Exhibit B Week 5- Go Tell the Spartans
I'm actually thinking of making this story two or three parts long, so I would love to have some feedback one this one. Thanks.
The crimson bird landed on a branch which sprouted from a lone tree lining the edge of a cliff. The frothy waves of the sea battered the cliff-side rock and threatened to scale its ledge. The bird glanced at the sun, barely arching west in the sky. Despite the intensity of this celestial body, the bird had no difficulty focusing on its blinding rays.
Any moment now.
Seeming to appear from the sun itself, another bird flew to the tree. This one was much like the first. Slightly bigger than an eagle, it flew with a grace and precision incomparable to the animals that dwell in the realm of Earth. The bird's eyes locked onto the target of the tree, piercing it with a stare that threatened to make a living being drop dead on the spot of fright. Its tail was at least twice as long as its regal body, and the reflection of light made it seem as if its tail was on fire. The bird's plumage radiated a resplendent ruby-colored gleam. The entirety of the bird held the illusion of a meteorite falling from the cosmos.
The phoenix landed next to its older friend on an adjacent branch. "Prince Hector is dead. The Greeks are not backing off. Helios believes this war will be the end of the Trojans. All of Troy will be destroyed soon."
The elder phoenix pondered this for a moment, turning around the idea in his head. "It has been nearly a decade since the launching of this war," the bird sighed. "Most surely, Greece will try to ransack Troy, but its defenses have held for a while... Though I do suppose it is only a matter of time before the walls fall or they sneak their way inside. Why is Helios concerning himself with the war? It is of little importance to him."
"The other gods have felt need to take action," the younger replied.
"The others being Poseidon and Athena, Olympians," the elder revealed. "The Olympians have not been as harsh on Helios as they have the rest of the Titans. He should consider himself lucky, Aureole."
Aureole defended his statement, "These are men, Surya, who are dying every day on that battlefield. Not just men, but the wisdom that they carry as well. The Olympians feel the need to interject; Helios wants to help these people."
"How rash!" squawked Surya. At his comment, the sun suddenly felt more concentrated of the two. While the phoenix never felt the sensation of burning in his life before, he sensed that was what was happening. His entire body felt aflame but not in the usual manner. This time, it was actually burning him.
He struggled through his statement, defending every word. "Forgive me, Helios, for it was you who gave me the flame on my tail. But do you not see the senselessness of it all? In another ten years, it will not affect you. By entering with the Olympians on the battlefield, you risk raging another war between Titans and Olympians. This time, though, there are humans around. The ensuing fight will surely kill them all. So I ask, why not let a few thousand more die for the sake of all life on this planet?"
A third voice interjected. "Because, Surya. I have a son living there."
Both Phoenixes swung their heads downward. In front of them stood what appeared to be no more than a mere man. He was handsome, a muscular man that embodied strength. His blonde hair fell in curls, landing at his broad shoulders. He wore a long robe that shimmered as he stood before them, almost as if it were made of the same fire as that of the sun.
"Master Helios," said both phoenixes, bowing their necks.
"Thank you, my friends," said Helios in his deep, warm voice. "As you both have just recently discussed, the war on Troy is reaching its pinnacle. I fear the war cannot hold much longer. I do not concern myself often with the matters of mortals, but this child is mine. I shall not have him die in this war, for if the Greeks--and, mind you, they will--break into the city, they will kill everyone."
Surya, shocked at this revelation, exclaimed, "But, my lord, the walls are heavily fortified! Why, the only way to break in would be to help the Greeks do it themselves. Then, perhaps we could sneak the boy out, but with all of the Greeks running around, they would likely kill him and whoever carried out this fool's errand!"
Helios stared at the bird undividedly, wavering no attention to any other piece of creation.
"Forgive my tongue, sir," Surya added, "but you made me the cynical bird that I am."
The Titan's demeanor relaxed. He chuckled then said, "And proud, too."
Aureole asked, "Master, who should carry out this mission? Seeing as the Olympians currently hold power, your followers are few. There's no guarantee that any of them are suitable candidates in the slightest. Furthermore, how would you get them over the city walls and back again?"
Helios looked at the younger of the two phoenixes. It was not a serious glance; rather, he smiled. "Do you doubt a god?" he inquired.
The young phoenix scrambled for words. "No, sir, not at all. I only mean--"
Helios interrupted, "Haha, relax, Aureole. I share your concerns. Of my followers, not one is fit for this journey. Nor do I trust any living man to rescue my son."
"Then, who?" Surya asked.
"You two."
The birds screeched, one nearly falling out of the tree, the other almost setting it on fire with a burst of flame through its beak. "Surely, you do not mean--" rasped Surya.
"I am serious. I trust the both of you, but more than that, I trust that you can allow my son safe passage out of Troy," Helios informed.
"Master," Surya replied, "phoenixes, we are not the most subtle of creatures. The Trojans, not to mention the Greeks, shall spot us before we can even see them."
"I have a plan," Helios assured them. "If you trust me, both my son and the two of you shall come away unharmed. But, first, you deserve to know everything I do about my son. It is only fair.
"A few years before the troops arrived in Troy, I met a woman. Back then, I could freely visit Troy from time to time. It was a beautiful city with even more beautiful women. There, I found her: a woman that argued Helen's beauty. The people in this place couldn't see it. She was poor, a beggar who was covered in the vilest filth I could imagine. I had no love for this woman when I laid eyes upon her; only pity. So, I cleaned her. And I found a radiance incomparable to diamonds. I fell in love with this woman. But what could I do? I could not make her a god. It is against my power. I could not live on Earth with her. I have a duty to ensure the sun rises and falls daily. I had to leave.
"I came back as often as I could. We spent what little time we had embracing each other's company. Finally, one day, I lay with her. Nine months later she conceived a son. I was not present at the birth, for I had to tend to the sun. She named him Aethon. I saw him all of three times before the Greeks arrived. I now feared for the safety of both her and Aethon. I could watch them, but going near the city would be an act of divine war by Zeus's reasoning. I figured the quarrel would be settled easily: a short return of Helen, the death of a royal or two. Tell that to the Spartans. They love their fights. After it became evident that the fight would be long-term, I started seeking new ways to escort them out of Troy.
"I've tried once every year so far--anymore and I fear the Olympians would catch on--with each try resulting in failure. The fifth attempt killed Aethon's mother. The next two almost cost Aethon's life. The efforts thus far have been reckless. What I need is not a fighter but a planner. You two represent the wisest of the phoenixes that I have. He is one of the few demigod sons I have. I do not wish to lose him."
Surya knew the hopelessness of arguing with a god. "The boy. What does he look like?"
Helios smiled, nodding in gratitude. "He is ten years old. Blonde, a handsome young man, quite like myself. But he has his mother as well. The fragility. The innocence. I will help you find him, do not worry."
"You say you have a plan?" Aureole asked.
"Yes," Helios replied. "Let me tell you."
Exhibit B Week 5: http://therealljidol.livejournal.com/663790.html
The crimson bird landed on a branch which sprouted from a lone tree lining the edge of a cliff. The frothy waves of the sea battered the cliff-side rock and threatened to scale its ledge. The bird glanced at the sun, barely arching west in the sky. Despite the intensity of this celestial body, the bird had no difficulty focusing on its blinding rays.
Any moment now.
Seeming to appear from the sun itself, another bird flew to the tree. This one was much like the first. Slightly bigger than an eagle, it flew with a grace and precision incomparable to the animals that dwell in the realm of Earth. The bird's eyes locked onto the target of the tree, piercing it with a stare that threatened to make a living being drop dead on the spot of fright. Its tail was at least twice as long as its regal body, and the reflection of light made it seem as if its tail was on fire. The bird's plumage radiated a resplendent ruby-colored gleam. The entirety of the bird held the illusion of a meteorite falling from the cosmos.
The phoenix landed next to its older friend on an adjacent branch. "Prince Hector is dead. The Greeks are not backing off. Helios believes this war will be the end of the Trojans. All of Troy will be destroyed soon."
The elder phoenix pondered this for a moment, turning around the idea in his head. "It has been nearly a decade since the launching of this war," the bird sighed. "Most surely, Greece will try to ransack Troy, but its defenses have held for a while... Though I do suppose it is only a matter of time before the walls fall or they sneak their way inside. Why is Helios concerning himself with the war? It is of little importance to him."
"The other gods have felt need to take action," the younger replied.
"The others being Poseidon and Athena, Olympians," the elder revealed. "The Olympians have not been as harsh on Helios as they have the rest of the Titans. He should consider himself lucky, Aureole."
Aureole defended his statement, "These are men, Surya, who are dying every day on that battlefield. Not just men, but the wisdom that they carry as well. The Olympians feel the need to interject; Helios wants to help these people."
"How rash!" squawked Surya. At his comment, the sun suddenly felt more concentrated of the two. While the phoenix never felt the sensation of burning in his life before, he sensed that was what was happening. His entire body felt aflame but not in the usual manner. This time, it was actually burning him.
He struggled through his statement, defending every word. "Forgive me, Helios, for it was you who gave me the flame on my tail. But do you not see the senselessness of it all? In another ten years, it will not affect you. By entering with the Olympians on the battlefield, you risk raging another war between Titans and Olympians. This time, though, there are humans around. The ensuing fight will surely kill them all. So I ask, why not let a few thousand more die for the sake of all life on this planet?"
A third voice interjected. "Because, Surya. I have a son living there."
Both Phoenixes swung their heads downward. In front of them stood what appeared to be no more than a mere man. He was handsome, a muscular man that embodied strength. His blonde hair fell in curls, landing at his broad shoulders. He wore a long robe that shimmered as he stood before them, almost as if it were made of the same fire as that of the sun.
"Master Helios," said both phoenixes, bowing their necks.
"Thank you, my friends," said Helios in his deep, warm voice. "As you both have just recently discussed, the war on Troy is reaching its pinnacle. I fear the war cannot hold much longer. I do not concern myself often with the matters of mortals, but this child is mine. I shall not have him die in this war, for if the Greeks--and, mind you, they will--break into the city, they will kill everyone."
Surya, shocked at this revelation, exclaimed, "But, my lord, the walls are heavily fortified! Why, the only way to break in would be to help the Greeks do it themselves. Then, perhaps we could sneak the boy out, but with all of the Greeks running around, they would likely kill him and whoever carried out this fool's errand!"
Helios stared at the bird undividedly, wavering no attention to any other piece of creation.
"Forgive my tongue, sir," Surya added, "but you made me the cynical bird that I am."
The Titan's demeanor relaxed. He chuckled then said, "And proud, too."
Aureole asked, "Master, who should carry out this mission? Seeing as the Olympians currently hold power, your followers are few. There's no guarantee that any of them are suitable candidates in the slightest. Furthermore, how would you get them over the city walls and back again?"
Helios looked at the younger of the two phoenixes. It was not a serious glance; rather, he smiled. "Do you doubt a god?" he inquired.
The young phoenix scrambled for words. "No, sir, not at all. I only mean--"
Helios interrupted, "Haha, relax, Aureole. I share your concerns. Of my followers, not one is fit for this journey. Nor do I trust any living man to rescue my son."
"Then, who?" Surya asked.
"You two."
The birds screeched, one nearly falling out of the tree, the other almost setting it on fire with a burst of flame through its beak. "Surely, you do not mean--" rasped Surya.
"I am serious. I trust the both of you, but more than that, I trust that you can allow my son safe passage out of Troy," Helios informed.
"Master," Surya replied, "phoenixes, we are not the most subtle of creatures. The Trojans, not to mention the Greeks, shall spot us before we can even see them."
"I have a plan," Helios assured them. "If you trust me, both my son and the two of you shall come away unharmed. But, first, you deserve to know everything I do about my son. It is only fair.
"A few years before the troops arrived in Troy, I met a woman. Back then, I could freely visit Troy from time to time. It was a beautiful city with even more beautiful women. There, I found her: a woman that argued Helen's beauty. The people in this place couldn't see it. She was poor, a beggar who was covered in the vilest filth I could imagine. I had no love for this woman when I laid eyes upon her; only pity. So, I cleaned her. And I found a radiance incomparable to diamonds. I fell in love with this woman. But what could I do? I could not make her a god. It is against my power. I could not live on Earth with her. I have a duty to ensure the sun rises and falls daily. I had to leave.
"I came back as often as I could. We spent what little time we had embracing each other's company. Finally, one day, I lay with her. Nine months later she conceived a son. I was not present at the birth, for I had to tend to the sun. She named him Aethon. I saw him all of three times before the Greeks arrived. I now feared for the safety of both her and Aethon. I could watch them, but going near the city would be an act of divine war by Zeus's reasoning. I figured the quarrel would be settled easily: a short return of Helen, the death of a royal or two. Tell that to the Spartans. They love their fights. After it became evident that the fight would be long-term, I started seeking new ways to escort them out of Troy.
"I've tried once every year so far--anymore and I fear the Olympians would catch on--with each try resulting in failure. The fifth attempt killed Aethon's mother. The next two almost cost Aethon's life. The efforts thus far have been reckless. What I need is not a fighter but a planner. You two represent the wisest of the phoenixes that I have. He is one of the few demigod sons I have. I do not wish to lose him."
Surya knew the hopelessness of arguing with a god. "The boy. What does he look like?"
Helios smiled, nodding in gratitude. "He is ten years old. Blonde, a handsome young man, quite like myself. But he has his mother as well. The fragility. The innocence. I will help you find him, do not worry."
"You say you have a plan?" Aureole asked.
"Yes," Helios replied. "Let me tell you."
Exhibit B Week 5: http://therealljidol.livejournal.com/663790.html