(Untitled)

[thatotherpotter]

Sirius was far too easy to please. Arguing with Regulus was just putting him in an incredibly terrible mood, and. Well.

Not important. What was important here was that Remus was inciting things! Or. Sort of. Whatever. He was asking to hang out between classes! Or after classes. Was Remus done with classes? No, probably not. Still! He'd been all

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The whole office went out, so it was kind of allowed~ at least.

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Remus hoped that as Sirius grew up, he would learn to do more of the dealing-with part of the equation. At least, hopefully if it was thrown in his face a few times as clearly not working. Which it might. Not that Remus wanted things to reach such a boiling point, but -- well, maybe James had been right that once time, when he was not talking to Sirius. Maybe Sirius needed to have such a harsh lesson thrown at him in order for him to actually get it. Although Remus felt like a horrible person for even considering that.

He traced a vein on the back of Sirius's hand lightly, trying to convey some quiet sort of love and support. He hoped no one was watching them. Other couples did a lot more than just hold hands out by the lake, but -- they weren't other couples, and Remus was a little uneasy. But he wanted to touch Sirius, so. He would. "Thank you for trusting me with that job," Remus said, breath catching a little as their eyes met. Odd that -- even now, Remus felt breathless when he really looked at the boy in front of him. He hoped he wasn't blushing. "I think that over my years I've gotten quite adept at chewing my own food, after all."

aww :3 cool \o/

[thatotherpotter]

That kind of tough love or whatever it was, that was really the only way Sirius responded, wasn't it? Maybe just from being raised how he was, a regular talking-to hardly solidified anything. If Remus hadn't cut him out that weekend, before they were broken up, Sirius might've been messing around with someone else right now. The gravity of the situation, Severus and the Willow, that hadn't really sunk in until James wasn't talking to him. Sirius didn't pay attention to little things, like being asked to quit smoking, 'that annoys me', 'stop that, Sirius', those sorts of things. A bit sad he needed a real lashing to tug him out of things, but. There you were.

No, yeah, it was something Sirius had been-- uncharacteristically careful about, PDA and all that. He supposed friends could hold hands if they really wanted to, but. He just kept thinking of stupid Regulus, wondering just how many Slytherins knew the whole Sirius Black is Buggering a Werewolf situation. It. Augh. He'd been so paranoid. And quite like he couldn't breathe, all this week. He'd probably been driving Remus nuts, how close he was sticking - if he hadn't been distracted this afternoon, he'd've probably followed him out to here as well.

"Probably a good thing," Sirius commented, as their eyes caught on each other. "Wouldn't-- wouldn't want you choking." Remus' breath caught in the slightest and Sirius could make out a faint, faint tinge staining his cheeks, odd how intense just-- this, and. Sirius felt rather awful for snapping at him before, still. "Sorry," he grated out, suddenly. "I said it wasn't your business; of course it's your business. I'm-- I'm your business now, rather--" His eyes skittered suddenly as he laughed. "Rather unfortunate for you."

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Maybe it was sad or strange that Sirius needed to really be shaken up if he was going to listen, but -- since Remus was usually willing to just roll over and let mildly annoying things continue on, it worked. Remus knew, on some level, that if anything ever did truly annoy or hurt him, he could get Sirius to listen. That's what really mattered, after all. Compromise and the like, but knowing that on the important issues, they could work things out.

And, yes. Remus was starting to get a little irritated by how much Sirius was tagging along everywhere, but it wasn't wholly awful. Sirius had been quiet when he needed to be, had even just lazed about as Padfoot a few times, rather ensuring the necessary silence. And, well, it was kind of nice, just having the other boy around. Even if Sirius was being twitchy and awkward, even then he was an oddly comforting presence.

Remus's shoulders relaxed a little and he tilted his head to the side. "Fortunate, actually, I'd say," he quietly corrected. "But even then, we don't need to share everything, you know. We're two separate people, after all, and it's okay if we have some things we want to keep private. But-- thank you for the apology," he added on at the last moment, smiling crookedly, because he knew that it must've taken quite a bit for Sirius to spit that out.

[thatotherpotter]

At least, yeah, Sirius did know when the worst of the worst happened and-- things like zydrate, or vampire bites, or cheating or what have you. If someone got upset enough with the matter, it DID get cemented into Sirius' head, he just... needed that kick in the pants.

Well, he didn't want to scare Remus off. If he got too annoying, Remus wasn't going to let him stick around, Sirius wasn't going to be able to keep constant watch over him and generally be a paranoid, twitchy person. It-- well, it didn't sound like Regulus was going to hurt Remus - he'd mentioned him quite a bit, thrown in more than his fair share of nasty words - but there hadn't been any threats, not really. He was so sodding glad Walburga didn't have access to Hogwarts, not too much. There-- gods, there was no telling what she would do.

And then if Bellatrix found out.

Sirius tried not to shudder a little openly, just frowned up at Remus - albeit Remus' smile, which was a bit small but very welcoming - and flexed his fingers a bit. "You have a funny definition of 'fortunate'," he remarked, and barked out a small laugh, rather rough, as he finally sat up and hunched over a bit. "Right. Yeah. That makes sense. It--" He huffed out a breath, forcing his mouth into a smile instead, and flexed his fingers against Remus'. "It's just stupid anyway, so. Right." The bird vomit conversation was better than this.

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Which is why it worked: Remus would let a lot of things slide, so then when he did finally speak up, it obviously had to be a big deal and factoring in the simple novelty of 'Remus being angry' -- well. It worked.

If Remus found out that Regulus knew, that Sirius's mum knew -- it. He would. He didn't know what he would do. Be completely torn as to whether or not he should tell Dumbledore, because technically he SHOULD, but that would lead to him -- well, probably getting in a ridiculous amount of trouble, hardship for his parents, perhaps being pulled out of school. The hypothetical was enough for Remus to consider having a panic attack, let alone the reality.

The bird vomit conversation might have been easier, but Remus wasn't sure he would say it was better. He squeezed Sirius's hand, chewing on his lip thoughtfully. "Well, right. Just saying. You can talk about it or not. Or we can go play fetch. Or I can read Bill aloud to you," Remus offered with a wrinkled nose, nodding at the small, rather battered copy of Hamlet he had been reading when Sirius walked up.

[thatotherpotter]

There was a reason Sirius didn't want to tell Remus. He didn't want him worrying, not if-- well, nothing had come of it yet, it. He knew how his family was, and he knew what they were capable of. He was tensing up a bit just at the thought of it, regularly. He didn't want Remus to get in trouble, to get pulled out of school. Those thoughts hadn't even necessarily hit his conscious yet, he was jumping to such extremes. Remus was a half-blood, Remus was a werewolf, Remus was a ponce and he was with one of the biggest blood traitors in the family. Sirius felt sick just-- even entertaining what sort of risk he was putting the bloke in, it. Augh. He didn't like thinking about it, it just-- augh.

Easier was better, at least for Sirius. "I don't want to talk about it," he said, stubbornly, hoped he wasn't going a bit white. He rubbed his thumb against Remus' hand a few times and scratched at his head. "I don't want--" He wasn't sure what he was going for there, but. He felt rather whiny, even if he hadn't said anything, and he was mashing that thought down fast, grinning again and making a face. "I really can't handle Bill right now. Codger and his big words."

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Remus would have said, if he did know about it, that therefore it wasn't really worth worrying about (although, of course, he would have lost sleep worrying about it all) since it was rather out of their hands. Unless they did something stupid and drastic, which Remus didn't suggest. So, it was all rather -- moot.

Sirius was looking a little pale, which was especially odd and noticable out here in the sun. Remus bit his lip instead of mentioning it. He wished Sirius would tell him really what was wrong, what he really didn't want. Not just blather about Bill. But -- boundaries. Sirius didn't have to tell him. It wasn't as if Remus hadn't kept things from the other boy, obviously. And he was, right now, even. So. Whatever. Right? "Poor Bill," he said sadly. "He wants so badly to be appreciated by you. Come on, then, let's at least walk. My legs are going to fall asleep if I laze about for too much longer." Physical activity! Healthy.

[thatotherpotter]

It was, in a way, which was-- really what got Sirius the most irritated. That he could blame himself all he wanted, right now, for getting Remus into all this trouble - he'd no idea how Walburga had found out about Remus, but, there they were, and. He didn't even know what he could have done, short of-- killing them all. Which was not an option, obviously, but he still. He felt like he could have done something. He was so sodding sure it was Snivellus that had told them too, which-- WOULD make it all his fault and. Nnngh.

Right! Of course. Because avoidance was wildly healthy and. Clearly the right thing to do forever. Sirius had meant to ask him more outright why he hadn't slept too well the night before, but he'd been all preoccupied and now he'd nearly forgotten about it entirely, for the time being. "Yeah, I know, he tries quite hard," Sirius replied, a bit hollowly, nodding and starting to clamber to his feet. He grabbed for his bag, slinging it haphazardly back over his shoulders. "Pads isn't much in the mood for fetch. But walking is ace."

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Avoidance wasn't healthy, but-- they were teenage boys. Remus was all too aware that it was a bad choice, that they should force themselves to work through everything as soon as it came up, but. Well. That just didn't seem very realistic, did it? So he nodded, putting his book in his own bag and pushing himself up to stand. "Walking, then. That'll do, Pads."

[thatotherpotter]

'Teenage Boys' was kind of the reason for a whole lot of everything that Sirius did, and he realized that. Sometimes. Other times he thought it entirely mature what he was doing when, really, he was probably reacting to things with the mentality of a ten-year-old. And hypocrisy. A lot of that. Like when he was fidgeting with his bag strap, squinting over at Remus as he stood and nodding towards him to let him lead the way. "So-- why couldn't you sleep too well last night?" he asked, suddenly, realizing fully how it sounded when he ducked out of his own issues and asked Remus about his own instead - left him a window to back out as well, though! Just. Curious.

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Remus reached for Sirius's hand again as they started to vaguely wander down the line of the lake, away from the crowd of first and second years slacking off on their studies. He briefly considered a snarky response, asking why he had to be honest if Sirius wasn't, but -- he didn't really mind, to be honest. Remus shrugged. "I was just thinking a lot, I suppose. About the summer and just -- well. I originally was going to come out to my parents. And now I just. Don't know if it'll work, and I'm second guessing it all," he said quietly, shrugging again.

ALSO heading to youth group \o/ be back in a couple hours.

[thatotherpotter]

Sirius twined his fingers with Remus' own again, feeling a bit simultaneously amazingly better to hold onto him, and also that much more wary, even checking over his shoulder, once, to make sure nobody was watching them. He peered at Remus, a bit uncertainly. thinking a lot. "Don't know if it'll work?" he asked, rubbing his thumb against Remus' own. "How come?"

have fuuuun!

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Remus was rather trying to ignore his own uneasy feelings about such a casual display of affection, but -- Sirius was looking around and that was more than enough to make Remus tense a little, feel even more nervous. "Er," he said, trying to ground himself. "Well, before, I thought I'd have the whole summer to work up to it. Find the right time. But now I've just two weeks, unless I want to chance on putting it off until late August. It's -- stressful," he admitted, grimacing and looking off in front of them.

JK ONE MORE okay, now i'm gone

[thatotherpotter]

Yeah, Sirius had been-- a freak. For the last few days. Nyagh. Fucking Regulus. Making him paranoid. He wanted to punch that bloke. In the nose. He kept his own eyes forward now, thumb still sliding easily against Remus' hand. "Right. But-- trip." He sighed a little, wrinkled his nose. "S'pose that's a one thing I can't give you advice on. Coming out to parents, 's not really. A concern of mine. You could always just-- quick like a band-aid? Before they go?"

tease! get ye hence!

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Remus let out a small sigh, bumping his shoulder gently against Sirius's as he squeezed his hand. "I guess. I don't know. I just -- I have no idea what to expect. At all. What if they -- cancel the trip or get so upset they don't let me stay at home?" He shook his head, grimacing. "Just. Yeah. Completely clueless, and it's. I could put it off, but I feel like every time I speak to Mum without telling her, I'm lying."

I'M BACK, BABYDOLL

[thatotherpotter]

Sirius worried at his bottom lip with his teeth, watching Remus as he spoke - not glancing around a bit paranoid, focusing on him for now. 'You really think they'd do that?' he almost asked, but, well, his mother would've-- Sirius didn't even know what, if Sirius had told her, living there. But Remus' parents were most certainly not Sirius', and. He didn't have something very appropriate to compare this to. He wondered how the Potters would've reacted. "Yeah, yeah, I can get that," he mumbled, considering and. "I dunno, it's like-- I don't know your parents too well, I can't really-- gauge how they'd react, like. I don't think they'd cancel it, per se, your mum's-- well, she's a nice lady, she wouldn't jump to that, yeah?"