a New York education
thanks to 1more_sickpuppy for reminding me that overheardinnewyork.com exists. heee!
Sixth grader: Wait, I don't understand. When you have oral sex you don't take off your clothes, so how can you get AIDS?
Student teacher: Ummm...
--University Neighborhood Middle School
Teacher: Does anyone know what 'condemned' means? Okay, let me give you an example: The Jews condemned Jesus. [Everyone looks at only Jewish student in class, who then glares at the teacher.] Oh, I'm so sorry!
--Notre Dame Academy, Staten Island
Teacher to girl who just cut herself with Exacto knife: Would you stop leaking?! Your blood is going to stain the linoleum!
--Bronx Science engineering class
Student #1: Yo, what's in Iceland?
Student #2: Nigga, what do you think? Ice, obviously!
Student #1: Don't that mean Iceman lives there, then?
Student #2: Good question...
--High School for Environmental Studies, W 56th St
Bimbette: ... And then I was thinking, Wouldn't it suck if the Titanic really happened?
Friend: Are you fucking serious?
Bimbette: Yeah! I mean, it would be sad, right?
--34th St
Boy pushing friend toward bathroom: Hurry! Empty your gizzard!
Girl: You mean my uterus?
--Brooklyn Tech High School
Sixth-grade boy #1: What's my stripper name?
Sixth-grade boy #2: Sexy Frank.
Sixth-grade boy #3: No! The names have to have assonance!
Sixth-grade boy #2: My name is Horny Harry!
Sixth-grade boy #1: I'm Lubricant Liam!
--121 Lincoln Pl, Brooklyn
and as a bonus:
Hipster: All she needs is a vampire to keep her warm.
--30th & 3rd
don't we all, my friends? don't. we. all.
Sixth grader: Wait, I don't understand. When you have oral sex you don't take off your clothes, so how can you get AIDS?
Student teacher: Ummm...
--University Neighborhood Middle School
Teacher: Does anyone know what 'condemned' means? Okay, let me give you an example: The Jews condemned Jesus. [Everyone looks at only Jewish student in class, who then glares at the teacher.] Oh, I'm so sorry!
--Notre Dame Academy, Staten Island
Teacher to girl who just cut herself with Exacto knife: Would you stop leaking?! Your blood is going to stain the linoleum!
--Bronx Science engineering class
Student #1: Yo, what's in Iceland?
Student #2: Nigga, what do you think? Ice, obviously!
Student #1: Don't that mean Iceman lives there, then?
Student #2: Good question...
--High School for Environmental Studies, W 56th St
Bimbette: ... And then I was thinking, Wouldn't it suck if the Titanic really happened?
Friend: Are you fucking serious?
Bimbette: Yeah! I mean, it would be sad, right?
--34th St
Boy pushing friend toward bathroom: Hurry! Empty your gizzard!
Girl: You mean my uterus?
--Brooklyn Tech High School
Sixth-grade boy #1: What's my stripper name?
Sixth-grade boy #2: Sexy Frank.
Sixth-grade boy #3: No! The names have to have assonance!
Sixth-grade boy #2: My name is Horny Harry!
Sixth-grade boy #1: I'm Lubricant Liam!
--121 Lincoln Pl, Brooklyn
and as a bonus:
Hipster: All she needs is a vampire to keep her warm.
--30th & 3rd
don't we all, my friends? don't. we. all.