the big bang theory: the panty piñata polarization
I wanted to make a little tiny picspam of this week's The Big Bang Theory episode just to document the awesomeness of Penny and Sheldon at each other's throats. But naturally, the capspam got out of hand and it ended up almost 100 caps big. Whoops. It was supposed to be for my flist only, sort of a pimping tool, but I've decided to keep it public now that I put all this effort into it.
WATCH "THE BIG BANG THEORY", PEOPLE!
It may be no How I Met Your Mother but it is genuinely charming and funny and has one of the best kinds of humor: NERD HUMOR. It's awesome. And if nothing else, y'all should be aware of Sheldon Cooper's existence. (Also, gotta say, Kaley Cuoco is really bringing it. I watched 8 Simple Rules and all but I never thought she was anything special. But she's excellent as Penny and even more excellent as Penny, Sheldon's Nemesis.)
SHELDON: Alright, Klingons, pencils down.
*~~~*
RAJ: *squeals*
PENNY: What?
LEONARD: Sheldon's onion ring, put it back!
PENNY: It's one onion ring!
WOLOWITZ: Just put it back before he comes!
(Penny puts it back)
LEONARD: No, no, I don't think that's where it was.
SHELDON: Who touched my...
WOLOWITZ: Penny! Penny did it!
SHELDON: Why would you do that?
PENNY: I don't know, I was hungry? What's the big deal?
SHELDON: The big deal is that nobody touches the food on my plate.
PENNY: Alright, look, I didn't know. I'm sorry.
SHELDON: Well, I'm sorry. But that is your second strike.
PENNY: What?
SHELDON: You have two strikes. Three strikes and you're out. It's a sports metaphor.
PENNY: A sports metaphor?
SHELDON: Yes, baseball.
PENNY: Alright, I'll play along. What was my first strike?
SHELDON: March 18th: you violated my rule about forwarding e-mail humor.
PENNY: I did?
SHELDON: The photo of the cat who wants to HAS cheeseburger!
PENNY: Oh come ooon, everybody loves lolcats. They're cute and they can't spell...cause they're cats.
SHELDON: I trusted you with my e-mail address and you betrayed that trust by sending me Internet banalities. Strike one! Touching my food - strike two.
LEONARD: Don't worry, they only stay on your record for a year.
WOLOWITZ: You can get them removed early but you have to take his class.
PENNY: Oh come on, I touched one onion ring.
SHELDON: And then you put it back, compromising the integrity of all the other onion rings.
PENNY. Oh honey, the buses don't go where you live, do they?
SHELDON: You're sitting in my spot.
PENNY: You've gotta be kidding me!
SHELDON: Leonard, she's in my spot.
LEONARD: Yeah, yeah. See, here's the thing. After you leave, I still have to live with him.
PENNY: I don't care. I'm taking a stand. Metaphorically.
SHELDON: Alright, that's it. Strike three.
PENNY (mocks): Ooooh, strike three!
PENNY: I'm banished?! What the hell kind of crap is that?!
*~~~*
SHELDON: Excuse me! You forgot my barbecue bacon cheeseburger, barbecue sauce, bacon and cheese on the side.
PENNY. Oooh, I didn't tell you? You're banished from the Cheesecake Factory.
SHELDON: Why?!
PENNY: Well, you have three strikes. One - coming in. Two - sitting down. And three - I don't like your attitude.
SHELDON: You can't do that. Not only is it a violation of the California state law, it flies directly in the face of Cheesecake Factory policy.
PENNY: Yeah, no, there's a new policy. No shoes, no shirt, no Sheldon.
WOLOWITZ: I bet we could sell that sign all over Pasadena.
*~~~*
PENNY: Here, try and go online.
LEONARD: Problem with the WiFi?
PENNY: Just try.
SHELDON (on Penny's laptop screen): Greetings, hamburger toucher. You are probably wondering why you can't IM with your little friends about how much you HEART various things. Well, this recorded message is alerting you that I am putting an end to your parasitic piggybacking upon our WiFi. If you want to remedy the situation, you can contact the phone company, set up your own WiFi and pay for it. Or you may apologize to me.
PENNY: It is on. I am gonna introduce your friend to a world of hurt.
LEONARD: Penny, you don't want to get into it with Sheldon. The guy is one lab accident away from being a supervillain.
PENNY: I don't care, I was in junior rodeo. I can hogtie and castrate him in 60 seconds.
WOLOWITZ: No need to neuter the nerd, I can get you back online.
LEONARD: See, problem solved.
WOLOWITZ: Voila.
SHELDON (on the laptop screen): Hello, puny insects. As a consequence of your efforts to circumvent my will, everyone is awarded one additional strike.
*~~~*
SHELDON: Oh! Hello.
PENNY: Time to do your laundry, huh?
SHELDON: It's Saturday night. Saturday is laundry night.
PENNY: I know. E-very Saturday at 8:15. Easy to anticipate.
SHELDON: What are you implying?
PENNY: I'm implying that you're a creature of habit. And if something were to prevent you from doing your laundry on Saturday at 8:15, you might find it...unpleasant.
PENNY: Oh no. Are all the machines taken?
SHELDON: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
PENNY: Yeah well, your Ken can kiss my Barbie.
*~~~*
PENNY: Sheldon! Sheldon! Sheldon!
SHELDON: Yeees?
PENNY: Where are my clothes?
SHELDON: Your clothes?
PENNY: Yes. I left them in the washers and when I went down to get them, they were gone.
SHELDON: Really? Despite the sign that says "Do not leave laundry unattended"?
PENNY: Sheldon, where are my clothes?
SHELDON: You know, I do recall seeing some female undergarments. Where was that? Oh, yes! Earlier this evening I happened to gaze out the window and a brassiere caught my eye. Do those look familiar?
PENNY: How the hell did you get them up on that telephone wire?
SHELDON: When you understand the laws of physics, Penny, anything is possible. And may I add: MWA HA HA.
PENNY: Get them down.
SHELDON: Apologize.
PENNY: Never.
SHELDON: Well then may I suggest you get a very long stick and play panty piñata.
PENNY: Wait, Sheldon. This has gotten way outta hand. Okay? I've done some stupid things, you've done some stupid things. Why don't we just call it even and move on with our lives?
SHELDON: I've done no stupid things.
PENNY: Look, you gotta meet me halfway here.
SHELDON: I am meeting you halfway. I'm willing to concede that you've done some stupid things.
LEONARD: Heeey, you guys are talking again! Goooood. (they frown at him) What happened?
PENNY: Leonard, remember when I said it was on? Well, now it's junior rodeo on!
LEONARD: Oooh, not junior rodeeeo.
*~~~*
LEONARD: I really didn't wanna do this but...here.
PENNY: What's this?
LEONARD: Sheldon's kryptonite.
PENNY: Oh my god.
LEONARD: He can never know that I gave that to you.
PENNY: Look, I said I wanted to hurt him but...but this?
LEONARD: It'll shorten the war by 5 years and save millions of lives.
*~~~*
SHELDON: Hi, Mom. How are you? But Mooom! She keeps sitting in my spot! And she touched my food! OK, yes, I took her clothes. But she started it! No! That's not fair! Why should I have to apologize? Yeah, I really don't think this is the kind of thing Jesus concerns himself with. No, you're right. I don't really know what Jesus thinks about. Alright! Goodbye.
SHELDON: Did you tell on me?
LEONARD: Are you kidding me? I already have two strikes.
*~~~*
SHELDON: (knocking and talking really quietly) Penny. Penny. Penny. I am very, very sorry for what I have done. Here's your laundry. I rescind your strikes. And you are no longer banished.
PENNY: Can I sit wherever I want?
SHELDON (makes hysterical face)
PENNY: No, no, never mind, that's, that's not important. Sheldon, this was big of you. Thank you, I really appreciate it.
SHELDON: Thank you.
PENNY: Good night, Sheldon.
SHELDON: Penny?
PENNY: Yes?
SHELDON: Well played.
PENNY: Thank you.
SHELDON: Just remember: with great power comes great responsibility.
PENNY: Understood.
~THE END~
NOTES
1. I capped and colored these myself so please don't use the caps for anything.
2. I also transcribed it myself so excuse possible errors since I'm not a native speaker. :)
3. Drop a comment and pimp this! Thank you. ♥
WATCH "THE BIG BANG THEORY", PEOPLE!
It may be no How I Met Your Mother but it is genuinely charming and funny and has one of the best kinds of humor: NERD HUMOR. It's awesome. And if nothing else, y'all should be aware of Sheldon Cooper's existence. (Also, gotta say, Kaley Cuoco is really bringing it. I watched 8 Simple Rules and all but I never thought she was anything special. But she's excellent as Penny and even more excellent as Penny, Sheldon's Nemesis.)
SHELDON: Alright, Klingons, pencils down.
*~~~*
RAJ: *squeals*
PENNY: What?
LEONARD: Sheldon's onion ring, put it back!
PENNY: It's one onion ring!
WOLOWITZ: Just put it back before he comes!
(Penny puts it back)
LEONARD: No, no, I don't think that's where it was.
SHELDON: Who touched my...
WOLOWITZ: Penny! Penny did it!
SHELDON: Why would you do that?
PENNY: I don't know, I was hungry? What's the big deal?
SHELDON: The big deal is that nobody touches the food on my plate.
PENNY: Alright, look, I didn't know. I'm sorry.
SHELDON: Well, I'm sorry. But that is your second strike.
PENNY: What?
SHELDON: You have two strikes. Three strikes and you're out. It's a sports metaphor.
PENNY: A sports metaphor?
SHELDON: Yes, baseball.
PENNY: Alright, I'll play along. What was my first strike?
SHELDON: March 18th: you violated my rule about forwarding e-mail humor.
PENNY: I did?
SHELDON: The photo of the cat who wants to HAS cheeseburger!
PENNY: Oh come ooon, everybody loves lolcats. They're cute and they can't spell...cause they're cats.
SHELDON: I trusted you with my e-mail address and you betrayed that trust by sending me Internet banalities. Strike one! Touching my food - strike two.
LEONARD: Don't worry, they only stay on your record for a year.
WOLOWITZ: You can get them removed early but you have to take his class.
PENNY: Oh come on, I touched one onion ring.
SHELDON: And then you put it back, compromising the integrity of all the other onion rings.
PENNY. Oh honey, the buses don't go where you live, do they?
SHELDON: You're sitting in my spot.
PENNY: You've gotta be kidding me!
SHELDON: Leonard, she's in my spot.
LEONARD: Yeah, yeah. See, here's the thing. After you leave, I still have to live with him.
PENNY: I don't care. I'm taking a stand. Metaphorically.
SHELDON: Alright, that's it. Strike three.
PENNY (mocks): Ooooh, strike three!
PENNY: I'm banished?! What the hell kind of crap is that?!
*~~~*
SHELDON: Excuse me! You forgot my barbecue bacon cheeseburger, barbecue sauce, bacon and cheese on the side.
PENNY. Oooh, I didn't tell you? You're banished from the Cheesecake Factory.
SHELDON: Why?!
PENNY: Well, you have three strikes. One - coming in. Two - sitting down. And three - I don't like your attitude.
SHELDON: You can't do that. Not only is it a violation of the California state law, it flies directly in the face of Cheesecake Factory policy.
PENNY: Yeah, no, there's a new policy. No shoes, no shirt, no Sheldon.
WOLOWITZ: I bet we could sell that sign all over Pasadena.
*~~~*
PENNY: Here, try and go online.
LEONARD: Problem with the WiFi?
PENNY: Just try.
SHELDON (on Penny's laptop screen): Greetings, hamburger toucher. You are probably wondering why you can't IM with your little friends about how much you HEART various things. Well, this recorded message is alerting you that I am putting an end to your parasitic piggybacking upon our WiFi. If you want to remedy the situation, you can contact the phone company, set up your own WiFi and pay for it. Or you may apologize to me.
PENNY: It is on. I am gonna introduce your friend to a world of hurt.
LEONARD: Penny, you don't want to get into it with Sheldon. The guy is one lab accident away from being a supervillain.
PENNY: I don't care, I was in junior rodeo. I can hogtie and castrate him in 60 seconds.
WOLOWITZ: No need to neuter the nerd, I can get you back online.
LEONARD: See, problem solved.
WOLOWITZ: Voila.
SHELDON (on the laptop screen): Hello, puny insects. As a consequence of your efforts to circumvent my will, everyone is awarded one additional strike.
*~~~*
SHELDON: Oh! Hello.
PENNY: Time to do your laundry, huh?
SHELDON: It's Saturday night. Saturday is laundry night.
PENNY: I know. E-very Saturday at 8:15. Easy to anticipate.
SHELDON: What are you implying?
PENNY: I'm implying that you're a creature of habit. And if something were to prevent you from doing your laundry on Saturday at 8:15, you might find it...unpleasant.
PENNY: Oh no. Are all the machines taken?
SHELDON: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
PENNY: Yeah well, your Ken can kiss my Barbie.
*~~~*
PENNY: Sheldon! Sheldon! Sheldon!
SHELDON: Yeees?
PENNY: Where are my clothes?
SHELDON: Your clothes?
PENNY: Yes. I left them in the washers and when I went down to get them, they were gone.
SHELDON: Really? Despite the sign that says "Do not leave laundry unattended"?
PENNY: Sheldon, where are my clothes?
SHELDON: You know, I do recall seeing some female undergarments. Where was that? Oh, yes! Earlier this evening I happened to gaze out the window and a brassiere caught my eye. Do those look familiar?
PENNY: How the hell did you get them up on that telephone wire?
SHELDON: When you understand the laws of physics, Penny, anything is possible. And may I add: MWA HA HA.
PENNY: Get them down.
SHELDON: Apologize.
PENNY: Never.
SHELDON: Well then may I suggest you get a very long stick and play panty piñata.
PENNY: Wait, Sheldon. This has gotten way outta hand. Okay? I've done some stupid things, you've done some stupid things. Why don't we just call it even and move on with our lives?
SHELDON: I've done no stupid things.
PENNY: Look, you gotta meet me halfway here.
SHELDON: I am meeting you halfway. I'm willing to concede that you've done some stupid things.
LEONARD: Heeey, you guys are talking again! Goooood. (they frown at him) What happened?
PENNY: Leonard, remember when I said it was on? Well, now it's junior rodeo on!
LEONARD: Oooh, not junior rodeeeo.
*~~~*
LEONARD: I really didn't wanna do this but...here.
PENNY: What's this?
LEONARD: Sheldon's kryptonite.
PENNY: Oh my god.
LEONARD: He can never know that I gave that to you.
PENNY: Look, I said I wanted to hurt him but...but this?
LEONARD: It'll shorten the war by 5 years and save millions of lives.
*~~~*
SHELDON: Hi, Mom. How are you? But Mooom! She keeps sitting in my spot! And she touched my food! OK, yes, I took her clothes. But she started it! No! That's not fair! Why should I have to apologize? Yeah, I really don't think this is the kind of thing Jesus concerns himself with. No, you're right. I don't really know what Jesus thinks about. Alright! Goodbye.
SHELDON: Did you tell on me?
LEONARD: Are you kidding me? I already have two strikes.
*~~~*
SHELDON: (knocking and talking really quietly) Penny. Penny. Penny. I am very, very sorry for what I have done. Here's your laundry. I rescind your strikes. And you are no longer banished.
PENNY: Can I sit wherever I want?
SHELDON (makes hysterical face)
PENNY: No, no, never mind, that's, that's not important. Sheldon, this was big of you. Thank you, I really appreciate it.
SHELDON: Thank you.
PENNY: Good night, Sheldon.
SHELDON: Penny?
PENNY: Yes?
SHELDON: Well played.
PENNY: Thank you.
SHELDON: Just remember: with great power comes great responsibility.
PENNY: Understood.
~THE END~
NOTES
1. I capped and colored these myself so please don't use the caps for anything.
2. I also transcribed it myself so excuse possible errors since I'm not a native speaker. :)
3. Drop a comment and pimp this! Thank you. ♥