Last Night.
Last night was probably the worst night ever.
It was a huge stepback for me, in many ways.
First of all, i started crying even though i promised my mum not to. I cried when se asked me if i was about to ruin this christmas as well. I didn't get any Christmas spirit last night, i had to wait one hour after doing the dishes because my sister couldn't get the baby to stop crying.
I opened the presents and had a good time.
But trough all the night i had been SMS'in with JT. And it developed kinda bad.
Because I have always been convinced that i absolutely can not manage to get him to like me, since i always push him away. And i asked him what he thinked of me. (it was chistmas eve i was sentimental, go figure) And he said he couldn't answer. So i asked him if he at all looked upon us as friends. I mean i have known him for almost a year now. And he said he didn't know, and that he sometimes did, but it wouldn't take long untill our relationship was all about Whining and fighting.
That got me kinda sad. Since i really care for this guy, and i want him to think that i am ok. I want us to be friends.
So we sms'ed some more, and he actually was honest, and said the truth. That he would like for us to have some sort of relationship, but he wasn't sure we could actually manage it.
I hope so. Because i love him in one way or another.
It was a huge stepback for me, in many ways.
First of all, i started crying even though i promised my mum not to. I cried when se asked me if i was about to ruin this christmas as well. I didn't get any Christmas spirit last night, i had to wait one hour after doing the dishes because my sister couldn't get the baby to stop crying.
I opened the presents and had a good time.
But trough all the night i had been SMS'in with JT. And it developed kinda bad.
Because I have always been convinced that i absolutely can not manage to get him to like me, since i always push him away. And i asked him what he thinked of me. (it was chistmas eve i was sentimental, go figure) And he said he couldn't answer. So i asked him if he at all looked upon us as friends. I mean i have known him for almost a year now. And he said he didn't know, and that he sometimes did, but it wouldn't take long untill our relationship was all about Whining and fighting.
That got me kinda sad. Since i really care for this guy, and i want him to think that i am ok. I want us to be friends.
So we sms'ed some more, and he actually was honest, and said the truth. That he would like for us to have some sort of relationship, but he wasn't sure we could actually manage it.
I hope so. Because i love him in one way or another.