Confessions of a broken heart

[thatshott_08]

i changed my icon.....it used to say "dont be afraid" but i figured i should practice what i preach and if i cant, then i should stop preaching....my point is that i am afraid. im afraid of being alone and now that i am i dont kno what to do. im sick and tired of battling to make someone love me. i just cant get myelf outta this slump that ive been in ever since brian left me. he was my motivation and the thing in my life that meant the most. its so hard to let go and who knows if i ever comepletly will. i just cant see myself without him and i want him back. i feel so empty and im getting to the point where i dont even kno how to explain myself or anything. i feel like i should just give up...on love i mean. i love brian and we cant be together.....so whats the point in love? so u can hurt? i dont exactly kno but its hurting me alot. becuz i dont want to let go, i dont want to move on. becuz even after all this i care....i care so much. i just dont feel like anyone could make me feel like he did. a friend of mine told me about how he was friends with a girl and tried to tell her again and again how he felt for her but she only wanted to be friends so it wouldnt ruin the relationship which hurt him everytime he saw her and he kept risking his heart for her and now they're together.... a direct quote from him is: "and i just think that one second of having her is worth ten times more than all that pain"
it makes me not want to give up but i just dont kno what more i can do. i want brian to love me and i want him to want to be with me....but there somethings that just cant be changed. and somehow i have to learn to accept that. of course not anytime soon becuz im stubborn and things dont get in my head that well but i cant let go of someone i love as much as i love brian. its just not gonna happen.