This journal is for (fake internet) friends only
Apparently I'm supposed to say "If you want to be added, leave a comment here," but I probably won't add you anyway.
Seriously? You really want to be friends with me? But what if we don't get along? What if the first blush of mutual interest quickly pales into a vague annoyance every time you see one of my inane posts, but you're too polite to just take me off your friends list until one day two years from now when you suddenly notice that I took you off mine ages ago, leaving you feeling mildly insulted even though you didn't really like me anyway?
We wouldn't want that, would we?
So let's get acquainted first. Rate your journal for me on a scale of 1 to Awesome, based on what your entries tend to be about:
1: Lengthy descriptions of your horribly dysfunctional almost-relationships that are not even dirty and therefore have no value to me
2. Poetry that does not include capital letters
3: Biannual posts that say "Wow, I forgot I even had this. There's been so much going on! I'll fill you all in later!"
4: Pictures of your pets and/or children
5: Your feelings about current music, movies or literature
6: Stories about you getting high and doing horribly foolish things
7: Dirty stories about your raging sex life
8: Dirty stories about your raging sex life that are also funny
9: Mostly pictures of your boobs
AWESOME: Pictures of your boobs playing with action figures.
Now add one bonus point for each of the following statements that are true:
- I like to comment endlessly on other people's posts
- If I see that you have posted something intended to be funny, I will comment to tell you it was funny, even if it wasn't really very funny
- I know how to use "your" and "you're" correctly
- I do not upload a million new userpics every day that are not pictures of my breasts but are instead animated GIFs of rainbows
- I live in or near Boston and am easy
- I am not your wife
Finally, post your score, or the score you made up because you don't really care enough to think about my stupid quiz, along with the answer to this question: "If I were one of the chicks from 'Wild Things,' which one would I be?" Show your work. I will then make my decision based entirely on whether or not I get distracted by thinking about that scene where Denise Richards and Neve Campbell make out.
Seriously? You really want to be friends with me? But what if we don't get along? What if the first blush of mutual interest quickly pales into a vague annoyance every time you see one of my inane posts, but you're too polite to just take me off your friends list until one day two years from now when you suddenly notice that I took you off mine ages ago, leaving you feeling mildly insulted even though you didn't really like me anyway?
We wouldn't want that, would we?
So let's get acquainted first. Rate your journal for me on a scale of 1 to Awesome, based on what your entries tend to be about:
1: Lengthy descriptions of your horribly dysfunctional almost-relationships that are not even dirty and therefore have no value to me
2. Poetry that does not include capital letters
3: Biannual posts that say "Wow, I forgot I even had this. There's been so much going on! I'll fill you all in later!"
4: Pictures of your pets and/or children
5: Your feelings about current music, movies or literature
6: Stories about you getting high and doing horribly foolish things
7: Dirty stories about your raging sex life
8: Dirty stories about your raging sex life that are also funny
9: Mostly pictures of your boobs
AWESOME: Pictures of your boobs playing with action figures.
Now add one bonus point for each of the following statements that are true:
- I like to comment endlessly on other people's posts
- If I see that you have posted something intended to be funny, I will comment to tell you it was funny, even if it wasn't really very funny
- I know how to use "your" and "you're" correctly
- I do not upload a million new userpics every day that are not pictures of my breasts but are instead animated GIFs of rainbows
- I live in or near Boston and am easy
- I am not your wife
Finally, post your score, or the score you made up because you don't really care enough to think about my stupid quiz, along with the answer to this question: "If I were one of the chicks from 'Wild Things,' which one would I be?" Show your work. I will then make my decision based entirely on whether or not I get distracted by thinking about that scene where Denise Richards and Neve Campbell make out.