Accountability, Part 1
Today's subject will be accountability, a facet of responsibility that has all but disappeared from the United States as a whole across the breadth of all generations. But, I think, before I examine how our society blows (as a whole) I'll examine my own credentials as far as even talking about it. So we'll start there.
I used to be very much like everyone else I see throughout society; I'd knowingly do wrongful deeds and then attempt to lie my way out of the repercussions. Did it all the time, especially in those 14-15-16 years (though it certainly started before that and ended afterward, that was the time frame where damn near everything I did was a lie). It got to the point where I would lie to my parents about inconsequential things that wouldn't have even gotten me in trouble had I told the truth ("do you know where your brother is?" etc); I completely lost sight of the value of truthfulness and the positive effects bestowed through its usage. If there's any kind of skeleton in my closet that I'm not proud of, those days of lying my ass off are that skeleton. Man, in that time frame, I'd lie about doing my homework, about having cleaned my room, going to the mechanic, talking to a teacher, the reason I got a bad grade, how much I studied, what I was really doing (usually absolutely nothing) when I turned down an invitation to hang out, all those kinds of things; it's so easy to think of examples. For anyone whose sensibilities I offended in this time frame... I really am sorry. It's the motivation I use to make myself a better human being today.
So what changed? Why did I stop being a slimy piece of shit? Truth is, it usually got me what I wanted or was after. Most people are willing to trust you or give you benefit of the doubt until they've caught you lying multiple times. I learned how to discriminate my own behavior and observe myself from an outward perspective. This was the biggest awakening I've had in life to date. I truly didn't like the person I was and certainly wouldn't have wanted a friend like myself. I was something of a scummy character (compassionate and concerned, yes; considerate, absolutely not.) I reacted very poorly to criticism and always took it to heart (and often held it against my critic, even when I could recognize it was merited I was still upset at having my bluff called). Frankly, I had a large number of so-called "passive-aggressive" behaviors that I would try to defend by lying my ass off.
But upon maturing enough to analyze myself with minimal bias, I started to drastically improve the quality of myself as a person. For example: I'm cleaner, have higher self-esteem, and take better care of myself. I'm honest when I don't want to go somewhere or do something and simply say so, rather than agreeing to go (in an effort to look good) and then find some excuse to cancel later. Most importantly though, I learned how to take charge of my own shit and make sure I take care of things that need to get done. Instead of sitting back and waiting on my problems to envelope me, I attack them and solve them. Huge difference.
Looks like this is a two parter; hopefully I've established my credentials in regards to personal accountability, because I plan on attacking others' credibility in my next post. Certainly I haven't perfected this and occasionally still display some of the old behaviors, but this is very rare now. Much more often I use what I've learned about myself to make better choices.
I used to be very much like everyone else I see throughout society; I'd knowingly do wrongful deeds and then attempt to lie my way out of the repercussions. Did it all the time, especially in those 14-15-16 years (though it certainly started before that and ended afterward, that was the time frame where damn near everything I did was a lie). It got to the point where I would lie to my parents about inconsequential things that wouldn't have even gotten me in trouble had I told the truth ("do you know where your brother is?" etc); I completely lost sight of the value of truthfulness and the positive effects bestowed through its usage. If there's any kind of skeleton in my closet that I'm not proud of, those days of lying my ass off are that skeleton. Man, in that time frame, I'd lie about doing my homework, about having cleaned my room, going to the mechanic, talking to a teacher, the reason I got a bad grade, how much I studied, what I was really doing (usually absolutely nothing) when I turned down an invitation to hang out, all those kinds of things; it's so easy to think of examples. For anyone whose sensibilities I offended in this time frame... I really am sorry. It's the motivation I use to make myself a better human being today.
So what changed? Why did I stop being a slimy piece of shit? Truth is, it usually got me what I wanted or was after. Most people are willing to trust you or give you benefit of the doubt until they've caught you lying multiple times. I learned how to discriminate my own behavior and observe myself from an outward perspective. This was the biggest awakening I've had in life to date. I truly didn't like the person I was and certainly wouldn't have wanted a friend like myself. I was something of a scummy character (compassionate and concerned, yes; considerate, absolutely not.) I reacted very poorly to criticism and always took it to heart (and often held it against my critic, even when I could recognize it was merited I was still upset at having my bluff called). Frankly, I had a large number of so-called "passive-aggressive" behaviors that I would try to defend by lying my ass off.
But upon maturing enough to analyze myself with minimal bias, I started to drastically improve the quality of myself as a person. For example: I'm cleaner, have higher self-esteem, and take better care of myself. I'm honest when I don't want to go somewhere or do something and simply say so, rather than agreeing to go (in an effort to look good) and then find some excuse to cancel later. Most importantly though, I learned how to take charge of my own shit and make sure I take care of things that need to get done. Instead of sitting back and waiting on my problems to envelope me, I attack them and solve them. Huge difference.
Looks like this is a two parter; hopefully I've established my credentials in regards to personal accountability, because I plan on attacking others' credibility in my next post. Certainly I haven't perfected this and occasionally still display some of the old behaviors, but this is very rare now. Much more often I use what I've learned about myself to make better choices.