Abdominal tightness / job search crisis / ramble
For maybe a week (let's say 18 March), I've noticed a tightness on the right side of my abdomen after I eat, maybe in the ascending colon or gall bladder, and it seems to be getting worse. I'm not constipated, I don't have a fever and my poo has been unremarkable. Checking out the symptoms online, it's probably not diverticulitis, and more likely something potentially serious like a gallstone or a mass. Hooray.
With my layoff, I have only a few days left on my current stellar medical plan. We've set up my coverage on Gary's mediocre plan to start in April, but his job ends in a few months, and my own job search has been like shouting into a hole. It's clear that the resume that attracted attention two years ago needs a complete overhaul. Weaknesses: many of my achievements aren't quantified, I don't have a degree or recent certifications and my age is becoming a disadvantage. But I do have some serious skills and experience.
Nonstop job stress for the past decade, with the related gradual disconnect from non-virtual social networks and related physical and emotional issues may have contributed to or may be worsening the situation, which isn't helping with the search. I need to be focused to get a job and I need a job to regain equilibrium and stable medical coverage. It's maddening that I have all this time off and can't properly enjoy it.
Even if I knew when my job would start, I still feel horribly disconnected from non-virtual communities. I've felt like a ghost haunting whatever area I've been in for the past four years, possibly longer. The timeline closely correlates to the rise of Facebook and the decline of LiveJournal. I've scoured events and groups for something meaningful, but many of them revolve around food and drink and watching other people do things. I know that people desperately want to interact, now more than ever, so that may be the key. Until I'm ready to commit to contributing to a solution, I'll have to be content with small snippets of connection.
Meanwhile, with the increasing stresses at work and other things that would merit a separate entry, I abandoned my exercise regimen around August. My eating habits aren't completely abysmal, but they could use some effing work. More water needs to happen, etc. At least I haven't gained a ton of weight, I don't smoke and can only handle small amounts of alcohol, but I've reached the age where all of this matters a lot more.
OK. I've had my wallow in self pity. Now it's time to wake up harder and get serious.
I very nearly signed up for a resume re-writing service until I took a look at some of the samples from one of the high rated services. I could do as well on my own with a little more research, patience and work. Frustratingly, the things that one recruiter hates could be a must-have for others.
Anyway, I made my resume less stuffy and more user friendly, and then had my sister rip into it for me. She gave me some good tips from her first glance, and we're supposed to do an in-depth review in a few hours. Then more work will be needed to identify and concicely list my concrete accomplishments. Then I need to do a master resume (more like a CV), then ones targeted to Contract Billing, Accounts Payable and Administrative Assistant positions, plus a non-formatted one to be compatible with recruiting software. Then scouring/applying for more jobs and following up on old listings, then writing cover letters for each discipline. I fucking. Hate. Job hunting. I just want to kick ass and get paid.
Meanwhile, I started meditating a few weeks ago. Nothing fancy - I just do my best to deflect all concrete thoughts for about 15 minutes while laying down in bed - when I first wake up and while going to sleep. It was hard at first, but recently I started falling asleep before completing the night sessions. Also, this morning I deleted Facebook from my phone. I still have the account, but it should cut a time suck that I don't need right now or ever. Instant gratification will only become more attractive as the search drags on.
OK, fine. So what's the plan? In short, Dig Deeper and Get Help. I need to break the habit of soldiering through on my own. It would also be good to reach out when I'm tempted to put things off or hope that things fix themselves. I can handle this with a job but I'm rubbish with my personal responsibilities. That shit needs to end.
.
With my layoff, I have only a few days left on my current stellar medical plan. We've set up my coverage on Gary's mediocre plan to start in April, but his job ends in a few months, and my own job search has been like shouting into a hole. It's clear that the resume that attracted attention two years ago needs a complete overhaul. Weaknesses: many of my achievements aren't quantified, I don't have a degree or recent certifications and my age is becoming a disadvantage. But I do have some serious skills and experience.
Nonstop job stress for the past decade, with the related gradual disconnect from non-virtual social networks and related physical and emotional issues may have contributed to or may be worsening the situation, which isn't helping with the search. I need to be focused to get a job and I need a job to regain equilibrium and stable medical coverage. It's maddening that I have all this time off and can't properly enjoy it.
Even if I knew when my job would start, I still feel horribly disconnected from non-virtual communities. I've felt like a ghost haunting whatever area I've been in for the past four years, possibly longer. The timeline closely correlates to the rise of Facebook and the decline of LiveJournal. I've scoured events and groups for something meaningful, but many of them revolve around food and drink and watching other people do things. I know that people desperately want to interact, now more than ever, so that may be the key. Until I'm ready to commit to contributing to a solution, I'll have to be content with small snippets of connection.
Meanwhile, with the increasing stresses at work and other things that would merit a separate entry, I abandoned my exercise regimen around August. My eating habits aren't completely abysmal, but they could use some effing work. More water needs to happen, etc. At least I haven't gained a ton of weight, I don't smoke and can only handle small amounts of alcohol, but I've reached the age where all of this matters a lot more.
OK. I've had my wallow in self pity. Now it's time to wake up harder and get serious.
I very nearly signed up for a resume re-writing service until I took a look at some of the samples from one of the high rated services. I could do as well on my own with a little more research, patience and work. Frustratingly, the things that one recruiter hates could be a must-have for others.
Anyway, I made my resume less stuffy and more user friendly, and then had my sister rip into it for me. She gave me some good tips from her first glance, and we're supposed to do an in-depth review in a few hours. Then more work will be needed to identify and concicely list my concrete accomplishments. Then I need to do a master resume (more like a CV), then ones targeted to Contract Billing, Accounts Payable and Administrative Assistant positions, plus a non-formatted one to be compatible with recruiting software. Then scouring/applying for more jobs and following up on old listings, then writing cover letters for each discipline. I fucking. Hate. Job hunting. I just want to kick ass and get paid.
Meanwhile, I started meditating a few weeks ago. Nothing fancy - I just do my best to deflect all concrete thoughts for about 15 minutes while laying down in bed - when I first wake up and while going to sleep. It was hard at first, but recently I started falling asleep before completing the night sessions. Also, this morning I deleted Facebook from my phone. I still have the account, but it should cut a time suck that I don't need right now or ever. Instant gratification will only become more attractive as the search drags on.
OK, fine. So what's the plan? In short, Dig Deeper and Get Help. I need to break the habit of soldiering through on my own. It would also be good to reach out when I'm tempted to put things off or hope that things fix themselves. I can handle this with a job but I'm rubbish with my personal responsibilities. That shit needs to end.
.