Ouch, my heart.

[thatllamakid]

Is it wrong to get upset about myspace ranking in the top-friends thing? Granted, that's obviously not the only reason I'm sad -- it just puts my sadness into a real life physical form. I want to cry. I really...I dunno. I wish I could describe with words how crappy I feel about this. I know, for the first time in her life, Emily the Prolific runs out of words. I wonder why she hates me so much. I still love her a thousand times more than she knows. She helped me grow in my relationship with God, and she taught me about different personalities and their interaction. I grew a lot through my friendship with her. Not to say that I haven't grown through any of my other platonic relationships; I guess I'm just mourning is all. I don't really understand why this happened. It breaks my heart to think that there may never be any more 3am ramen noodle cravings or weird sci-fi movies or accidental "Green River Killer" incidents. Those were good times. I mean, maybe I'm just dumb, and everything will get better...but even if it does, how could it ever be like before? I really wish I knew what I did. Hopefully God will show me something through this. I'm still her friend, even if she doesn't want to be mine anymore.



God bless you, Cacia.

~ Emily ~