the barrier
I'm not being melancoly! ;)
One of the most confusing aspects of my life is the power that social stigma has over me. As much as I understand and believe in the importance of connecting with people, being honest, being direct, and expressing myself, I still live under an opressive layer of social conscience. Why is that?
I think I am probably worse than the average person even! What the hell is that about?? I've got this need to have things be comfortable for everyone around me, and it makes me turn into a mime half the time (hey that rhymed). It limits me in ways I can't even imagine, and in ways that I see every day.
I am a freaking FOUNT of interest, fascination, passion, motivation, will, love, friendship, sexuality, creativity, knowledge (okay, I'm not calling myself a know-it-all -- but there's stuff going on in there), AND! I even get pissed off, depressed, jealous, nervous, paranoid (I know, I know, who doesn't, but aside from mis-interpreted depression, how many of those things have you seen from me?).
Seriously. WTF?
It's even hard for me to use exclamation marks.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???
I think part of the problem is that I've always had lots of friends and things have gone well for me. That tends to make you dubious about changing your ways. It's like being in a nice buzzed state and not wanting to mess it up. The problem is, you go through most of your life not experiencing things.
I'm feeling transitional this week in a serious way.
Go ahead and make fun of me for the fount of stuff comments -- I know you want to.
:)
One of the most confusing aspects of my life is the power that social stigma has over me. As much as I understand and believe in the importance of connecting with people, being honest, being direct, and expressing myself, I still live under an opressive layer of social conscience. Why is that?
I think I am probably worse than the average person even! What the hell is that about?? I've got this need to have things be comfortable for everyone around me, and it makes me turn into a mime half the time (hey that rhymed). It limits me in ways I can't even imagine, and in ways that I see every day.
I am a freaking FOUNT of interest, fascination, passion, motivation, will, love, friendship, sexuality, creativity, knowledge (okay, I'm not calling myself a know-it-all -- but there's stuff going on in there), AND! I even get pissed off, depressed, jealous, nervous, paranoid (I know, I know, who doesn't, but aside from mis-interpreted depression, how many of those things have you seen from me?).
Seriously. WTF?
It's even hard for me to use exclamation marks.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???
I think part of the problem is that I've always had lots of friends and things have gone well for me. That tends to make you dubious about changing your ways. It's like being in a nice buzzed state and not wanting to mess it up. The problem is, you go through most of your life not experiencing things.
I'm feeling transitional this week in a serious way.
Go ahead and make fun of me for the fount of stuff comments -- I know you want to.
:)