Hey diddly dee! A pirate's life for me!
Whiled away the hottest part of me day, sitting upon me arse in the usual fashion. Bossed a fair bit, and nearly sent one wench off the plank. But for a 11th hour pardon she'd've been done for, for sure.
Shook the crew up, with me pacing across the decks, doling out whippings hither and yon (yeah, yeah, hither and yon isn't so much a pirate thing as it is a...an...other thing, I trust you shall forgive me, in time) and generally mucking about and poking me nose in where it wern't needed.
Pirating just ain't what it used to be, what with all the H.R. guys thinking they're Peter Pan, and sprinkling fairy dust on them young-uns who don't wanna grow up, due to thems thinkin' they can be Toys R Us kids, and have a million toys at Toy R Us, that they can play with. From bikes to planes, to video games, it's the biggest toy store there is, they don't want to grow up.....
Aaarg....Someone's about ready to be slittin' me throat for that. But sakes alive, there's a time, I can be remembering it clearly, when I'm not so fuzzy from the pints of ale I've been drinking, when it was all so sweet and simple. Aye, Matey, those days when ye just fount yerself a treasure map, and sailed the seas til fortune landed you where X marked the spot. Sure there were trials, there was them who would see ye sent to the brig, and them that would challenge ye. There were crocoldiles that would eat yer legs, and varmints who'd do theys best to see ye to yer grave, but 't least there weren't no documents signed in triplicate, no performance reviews, no performance improvement agreements, and far and away, there sure weren't no verbal or written warnings (back in my day we'd just stick a knife to yer gullet and kindly tell ye to shape up or ye'd be fish food by the end of the fortnight)
P.S. Will someone tell me when it's "talk like a fairly smart, moderately well-read, young lady who is quite fluent in English, as well as American day?" That'd be swell.
Shook the crew up, with me pacing across the decks, doling out whippings hither and yon (yeah, yeah, hither and yon isn't so much a pirate thing as it is a...an...other thing, I trust you shall forgive me, in time) and generally mucking about and poking me nose in where it wern't needed.
Pirating just ain't what it used to be, what with all the H.R. guys thinking they're Peter Pan, and sprinkling fairy dust on them young-uns who don't wanna grow up, due to thems thinkin' they can be Toys R Us kids, and have a million toys at Toy R Us, that they can play with. From bikes to planes, to video games, it's the biggest toy store there is, they don't want to grow up.....
Aaarg....Someone's about ready to be slittin' me throat for that. But sakes alive, there's a time, I can be remembering it clearly, when I'm not so fuzzy from the pints of ale I've been drinking, when it was all so sweet and simple. Aye, Matey, those days when ye just fount yerself a treasure map, and sailed the seas til fortune landed you where X marked the spot. Sure there were trials, there was them who would see ye sent to the brig, and them that would challenge ye. There were crocoldiles that would eat yer legs, and varmints who'd do theys best to see ye to yer grave, but 't least there weren't no documents signed in triplicate, no performance reviews, no performance improvement agreements, and far and away, there sure weren't no verbal or written warnings (back in my day we'd just stick a knife to yer gullet and kindly tell ye to shape up or ye'd be fish food by the end of the fortnight)
P.S. Will someone tell me when it's "talk like a fairly smart, moderately well-read, young lady who is quite fluent in English, as well as American day?" That'd be swell.