Title: Whispers and Warmth
Author: Tha Wrecka
Email: scorpionightmare@yahoo.com
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Dawn has a bit of a crush on Tara.
Notes: Set mid season six, so just a little bit AU. Also, I really should've started writing this earlier than the night before.
Distribution: The usual places. Anyone else? If you want it just ask.
There was something so solid and reassuring about Tara. She seemed like she'd always be there for you no what happened, with a soft shoulder to lean on and some consoling words. She was so pleasant, her smile so genuine and her arms so comfortable that it really wasn't a surprise that Dawn had a bit of a crush on Tara.
Mostly, Dawn just wanted Willow and Tara to get back together. They were her models of romantic love and when they were right their happiness spilled over into the lives of everyone around them. It was just that Dawn sometimes wished Tara would look at her the way she did at Willow.
It wasn't something Dawn thought about too much. She didn't really want to know what it meant and she didn't want to change things by making a fuss about it. Plus, as much as she accepted Willow and Tara with open arms, the idea of herself having a lesbian romance seemed strange to her. She'd tried to read a book about it, hidden in the public library, but that just made it weirder. The phrasing was strange and heartless, the terminology too sharp and crude. It lacked the warmth she associated with Tara, the softness of her body.
***
Dawn had a bit of a cold. It made her voice rough, and quieter than was usual. She thought it made her sound older, but the discomfort wasn't worth it.
Dawn and Tara were walking home from a movie, some sweet romantic comedy Dawn had insisted on seeing. Tara hadn't really needed convincing, though. Whether because she liked silly romance or Dawn's company, it didn't matter.
"I thought that was nice," Dawn said in her softened voice.
The late afternoon sun illuminated the footpath in front of them as Dawn kicked a pebble.
"It was nice, very relaxing," Tara agreed. "I'm glad we went out, Dawn."
Dawn smiled at this. The sunset looked romantic around them.
They made small talk about the movie and the sunset as they reached the house. Tara didn't need too much convincing to come in, just the reassurance that Willow wasn't there.
Tara put her bag down and sat on the couch, sinking into the cushions. Dawn sat right next to her, working up the courage to say something.
Dawn took a deep breath. "Tara?"
"Yes, Dawn," Tara replied, looking up to Dawn.
"How do you know if you're attracted to girls?" Dawn asked, breathless. She looked at her hands instead of Tara's face.
"Well, it's complicated," Tara began, hesitant. "I guess you just know. Maybe you should talk to Willow about this."
"Willow's not here. How can you be sure you're attracted to girls? Is there some sort of sign?" Dawn persevered.
"I just always knew. There wasn't really any sort of sign. I just knew," Tara said.
Now Dawn was looking at Tara and Tara was the one looking at her hands.
"Do you think, maybe, if someone thought they might be attracted to girls but wasn't sure, she should have to kiss one before she makes up her mind?" Dawn felt rough and rude asking this, but she had to. She had to know.
"Dawn, are you asking about yourself? Because I'm not sure Buffy would want me to talk to you about this," Tara said. She appeared slightly ruffled by this conversation.
"Please, Tara, I can't talk to anyone else about this," Dawn pleaded. She wondered if she should feel ashamed for being so manipulative.
Tara took in a deep breath and paused for a moment, perhaps to calm herself.
"I, Dawn, Yes, maybe this hypothetical person should kiss a girl before she makes up her mind. Just so she could be certain it was what she really wanted before she did anything she couldn't take back," Tara said.
Dawn shifted closer to Tara on the couch. She put a shaking hand on Tara's knee, leaned in a little and asked, "Tara, would you kiss me? Just so I could be sure."
Tara looked afraid or confused or unsure.
"Yes," Tara said. "Come here."
Dawn shuffled even closer, and moved her knee so it wouldn't bang so sharply against Tara's. Tara sat up, and she was bigger and grown up and in love with someone else. Dawn titled her head back and Tara titled hers forward. The air between them felt warm and thick, Tara's breath whispering over Dawn's skin. Tara put a hand to the back of Dawn's neck and then kissed her.
Tara's lips felt just as soft as they looked. With her eyes closed all Dawn could feel was the tingling sensation where their lips touched.
There seemed no passion in Tara's kiss, just a press of skin against skin as if she were kissing a little sister. Dawn felt disappointed and was just about to pull away when Tara opened her mouth.
Dawn gasped. She ventured her tongue into the warm cavern of Tara's mouth. It felt comfortable, like home and all those other cliches. Tara's tongue brushed against hers, wet and smooth. As she tasted the walls of Tara's mouth Dawn came to a realisation.
Tara removed her hand from Dawn's neck, untangling her fingers from Dawn's hair and pulled her mouth away. Her lips were red and moist where Dawn had licked them.
"Did that help you?" Tara breathed.
Dawn felt out of sorts. Her breath was coming fast and everything in her head felt like she was under water. "It was enlightening."
Dawn tried to smile and keep the sadness out of her face. It was all so simple. She had a thing for Tara but Tara was in love with someone else.
"This was a nice afternoon. Thank you. I think I better go to my room and do the homework I've been avoiding," Dawn said, trying to sound calm and grown up. She walked out of the living room and up the stairs slowly, so as not to look like she was running scared.
She didn't hear Tara whisper, "Damn!"
*****
Dawn huddled in her covers at night, enclosed in the warmth and trying to stave off a cough. She hoped Willow and Tara would get back together soon, because if anyone could make Tara happy it was Willow.
She dreamt of Tara's warm embrace.