Impossible meme - Sirius Makes Out With Dumbledore; for faiththatfuelsu
"If you stroke that beard one more time, you twat, I'm quite sure all the hair is going to fall straight off."
Glasses were weird. Sirius adjusted the spectacles one last time, his heeled boots clacking noticeably against the cobblestone floor. If he should say so himself, he supposed this Halloween was a job very well done. His McGagglebutt costume was right on par. Save for cat trasnformation and all.
"It's itchy," James whined, a fourteen-hundredth time. I can't see why I'm the Dumbles, I've a much more svelte figure."
"Beg your pardon!" Sirius rebutted, outraged, and smoothed out his robes. "No one has these Minerva, child-birthin' hips, Prongs." Oh, wasn't that a rather cheeky grin? "'Cept me, 'course."
"Show off."
"Flat-arse."
"FAT-arse."
"Is the honeymoon over?"
"No, just Marilyn Monroe called and she'd like her behind back."
"Stop oggling strange woman and spank your wife, she's spent quite some time on her costume," Sirius returned, at once jamming his hat on a little harder. "And she does look lovely tonigh." He batted his eyelashes a little, for emphasis.
"I do think I've just vomited in my mouth a little."
"Oh, behave."
James was, of course, NO HELP, all four thousand and fifty-seven mice herded into their respective boxes about the school. They were set to open, all at exactly the same time - nine pm, respectively, two days AFTER Halloween. Why? Because Halloween was too expected. Also, this would technically have them committing their terrible prank at precisely 69 o'clock of all Hallow's Eve and they were, in fact, mentally twelve.
That was specific, four-thousand and fifty-seven was not. And was also merely because, when James had proposed the idea and Sirius had jokingly suggested so many mice, on the nose, he'd taken it to heart. Did you know what THAT MANY mice looked like all together? Sirius had not known until they'd special ordered from a Muggle pet shop.
"Someone's coming," Sirius hissed, head cocking, looking much like a dog who'd just heard something suspicious. A dog in... Minerva McGonagall's witch hat.
"You haven't finished getting the mice in yet," James moaned, playing with his beard again, tugging it down around his throat.
"I know, I know, you finish, I'll-- hold them off."
"MAKE HASTE, young soldier!"
Sirius barreled off, rounded the corner, and it was when he ran almost smack dab into Headmaster Dumbledore himself that he realized he was still dressed like the poor codger's colleague.
"Master Black." he didn't even comment on the outfit - he HAD, of course, seen it in person just days before.
It was 8:57.
"Dumbles!" Sirius yelped, as though he'd just had his tail trodden on, and stood firmly in Dumbledore's way. "SMASHING to see you, as always!"
"Well, this can't be a good thing."
Dumbledore's eyes twinkled, carefully - knowingly? Sirius often worried that the man can see into his very soul.
"I never. No faith! Did our love die? Really, here I am, minding my business, ADMIRING a fantastic teacher of your VERY school," he plucked at the robes to emphasize. It was 8:58. "And you assume I'm up to wrongdoing!"
"Is it a fair assumption?" Sirius was reminded, gently. He has a spooky feeling he is being simultaneously complimented and scrutinized. "I daresay your, ah, own colleague is probably around?"
"Who? Hm? Colleague?"
"Although given your own attire, I'd suppose I'd have to say I'm around, about, somewhere."
"Oh, that loony! Caught him trying to peek into the girls' lavatory." He leaned in, conspiratorially. "I'd say he's a rather poor cosplayer himself, eh?"
"Ah, yes, as you are quite the spitting image."
"Why thank," Sirius started to reply, when Dumbledore moved to pass him. Sirius sidestepped in front of him.
"Suspicion heightens."
"No! Never!"
"Sirius--"
"Not planning a thing!"
It was 8:59.
"Sirius."
"Ah!"
Sirius lunged forward at once as Dumbledore started to pass again, clapped both hands onto his face and laid a big ol' smackaroony on him. Which went. And... went. Dumbledore was quite patiently astounded. It was admirable. Sirius just-- needed ten seconds or so to kill. Was all.
And promptly broke off just as there was a loud 'DING!' noise, throughout the entire school, James rounded the corner, and dozens of tiny mice started to flood the hallway from every which direction. Dumbledore looked downward as one scuttled across his boot, before he looks very evenly back up to a dumbstruck Sirius.
"I do think we may have to have a brief discussion in my office, you two."