Reinventing my image
I've decided that there is a decent chance that I could actually go somewhere with this job I'm about to start, so I'm going to invest energy into be as promotable as possible. I sort of despise the fact that in order to do this, one should look the part as well as act the part, but it's true, and in order to look the part you need to dress the part, so I went and got myself some flattering business style dresses and a pair of low pumps that are super comfy. I'm also trying out hair styles above and beyond simple ponytail and simple bun, and experimenting with makeup looks, and I dyed my hair to hide the inch of roots peeking through. I'm preparing myself to look like a professional every day again, after having taken the last 2.5 years off of giving a crap what the rest of the world thinks I look like. The good news is that this is totally fun. The bad news is that I gained back the last 10 pounds I lost, so I'm currently buying clothes for a bigger me than I'd like to be, but I'm still down 25 from where I was a few years ago, and I'm not at all regretting having gotten rid of any of the bigger professional clothes that I had, so there's that. Also, I feel like I look pretty good in my new professional clothes, and that's a nice way to feel. I tend to feel more attractive when I put a little bit of extra effort into my appearance, so it's nice to have a reason to do so.
I have some annoying feelings about weight and attractiveness and self-image, and I'm trying to work through them. When I look at other people, I never ever think, "gosh, she'd be awfully pretty if she lost 20 pounds" so why do I look at myself that way? I don't always, but I have more of my self-image wrapped up into my dress size than I'd like to. I do want to lose a little more weight. I do want to have a statistically healthy BMI. But I don't want to feel like I'm unattractive because I have a little bit of extra fat in a couple of places that I'd rather not have any extra fat. That's just ridiculous.
Current BMI: 27.3
I have some annoying feelings about weight and attractiveness and self-image, and I'm trying to work through them. When I look at other people, I never ever think, "gosh, she'd be awfully pretty if she lost 20 pounds" so why do I look at myself that way? I don't always, but I have more of my self-image wrapped up into my dress size than I'd like to. I do want to lose a little more weight. I do want to have a statistically healthy BMI. But I don't want to feel like I'm unattractive because I have a little bit of extra fat in a couple of places that I'd rather not have any extra fat. That's just ridiculous.
Current BMI: 27.3