All things fall into place...
Today I went and filled out some jobs apps- felt that it went pretty well! I'm suprised at all the places that are still hiring, I'll probably go and fill some more out tommarow! School starts monday and with a new job ill be BUSY BUSY BUSY. But honestly, I have to keep busy, I cannot stand being bored and right now I have too much time to get into trouble and too much time to get hurt! Speaking of, recently found out some new stuff about Sierra. Apparently, that one night we broke up (really meaningless anyway), she called 2 of her exes. One, Bridgette, to "apologize" for whatever she did wrong in their relationship and the second, Cassandra, leaving her 3 messages on her phone playing the songs that they had when they were together. And what was I doing while she was trying to get her exes back? Well, I came home and cried my eyes and heart out, wrote her a love poem, and then popped a bunch of pills in another suicide attempt. WTF?! Oh... but she didn't even tell me about her lil phone calls. No, her ex did! And when I confronted her about it, she LIED and LIED and LIED until I FINALLY got it out of her. And she'll never know how much it bothered me to see Adrienne at her house that next day. UGH! GIRLS SUCK!!! Can I turn straight? Please! But anyway... I guess things are better now. I love her more than anything but I cannot trust her anymore and so I've began to close myself off again. With school and work it will be much easier to control my emotions and keep my mind off of all the bullshit. I'd break up with her but I need her right now and I really want to make this work. I'll probably go out with DES (who happens to have the same B-day as Sierra) either tommarow or monday... haven't seen her in awhile but she's awesome. Des has always been there to listen to my girl-drama and probs... she rocks and she's a sexy lil thang (see im writting something nice about you muhahah :) ) !!! I hate being emotional and dependent on a girl-- think I will re-evaluate my life and go back to the strong n sexy independent girl that I always was! yaaaa! Why should I let them bitches hurt me? SLAPAHOE! haha :) Right now, I'm going to focus on ME- MY life and MY needs. Because if I can't be happy, then what's the point?! So 2marrow I will fill out more job apps and then hopefully see Des; Friday is mine and Sierra's anniversary so we will probably go see a movie (she wants to see Garden State- goddamn cancers all emotional n shitt!); Sat + Sun I have traffic school 8 hours each day; and then Monday school starts! YAY! I'll have to be @ Mira Costa at 7 aM each morning... which means leave my house at 615ish (beat AM traffic and parking), which means get up EARLY EARLY if i want a shower. Thank Gawd I have easy hair and can ready pretty fast! So now I'm back to drinkin TONS of coffee and hauling my ass out of bed. O well... I feel so much better now that I know im spending my time productively and have somewhat closed myself off. I don't want to open up like that to anyone for a loooong time. So yah, I'm hopeful. I know I will make something of myself and won't stress too much about all the other shit. Everything will fall into place when the time is right :)