, then asked a question, testing the growing suspicion in her mind. "This girl you had named Clementine. She was someone important to you?"

[cibosity]

Why? Why did she have to ask? Sawyer already knew, and had for some time, that Helen wanted to know more about him and his past. From the very first time they'd met, she'd been interested (though probably back then, it was for more superficial reasons, in the same way that he'd been interested in her as Ginger Spice), but Sawyer was pretty sure that he'd made it clear that he didn't want it going too far. That the nightmares they'd shared were already far more damned revealing than he ever wanted.

Did she feel compelled to ask?

Or was she just taking advantage?

Either way, Sawyer felt defensive, lost, betrayed by a freaking hunk of rock. "Yes," he gritted out, hoping that she would leave it at that. Hadn't he told her not to press? "And I ain't sure what you're doin' here, Ginger, but I'm askin' ya. Please."

[poison_lipstick]

Her suspicion confirmed, Saffron's expression softened. "I'm not going to ask anything else," she assured Sawyer with a little shake of her head. She knew how angry she would have been in his situation, if she was affected that way and someone tried to take advantage of her state by getting her to tell things she normally wouldn't when she couldn't help it.

"I won't try and force a story out of you. But I'd be careful of who you talk to next couple of days," she said. "The island's having a little...fun with you. Making you tell the truth."

[cibosity]

The air rushed out through his nose, a heavy exhale that left him feeling weak and defeated, his shoulders hardly able to pull back and hold any weight at all. There was still an undercurrent of anger, a desire to simply give up and throw it all to hell, but it was buried under a layer of shame. Sure as heck, he still didn't want to clue Helen on too much about his life, even if he had the feeling that she'd empathize better than most, but he felt bad for snapping. Felt bad for being so bothered.

Then again, maybe it was understandable. He'd tried so damned hard to put it all behind, and all for nothing.

"The hell's it doin' that for, I wonder. If it's tryin' to get me to feel all bad and offer apologies, it'd damn well bring the appropriate people here first, else it don't accomplish nothin'."

[poison_lipstick]

Saffron gave a small shrug and a shake of her head. "Who rutting knows why it does any of the things it does," she said, "other than to try and mess with our heads." She let out a dry laugh. "It's part of this place's indescribable charm."

[cibosity]

"Charm ain't how I think of it," Sawyer gritted out, feeling that his answer was probably unreasonably petulant, but not knowing any way around it, not right then. Maybe the island was just trying to get him to shut the hell up, making him learn his lesson about what happened when one tended to blather on by removing the filters that usually kept him safe. Unfortunately, Sawyer had never been one for taking lessons immediately to heart.

Slowly ambling towards the exit and throwing a glance over his shoulder, an unspoken invitation, Sawyer said, "I need a drink."

[poison_lipstick]

"Well, I was trying to be tactful," Saffron replied with a wry smile, "though why in the 'verse I'd do such a thing around you I've got no idea. I'm more like to describe it as a liu koushui de biaozi he houzi de ben erzi, most days."

She quirked her head slightly to the side as he headed towards the door, frowning, then her expression relaxed as he glanced back at her and she moved to follow him. "Well, lucky for you, this place caters to folks needing a drink."

[cibosity]

"Well, alright, Mrs. Miyagi," Sawyer snorted, shaking his head. Even if he didn't necessarily understand what Helen had said just then, her expression and tone of voice said more than he needed to know. "I'll take your word for it, your loo koh-sway."

Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Sawyer shook his head, knowing that it probably wasn't a good idea for him to get wasted that evening. Technically, he was still supposed to look over Calliope the next day. But he couldn't bring himself to give too much of a damn.

"Lucky me," he said.

[poison_lipstick]

"Mrs. Miyagi?" Saffron repeated with an incredulously amused laugh, recognizing the reference from her time on the island. She seemed to remember that guy being Japanese, but she wasn't going to quibble over small details. "I think I like Ginger Spice better."

She tilted her head in the direction of the door outside. "Come on," she said, moving to walk past him, and as she went by she hooked her arm into his so they could walk together.