Switchfoot - Dare you to move...
Weird. Went to see Lea yesterday after not really seeing her for a loooong couple of weeks and I was totally stoaked. We went to hillcrest, she got her nails done and then mexican food for dinner. I wanted the time we had together to be amazing because she is leaving again for 3 more weeks. But of course with my luck... My fucking car broke down on the way home from Hillcrest and I had to have Triple A tow it to my house :( it's still not working! I feel horrible because I promised Andy and Adrienne that we'd go to LA pride 2marrow (I was totally looking forward to it)... they probably won't even fuckin believe me! So i paid Stan to drive me and Lea from my house in Escondido to hers. It only went down hill from there. We argued ALL FUCKING NIGHT LONG. I'm soooo bummed because I love this girl so much and wanted everything to work out, I try so hard to be good to her and then all this shit goes down. I don't even really know why we fought, it's so retarded. So I stayed up all night and just watched her sleep because I couldn't. Morning hit, and things were still really weird between us. She offered to have an open relationship and I played along with it, but I really don't want to be with anyone else. *tears* I just want a fucking good relationship for once. So now she's leaving for 3 more weeks and this really sucks. My car still isn't running and school starts Monday. I have exactly 22 bucks in my bank account AND i owe Stan money. I'm sooo totally fucked! It feeels like everything in my life is going to hell right now. I just wanna fuckin die. Had to take the bus today because I needed to get out-- I didn't want to stay home all day and be depressed or do anything stupid which I easily could of. I'm really going to try to get out tommarow and go to gay prom... even if i have to walk another 7 miles to the transit center and take the bus to meet Heather in San Diego. I'm going to really work on myself while Lea is gone. I need to redeem myself badely. She doesn't even think of me the same way any more :( *more teears* gawwwwd someone please shooot me now and put me out of my fuckin misery... i want to die