(no subject)
So it's one of those days when nothing's alright, but nothing's bad. My body's aching. Aching. Dragging with exhaustion and I'm miserable in my own skin. I want out. I want out. I want out. I want a new life, a new face, a new body, new clothes, new friends, and a new past. But there's nothing I can change anymore. The only thing I can change is the future, and the future is so hard to get a hold on. I feel like I'm spinning out of control again, and there's nothing I can do to stop it except stop eating. Because that's what smart people do when they're afraid of life, right? They drink soda, they smoke cigarettes, and they lose ridiculous amounts of weight in weeks' time. I'm outrageously tired. Unacceptably tired. I slept from about 9:30 to 12, talked to Park, got turned down by the old flame/boy of my dreams, called Justin because I was upset, fell asleep about 1 and woke up at 6:20. That's...about 8 and a half hours of sleep. But I feel like I need twice that. I'm exhausted. Unenthusiastic about life, learning, loving, living in general. The best thing that's happened today has been me being able to "pay off" my business law teacher with a mountain dew to add in a 90 for the current event I...misplaced.
That's all.
I'm done.
And I'm not depressed. Just unenthused.
That's all.
I'm done.
And I'm not depressed. Just unenthused.