(no subject)
I just went to the park. I sat at the edge of the duckpond for a long time, and I came to some realizations. Granted, they have been come to before, but they're finally starting to make sense in that o-jesus-why-didn't-I-get-that-before kind of way. Some things just are the way they are, and I can't be in control of them no matter how upset I get or how much I want things to be right. And that's okay. I think I've been stuck for too long trying to make things a certain way, and now it's like this big ordeal to just let them be. Just because something happens that wasn't in my plan, it doesn't mean that things won't turn out well. I think it's all about flexibility. Something I have been short on lately. In trying to put my life back together in a way that fit reasonably, I started going back to the things that I knew, that were familiar. But they were so familiar because they were mistakes I had been making for a long time, and I knew they were mistakes.
This is such strange sensation.
Plans aren't static entities. Knowing what you want and knowing how to get there are noT the same thing. Paths change. Even if goals stay the same.
okay. I can't stay in that state too long or I start to repeat myself...heh...while I was 'contemplating the universe' as it were, I also got to look at my surroundings. I never noticed what an interesting ecosystem that pond was. There are more kinds of algae in that place than I think I've ever seen together before...granted, my experience is limited to pretty much washington state, but it was still cool to see how things had developed...
God...highschool is going to be over so soon...at the beginning of the summer, this was a very good thing...but now I only have one year left with which to get my shit together...
if my life were a movie
there would be a sunset
and the camera would pan away,
but the sky is just a little sister,
tagging along behind the buildings
trying to imitate their gray...
it strikes me how much more impact this has if you actually hear the song...
Ani..she has a song for everything...
This is such strange sensation.
Plans aren't static entities. Knowing what you want and knowing how to get there are noT the same thing. Paths change. Even if goals stay the same.
okay. I can't stay in that state too long or I start to repeat myself...heh...while I was 'contemplating the universe' as it were, I also got to look at my surroundings. I never noticed what an interesting ecosystem that pond was. There are more kinds of algae in that place than I think I've ever seen together before...granted, my experience is limited to pretty much washington state, but it was still cool to see how things had developed...
God...highschool is going to be over so soon...at the beginning of the summer, this was a very good thing...but now I only have one year left with which to get my shit together...
if my life were a movie
there would be a sunset
and the camera would pan away,
but the sky is just a little sister,
tagging along behind the buildings
trying to imitate their gray...
it strikes me how much more impact this has if you actually hear the song...
Ani..she has a song for everything...