Apr 04, 2006 14:49
i sit in lab staring at the blank page that is my comps proposal. why am i sitting in lab waiting instead of performing the lab? oh, because we forgot to come in two hours early to start our lab. so we have two hours before we can even begin.
anyway, i sit in lab staring at a blank word document because i have no motivation to write the darn thing. i have the time right now, so i should get it out of the way since it's due on monday. the reason i can't write is because i'm a little afraid of the process. it means i'll have started comps, and senior year will begin shortly (i.e. my last year). also, the nature of my project terrifies me. I think i'm afraid to write my proposal because i can't believe i have to gall to propose what i intend to. is it to presumptuous of my to suggest designing a mainstage for my comps? I feel really inadequate to the task, and i guess it's just my fear of rejection coming back. i don't want to suggest designing a mainstage because i don't want the department to shoot me down, tell me i don't have the skill, the talent, the drive, the ability to produce a design worthy of the pretentious (sorry, i mean presitgious) occidental college theater department. but you know, we can't ever land on the moon without reaching for the stars. who cares if they don't want me "fucking up" one of their sets. i'm sure i would still enjoy producing a paper project (a set design that has no intention of ever being built). so my backups will be to just do a project similar to design I, or write a play. since i've taken playwriting (and it sounds like fun to whip out another play, despite all the bitching i did during the writing process last semester).
ugh, on a similar note (design) someone told me that susan wants jamie to do Everyman next year using a design concept from the deisgn forum class. kudos to whoever designed it, but i HATE Everyman. hate it with a passion. so i hope he doesn't do it. because, it's not that i expect to even be asked to work on the show. i just don't want to watch it.