this is only for that special someone so everyone else can pass on reading it, thanx
I dont understand how everything i say and that i know has meaning can only be taken as lies and excuses. I wish you could see that im not making up anything, ive been thinking alot about everything and this is what i have to say. What i am saying is not some random excuse that i make up so that i can make things better, these are my feelings and it is so hard for you to understand how i feel if you think that im just some liar. I know its kind of hard to believe anything from me because of how i have been acting lately but my reason for that is that i havent been feeling anything lately. I couldnt believe how much i was not seeing when i finally got in touch with my feelings again. It was like i just woke up out of nowhere and got myself into all of this shit without being aware of it at all. I wish i could have had more control over my actions but i just couldnt even think properly and im sorry but im ready to act the way i feel and to be myself again. It may have been too late for me to get the hang of things again but i just want to change the way you are feeling because my feelings that i am now aware of have not been expressed at all lately and im sorry. Im sorry for having to put this on lj but im just trying everything i can to get my feeligns out.