St. Louis: The Coffee Shop Across The Street From Francine's Dorm, Wednesday Evening

[thatsamilkshake]

Wow, a red-letter day for Francine: the first time since she'd left Fandom that she actually missed the ability to fume her way over to Caritas and order whatever the heck she wanted without getting carded.

Not that she'd ever done that while she was there and not thinking she was someone else -- she just missed the ability now. Peppermint hot

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[bitch_prince]

After hearing-- something from Merlin, Arthur had been struck by this sense that he should probably do something.

However, he'd also been struck by a healthy and long-standing fear of upset girls (who were irrational and impossible to handle), so he'd taken an equally healthy wait before actually trying to call.

Maybe she'd stopped crying. That would be brilliant. (Had she been crying? She must've.)

[thatsamilkshake]

Duuuuh.

But lucky, lucky Arthur was getting a Francine who'd already talked to two people and ordered a second cup of cocoa, so the odds of her bursting into tears on him were... well. She was still Francine. Good luck with that.

"Hi, Arthur."

[bitch_prince]

Never before had he been so flummoxed by a simple greeting. The etiquette for dealing with upset girls still largely escaped him, and Arthur was already beginning to see where he had gone wrong here.

He should have called Katchoo. She would have yelled. At least that would have been comforting and familiar.

"Francine," he began, in a tone of voice that was entirely too upbeat for the situation. "Merlin tells me you're in a bit of a state." Did anyone need to be maimed? Because he could do that.

[thatsamilkshake]

"Actually Missouri's a pretty big state..."

If only she were being sarcastic, Arthur. If only.

[bitch_prince]

Well, at least that was a better reaction than crying or blubbering or whatever he'd expected.

"What?"

[thatsamilkshake]

"It's not a bit of a state. I mean, it's not as big as Texas, but nothing's as big as Texas. Except maybe California."

Not blubbering, not anymore. Just not bouncy. Not bouncy to the extent that despite the ludicrousness in applying it to Francine, you could almost use the word flat.

[bitch_prince]

It was probably a good thing Francine couldn't see the expression on Arthur's face right now; it was the one he generally used when he doubted the existence of her brain whilst being completely confused at the same time.

"...I was talking about you," he said, "Not bloody geography!"

Oh, sure. Yell at her. That'll do it.

[thatsamilkshake]

"Well, why didn't you say so?" Possibly not entirely flat, then, but you couldn't call it bouncy, either. Except perhaps for the sudden sharp drop back to "Oh. Right."

[bitch_prince]

"Right."

And the prize for least comforting phone call in the universe goes to...

"Do I need to go maim someone?"

Sometimes he and Merlin had eerily similar brains.

[thatsamilkshake]

"Maybe, but the only options are me and Katchoo." Not that she could tell you which was the better choice, there.

[bitch_prince]

There was a short silence on the other end of the phone. Arthur was thinking, damn you. Like about the risks of getting in the middle of a fight between females of the species.

"All right," he said, at last, "What's the weather there like?"

And people wondered how certain stereotypes came to be.

[thatsamilkshake]

Oh, Arthur.

"Stupid."

Oh, Francine.

"I mean, raining. And cold."

[bitch_prince]

"We've been getting our fair bit of rain here as well," Arthur observed, inanely. "There are currently repairs taking place in the lower town to avoid damage or illness by the weather."

Look, it was this, or he faked an emergency and turned off the phone. This was progress.

[thatsamilkshake]

Well, fake-normal had its own calming effect, too. "How is everyone? Are Gaius and Morgana okay after all that stuff with Aredian?"

[bitch_prince]

"Gaius is mad at father," Arthur said, after a moment. "Er. Not that that damages his authority any."

Still. Gaius. Angry. Father. Wince.

[thatsamilkshake]

"Gee, do you think?" The weather wasn't the only thing that lacked sunshine today. "Gaius was supposed to be his friend, and he turned him over to somebody who tortured him and was gonna burn him at the stake."

Granted, it did put 'Wants to paint naked pictures of me and has an idealized image of me in her head that I can't live up to' in perspective.