iotas and eternity
One and the same in the end? One of the most difficult realities is the concept of the infinite. It simply doesn't work with my perception. I am spatially and chronologically based, everything measured in fixed distances and times. My concept of existence is always defined in those terms. To accept that there is no beginning or end, for myself or the universe, is ultimately not something I can truly grasp (at least in my opinion). I can mouth the words, but I really don't think I can perceive it. I think to truly understand would require perception beyond the bounds of our current dimensions. I can definitely theorize about our interaction with higher dimensions, but a perception shift is a much different thing. It's like the conclusion at an end of a math problem. Seeing all the numbers that make up the conclusion don't mean anything until you grasp the totality of the result.
That sounds like a lot of goofy babble... but it connects to what I was thinking about last night. When talking about death, I realized that my conversation was more about conceptualizations and representations of physical (spatial and chronological) entities as mental constructs. The world and people around me are essentially mental constructs in the end. Not to detract from their importance or denounce their existence, but ultimately the only thing I actually posses is my internal image or impression of them. This image may or may not represent them accurately, and is dependent on both my observation and interpretation. Typically the more interaction I have with a thing or a person, the more accurate the resolution of the image I have of them... or the better I 'know' them.
Ultimately perceiving one of these individual things or people leads to an awareness of the measurement of the universe in comparison. I see the vast sea of physical entities and time, and it's difficult to see the significance of a single individual or moment. This is an impasse. There is simply no way to deal with this end of the spectrum, except to sense it and accept it.
This leads to another train of thought for me. Realizing the futility of comparison with the vastness, I start to examine the inward. The reality is that my perception has very little to do with the vastness of the universe. It is entirely a mental construct. If my perception is accurate, and our understanding in general is correct, the entire universe, as far as I am concerned, weighs about 10 lbs. My head. Ultimately that's all there is for me. With the reality that my perception is the only thing I am dealing with, I become aware that the mental constructs are ultimately more important than anything in the 'physical' universe. My perception of a person who affects me deeply emotionally becomes infinitely more important than a billion universes which I have no interaction with.
Duh you might say (or maybe not)... most people exist in this space I imagine. The person they love is more important than anything. This is not so elemental to me. The problem is that I have created mental constructs of all of those universes, the people of this planet, the animals of this planet, the earth itself, my friends, family, work. I have an astounding tendency for assigning massive weight to my mental constructs. I daily resist unending temptation to eat any animal products because of my need to protect 'animals' from pain, anguish, and subservience. I don't know the particular animal... it's not there before me, and I will never personally experience it's pain. I send money to people I will never meet, and consider them as important and worthy as the person I pass on the street.
Ultimately my actions are meant to deal with the universe as I perceive it, not the universe as it exists. In my case in particular, I believe that internally generated conclusions are often as powerful as physically perceived data. Because of my analytical and scientific nature however, I exist under the belief that perceived data is law, so if I have perceived something which invalidates my constructs, I will modify them. I see the beauty of the choice to follow perception or modify the construct based on internal desire, but I have maintained a state of objectivity by choice.
And that gets me back to last night's discussion... the long way ;) Ultimately I think the mental construct of a person is more important to most people than the actual person, although I doubt most people would want to admit it. I think the reality is that people create a version of you in their minds, and if you deviate from that too much, you become a different person. If you "act out of character" you are just deviating from people's expectations in comparison with their mental construct of you. That thing is not you, and it will never fully portray you, because there is simply too much information that comprises you, and it will never be fully communicated. The variance usually creates disappointment, but occasionally the pleasant surprise... generally because people assign the values they want you to have, and you usually will not live up to that. If they perceive you in a negative light for some reason initially, they assign you 'negative' attributes (based on their idea of good/bad), and may be pleasantly surprised if you lean break their mold toward the good.
All of this is obvious, but I think it escapes most people on a daily basis. We are creatures who rely on expectation. We have filters that simplify the world by blanketing it with expectation, because the complexities and vastness of the information is too much to perceive fully. We also need to be able to predict behaviors (both physical and mental) in order to deal with a spatial and chronological existence.
There are a number of effects this perception has on me:
It makes me accept peoples behavior, even if it doesn't fit my construct. I don't need someone to be a particular thing, because I realize that my 'copy' of them does not define them, they define it. Same with the world or universe. I only hold expectations based on what I have perceived, and if I perceive something as being different, I am perfectly willing and happy to update my 'copy' of the universe. All of this is of course dependent on continued faith in perception... that's a much larger issue.
It makes me realize that ultimately my thoughts, feelings, perceptions, and constructs are as important to me as anything in the universe. I ultimately have power to create any world I want within my constructs. I don't choose to override my 'perception' but I could if I wanted to (and indeed many do).
It makes me aware of the importance of my thoughts and emotions. They are ultimately the shaping force of my 'copy' of the universe. They are the filters through which the entire universe passes. The ideas, emotions, and perceptions affect every piece of 'data' I receive, making them ultimately the most important element of my universe.
The fact that a biochemical interaction, based on systems which are so small they are beyond my physical perception, is of more importance than the entire physical universe, which is very possibly infinite, and definitely so large that it is beyond my physical perception, is pretty much bewildering.
Hmmm... I should also not expect to wrap any of this into a conclusion ;)
I should probably go to sleep. You probably are going to get tired of having to scroll so far down your friends pages if I keep this up :)
That sounds like a lot of goofy babble... but it connects to what I was thinking about last night. When talking about death, I realized that my conversation was more about conceptualizations and representations of physical (spatial and chronological) entities as mental constructs. The world and people around me are essentially mental constructs in the end. Not to detract from their importance or denounce their existence, but ultimately the only thing I actually posses is my internal image or impression of them. This image may or may not represent them accurately, and is dependent on both my observation and interpretation. Typically the more interaction I have with a thing or a person, the more accurate the resolution of the image I have of them... or the better I 'know' them.
Ultimately perceiving one of these individual things or people leads to an awareness of the measurement of the universe in comparison. I see the vast sea of physical entities and time, and it's difficult to see the significance of a single individual or moment. This is an impasse. There is simply no way to deal with this end of the spectrum, except to sense it and accept it.
This leads to another train of thought for me. Realizing the futility of comparison with the vastness, I start to examine the inward. The reality is that my perception has very little to do with the vastness of the universe. It is entirely a mental construct. If my perception is accurate, and our understanding in general is correct, the entire universe, as far as I am concerned, weighs about 10 lbs. My head. Ultimately that's all there is for me. With the reality that my perception is the only thing I am dealing with, I become aware that the mental constructs are ultimately more important than anything in the 'physical' universe. My perception of a person who affects me deeply emotionally becomes infinitely more important than a billion universes which I have no interaction with.
Duh you might say (or maybe not)... most people exist in this space I imagine. The person they love is more important than anything. This is not so elemental to me. The problem is that I have created mental constructs of all of those universes, the people of this planet, the animals of this planet, the earth itself, my friends, family, work. I have an astounding tendency for assigning massive weight to my mental constructs. I daily resist unending temptation to eat any animal products because of my need to protect 'animals' from pain, anguish, and subservience. I don't know the particular animal... it's not there before me, and I will never personally experience it's pain. I send money to people I will never meet, and consider them as important and worthy as the person I pass on the street.
Ultimately my actions are meant to deal with the universe as I perceive it, not the universe as it exists. In my case in particular, I believe that internally generated conclusions are often as powerful as physically perceived data. Because of my analytical and scientific nature however, I exist under the belief that perceived data is law, so if I have perceived something which invalidates my constructs, I will modify them. I see the beauty of the choice to follow perception or modify the construct based on internal desire, but I have maintained a state of objectivity by choice.
And that gets me back to last night's discussion... the long way ;) Ultimately I think the mental construct of a person is more important to most people than the actual person, although I doubt most people would want to admit it. I think the reality is that people create a version of you in their minds, and if you deviate from that too much, you become a different person. If you "act out of character" you are just deviating from people's expectations in comparison with their mental construct of you. That thing is not you, and it will never fully portray you, because there is simply too much information that comprises you, and it will never be fully communicated. The variance usually creates disappointment, but occasionally the pleasant surprise... generally because people assign the values they want you to have, and you usually will not live up to that. If they perceive you in a negative light for some reason initially, they assign you 'negative' attributes (based on their idea of good/bad), and may be pleasantly surprised if you lean break their mold toward the good.
All of this is obvious, but I think it escapes most people on a daily basis. We are creatures who rely on expectation. We have filters that simplify the world by blanketing it with expectation, because the complexities and vastness of the information is too much to perceive fully. We also need to be able to predict behaviors (both physical and mental) in order to deal with a spatial and chronological existence.
There are a number of effects this perception has on me:
It makes me accept peoples behavior, even if it doesn't fit my construct. I don't need someone to be a particular thing, because I realize that my 'copy' of them does not define them, they define it. Same with the world or universe. I only hold expectations based on what I have perceived, and if I perceive something as being different, I am perfectly willing and happy to update my 'copy' of the universe. All of this is of course dependent on continued faith in perception... that's a much larger issue.
It makes me realize that ultimately my thoughts, feelings, perceptions, and constructs are as important to me as anything in the universe. I ultimately have power to create any world I want within my constructs. I don't choose to override my 'perception' but I could if I wanted to (and indeed many do).
It makes me aware of the importance of my thoughts and emotions. They are ultimately the shaping force of my 'copy' of the universe. They are the filters through which the entire universe passes. The ideas, emotions, and perceptions affect every piece of 'data' I receive, making them ultimately the most important element of my universe.
The fact that a biochemical interaction, based on systems which are so small they are beyond my physical perception, is of more importance than the entire physical universe, which is very possibly infinite, and definitely so large that it is beyond my physical perception, is pretty much bewildering.
Hmmm... I should also not expect to wrap any of this into a conclusion ;)
I should probably go to sleep. You probably are going to get tired of having to scroll so far down your friends pages if I keep this up :)