X gon give it to ya
Sitting here with the house to myself, I love the feeling. My mom had to go to lake worth to be with my uncle, their going through some tough times so yeah. It sounds horrible, but I really enjoy when she's out of the house. Just peace and quiet, solitude. I'm also bombarded with "pray for him/her/that" or "why didnt you go to youth group" or "why arent you playing for the church, it's for God." Little does she know I can't remember the last time I prayed, maybe 8th/9th grade? My relgious status is confusing. I do believe in God, absolutely, and even that he created the universe and us. And I do believe in the Christian doctrine. I've even gotten into studying parts of the Bible and debating principles with other people in the past. I get offended when people mock my church's sign on the pumpkin patch. So that would make me a Christian. But, as I go to church, I see that I am completely different than 95% of the people there. I'm not an optimist, I curse profoundly, I can be horribly cruel to people, I think for myself (I'm not an ignorant sheep), I'm an intellectual, and I have quite a twisted sense of humor. I'm not at all what you would call a typical Christian, and I find most of the time I can't stand those people. And many would be on my case for that. But why? The teenage years are such experimental times, growing times. If some teens want to be pious, that's great, but it just doesn't seem natural to me during this time of peoples' lives. If very organized religion helps teens through these tough years, then great. But as for me, it is more of a burden than a help, especially when it's held over my head to make me feel guilty. I hate playing oboe in these crappy musical cantatas my church puts on. The music is commercial contemporary Christian crap, and I get nothing out of it, but I'm forced to do it, because "it's for God." Yeah, that's completely fair. Why can't my mom and her friends do their bible study groups and prayer meetings and choir, and just leave me be? Teenagers aren't meant to be pious, back off.
That was fun. Even more fun was driving to Dillard. I had my LOTR: ROTK soundtrack playing, and when I got closer to the school, in the not so great area, the Mordor music started playing, and coupled with the dark skies, huge claps of thunder, bolts of lighting, and not one white person as far as I could see, it was fun.
Something had been really bothering me, and weighing me down, a grudge I guess you'd call it, but I talked to this person, and I feel much better now. Grudges are no fun, just talk, it'll probably bring the persons involved closer in the end.
There always seems to be something I wish to type about, but I forget by the time I update this thing. Oh blumpkin.
That was fun. Even more fun was driving to Dillard. I had my LOTR: ROTK soundtrack playing, and when I got closer to the school, in the not so great area, the Mordor music started playing, and coupled with the dark skies, huge claps of thunder, bolts of lighting, and not one white person as far as I could see, it was fun.
Something had been really bothering me, and weighing me down, a grudge I guess you'd call it, but I talked to this person, and I feel much better now. Grudges are no fun, just talk, it'll probably bring the persons involved closer in the end.
There always seems to be something I wish to type about, but I forget by the time I update this thing. Oh blumpkin.